I was in a relationship for close to seven years, from 2007 through the March of 2014. He was the love of my life and the person I thought I would get married to, but he turned out to have commitment issues and dumped me after I raised the idea of marriage one too many times.
I'm 26 and have been in eight relationships the past four and a half years, but I haven't been in love with any of them. I think I could have fallen for some of them were my heart not already filled with my first love and the man I was sure I would marry, but... it is. I was able to delude myself the first three or four times that the relationships had potential, but I can no longer do even that. Aside from relationships I have been on dates with about two dozen guys the past several years, but felt nothing for any of them.
I'm starting to accept my destiny as a crazy cat lady. There was only one person for me, and he's gone. I just want to know ways to have a fulfilling life even outside a relationship.
Are you smart? Get into academics. Same thing happened to me and I could only find meaning in life in an academic field.
Cameron Rivera
I'm pretty intelligent; I was in the top 20 of my graduating class in college. My EQ could probably use some work, though. I pumped and dumped a few guys at the midpoint of my "trying to find a new soulmate" process, hoping that sex could unlock the feelings of love that I seemed unable to reclaim ever since my first boyfriend left me. My mom was really angry and disappointed in me when I told her about that.
Sebastian Hernandez
...
Landon Cox
What you might have is either: 1. lacking closure -> Go see a counselor/psych. 2. broken hearted -> Go see a counselor/psych. 3. bad luck -> go on more dates until you find a guy you click with.
Joshua Wright
Cats are gay. They shit everywhere and make your home stink.
I've been in an 8 year relationship. After seeing a handful of chicks I sort of worked out that I was comparing relationships and hadn't really let go of a lot of bullshit from that 8 year thing. A lot of that meant I kept hoping/thinking I might be in for a wild ride filled with love and hyped my expectations without giving it a real chance. Alternatively sometimes it meant I put up with some real arseholes thinking all relationships had love in them somewhere.
In a nutshell, be comfortable being you, yourself, and not having an other - that's the ideal time to look for a partner and you'll have an attractive confidence to boot.
Of all the things I've been attracted to in a chick, self-confidence has always been the biggest boner driver. - Shakespeare
Hunter Phillips
We're about the same age with about the same body count and history (Male)
My longest relationship was my first too and she wanted to do grad school and live a little so she broke up with me. She was the only girl to this day that I had 'The Classic Romance' with. Organically meet and hit it off. Just out of a movie perfect. My life was at its peak then and I was doing well and it's the only relationship I can think of that I can compare to what I see with others on Social Media, or Sitcoms or corny movies like Perks of Being a Wallflower.
After that I have had relationships and can say that they were not up to par- not even close to normal and stable.
However, I can say I have had two more 'Loves'
The first I met in a Psych Ward after I checked myself in. It seemed like Fate and we kissed there and became a couple and I was with her when she graduated college and stuff. Can't not love 'Fate'. However, Her life was the normal and stable one. After we lived together- I just couldn't lead. I was too broke. We both worked and got a lease for a new apartment, and I was shopping for rings, but she lost her job so she just moved back with her parents for stability. I still think my 'Fate' love trumps my long and stable first love even though it was half as long. However, I only say that because it was a very emotional relationship. My first love I have no emotions for- and that's actually an amazing and weird thing, because I can be completely impartial with her, but not with the second- I just get flustered.
(pt.1)
Hunter Flores
The third was the one that got away. In all my relationships I play the hero. I save the girl. She needs me. I help her. This girl was from my home area which is more conservative and all this sweet little angel wanted to do was help me achieve my dreams while I helped her achieve hers. I helped her with lines for plays and she helped me write. The only girl I've ever met that actually helped ME. It was complimentary and she broke up with me because I still wasn't over my second love.
This girl still helps me in the way that she is still pursuing her dreams and I'm welcome to join in- as a friend if our paths ever wanted to cross again ( She lives with her now long time partner now so theirs no hope for me)
I didn't even realize how stupid I was until a few years of nothing by dark experiences made me see the only light of innocence and purity I have about love left- Somebody that wants to compliment you may not be a movie star or a star crossed flame, but the plain Jane for a plain Jack.
It's been a few years since I've felt love, but at least I have an idea of what I am looking for and I'm sure I'll find it since it's not 'the love of my life' or my 'twin flame', but a girl that reminds me of just enjoying what I am doing with her and not 'her'.
For my Fourth I've made sure I'm emotionally free of past emotions because I'm just asking God for one I can just eat subway with and enjoy her company. I don't think that's too much to ask.
And besides Four Leaf Clovers are Lucky
(pt.2)
I hope my feelings on love might have made you think OP
Bentley White
I had this for a girl I knew in high school blew many opportunities with cute and nice girls because she was all I could think about just have the nervous breakdown and spend a day crying alone in bed, that is what did it for me
Is this the long relationship ending thread for the board? I also recently got out of a 7.5 year long relation, though I was the one that ended it.
Luke Phillips
Yeah dude, post your feels if you feel like it or give advice to OP.
I'm feeling a bit narcissistic after nobody replied to my long posts
Tyler Hall
It hurts man, and it was recent too, less than a month ago. Shared an apartment and everything. I broke it off because I'm not happy about who I am, have suicidal thoughts, fear people yet appear completely normal. Things needed to end though, I need to focus on myself and getting better. I have remorse and guilt for hurting her though and not communicating my intention to break up, instead of dropping it like a bombshell. She was completely caught off guard and it pains me to this moment thinking about the realization not quite getting to her, then crying profusely...she is also quite emotional. But it really is for the better, for both of us, and only I can help me. Focusing on a relationship that was becoming increasingly deep and committed contributed to my own problems of self-loathing (why can't I just love another person and forget about me, just as long as I'm there for her that's all that matters). I need to work on loving myself and accepting who I am before I can love another person.
Ethan Lewis
If it helps my FLCL philosophy is to not worry about starting a family until I am 40 and doing just that. I'll be a better dad and husband then. I am just not ready now.
I feel for her though- she doesn't have the luxury you did. She's gonna be broken and it would be a recovery for her to get a second chance- She gave her beauty to you after all.
I think you owe it to her to keep her updated on your progress and let her know why you did what you did and that you have you're solid reasons.
It doesn't sound like the final chapter in that story just yet.
Josiah Butler
I liked your posts and appreciated the effort that came in writing them, but it's hard for me to relate when I've never been in a relationship at 27. The last couple months have been me realizing that it likely just won't happen at this point as I don't have the willpower to try anymore. I can't say much about you finding love again, but I hope you feel better now than back during your psych ward days !
There's a long hard road ahead of you, and soon enough you'll look back and realize the memory of the pain has mostly faded as you've moved on and hopefully become a better person.
>26 >There was only one person for me, and he's gone. You sure you didn't get your age wrong? This sounds like something a childish 16 year old would say.
>I'm pretty intelligent >hoping that sex could unlock the feelings of love Do try comedy.
Jaxson Harris
Thanks, if you can learn anything from the stories you read it's that young love doesn't match with today's world. It's real rare now and chasing it has got me valuable experience, but plenty of pain. There's not too much to envy about the state I am at now at all from that experience. I had moments of bliss, but i might as well be imagining them just like you do for your own romantic fantasies- an outsider.
And thank you! I have learned to manage my mind much better with time. Far from perfect tho
Logan Reyes
Before Socrates died he said that the examined life was not worth living as the Greek court order him to either stop going around Athens corrupting the youth or they would make him drink hemlock. Even given the chance to escape, he choice to face his death refusing to break with what the authorities wanted him to do. There is almost literally an infinite bank of knowledge out there, mostly garbage as it relates to you but much still worth learning to bring personal enlightenment. Personal study is something I take great pleasure in and having the opportunity to relate some of it to others goes a long way in boosting my confidence, even if for short bursts. But really it's just having the time to myself to sit around and read, stare at a wall and think, I find that (mostly) fulfilling.
Jacob Butler
I've contacted her to meet and talk. We've done this twice. The first time it was her (understandably) venting while I remained silent. I took the classic asshole self-deprecation path, telling her it's okay to hate me. Essentially I just came off as uncaring and disingenuous. I thought not sharing in her emotion would be better for her grieving. The second time I opened the fuck up. Told her about my fucked up childhood (which she knew) still having an effect on me, the self-loathing, and so on. Cried in public. It wasn't a good scene. She comforted me, which was upsetting and later angered me that I broke up with her. That time was more productive. But I sticking with this. I seriously need to be alone and not be with someone I care about. She knew that I got down on myself but would never know what to say, of course not. Any way I'm going to see a therapist and open up to my family about some deep dark things. I appreciate the words of encouragement but things had to end and there's no going back now.
Gavin Gutierrez
Good Luck on your recovery user
With such a large sacrifice I'm confident you will succeed.
Owen Brooks
Thanks user. I was thinking about turning this into a thread myself but then happened upon this one. Sorry to take away from OP's issue. I think they have some great things going for them, cats are pretty great after all.
David Martin
You gotta do 2 things: >Learn to forgive and accept what happened and your present situation. >Learn what apparently became my motto on this board: Love is a house you build, not a flu you get.
Do reply to me to get more details about those two. I'm kinda tired so I'll just write this if there's interest.
Nathaniel Martinez
did you have sex with all of those people?
Hudson Fisher
not op but please write it.
>I feel for her though- she doesn't have the luxury you did. She's gonna be broken and it would be a recovery for her to get a second chance- She gave her beauty to you after all. >I think you owe it to her to keep her updated on your progress and let her know why you did what you did and that you have you're solid reasons. >It doesn't sound like the final chapter in that story just yet. >With such a large sacrifice I'm confident you will succeed. this hits like a knife, and the cavalier nonchalance with which i've only ever seen it talked about is like twisting the knife. why is this okay? i don't understand how doing this to a person even could be okay, much less why it apparently actually is. the solid reasons had for making the sacrifice don't retain their solidity when you /are/ the sacrifice. there's no help, there's no hope, and i need to understand why this is okay because viewing it as acceptable would only be fucking myself up worse and i cannot absorb another fall right now.
Caleb Johnson
>cavalier nonchalance Jesus, you a poet? I didn't undertand half your post because you write like goddamn Shakespear. Sorry if this isn't answering your question, but I will expand on the topics.
First, accepting. From what I got of her story, she had a bad relationship that is over now but can't quite close the book. This is fortunate because it's much simpler to ease your heart when you are out of the storm rather than under it. This is actually a meditation technique. Calm all your thoughts anyway you can, don't rush it. Imagine a ball in front of you. Convince your mind that that ball contains every little part of that relationship, everything. Once you feel all it's weight, say this out loud and meaning it. "Ok." The spirit behind such a short word is one of acceptance. "This happened, it's part of me, and I love me. Therefore I love myself enough to not reject any part of me." From there on, just let it go.
cont.
Jayden Brown
Second, the loving house. I really should make it into an image macro of this because I tell this to a stupid number of threads here. Always helps.
People seem to percieve love as something that should happen to them rather than they happening to it. I'll repeat the phrase since it's so efficient to undertand: "Love isn't a flu you get, it's a house you build". Instead of jumping from person to person, try searching for one you think would be a kick ass roommate and start laying those bricks. Each brick is a shared experience with that person. So ask people out, be fun, enjoy the moment toghether. Make some quality bricks. See if the house goes up the way you find nice and comfy.
Parker Hall
I didn't have sex with the first three. I slept with the latter five, thinking that kind of physical intimacy might lead to romantic feelings.
I'm starting to wonder if there's anyone I click with. I've dated pretty much every kind of person and character imaginable. Jocks, artists, mentally healthy people who want to take care of me, mentally ill guys who want a mommy gf, rich guys, poor guys. None of them break through the barrier of platonic affection for me.
Wyatt Carter
How about dreams and aspirations you admire instead of something superficial like height.
Blake Reyes
marriage of any kind is a sham, basically imagine working for 20 years then your wife is a whore and gets 80% of your stuff because lul
Leo Morgan
Truth Hurts
Gotta hear it to get complete catharsis- sooner the better.
Grayson Bennett
Also if it makes you feel better in those words I was talking to the guy and I never heard the girls story to support her.
Justin Thomas
Sounds like your telling OP to be what you hate so vehemently.
Fool
Gabriel Butler
When did I mention anything about height...?
Sebastian Parker
It's just as superficial as everything else you listed and was a hyperbolic answer to get your attention as to how absurd your criteria was
Love is between souls. Business is between identities
Christopher Smith
And none of their souls have ever managed to touch mine.
Logan Thompson
Hi.
Bentley Long
Look, I don't know what you want in a partner and from the sound of it neither do you
ReadHe was in a dark place for years before he figured out what he wanted and now he has the peace you desire.
At least you can work with finding somebody with the traits you liked most in your first love to hold you by.
Ryder Gray
I lied to you cause I'm really the one that wrote that and I'll just say
1. It's cute that you are stubbornly attached to your first love and cuter that you wanted to marry. Love number 2 did the same for me and I was thrilled she was on the same page as me. I'm sorry he wasn't- he's baka 2. Take some me time. You've become a Serial-Monogamist of the worst kind and are already feeling the bad karma. Spend some me time and build some 'virgin hops' by actually going through a celibacy period so you have some fresh emotions to give to your new partner. 3. You should email me and I'll be your penpal
: )
Cause why the hell not, I want a female Jow Forums penpal
Carter Robinson
Cuck.
Isaiah Adams
See ya later Virgins
Jaxson Anderson
...
Kayden Foster
Cats do not shit everywhere. Why lie on cats that way?
Jeremiah Perez
Sent : )
Best Fucking Thread I've been apart of in my over a Dozen years on this site. Swag
Jordan Wilson
I figured this out at 19 lady. The key to living a happy life single and or isolated is shitposting online and irl. Seriously just treat life as an enormous joke and you'll feel 1000 times better.
Luis Lewis
Didn't I already give you it? Get into academics. That's what personally worked for me
Daniel Parker
>Cats are gay best advice in the history of Jow Forums seriously
