How to deal with the fact that she doesn't want you, never has, is already taken and that it's going to be a long time...

how to deal with the fact that she doesn't want you, never has, is already taken and that it's going to be a long time, if ever, before you can experience the happiness that you thought was going to be yours for the first time but slipped away?

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Leave the dungeon, go outside, and start talking to other human beings.

I've been doing this. I'm very social. It doesn't work

Bumping this thread.

Not OP, I'm trying to get over it for a full year now. No matter what I do, at the end of the day the fact that she won't ever want hits the surface.

;_;

Are you still in contact with her?

I deal with it by finding someone else

what do you do in the meantime

I was never in a contact with her outside of workspace. She was a business acquaintance I occasionally visited, very kind and pleasant, I genuinely enjoyed her since I rarely meet a woman my age that I find pleasant (we're both early 30s). I probably misread her and thought she was into me and tried to approach her (didn't call her on a date, but rather a semi-formal coffee), it ended up not only her rejecting me but completely changing her attitude towards me. She now addresses me formally, always avoids eye contact and most of time won't even return a greet. This lasts for a full year now, I get to visit her once a month and every time her coldness and dismissiveness wounds me. I try not to think of her, but no matter how I spend my day, she surfaces in my thoughts sooner or later. Why can't Iet go of a person that straight up disrespects me by not returning a greet?

Two key words; romanticizing and fixating. Your obsessions have essentially put blinders on your vision, avoiding you from even contemplating the possibility that happiness could come from anybody else. You've convinced yourself that this person holds the key to unlocking your happiness and I'm sure the both of you understand on some level that this is very much so wishful thinking. Along with this fixation you've managed to romanticize these people beyond belief. Again, you think this person holds the key to curing you of your misery and feelings of worthlessness but you fail to see that if you don't address those issues head on they will persist regardless of who you're with. You're stuck in a period of time mourning one great loss and ignoring the roads and opportunities that lie ahead; ignoring the fact that life and time and people have moved on while you are firmly planted in this one memory replaying its devastation over and over in your head. If depression and an inability to properly process loss is a persistent issue then its something you need help for and it has nothing to do with the women you can't have. These women aren't the solutions to your problems. These women merely reflect the things that you already hate about yourself.

>Why can't Iet go of a person that straight up disrespects me by not returning a greet?
She didn't disrespect you. You became fixated on someone you knew absolutely nothing about and when she noticed she rightly distanced herself from you and adjusted her behavior to communicate to you something you should have known to begin with; that your relationship was purely professional. I think you need to seek some professional help. Nothing you've described sounds healthy in the slightest. You're completely infatuated over someone you don't know. That borders on delusion, user.