I want to become a stay at home mom

>Also, If I go into school (what my parent's want me to do) but end up getting married and becoming a stay at home mom I would have wasted so much money and time on a degree I'll barely/never put to use.

A lot of people told me something like that when I was a student but always kept my intention to become a stay in home mum.

So I went to university, and got a degree on something I can do from home as a freelancer. It is very convenient, as I do most of the house work in the mornings and my baby takes a very long nap after lunch time. It is tiring to find the time to work, do house chores, be with hubby and baby but it is worth it. I manage to keep my career and my family (of course, my family is my priority).

I think you should go to school, as previous user said you may need a career in the future as a backup. It is not a waste of money, education never is.

I'm in the same boat but I'm a dude.
I'm a junior in university in a program where the career prospects don't interest me at all. I've been getting good marks and all but with hardly any interest.
I've always been really good with children, with people complementing me with how "unusually patient" I am with them. And I've always enjoyed the few occasions where I've had to look after a neighbor's or cousin's kids.
But a few months ago, I had a dream where I had a daughter of my own, and even though it was short from what I could remember, it was the happiest i have probably ever felt in my life. From that moment on I knew that the only thing I wanted to do was raise a kid.
It's been fucking up my concentration in my classes, and all but eradicated any semblance of a love life I had (disliked casual sex, and my school isn't necessarily filled with wholesome girls).
God dammit, I'm fucking 20 and I just want settle down. I'm always told these are supposed to be the best years of my life and I'm just waiting for them to be over.

Thank you all for the input. I will definitely think about going to school regardless of if I become a stay at home mom or not.

I didn't say that I planned on having children with someone from Jow Forums. Just that meeting those guys has opened my eyes to the possibility.

I don't want the baby now. I understand I would have to wait many years before I'm married to a financially stable man but I see what you're saying.

stop projecting your failures onto me...

Yes. I believe having a stay at home mother can benefit children greatly

t. someone who grew up with single working mother

I'm saving myself until marriage. I have no desire to have multiple sex partners. Climbing my husband like a stripper pole will be enough for me.

I would prefer someone older than me because they would most likely be farther along in life than I am. I'm not sure how much older because at some point it becomes harder to relate to people significantly older/younger than you.

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I will back up the suggestion to get a degree, and a real degree, not one in underwater basket weaving.

>I'm saving myself until marriage. I have no desire to have multiple sex partners.
Excellent, and this alone will probably help a lot--not just in that you'll greatly improve the quality of your marriage, but you will also be restricting your dating pool to guys who are much more likely to want kids.

Be very careful with your judgement, though--it's best to wait at least a year, preferably two, before deciding to marry a guy, and impulsively getting married erases most or all of the benefit waiting on sex provides. Get to know each other as people first. It's also likely to be discouraging at first, as many guys are hedonists and they'll run away as soon as you mention waiting until marriage.

On the subject of age, while you'd obviously want someone capable of providing for a family (and money in this sense isn't everything, you can also look at their personality and abilities for future potential), statistically the best pairings are those where the spouses are within a few years of each other in age, and with an age of marriage of 24. Another argument is that the older you go, the longer you and your kids will be without him around. I.e. marrying a 40-year-old right now means you won't even be 60 when he's statistically dead. An extreme example, of course, but you get the point.

And finally, don't rush things. You're very young, and even if it takes you two years to decide on each guy you come across, you still have half a dozen chances before you even crack 30.

When it comes to age. Most guys probably don't want kids young. Although, I'm 20 and definitely want kids. I'm not in a good financial situation though.

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I didn’t project my failure on you.
I’m simply warning you, if you do find someone you really like then what happens if shit hits the fan?
He leaves you with the kids, then what?
You don’t have a job, you have kids to feed, dress and take care of.
Understand that I was trying to help you, my mother was left with my oldest sister when she believed she had it all.
Money, a husband and a house
At the time my sister was 3 and my mom had to sleep with a random guy just so he would allow them to stay at his house then she had to wake up at 6 am to work all day.
I doubt you want to hear your kids say “Mommy when can we eat again”, “Mommy when can I get new clothes” my mother lived through that and she cries every time she thinks of those words coming out of my sister mouth.
She did things she regrets to this day.
So take it as you will.

Easy, just marry me.
I'm 10 years older than you, but everyone at work tells me I look younger than I am. I've been working long enough that I could buy a house in a middle class (or would it be called upper class nowadays?) suburban neighborhood along one of NYC's commuter rail lines in cash, and where I work has good family benefits plans. If only I had a wife and children.
I live in central Jersey, if you're nearby I'm up for meeting up anywhere between NYC and Asbury Park, at least that's where I know restaurants.
This probably isn't the kind of reply you're looking for, but if I don't take every opportunity I see, I might end up dying alone and childless.

Not sure if that’s a good idea for OP.

I have a question for you, where can I meet girls like you?

T E X A S
E
X
A
S

I am a good catch

Go to the gym, get very slim. Focus on making yourself look very nice. Plastic surgery if you have the means. Avoid drinking smoking and drugs. Don't have a lot of sex. Network and try to meet well-off guys.

You'll find what you're looking for.

>super skinny
>fake body
>sugar daddy
aspiring family man, all I can say to this is shiggy
especially the plastic surgery, a devoted husband is by definition sentimental and would be turned off by this

>how do I become a stay at home mommy?
Continue with life for another 5 years and then revisit this question. No offense, but at 18 years old you have no clue what you want. Go to school, please. Don't put your life on hold for some teenage impulse. You're still a child. Let yourself grow up a bit.

You're a part of the problem. A child who wants children. Disgusting.

They need to up the dosage of death in the water supply. I'm tired of paying out thousands annually via taxes to dumb motherfuckers who just want to fuck, reproduce, and pollute the Earth with their miserable genes for a living.

>wants an older guy who can provide for her and their babies
>doesn't want to have sex until marriage
Your chances of finding a man with these criteria is a precise 0%.

For semen. For your own semen. The only thing you are good at catching is your own cum.

Stupid jerkoff guy.

>Should I just join a dating site and be very upfront about what I'm looking for?

yeah basically this
dont fuck anyone anymore until you get married either
guys in their mid twenties and early thirties who are flush with cash will absolutely snap you up off the market immediately.

You are projecting the demands of a postindustrial economy onto human biology, women are at peak fertility from 18-25. She hadn't been a child for many years. You say "put her life in hold" as if there is anything you can do in life alone that is more fulfilling that having a family of your own.
die antinatalist scum

If you can't provide for yourself, by yourself, or for those around you, you are inherently worthless and must therefore be phased out of the evolutionary curve.

Your day is coming, you useless motherfucker. Enjoy EBT, cashcard, wic, food stamps, and charity while you can. Soon it'll all be gone and the weak--the physically weak, obese, unintelligent poor people will be culled from civilization. Your 14 kids included.

You were given the opportunity to become anything, and you chose to be nothing. Insect.

You're a 16 year old virgin. You shouldn't be posting here trying to give advice to adults.

>How do I do it?
Make it a big bullet point when you start dating around. Plenty of men love this idea, plenty don't. When you're dating, tell the man point blank that that's what you want. Date men who only get paid enough to support this, or are on the track for this. I'm a 21 year old female and when I first met my boyfriend a few years ago, he did not want kids. We've both changed our minds and he's buckled down and is working towards getting a better job.
Do not shack up with some one simply because they want it as well. Plenty of men will want it, but that won't make them automatically compatible.
I'd recommend start dating around hard. Sign up for tinder and start meeting people and weeding out the duds. Your goal is to find some one who you have common interests with, and get along with well, but also has their shit together. While dating around, even if you find some one compatible but they don't have their shit together, you've gotta pass them up.

Also a lot of the men who have the same dream as you, will also want it quickly. I knew a guy a few years ago who was 22 and basically he just got hired at a really really nice job and was on the hunt for a girl to marry for this exact reason. So the guys who say "I want a kid EVENTUALLY," are a waste of time.

You were a kid when you got together? You do know that it's very risky to marry someone that young. Most of them end up splitting.

You're 18. Chances are, if you commit to this, you'll get to 35-40s regretting that you chose to spend your 20s cooped up as a housewife

If you like kids that much, get an education as a kindergarten teacher.

Productive to your goals and in demand.

We aren't married lol? Probably won't get married for a while.

That's good, don't rush it. Because if you were 15 when you got together... you didn't even know what it means to be in a relationship. You are a completely different person as an adult.

You have to be 18+ to post here

I met him when I was 17. And kiddo, I'm sure I know what it means to be in a relationship more than you do. We've been living together for three years now and yea, we aren't rushing marriage. We have faced hardship together beyond what you can imagine. Stop stirring the pot and giving strangers vague advice that they didn't ask for without knowing the situation at all.

>he's buckled down and is working towards getting a better job
pet a deadline on this
if you're 21 and interested in starting a family as a stay at home wife/mother you are losing market value every day you stay shacked up with that guy. I hope he can do it, but only a small % of men can ever actually afford what you want.

Yep. I'm keeping this in mind. He has a pretty practical plan laid out but if he doesn't follow through it could be bad. He was a NEET with no motivation when I first met him, and it's made me giddy that me wanting kids has inspired him to buckle down. Like I really think it's given his life meaning. He isn't "working towards a career" but working towards kids.
We will see! I'm proud of him and very very hopeful. Also women don't really start expiring until 25, so I think I'm going to reassess when I'm about 23 and figure out if it's plausible.
I wouldn't mind adopting if I got to the point. I actually think adopting is way more logical and ethical.

>women don't really start expiring until 25
Don't you mean 30? Or 35? Or 40?

>I wouldn't mind adopting if I got to the point. I actually think adopting is way more logical and ethical.
unless its adopting your future husbands biological kids from his previous marriage then you wont find a lot of provider types interested in spending their money raising someone else's kids.

If calling someone a kiddo with no experience, despite being far older and far more experienced than you, makes you feel better about your relationship then fine. Just understand people are trying to keep things in reality, and you are not someone who should be giving advice to OP. Your situation would hardly work in her case.

>Get on reliable birth control, shift your focus for a year or so, and revise these thoughts
>pump a lot of shit in your body and let that decide for you
you should absolutely wait a few more years though

Probably. I was being a strict as possible though. I think it is about 30 when birth defect chances start to rise.
Except my boyfriend and I have talked about it and we both see adopting as a beautiful and genius thing. I've thought about being a social worker and still might be one, and he's on the path to being a child psychologist. We both think it makes sense if I want to keep my body easily (lol), especially considering child birth is fucking SCARY, we both would find it so fulfilling to help a child who didn't have the best chances in life, and would be able to deal with their dark stuff better than others. It would be our kid, not "some one else's". He's a very loving man and Im confident that when he said these things he wasn't talking out of his ass.

I really don't care about a stranger and him being a naysayer no matter how wise you believe you are. I know adult triple my age with half of my experience.

The rate of birth defect rise is minimal until 35. Even in 35-40 it's still quite low.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advanced_maternal_age
Down syndrome is the most common chromosomal birth defect, and a woman's risk of having a baby with Down syndrome is:[5]

At age 20, 1 in 1,441
At age 25, 1 in 1,383
At age 30, 1 in 959
At age 35, 1 in 338
At age 40, 1 in 84
At age 45, 1 in 32
At age 50, 1 in 44
this is just for down syndrome alone.

Who knew that being a woman at 45 would be worse than being one at 50? I kid, I kid.

Being a woman is being the worst.

>we both see adopting as a beautiful and genius thing
he is young and hasn't had the burden of paying the bills on a household and children and supporting a wife. Once a guy figures out how hard that actually is, and what a sacrifice it takes, they realize its not worth it to pay for someone else's kids. T. guy doing that now
>I want to keep my body easily (lol), especially considering child birth is fucking SCARY
dont freak out its normal and you'll be fine. just stay in decent shape and you probably will be 100% back to normal within a couple moths of delivering. Also stretch marks arent as big a deal as people make them out to be, at least not on your own wife from carrying your own kids.

>TL;DR how do I become a stay at home mommy?
Go to church.
One that is conservative and where you can see young families as well.
Wait for blessing.

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Maybe your problem is that you see it as some one else's kid and not your own ya fucking weirdo. All you're doing is speculating.

>I'm not capable of loving a kid that isn't mine biologically so no one else is capable of it.
>you'll be 100 back to normal within a couple of months of delivering
larping faggot.

My guess is that women over 50 are less able to support a fetus at all, and that somehow down syndrome fetuses are weaker, so those two factors combine to kill off x% of down syndrome fetuses and a smaller portion of healthy fetuses.

>you see it as some one else's kid and not your own
yeah but... they are not your own... so... yeah.
my statements were made based on my experiences. Your results may vary. from what i understand some women look like wrecked trains after kids and never recover but I blame their lack of discipline and sloth for 90% of that.

Imagine adopting a kid or even raising a kid as a step parent and then they go through your computer history and see you made comments like THIS hahahahhaha

My wife and I are raising our own kids now and we have no plans to adopt anyone else's kids.

why would any man agree to support you as a stay at home wife/mother if you weren't going to give birth to his children? That's Literally the whole point.

>living together
>cautious about getting married
but you essentially are already
why do people delay making it official while living the married lifestyle? did you internalize 90s stand up comedy routines about marriage?

Some men understand the devastation that children experience when they are abused and abandoned. They may not share DNA but as far as I'm concerned the parents who adopt unwanted children deserve fucking medals. These kids would otherwise get lost in the system, remain unloved and untreated in their illnesses and end up being a drain on taxpayers when they eventually get thrown in jail or apply for welfare. Where do you think these abandoned kids go when people don't adopt them and they have no loving role models to lead them through life? Prison. Asylums. Living in tents underneath bridges. All the teenagers and edge lords may consider raising another guy's kid being "cucked" but, objectively, helping out a child in need and giving them a home they would never have otherwise is extremely fucking noble.

None of that is a good reason to snuff out your own blood-line just to help the spawn of some irresponsible deadbeats survives off your hard work, sweat, and tears. Someday you will understand when you're older and more pragmatic.

me too but im a guy

>muh bloodline

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>i want my currently shitty man-baby live in boyfriend to someday get a real job and pay for me to sit at home all day raising other peoples children who they were too irresponsible to raise themselves.

good luck with that. Really, good luck. If you can find a guy to go along with that plan then I say go for it if thats what you really want.

>None of that is a good reason to snuff out your own blood-line just to help the spawn of some irresponsible deadbeats survives off your hard work, sweat, and tears
You're an absolute moron. You provide a home and love and affection for the sake of the child, not their parents. I'm not saying that anybody is obligated to adopt if they don't want to but to say that its okay to not help a desperate, innocent child simply because helping them would also somehow validate the parent who abandoned them? That kind of makes you a giant, childish piece of shit.
>Someday you will understand when you're older and more pragmatic.
I'm a 27 year old man who works with at risk youth and disabled adults so I see first hand the damage that is done with shit-stains like you strut around with your masculine "muh bloodline" bullshit and spread the shitty concept that rescuing an innocent child from a life of abandonment and abuse somehow makes you less of a man.

imagine thinking you're so important that your genes should be passed on, when you are leading a less than impressive life.

Raising other peoples children is fine.
I wont.
I put my own children first and no amount of emotional guilt tripping will convince me that I should do otherwise.

I don't understand how the child is at fault for their parents' irresponsibility; how the child doesn't deserve a loving home with people willing to take care of them because their parents made a decision they had absolutely no control over. Exactly how insecure in your masculinity are you that you somehow see taking care of an innocent, abandoned child as some kind of negative? You sound like a real cunt.

Okay, and when you reach the afterlife, how do you plan to explain to your ancestors that you intentionally brought their lineage to a screeching halt and invalidated all of their pain and struggle just to help some nigger kid?

was honestly hoping for some good advice

Its not the fact that you refuse to adopt. Its the fact that you portray anyone that does as lesser than you. There's nothing wrong with having children of your own but your complete lack of empathy for these kids simply because they don't share your genes makes you a less than fit parent. Your insistence that its somehow shameful to raise an abandoned child because their parents were too irresponsible to raise them makes you a huge piece of shit. I wouldn't trust you to raise a goldfish.

PFT AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Do the world a favor and throw yourself in front of a bus.
>you intentionally brought their lineage to a screeching halt
Did you know that some people have brothers and sisters?

the world is full of suffering children and I am not responsible for them. I am responsible for my children, and only mine. Be a martyr and end your own lineage if you want but I wont.

I know bitch you want that studio ghibli life and that's fine you're still young you can dream but guess what this is capitalism, this is the age of the working woman, the killer woman, the man-woman... you will be forced to bear the burdens of society childless and deprived of everything thats human.

>the world is full of suffering children and I am not responsible for them
No one said you were. Your decision to not help suffering children isn't what makes you a piece of shit. Your attitude that disparages other people who decide to help suffering children is what makes you a piece of shit. Your general lack of empathy for human suffering makes you a piece of shit. Whatever lineage or DNA that spawned a hunk of shit like you deserves to be burned from the earth.
>end your own lineage if you want
How am I needing to explain for the second time in this thread that people with siblings exist?

I think its stupid to raise other peoples children when the consequence is that you end your own blood line in the process.

if you're barren or the bearer of a genetic defect and you want to raise other peoples children then look to your immediate family first, and extended family second. Then if you can not find blood related children to help raise, then and only then would I agree its okay to raise the children of others.

its a selfish way of looking at the world. But that is the way i see it. Your family comes first, always, without exception.

You "muh lineage" fags are exhausting. My parents had me and my sister and adopted my two brothers. You don't need to "end your lineage" to not be a piece of shit, user. The two aren't mutually exclusive. I think you're just using this "muh lineage" shit as an excuse to cover the fact that you're just an asshole that doesn't care about other human beings.

Jow Forums plz

What you think is stupid is irrelevant. Your sense of morality is completely antiquated and has no place in modern society. Again, for the third time, it isn't your decision to not raise other people's kids that makes you a hunk of shit but your insistence and insulting anybody who chooses to do so. Like I said, do the world a favor and end your bloodline as soon as possible. The world doesn't need more people like you.

no one is going to pay to have a fuck boy sit at home and raise adopted nigger babies

>anyone who doesnt commit genetic suicide to raise adopted nigger babies is a monster piece of shit

please kys

they dont even need to because they're literally wiping themselves out of history by doing that lol

how did you come to the conclusion that your ancestry and family lineage isnt something worth being proud of? You were raised with questionable values if you dont see your own line as something worth preserving.

I SO wish I was you. Just a fat 26 year old who has a mountain to climb before I can get anyone half as good as you can girl.

Just get as fit as possible, read more, don’t sleep around but DATE, find a good man with a big heart and wallet. Don’t be afraid to go older (10-20 years) BE a good woman in return.. it’s so so easy to do this when you’re just legal and have time like that.

Me.. I’m fighting crippling despair.. nobody told me anything about anything at your age and now it’s just too late, but you can definitely avoid this