Talking to girls for noobs

>I really like this girl.

You barely know her. And as I said, either she likes you, or she doesn't. You can't make her like you.

>Im just a little nervous bcause she’s really pretty and Im just a skinny geeky IT technician.

You need some self-esteem, my dude. Dating won't fill the hole you have in your chest.

>What does that mean tho

What does what mean? Treating people like people?

Ask her questions about herself. Listen to what she's saying and ask her to elaborate on interesting parts. Look in her eyes. Show romantic interest. Don't try to impress, just try to relax and have fun.

>How do i get her to like me?
bad perspective. this kills the relationship.

Change your frame of mind into "how can I be likable?"

If other people like you a lot, then she will too. Just be a great guy in general, 24/7, and girls will follow. Women are hardwired and more advanced than us in seeing the value in others. You'll never be able to fake it.

>Change your frame of mind into "how can I be likable?"

That's impossible. Every person wants and likes different stuff. You can't just be "likable".

>Women are hardwired and more advanced than us in seeing the value in others

Oh, do you really believe in "value"? Please, don't push your crap on OP. The last thing he needs is to try and emulate your arbitrary scale.

I don't think many girls like you ;)

>Value doesn't exist

That's why we treat homeless people the same as celebrities, right?

Chasing the holy grail of being "likable" is dumb. The best you can hope for is not being awful, and even then you can get laid.

And for the homeless/celebrity example, the point is money. If you have money people are nice to you so they get stuff and benefits out of you. The homeless dude with the only can of beans is going to be more popular than the others, but that doesn't account for intrinsic value. The only value he has is a can of beans.

People provide value by having skills, giving good advice, being positive, providing emotional support, having a good nature, being smart, being strong, being popular, and all sorts of other things. It isn't just money.

This

What is "value" to you? How do you measure it? I mean, you put "being popular" in the list, so that's not a measure of value, it's just a part of value.

How do you say someone has value and someone else doesn't?

Value is subjective but we all know that, generally speaking, certain traits attract other traits. If you're a fucking dumpster person you'll attract other dumpster people. If you're positive and uplifting you'll attract other positive and uplifting people. Value should be measured solely by who you want to be and the kind of people you want to be surrounded by. If you want to be valued by kind, thoughtful, empathetic and intelligent women then try being kind, thoughtful, empathetic and intelligent.

>By the way, girls are people, you talk to them as people.

Pfft just fuck off with this bullshit.

This is totally different to what you said here: You don't need to ask to be "likable" because you admit dumpster people still attract people, still get laid, etc. etc.

>Just be a great guy in general, 24/7, and girls will follow.

Again, that has nothing to do with this. You can be a not great person and still get girls.

That's why I called you out on "value".

>Value is subjective

Yeah. Putting on a persona all day won't help OP get laid/have people like him. That was my point from the very beginning. You can be awful and liked. It's about finding people that buy what you are selling.

>This is totally different to what you said here
I'm not the same poster
>Yeah. Putting on a persona all day won't help OP get laid/have people like him.
You misunderstand my post. Yes, even terrible people can attract other people but it isn't like tossing a baited hook into the water. You actually have to put yourself into a position where you can attract these people. Being a dumpster person will attract more people in a county jail than it will at a local library. Striving to be a decent person isn't and shouldn't be a persona. I don't see the benefit in discouraging people from striving to be a decent person just because they can still get laid being an asshole.

OP got a date and is worried sick about it. At this point it's not about being a good person or not, it's about not setting up a "likable" standard that OP has to strive for.

He needs to understand that dating is about putting yourself out there and being accepted or rejected based on what you are, not trying to become someone else to be liked.

If you are not the same guy, have you at least read the OP? Do you understand why that advice I was talking about is bad for OP?

Yes, yes
I treat people like advanced chatbots.

Being a decent person is not a "likable" standard. Its a very simple, straight forward state of being that has the highest chance of bringing him success. You seem to have this idea that self-improvement is some kind of act or persona and it isn't. Just because someone has a negative trait or lacks in certain areas doesn't mean that striving to change it and/or improve it makes you fake. If OP wants the date to go well then he should talk with her like a human being, listen to what she has to say, get to know her, be kind, courteous, thoughtful and respectful.

Do you think they enjoy that?

>Being a decent person is not a "likable" standard.

Dude, read the OP and read this This person is telling OP "Act this way to be liked and have girls come after you".

Do you think OP needs to hear that right now? Please, tell me if you think that's useful advice for OP's situation.

OP already has a girl, he already has a date. What he needs is to be comfortable enough to actually go on that date without feeling like he is being put to a test.

I dont let them catch on. I have plenty of stock dialogue trees to use.

That's not an answer to my question. Do you think people enjoy spending time talking to you?

Most people find me to be highly agreeable and amicable to talk to. This is by design.

Do they *enjoy* spending time with you or are they just passing by with a transaction-like interaction? This is not a hard question, and the fact that you keep saying a lot of words to not answer it is more than informative.

You know people tolerate you, but don't enjoy you.

I'm just getting through the day, yes.

Well, people that date are not just "getting through the day", so I guess you won't be dating or anything anytime soon.

Also, whatever pleasure you get out of not answering the question I hope is enough to sustain you. Is it really a power play to you to dodge a straight answer? Pathetic.

Being popular means you can introduce people to new contacts, which can help them find a new mate, a new job, etc. How is that not valuable?

Ok, so you just meant "connected" not "liked". Then I ask again, what is "value"? How do you say someone has more value than someone else? How do you measure it? What's worth more: skills, being positive, or having money?

Define "value" to me, please, if you can.

Dodge what

>Talk to them like people, but not the way you talk to most people
How are you supposed to talk to them, then

Some people are more people than others. He is saying you can't treat women like men, but trying his hardest to not make it sexist. It is sexist.

She already agreed to a date with you, so go, talk, laugh, be yourself. Either she likes it or she doesn't. Don't take rejection personally. It's not your fault if she isn't into you.

find out what htey are interested in, if you have interests in common, talk about those interests. if you have no interests in common you would not make a good couple anyway. Also, try to be funny but not in a way that mocks anyone, unless she does that.

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You're being purposefully obtuse, user. You keep widening the scope of your definitions to ignore the obvious subtext of what is being said. Generally speaking, the ability to easily access relationships is something that people want so, generally speaking, it is valuable. Generally speaking, being around people that make them feel good is something people want so, generally speaking, being a positive person is valuable. Of course, there are outliers. There are exceptions to every rule but stop pretending like you don't understand the common sense definition of the term "valuable". You're being needlessly abstract and existential here in a context that doesn't require it. We're not trying to objectively measure and compare the value of two people or put a metric to certain character traits. All we're doing is using common sense to describe a fairly accessible and successful social archetype. This isn't a math equation.

What's more important: Being good or having connections? Because the post I originally replied to said that being "great 24/7" would make girls pop out into OP's life, even though OP wasn't asking for that, he just wanted advice on his date.

Are you really defending the guy that gave random advice and that, by your own words, you wouldn't agree with?

>What's more important: Being good or having connections?
Can you read? There is no objective measurement. Whichever one is more applicable to you and what you want in your life is the one that is more valuable. I don't know if you realize this but different people have different goals and priorities. Stop referring to the post at the beginning of the thread. We're not talking about that anymore. You've said many things since that initial reply and that is what I'm referring to. I'm not here to defend the opinions of some user made 30 posts ago I'm responding to the things you've said in this specific conversation.

Everything I said was to show why setting up a standard for OP was bad. I know there's no objective measure of "value", that's why I mock someone using it.

If your only problem are my rhetorical questions, then you have no problem with me. the questions were there to show the absurdity of the original post. But we are not talking about that anymore.

being highly agreeable isn't going to get you laid. Girls are looking for someone who isn't afraid to challenge and tease them but isn't just a douchebag.

>Everything I said was to show why setting up a standard for OP was bad
So you've spent the last 15 posts nonsensically arguing with completely separate anons who were making completely separate points for the sole purpose of mocking one post that one user made at the very beginning of the thread?