How do I get over the feeling for love over a girl who is taken?

There is this girl in my Calculus 2 class. She is Vietnamese and extremely traditional and conservative in her personality. I have a hard time talking to women to begin with, but she talks to me over IM, and every day before and after class. She wanted me to tutor her (despite me being extremely bad at mathematics), and I have developed a massive crush on her.

The problem with this is, she has a boyfriend she had for 7 years, and I had no choice but to be be "friendzoned" (and she tells me that he never wants to marry her). I never had a girlfriend before (at 28 years old no less, and being rejected by every last girl I ask out on a date), but I can't stop thinking about her, knowing in my heart I want to date her, but my brain keeps telling me to just remain friends with her.

I know that the only way I could truly seek help for this is to simply tell her my situation myself, but I do not want her to be hurt, or to hurt her boyfriend at all. I love her, but I want her to feel happy more than I want to be happy myself. She is perhaps the only girl in years who actually wanted to talk to me, and get to know me in any way.

What should I do?

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>She is perhaps the only girl in years who actually wanted to talk to me, and get to know me in any way.

Well op this is your problem right here.

Can you try to improve your social skills and get to know other girls too?

I can't.

I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome when I was 10 (and I obviously didn't know what it was back then), and actually attempting to me sociable made everyone uncomfortable.

I try to act normally, but I feel like I am a robot, and attempting to actually be normal, but something isn't quite right. If girls were actually trying to give me hints that they didn't want to speak to me, I never got any of them until they outright told me. The inverse is true, as if there were to be any girl who had a crush on me, I never knew about it, and was never told about it.

I highly doubt any self-respecting girl would want to date an autistic man anyway (and dating another autistic girl would not exactly be preferable in my situation).

>I know that the only way I could truly seek help for this is to simply tell her my situation myself, but I do not want her to be hurt, or to hurt her boyfriend at all. I love her, but I want her to feel happy more than I want to be happy myself. She is perhaps the only girl in years who actually wanted to talk to me, and get to know me in any way.
no, just sex her. she has a friend, she wants the D.

I am completely serious.

I don't even want to have sex with her (as I don't want premarital sex whatsoever). It's just that I love her when I shouldn't, and I want to just over this feeling.

She is everything I would want in a girl, but at the same time, I don't want her because she is dating some other guy. I want her to be my girlfriend, but at the same time, I don't.

How do I tell her about my situation without making her feel upset, uncomfortable, or hating me?

At this point you can't unless she tells you first.

What do you mean by that exactly?

That sucks dude but please don't raise your own expectations for her to dump her BF of 7 years. You and I both know that ain't happening.

It's gonna suck but at least you know that you can connect with someone on an emotional level. Take it as a learning experience and move on. As long as you keep your options open, which is largely a factor of putting yourself in a position to have options, you'll come across some good ones.

>As long as you keep your options open, which is largely a factor of putting yourself in a position to have options, you'll come across some good ones.

She is the only girl in YEARS who actually wanted to talk to me and wanted to get to know me.

I won't meet any good ones ever again.

Should I attempt to use a dating site, or are they just data collecting scams that serve no purpose, other than having gold-diggers and single mothers force themselves onto desperate men?

bullshit. you've just been ignoring them or dissing them. go try to fuck this girl. go get your heart broken.

I found sending false love notes helps. I love when she finds out there fake. Best keke ever.

I am actually completely serious. I need help getting over her, since I will never be with her anyway.

You suffer from a unique problem. You probably don't exude the kind of confidence that women find attractive in western society. I had a friend just like you who was very confident but just could not show the right things to women.

Where do you live generally user.

I live in Massachusetts. The girl I mentioned is Vietnamese, and that might be a major factor as to why she doesn't hate me, or find me creepy.

For as far as I could tell, other than the fact that she has a boyfriend that's been with her for 7 years, I could not find a single thing wrong with her.

She probably has plenty wrong with her, she just hides it very well from prying eyes or has a good way of concealing faults.

You just need to think of her doing depraved things or her rebelling against her parents and then you will start to break down those mental associations you have put to her.

I also unironically think that maybe an intelligent black woman might fit your personality well. The cultural match would work well to make up for your deficiencies and you would be fighting downhill for the one's who could be interested in you.

Have you tried internet dating?

lmao you poor man. She has plenty wrong with her, she has her whole life of struggles and internal BS. They may not be the same problems you have, but they're definitely there. When you realize this the infatuation will ease up.

Tell your feelings to a therapist, you can unload the details of the situation to them and they can help you better than anons.

You can't find a single thing wrong with her because there is none. There's nothing wrong with any woman or man, some are just more suited to be in healthy relationships than others, and this particular woman has knowingly given you vibes that she's emotionally stable and virile. She knows she's just fucked with your head, and you let her because you're bored with your own partner. She's just using you and your words and concepts for attention.

I highly doubt that

I've been to therapy far too many times in the past.

I refuse to go back.

Guess who's not moving on then.

>What should I do?
Have you tried being yourself? More specifically, have you tried being yourself at the end of a rope?

Trust me when I say she doesn't. I even know her sister (who also has a boyfriend).

She is not messing with my mind. I am messing with my mind, which is why I want to detach my own feelings for her.

You're suffering from a case of the oneitis. Let go and move on before it consumes you. Your situation was EXACTLY like mine, and it wasn't fucking pretty.

What happened to you exactly?

I could use some more advice

>met a really nice and shy asian girl
>she actually made the effort to approach and talk to me
>Fell in love with her
>she rejects me because I had poor social skills
>I cut her out because I don't want to be friendzoned
>later got in a big fight with her
>I hate her and she hates me
>later evolved into a love-hate relationship (think Kylo and Rey)
>we later both confess our feelings
>a year later, on her birthday I bought her a cake
>she felt guilty and admit that she already has a bf when I present her my gift
>I was in denial, tried to pretend there was no other guy
>both of us carry on as usual
>the guilt slowly eats away at my conscience
>she starts showing her ugly, proud side
>tried to ignore her and find some other girl
>she goes nuclear
>now we're back to square one

Just ditch her. She is not worth your time.

The girl I like, it would be a MIRACLE if she left her boyfriend, and dated me, since she is completely open about everything that goes on in her life, with me. She even told me that I was the only reason why she didn't drop her class. I know she likes me, but I would like her to develop a crush on me.

I know that is never going to happen.

In a few weeks, I will confess to her that I do love her, but that I don't want to date her because she is still with her boyfriend. IF she understands me, and isn't hurt or feeling guilty, maybe she knows another girl she could set me up with.

I am just a mess. Part of me wants to be with her. The other part just wants to keep the friend-zone as to not harm her or anybody else in any way.

>There is this girl in my Calculus 2 class.
Go on...
>she has a boyfriend she had for 7 years
Yeah, thats when marriage starts to look inevitable.
>she tells me that he never wants to marry her
Which means she wants to marry him and has been willing to sit in a waiting pattern for years while he gets his shit together. Thats her level of commitment to this guy.
>I want to date her
Thats not terribly relevant.
>I know that the only way I could truly seek help for this is to simply tell her my situation myself,
If by "seek help" you mean "lose a friend because I'm incapable of respecting the relationships and boundaries of others" then yes.
>but I do not want her to be hurt
More like creeped out.
>or to hurt her boyfriend at all
More like angry.
> I love her
No, you're infatuated because she's
>the only girl in years who actually wanted to talk to me, and get to know me in any way

This is not about her, its about you. If you vale the friendship you'll respect the friendship instead of trying to use it as a wedge. If you don't, you'll either lose a friendship or lose a friendship and get your ass kicked.

You're right.

I am just really ignorant and stupid when it comes to relationships, considering that I never once been in one, ever. It's not like I would ever be in one, considering that I have literally no redeeming values, and that I am nothing more than a pathetic man who does nothing but gaming and refusing to leave college to find a career.

I am just hopeless, and I never will do anything of worth. At least I will never waste a girl's time or upset her by not being with her, or denying her a better guy to date. I guess I am just destined to be alone for the rest of my life, as I deserve to.

Guilt trips won't get you laid, man.

>In a few weeks, I will confess to her that I do love her, but that I don't want to date her because she is still with her boyfriend.

Sounds like a bad idea. Things will get awkward for both of you, and your friendship will be ruined.

How am I supposed to tell the truth to her?

Just how?

Hit the gym and vent out your feels by lifting. Do cardio so you'll be too tired to even think about her. Learn a hobby like painting, cooking or sketching, take classes on said hobbies, you might get to meet other girls who share similar interests.

Point is, get her out of your head.

Even if I do other hobbies, and there are girls there, what makes you think they would want ANYTHING to do with me?

Why is that the only girl who even wanted to get to know me, in a relationship with another guy for 7 years? It's like a cruel joke.

I'm just pathetic.

Learn to love yourself first and stop being so negative. It worked for an autist like me. Trust me, it'll work wonder.

Go ahead and make them uncomfortable.

There's this story I heard about a music teacher that was completely incapable of reading notes. When he taught students, wrong notes were not scolded, so long as the student kept their rhythm, so long as each gap in time which deserved a note was given one. This made it easier for his students to "feel" their way through the music the way he did.

So it is for a piano, so it is for socialization. Make those wrong moves. Make them often, just keep with the flow and tone of the discourse.

Amigo, te puedo recomendar dos cosas, una valer Berga, otra seguir adelante o plantar cara a tu dilema, si no avanza, otro avanzará antes que tú, tiene que animarte! Si no lo haces, nunca saldras de esa brubuja, suerte

I am not deluding myself into thinking I have any positive qualities about me

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