My boyfriend is suffering from severe depression. He says he’s dead inside...

Don't listen to these autists op, try to find an appropriate time to just let him open up about his troubles. A lot of guys will think its beta behavior or whatever other shit they pick up on the manosphere to talk about their feelings to their girls, let him know that you will not think of him any differently and just be his emotional dumpster for whatever amount of time.

Diagnosed major depressive here. Giving him a little bit of leeway because of depression is fine, but if he's not even trying to break out of it then it's time to go. That statement is assuming that you don't enjoy the relationship any longer, which is the vibe I get from your post.

You can't help somebody who won't help themselves.

If that doesn't work then set an ultimatum for therapy.

I know I’m not his mom but I love him. I have my own issues and he was there for me and saved my life when I almost killed myself last year, how can I leave him when he’s suffering?

I still love him very much but it hurts seeing him so miserable all the time.

>A lot of guys will think its beta behavior or whatever other shit they pick up on the manosphere to talk about their feelings to their girls

Sadly this is how he seems to feel because he never really wants to talk. He says talking about his problems won’t change them. Sometimes he starts to open up but then he says talking about it just makes him feel worse and he just “wants to forget it” etc. He’s more into trying to distract himself as a way of coping.

The only way he's getting out of that hole is if he decides to climb out on his own. It's great that you love him so much and are willing to help. If you want to try to give him a hand, go for it. Just pay attention to whether you're helping him out of the pit or being sucked in to it.

If you are going to try to help him, do what a couple of other anons have said. Gently encourage him to talk about what's on his mind or how he got to this point. Try to get him out of his routine, but don't ever force it. Depression operates on cycles, so breaking the habits and cycles that perpetuate the state is how it is overcome.

Maybe school is getting him I know I get like that because of school

Maybe he feels intimated...try to open to him about your problems as well so he can feel more vulnerable and comfortable around you. Repressing his thoughts will do neither of you good, and I would suggest talking to his friends/family about him seeking therapy.

Look, if you want to martyr yourself and sacrifice your desires/needs for someone who doesn’t try to seek help because you feel that you owe him and still love him, that is on you.

All i’m sayin is mental illness or not, treating you like that is wrong. He actively chooses to (continue) treat you like this, using his depression as an excuse.

Well said. Is he doing anything to get better, Op?

How can you tell cycles and stop em from going down again? Also no op

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You two never made an adventure together and instead just play house. Go on some trips together or get a mutual hobby to interact together.

You can't live off love alone. It gets stale.

OP you seem to be a genuinely caring person that shouldn't belong here. Don't use greentext and shitposts as a reason to leave someone you love, part of a relationship is inheriting your partner's trauma and for you to both learn how to deal with it in a healthy way. Only when he refuses to demand therapy should you place an ultimatium, and if he doesn't get help then there is nothing you can do but leave him.

Did you even read OP's post?
>he says hes dead inside and yells at me
He will never ever attempt to fix his life as long as she is around him

Depression is garbage. It’s hard to beat. I had it along with severe anxiety and suicidal ideation. Nothing you can say or do will help. Period. Mental illness only gets treated when the sufferer chooses too. I had to do it. I also made my hubs severely miserable by being a complete cunt 24/7. You either ride it out until he goes for help or leave if he won’t help himself. Those are literally your options

I was there op. Think of it like this:

Times are tough and he's taking it out on you. There are many, many people with even more severe depression than him that do not treat their partners this way. It is clear this dude's method of getting through tough times is to drag others down with him. It only gets worse from here.

Imagine he was magically cured of depression. What happens when the next bad thing happens? Like something really fucking serious. His parents die, or you lose a child, real life shit. He's going to take out his sadness on you to make himself feel better. He doesn't play as a team.

If he truly cared about her he would...thats why the ultimatum. If OP is inseperable then maybe a break would be beneficial and he could sort his shit out.

>I have my own issues and he was there for me and saved my life when I almost killed myself last year, how can I leave him when he’s suffering?

Google the word "codependence". Your relationship is a dumpster fire that neither of you have the faculties to escape from.

First and foremost have a talk with him, talk about depression and how he needs to get help and improve himself. If he will have nothing of it prepare yourself to break up with him or watch as the situation gets worse.

Communication is key in all relationships, if he won’t even communicate with you, your love is one sided and that’s unhealthy for you.

Turn him on to Jordan Peterson videos. Sounds like the kind of guy who would really benefit from a good "wake the hell up," a "clean your room" or two and a bit of Doestoevsky.

At the end of the day he's denying responsibility for himself and that's feeding the depression, which in turn provides an excuse to continue denying responsibility for his life. It's a bad cycle that will only get worse. I don't know him though and that's just my opinion from your OP.

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