Hey Jow Forums Basically all my problems come from me not doing well in school (HS in the US). I'm pretty smart (144 iq tested a year or two ago) and my family is pretty well off financially but I get bad grades, because I procrastinate a ton and never do homework. Both my parents are very smart and successful, especially my dad who came from a poor background in India, went to us ivy leagues and has 4 masters so it's a lot to measure up to. I always put off my work, it piles the fuck up, and then I want to do it less and I end up failing a class each semester. I do have ADHD and I'm taking 30mg of Vyvanse right now but it's not helping a ton, I already tried focalin and Ritalin. My dad gets really angry whenever I do poorly, and I have extreme guilt and self-hatred built up over the years (since middle school pretty much). How do I break this cycle? I don't really do any homework when I get home because it's really hard to focus, especially because I get distracted by hobbies (linux, ochem). A lot of the time when there is something I know I HAVE to do for the next day I keep putting it off, and set an alarm in the morning to do it, which makes me up earlier but I still don't end up doing it! As a side note, I'm not socially retarded but I never do anything social, (last time was 6mo ago) and I'm pretty depressed in general. What do I do? I really want to go to a good college but it feels like it's getting harder every day I get a bad grade.
Well my mom's really pale white so idk if I qualify, not that brown
Jaxon Sanchez
wow is this one of those incredibly rare cases where an indian man actually got a white woman to show bobs and vegana?
Brandon Richardson
>bobs and vegana Kill yourself
Gabriel Butler
I mean I posted this looking for advice, but if you're gonna be racist at least be funny and creative.
Benjamin Morgan
Maybe you should work on your time management?
James Bennett
Any specifics? It's basically impossible to focus on anything I'm not interested for an extended period of time
Jayden Turner
develop discipline join the army if necessary
Tyler Barnes
Forgot to add that I tried to kill myself a free months ago, it was pretty late but I guess I was being too loud so my dad walked in. I was making hydrogen sulfide
Zachary Carter
Yeah i suggest using ADHD pills to focus yourself in class if that doesn't work i don't how to help you with that problem user
Ryder Bell
Last place I'd go is the army, planning on college right after hs and I'm really not the physical type
Juan Sanders
Thanks. I tried Ritalin when I was young, bad side effects. I tried focalin recently, didn't do much, switch to Vyvanse ~2 weeks ago, I definitely notice the stim effect but it doesn't seem to help much.
Brody Sanchez
Did you have any therapy? Drugs alone do not treat adhd. You need a lot of systems and exterior environmental cues and mechanisms in place to keep you on track. You need an agenda, lists, clocks timers, plans, exercises and go to activities to reset your focus. Are you aware of any of this?
Henry Walker
I have a therapist, he is very qualified and a pretty nice guy but I'm not sure how much I've gained. For the agenda stuff the sped teachers in school push the 'writing assignments on a schedule' and whatnot but the problem for me is I know exactly what I need to do, I just push it to the back of my mind
Isaac Scott
fuck off not op but how is this even funny
David Anderson
>i know what i need to do.
Typical of adhd. They are well aware of whats needed. They have problems with executive function, which is important in getting started which is the hardest part. See Dr. Barkley about all that.
Try to remember starting is the main challenge, even moreso than remaining focused. Its ok to lose attention as a task bores on, you can always go somewhere to cool off and replenish.. But then you have to get started again. The pomodoro technique is fairly effective in keeping you on a work break schedule. 20 mins on 5 off is a good start.
Also find things that help you focus. Fidget spinners work well for some, instrumental music for others. You kind of have to find what works for you, but something does, count on it.
Try to log whenever you have a productive period and try to identify what was different. Hydratation, sleep, nutrition, did you do heart rate increasing activity that day and so on.
Jayden Robinson
Thanks, I'll keep the executive functioning thing in mind, I tend to be pretty skeptical/pessimistic anyway (especially with the sped stuff)
Brayden James
Ill put it this way. I have adhd. I do just fine. I need medication but the medication did shit all until i understood the rest.
>executive function Im surprised this is new to you. Adhd is chiefly an executive function disorder. Its basically the entire problem.
This. Tell us more about your mom OP what does she look like? Maybe then we can begin to help you
Lincoln Morris
I read it, pretty good article, although I hardly ever have panic monster anymore
Not trying to make excuses or blame ADHD completely but it does vary, it's worse for some people than others
Jacob Diaz
Read the other two parts.
Austin Reyes
done.
Colton Gomez
bump
Joseph Ortiz
I know it varies but as Ill expand. I struggled all through child hood and early adulthood, got medication, still struggled, got (good) therapy, and now i do great, but i must couple the techniques with meds. Also im on wellbutrin. Its not a stimulant and it can be quite effective for adhd. Its soemtimes prescribed off label. I hated stimulants.
Jack Peterson
Whats good therapy? CBT?
>Also im on wellbutrin. Its not a stimulant and it can be quite effective for adhd
Source?
Wyatt Lopez
You need to snort your medication. Seriously
Caleb Sanchez
You sound exactly like my son, he's in middle school now. I sound exactly like your parents - highly qualified, well off, and a lot to measure up to.
Maybe we can help each other ? I don't have any quick answers though. Just looking to share thoughts on how I can help my son achieve his dreams and for you to share what you'd like to tell your dad about being more helpdful ? You can message me on kik: user_one_thousand if you like
The only 2 things I have for you now are:
1. Your dad might be angry at your poor grades, NOT because he wants you to be as academically successful as him. He may just want you to not have any regrets when you're older about having wasted any potential
2. The proudest dads are always those whose sons find success in something very different from their own path. My ivy league MBA's would pale in comparison to my son becoming a famous painter, or an award-winning pianist, or an ace pilot. But you've still gotta be the best at it, that's non-negotiable.
