I'm in a bit of a predicament. Grew up in an EXTREMELY physically and mentally abusive household, saw so much fucked up shit and had fucked up shit done to me. Barely made it to 18. On anti depressants since age 12. Went to uni with big dreams, course wasn't what I thought and I ended up dropping out. Family disowned me for this. I totally spun off the rails, no family, boyfriend was mentally abusive (didn't realise at the time.) I then got diagnosed as autistic age 23. I'm now 25, have healed a lot and got put on amazing new meds. The problem is, I'm starting to "wake up" and the reality of my situation is hitting me hard. I'm 25 with no money, no degree, no skills, one friend, on disability. What the fuck am I meant to do? How the fuck do I turn this around?
The thing is I am extremely book smart, I learn fast and am amazing at spotting small details in things and fixing them. So I know I could make it at something, somewhere. I just have no fucking idea where I start to turn this around. How do I cope with the sheer terror of my situation? Finally seeing just how bad my life has been and how it is? How do I grow past it? I'm 25 and I feel so old already, with no skills.
I would abstain from describing yourself as smart when you're having trouble figuring out a basic direction in life.
That being said, why not start small and go back to school? You seemed to gloss over why exactly you stopped which is incredibly shady (don't worry I took your entire story with a hefty grain of salt). You might also want to look into getting a part time job to support yourself while you're in school. Better late than never as they say.
I'll withhold my pessimism until after you've replied.
Carson Nguyen
just get married and have a couple kids and be a stay at home mom.
John Perez
Isn't 25 too old to go back to school? I did not gloss over why I stopped. I said the course wasn't what it was described as. I did a tv production degree that turned out to be a funnel to get bodies into one specific large (and horrible to work for) broadcasting company. 75% of all people who went on this course dropped out before the end because of this, its actually infamous in the industry now for how misleading it is. This type of behaviour made me realise the industry wasn't for me either. I could make my OP 4000 characters long and go into depth about every single detail but what would be the point?!
Who the hell would want to marry a woman like me? Autistic, traumatised past, (currently) no earning potential.
Christian Allen
>Who the hell would want to marry a woman like me? its a short list of things you have to do to be a good wife 1) dont fuck other guys 2) keep the house clean 3) take care of the kids 4) cook food for everyone 5) do the sexy stuff your husband wants
thats it. if you can check those boxes you're the kind of wife i wish my wife was like.
Dylan Rodriguez
I could never marry some random ass guy I'm not in love with just for an easy ride. I will never meet someone I want if I do not grow.
Anthony Nguyen
its not even an easy ride, really. all that stuff takes work and dedication. Also you wouldnt not love the guy. also there is a timer on you, at 25 you're at the tail end of your viability as a stay at home wife type. by the time you hit 30 no one would even consider you as a partner for that sort of life.
Grayson Rivera
Lots of guys and girls out there like you. Personally am 21m, probable autism, no skills, few friends. If you're smart you could start learning code, places like codeacademy or kaggle are pretty good free resources (although useless for finding a job if you don't commit fully), there are tons of companies out there hiring pretty much anyone who can code. Based and redpilled, so long as OP is a 5+ she could legit find a good guy to fall for who could help her
Anthony Sullivan
How you feel defeated by knowing you're in a spot where you need to get shit together rather than taking it one step at a time and refusing to become a victim of your conditions/labels until you're in a better place is perhaps your single most unattractive trait you've expressed in this thread. I think you'll turn out just fine since going through long periods of extreme hardship make simple every day common shit easier to deal with, but you have to put the work into yourself through your career, activities, and environment in order to make it happen.
Jeremiah Clark
Meant for
Jace Hall
I thought about coding before! That sounds like it could be up my ally. Thanks
Idk man, I feel weird putting my life in someone else's hands after what I saw in my child hood if I'm being honest. I was essentially a stay at home wife to my ex (he requested it) and I almost ended up homeless when I left after he started verbally berating me on a daily basis. He also knew he had me and would forbid me from having friends. When I tried to make money from home and it got too successful he'd pay me to stop. When I got upset he'd say "well I've paid you to stop doing it, you still get paid, whats the problem?"
Levi King
>my ex then get a job and work like everyone else does
David Barnes
Thank you for your honest feedback. I do see what you mean. I have been clinging to my labels and past a lot, and it is apparent reading this back. I guess I need to focus on steps and the growth I'll get from taking them, rather than just letting my mind run while. I guess this is part of the growth too, to learn to take back my own mind
William Anderson
I've been completely detached from reality for a long time, my doctors check in with me on a weekly basis due to how high risk I was. I was completely unable to work. As I said, its only now I am reaching the stage where I can think about taking the leap into real life
Asher Walker
>What the fuck am I meant to do? What ever the fuck you want. >Isn't 25 too old to go back to school? No it's not. As for you complains about lack of skills, surely there is something you enjoy and surely some of it requires skills that can be useful for other stuff too. >Autistic You appear functional enough. >traumatised past So what assuming you learned to deal with it? >(currently) no earning potential How many people focus on that when picking a partner?
Who the fuck would want a life like that?
Tyler Sanchez
>Who the fuck would want a life like that? apparently a lot of people
Luis Wright
What I'm saying is the opposite of hit the life long investment easy button, I'm saying you clearly know you're in a disadvantageous spot, are intelligent, and are unhappy with the present state of things. I would worry less about how you feel about your appeal as a individual with experiences in the moment as it's likely reflecting your environment and not going to be as positive as it should/could be, and more about getting to a state of being you'd like to be in. I'd recommend you look into a paid apprenticeship through a .gov resource if possible and reach a point of firm financial security so you have more resources available to work on yourself through therapy and having positive experiences such as going to events you look forward to, making friends along the way and discovering new hobbies.
Henry Diaz
A child who doesn't even know how do to fulfil such a basic wish, doesn't seem like the greatest representation for that lifestyle.
Robert Rogers
Nothing good can ever come from spiralling down a self-deprecating defeatist mindset. You've gotta look out for yourself when it comes to your mindset and outlook because noone can quite take care of yourself on a day to day mindfully active basis in that manner quite like you yourself can.
Adrian Foster
you're grossly overestimating the prerequisite aptitude and skills necessary to accomplish that list of minimum qualifications.
Kevin Clark
Doubtful.
Brody Anderson
>I've been completely detached from reality for a long time welcome back >doctors check in with me on a weekly basis due to how high risk I was risk of what? Suicide? >I was completely unable to work. says who? are you sure you werent just making up excuses? working isnt that hard. >I am reaching the stage where I can think about taking the leap into real life nice story. I think you should probably just get on with your life, get a job, and start taking care of yourself.
Jason Baker
Yes, risk of suicide and severely damaging myself. I went through a large period of running in front of cars. My mind really wasn't on Earth at all. I have autism and therefore a sensory disorder, a car driving past me sounds like a jet engine. It is medically recognised as a disability. My experience of the world is not the same as yours, and many simple small things you don't think twice about stand out to me. Just going out to get some dead end job isn't a long term solution, and my doctors would probably beg me not to do that. As another user said, I need small steps. The last time I decided to "just go out and get a job" it ended 2 weeks later with me slicing into my arms with a key in front of the entire office and me being admitted to hospital shortly after. I have to be sensible and careful.
Lucas Wilson
>Yes, risk of suicide and severely damaging myself. I went through a large period of running in front of cars. My mind really wasn't on Earth at all. but you're past that now >I have autism and therefore a sensory disorder, a car driving past me sounds like a jet engine. It is medically recognised as a disability. My experience of the world is not the same as yours, and many simple small things you don't think twice about stand out to me. everyone has things they can use as excuses if they want to >Just going out to get some dead end job isn't a long term solution, and my doctors would probably beg me not to do that. Why? you dont have any qualifications or work history so thats where you should start. >I need small steps you need bold action and firm resolve >The last time I decided to "just go out and get a job" it ended 2 weeks later with me slicing into my arms with a key in front of the entire office and me being admitted to hospital shortly after. thats in the past, you're beyond that now >I have to be sensible and careful. so does everyone. welcome to adult life.
There is no age limit on school, there is however a price tag and debt you cannot discharge in bankruptcy.
I'd love to have a woman like that. My greatest romantic fantasy is rescuing a young woman from an abusive or neglectful home, and give her a loving home that she's never had before. I'd be her hero and her provider, I'd be special. I'm functionally autistic as well and to a normal woman I feel like I'd be a burden. I don't want to be a burden, I want to be the one who bears burdens.
Owen Richardson
autism is a pretty bad handicap. it sounds like you have some issues being productive, too.
when it comes to the shitty relationships stemming from your childhood of abuse, just make sure not to become the abuser. that’s step one. step two is to become your own advocate, basically, deciding to stick up for yourself and not accept abuse or aggressive manipulation from anyone.
you could probably use a psychotherapist and an occupational therapist. the state offers these things if you can’t afford it, and so does charity. the type of help state funding will get you is somewhat limited, though. the best and most efficient services go to people who make money and know how to manage it.
