Question about masculinity

I've been thinking about this:
As a man, I strive to be tough, stoic and not to look for easy routes. There is a push nowadays for being more "in tune with your emotions", being more sensitive and vulnerable. My initial response to that is negative, but I can't logically explain why, as a manly man, I shouldn't strive to be sensitive and in tune with my emotions. Say, as a man, why shouldn't I go to "cuddle parties" and open up emotionally to strangers? It feels emasculating, but what exactly in this situation is undermining a man's manliness?
I know this could be a convoluted question on my part, but I hope I get the though across.

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Why do you even care about "a man's" masculinity? Any man really?

It's good to think about your own emotions and thoughts while finding out where they come from. But for the love of god: stop caring about what other people do or don't do!

Masculinity has been misunderstood for ages.

Actual masculinity is about being determined, dominating and confident. It's arguably about not showing emotions among -strangers-.

Because most people are idiots, this has been warped into pretending to be uncaring and macho at all times, which is just retarded.

TLDR: Forget about the masculinity shit among friends. However, do make sure that said friends aren't shitlords who will mock you for opening up.

A helpful shift in perspective might be to strive not to live your life according to what you've been taught to believe a "man" acts like and is, but rather to strive to live according to what a "human" acts like and is. You can be tough and stoic and hardworking but still understand yourself and the people around you. In fact, I would argue that you must. Stoicism is not the absence of emotion or the suppression of emotion, but rather the understanding and transcending of it. Someone who is comfortable in their own body and comfortable with their own personality is tough - that shit takes a lot of time and effort. Being sensitive isn't about cuddle parties. It's about being honest with yourself and those around you, and being genuinely invested in your own internal life and those of other people. Take a step back from the idea of a man, and ask yourself what qualities you think make a good person. That's much, much more important.

going to cuddle parties means you have no woman
a man needs, NEEDS, to have a woman to have sex with, to cuddle with, to be intimate with

this is why you feel emasculated, because you dont have that requirement

yes i know its not the only requrement

Listen to this guy. Even the most masculine men need a women to open up to. That's literally what relationships are for (sex aside).

Strenght comes in many forms and being able to make yourself vulnerable is a sign of strength. No, you don‘t have to cry in someone else‘s arms but if you can‘t let your guard down and talk about how you feel in times where it‘s necessary, then that‘s a sign of insecurity. Which is a weakness. I wouldn‘t argue that you have to be emotional or sensitive because of what other people said, but because it‘s in your own interest. Having some introspection and being honest about your emotions to yourself and your close ones, is necessary for proper mental health which results in emotional security and strength.
We live in a new era in which the tides have changed. Previous ideas of masculinity are being redfined. I‘m not saying this from a feminist perspective, I‘m talking about our new „civilized world“ in which social skills, psychological resilience and appearances are the new „I can defend our tribe from a lion and bash anybody‘s skull in who touches my woman“. It‘s time to adapt. Vulnerability is strength.

You don't like it because it doesn't fit your stupid narrative

As a man you should be logical and realize that living your ONLY life following an arbitrary rule set is just being a slave to everyone around you, and thus retarded

Being stoic doesn't make you more masculine. If that's the case anyone with crippling anxiety who can hide it is the epitome of masculinity.

There's a difference between understanding your emotions and being a sensitive daisy picking faggot.

In my opinion a man isn't a man if he cant even handle his own emotions. The real end-game is to be the man who helps people express their's.

Being a master of your emotions is one of the manliest things you can do.

Because you know it's a shit test. All of that garbage gets pushed so hard so that women don't have to wade through as many undesirable men to find a real one, they can just ignore the guys that fell for it and pick from the ones that saw through it.

This. Just the right amount of red pill.

Redpill is a dumb meme and the fact that you described my post as it undermines not only the credibility of the post, but my own confidence in it as well.

Isn't that a function of being unable to open up with everyone else?
Why can the manly man only open up with those who are (stereotypically) meeker and more apparently-but-not-actually sensitive than him?

Most of it is which is why I said "just the right amount."

You should really have more confidence in yourself, bucko.

All you fags need to do some push ups.

>Even the most masculine men need a women to open up to
Don't women hate that though?

Fuck no. Women love that shit

t. Knows zero women

Nah I was just bantering. I get what you meant.

They'renot attracted to men that want it, if that's what you mean.

I don't think they're exclusive to each other. Being in touch with your emotions does not mean being softer or not being in control of them.

>all these people saying its okay to show you are vulnerable

DON'T.
IT'S A FUCKING TEST
DON'T LET THEM BRING YOU DOWN
JUST PRETEND YOU ARE A FUCKING MOUNTAIN. THE CLOSER YOU GET TO BEING MADE OUT OF ROCK, THE BETTER

Shit the fuck up fat faggot

The man who strives to defend himself from all of life's assaults must build an impenetrable fortress around him, with no entrances or exits. But in such a fortress, the man will starve. Therefore, he must be able to manifest this fortress at will, and then tear it down again when necessary.

Being a man is not about being emotionless and invulnerable at all times, but rather about being able to switch between fortitude and vulnerability when necessary.

the idea of what makes a 'real man' differs from century to century, nation to nation, town to town, and house to house. For much of human history the idea of what makes a 'real man' has been used simply as a manipulative tool to help control society. When wars became necessary they were used to challenge your manhood. these days its used even by women, who insist 'a real man would (want to meet my parents / take me out on dates every week / do what I say basically)'.

funny thing, doing things that others consider emasculating has no negative impact on your life other than people claiming its emasculating. its the male equivelent to those girls who go out of their way to seem 'cool' to others by insisting on fancy engagement rings and expensive weddings and all that stuff. Men are no different. we laugh at each other and make fun of each other for not having the things we consider to be superior.

the irony of this situation is that you do seem to be in tune with your emotions. its not feminine, or gay, or emasculating, and frankly the idea that men shouldn't be in tune with their emotions is stupid. The idea is that men should CONTROL their emotions, not avoid them or ignore them. no one actually ignores their emotions thats literally impossible. it just means that you shouldn't fly off the handle with anger or break down crying.

at the end of the day the closest all times and cultures and countries and households and all people in the world have come to agreeing on a single definition of being a 'real man' is that 'real men' dont live their lives trying to appease other people. They do what they want, for themselves and take care of the people they love along the way.

that's it.

>As a man, I strive to be tough, stoic and not to look for easy routes. There is a push nowadays for being more "in tune with your emotions"
You can be tough/stoic and be "in tune with your emotions".
The problem is people screeching that being in tune with your emotions is seen as being weak.
Being in tune with your emotions means having mature, suitable coping mechanisms in your life, people perceive it as pouring your heart out to anyone who will listen.

a man's purpose is a human being's purpose

a human being's purpose is to live, die, and fend for your self to succeed in the meantime

do you think being "in tune with your emotions" is anywhere near helpful along this long ride, or was for our ancestors?

there's your answer. seriously, life is grim there's no reason to be so trivial about it. and there's no good reason to be all sappy about it either unless one of your parents dies

nut the fuck up and fuck all the modernist brainlets

yeah you're clearly not being overly emotional.

being in tune with reality isn't being overly emotional
it's simply being aware

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and that user was having a tantrum over people talking about emotions.

is throwing a tantrum to you, are people that soft here?

Here's a crazy suggestion for you guys.
>Women do not want effeminate men

That's not what I've heard

I'm not sure what you mean

Women want a man to open up to them but do not like men that want to open up.

Just a big shit test. Women and society say they want emotionally open men, but shame them at every turn.
It is also not beneficial for your mental health to let your emotions guide or affect your actions and spirit. Find your rhythm and don't lose it.

Okay...so I should open up but not want to do it? That makes no sense.

>being more "in tune with your emotions"
>why shouldn't I go to "cuddle parties" and open up emotionally to strangers?
These two aren't the same things.

>That makes no sense.
Welcome to woman class, take a seat.

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idk why you would want to do that shit in the first place. Being calm and steady is so much better of a way to live, it just feels way better. It's like getting out of a stifling bed and setting your feet on hard ground, it just feels based.

Blablabla "Toxic Masculinity" has been warped by media from its original meaning and it actually means: Bottling emotions and being concerned about what others think of you (also known as fragile masculinity because it's parallel to those types of girls who catfight with eachother because of their insecurities. "Becky is sooo fat. Omg did u hear becky had sex with dave? what. a. slut!" but instead it's "he's a faggot, he fucks men because he cries/likes bunnies" and is more likely to end in physical violence). It's also being a bitch and inconsiderate of others. There's also being a "niceguy." Take care of emotional and mental health. I don't know what you're listening to, but telling strangers about your feelings (therapists are fine if you find the right one for you) and going to "cuddle parties" sounds really strange. Do what makes you comfortable and own your feelings. Being genuine is healthy. Ask yourself what you want to do and how you feel. Treat human beings equally. This doesn't mean be a nu-male.

masculinity is the opposite of femininity

work out. work hard. don't be a pushover. have self respect. have fun. help out if needed.

that's what I define it as. can't be bothered to make it more complex

That isn't what toxic masculinity is. Toxic masculinity that literally toxifies certain environments and institutions. Its unfortunate because so much of this toxicity is perpetuated by fellow men. A great example would be the military; an institution so deeply ingrained in masculinity that it psychologically damages the men involved. They don't feel free to talk about mental health, express vulnerability or weakness or even properly attend to physical injuries because they often feel like they'll be perceived as weak in the eyes of their fellow male soldiers. Sports teams, college institutions and even male dominated work places can also be examples of places affected by toxic masculinity and the unfortunate and often unspoken reality is that it often damages men along with women. I know that as soon as anybody even remotely associated with feminism uses a term like "toxic masculinity" your knee jerk reaction is get upset but it is unfortunately a real thing. Toxic masculinity is not just men making fun of each other. Its a pervasive environment that restricts everyone, men and women. Many many men throughout the years have sacrificed themselves and their well being at the altar of masculinity when it was wholly unnecessary.

That's what I meant to type. You did better at this than me.

Untrue. Is red the opposite of blue? They are just different colors.

Masculinity is in part defined by what females find attractive. Same for femininity. Women desire men that are confident, "bread winners", assertive, intelligent, but ALSO express feelings. Just be yourself, which might change as you age.

Red is the opposite of blue in RGB though,

No it's not. RGB of 255 0 0, the opposite of that is not 0 0 255, it's 0 255 255.

Isn't that also a reason for them to stop finding you attractive?

That can't be right.

Yeah but 0 255 255 is definitely a blue.

>in tune with your emotions", being more sensitive and vulnerable

Think of it like this OP, what you are looking for is self-knowledge and with that wisdom you understand how you should carry yourself through the world. Stocisim is just one school of philosophy, and while it has a pop-cultural understanding of, stock = no emotion, in reality the philosophy is about living in tune with nature. It's about understanding what you can control and being at peace with what you can't control, if this interests you read up on it, (Seneca, Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus) and see them as life lessons that have stood the test of time and try to figure out if that kind of ancient wisdom can help improve your life.

If that isn't for you there are a variety of other philosophers of different and you can even read religious texts through the lens of philosophy to get some hints as to where you can improve yourself. What you are dealing with right now (searching for meaning and self identity) has been a question that million of people over thousands of years have tried to figure out, each adding their own part to the explanation. Eventually you'll find a style that feels comfortable which will take bit and pieces from all of these schools of though, there is no "one true path" to live life, just keep studying and you'll be ok.

Here's a fun Youtube channel to check out that gives summaries of a bunch of different schools of though and methods for self reflection:
www.youtube.com/user/schooloflifechannel/videos

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Are you implying women make sense.

Women are allowed to be emotional because men are not. Now buck up and stuff your feelings in your gut, you get to show happiness and anger only and that's it.

I know this is probably bait, but this is the reality except for
>get to show
It should be:
>ought to have

I'm implying *some* women must make sense.

Some women make sense, some of the time. Broadly speaking, women, as a category, do not.

Why? To what extent is masculinity a good idea? You should do something because it makes sense, nit because of dogma. You're acting like an insecure teenager. Grow up dude. Learn some logic and philosophy while you're at it.