Need help

I truly need your help this time anons. I know this is idiotic and everything but I'm under the spell and I've lost all sight of reality. I really could use some advice.

So there's this girl. I'm not going to explain why I'm so attracted to her because it would be too long. We met in a small (5 people) class at my college, beginning-of-the-year type of thing. One time we were only two to attend for some reason and so on our way out of the school we started talking (I was already somewhat infatuated at this point because I had seen her earlier) for a few minutes. Before leaving her (which I decided to, because 2bh I needed to pee; she seemed a little upset that I left) I asked her number. Next day I asked her to go out; she wasn't available the night I proposed and we went out the next day. So wee met, I asked her how her weekend had been and the first thing she told me was that she had seen her boyfriend. I was still going for it. We went drinking a little, like three pints (to her urging. she got a little drunk). We sat on the banks of the Seine, we sat on a bench in front of Notre-Dame, and we left each other at around 3 AM, having met at 11. Three days pass and she texts me to know wether I was going to a party organized by the school. I told her I wasn't going to but that since she was going I would, too. She responded that since I wasn't too enthusiastic about it she didn't want to either but I insisted and we went. (...)

Attached: IMG_2967.jpg (3264x2448, 1M)

While we're both new to the school, she has a handful of people that she knows there, but she asked me to go. The party was bad so we left almost immediately, we explored the school, tried to go on the rooftop but failed, then we left, drank a beer, I made her dance to some chuck berry, then we escalated a church and when she said she wanted to go home, at about 2 am (we had met at 11 this time too), I told her I was attracted by her. She was standing and I was sitting when I told her; she sat, I think she was shaking a little. She said 'too bad' a couple times then "but I told you I had a boyfriend" and then I don't remember exactly. I think she asked me if "it" was "physical" and I said no, if it was love and I said no (it was), and I think I told her I wasn't interested in being friends. Then we left each other. Then nothing much happened for three weeks, only one time she awkwardly waited for me (or didn't, I can't be sure) in the hallway after class but some fuckface joined us and then we said goodbye awkwardly to each other. Also yesterday she laughed and looked at me after I said a joke to some guy. Nothing else that I can be sure of (ie, excepting looks in class and that kind of thing). It's been three hellish weeks. She's real fine and very friendly to almost everybody, has lots of male friends, etc. I'm wondering if she just never felt anything for me. Also I know from several independent sources that she's dating a 40 yo guy and it's been two years at least (we're both 20). I'm thinking about asking her to have a drink this week end. I don't know shit about love, never loved anything, only fucked a few girls here and there because it's the way things go. Help.

Pic related: pic she took with my phone of our two shadows on the riverbanks as a joke to some guy who was messaging me.

bump

bump

please I really need some wise user's advice, I have nobody irl that can help me

Man this is pathetic. You barely know her. She has a boyfriend. She doesn’t like you as more than a friend. You won’t be able to steal her away. You should move on.

I know it is, that's why I'm asking for advice here. Why would she do funny things like that at night with me if she didn't have any interest to begin with? It's hard to move on.

Move on for fucks sake. Whenever you start thinking about her, do something else, something which is hard and requires you to focus. Something you can do for a long time and also get significantly better at.

It's tough you know. Im fresh out of a very tough period of my life,.I saw happiness in front of me and just like that, gone. Thanks for the advice. Please if any other user could give their opinion.

I know it's tough, and you have a lot of energy. If you ever had anything you wanted to do, learn to play an instrument, learn a new language, now is the time to do it. Put all that energy to good use.