Husband found out I did porn, now he's destroying our marriage

PART 1
I'm asking for advice on any site that offers relationships advice, I'm not sure if this is the right place for it, but I don't care anymore I just want my emotionally mature husband back.

He's always been a good provider and very caring, I always felt respected as a woman until this incident. We've been together for 3 years, we had the perfect marriage, he made over 6 figures, and we lived in a beautiful house in a nice neighborhood. I really could have whatever I wanted, and all I wanted was to start a family. I am turning 39 this year, and it's time to start thinking about the future and children before the big Four-O. When I was much younger and way way more naive, from 18 to to around 24 I was in the adult industry. I did roughly 300 total scenes over those years, it sounds like a lot but it comes out to about 1 a week so it's really nothing over the top. I experimented with every type of scene so that I could find what I liked. I did some escorting too, nude modelling, and some acting and even tried a music career. Because of that glamorous lifestyle I ended up getting sucked into a party culture which involved drug and alcohol abuse, which i'm proud to say I have overcome.

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PART 2
Since then I've matured a lot, and I've grown into a successful business woman. Had it not been for my experiences in the adult industry I wouldn't have been empowered enough to work for a major tech company as a hiring manager. I wouldn't have had the confidence to fight inequity in hiring, and I helped hire some of the brightest female stars in the tech industry. I think that's what made my husband fall in love with me, my tenaciousness to stand up for women.

Recently however, an old high school friend of my husband's contacted him out of the blue to "let him know" my performance name. I don't know why his "friend" wants to hurt us like this, but it was a huge shock, I cried all night when he did this to us. Yes, I kept this from my husband but it's my right as a woman to protect myself from crazy people. I didn't want to hurt my husband because he's been lied to and cheated on before. He is way sweeter and more sensitive than the guys I used to date (I used to date a well known rapper for a few months but he was too concerned with status and image). Besides my husband knew I used to do nude modelling and was fine with it.

However when he found out, my husband completely over reacted, he said he's never been more disgusted in his life and left that day. I cried all night AGAIN. I haven't cried this much in, I can't remember how long. I haven't seen him since. I don't know if I should reach out to him because this is a very petty reaction over something that's not that big of a deal, but I'm scared he doesn't want to see it that way. He's always so emotionally mature, but suddenly he's turned into this angry little boy. I'm at a loss as to what I should do, and I'm tired of people making me cry, I just want my emotional maturity in my life again so I can focus on what really matters, starting my family.

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>not telling him for all these years
wtf did you expect. his reaction is justified lmao

Just give him time, some guys are "locked in" to patriarchal notions of female ownership. They think they own sex with you. It might help him ease back in if you help him understand the artistry behind your adult films, maybe start with your nude modelling photos and progress from there until you're comfortable watching your adult films together?

OP here, wow this is great advice! I never thought about framing it as art before.

>I tried to get something that I disqualified myself for when I was younger and it blew up in my face what do

Should have thought of that when you were 20.
Also, you should strive for EQUALITY, not EQUITY. The concept of equity is inherently flawed as it allows incompetents to succeed over their betters.

>I didn't want to hurt my husband because he's been lied to and cheated on before.

So you decided to lie to him? And what do you think 300 porn scenes count as? You are exactly what he wanted to avoid. No one wants a wife that's available online for every man on the planet.

Sorry to say it, but you are exactly the kind of person men don't want to marry, and I think you knew that already. Else why hide it?

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Oh come the fuck on do you really think we're going to think this story is true lmfao. Yeah op, you're DEFINITELY this 39 year old woman you're talking about. Lmfao.

Why would a 39 year old woman with children and a 6 figure income husband, working tirelessly to be a mom, give a living fuck about Jow Forums or it's advice. A 39 year old would know better than to ask a bunch of neckbeard anime loving teenagers with 0 life experience in this matter whatsoever on how to solve this problem

0/10, you didn't even try.

Thank you for being so honest and open, I'm sure this is a hard thing for you to open up about. I think he may be upset because of the perceived dishonesty, not because of the porn. It may help to reach out to him and explain that you kept it quiet out of fear of attack, and that now he's attacking you in that exact way. Remind him that you chose HIM in the end because he is empathetic and loving enough to handle you and your history.

He absolutely did not overreact, and withholding something so incredibly significant and hiding it from your husband of three years is a big deal. Maybe you should have mentioned to him that you used to fuck strangers for money before he spent so much money and time on you.
You are scum, nothing more, I hope he leaves you in the mud where you belong.

>ME ME ME ME ME ME
>I’M THE VICTIM HERE
>ME ME ME ME ME ME
>I’M SO STRONG AND EMPOWERING
>I’M LITERALLY A MESSIAH TO WOMEN
>ME ME ME ME ME ME
>WHY IS HE HURT AND BETRAYED, THIS HAS INCONVENIENCED ME FOR TWO WHOLE DAYS
>ME ME ME ME ME ME

That man has dodged the mother of all bullets you narcissistic sociopath. You don’t deserve him. This will fly over your head like the litre of tuna yoghurt you caught in the eye during your filming of “BACKDOOR WHORE BUKAKKE 27: HUMP ‘ER IN THE DUMPER”, because you’re oblivious to the suffering of others, but your response is callous and self-absorbed.

Your history doesn’t make you a horrible person. Your personality and lack of empathy does.

Poor girl, I know a couple women that have been slut shamed for doing porn. Men don't get sexual expression because they only see sex as a means to an end. Keep your head up!

You know what, I actually admire your life path, how you overcame those things and became successful and want to start a family. It takes a special kind of character to do that. It really is just up to your husband to decide if he wants to stay with you, which he will if he sees you for what you really are right now. I hope it works out. Good luck.

The whole world should hear your story, it's about time former porn girls start being treated as human. Have you considered going to a media outlet or magazine to share your shaming experience? I bet most girls in committed relationships have this problem and could really benefit from a strong voice like yours

PORN IS ART, when will people learn?

t.feminist npcs
Reddit and tumblr must be down today

What the fuck is going on in this thread?

Ah Jow Forums, where 39 year old former "Pretty Woman" tropes come for advice. How can anyone believe this?

i'm the last person you would call a feminist. i just thought about the fact that i do watch porn from time to time and, well, someone's gotta make it. don't get me wrong, i agree her husband had every right to know this before the marriage. it's his decision if he wants to stay or not. i just know for a fact, i've seen it with my own eyes on people, it's very very difficult to deal with coming out of a life of party culture and drugs to become successful and have light in your life. it's VERY difficult.

>it's about time girls start being treated as human

ftfy

Neckbearded larping, all of these comments are the same person

I always wonder what kind of life one must live to enjoy creating bait threads on a Sudanese genocide survivor support forum

Cope more

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this is what happens when you lie, sweetie. now SUFFER! MWAHAHAHAHAHA
jk
link a nigga up tho

This. You were kind of on courtesy to let your partner know. Not doing so just opened it for someone.
The problem with hiding shit is "what else" becomes a very real, very terrifying question. Whether or not you think "what else" should be a question, remember that it is infinitely more convenient for you to forget than for him. After all, your partner hasn't been ridden more than some carnival rides.

I'm sorry, but you fucked up. This ball is in his court. Lay yourself bare, offer up to him your deepest apologies and open questioning to him-- whether about that or anything else.

Bait thread, but anyways i couldn't look at my wife or respect her like i did before after i saw her doing shit like that, hell i even dumped a girl because she fucked a nigger once in her life a pornstar that did "every kind of scene" probably did alot more disgusting shit.

>we had the perfect marriage, he made over 6 figures, and we lived in a beautiful house in a nice neighborhood.
If 6 figures and a house is your measure of the quality of a relationship, you're still a sex worker.

Could you link the porn? I need a good fap.

I absolutely fell for it.

lmao properly thot patrolled

whats your stage name though so i can jack off to you

Nobody wants to find out several years into a relationship that their partner slept with dozens of people, especially porn as your image has been used innumerable times for other people to masturbate to.

You should have told him earlier, that was your biggest mistake. That sort of information -- how many sexual partners your own partner has had -- is something just about anyone keeps in the back of their mind. It changes their perception of you completely.

The fact your primary gauge for your relationship quality is " he made over 6 figures, and we lived in a beautiful house in a nice neighborhood" makes you seem like a gold digger. Those things don't make for a happy relationship, and three years is no time at all.

Although this is obvious bait it's really hitting me hard boys.

No matter what your girls tell you or how much you think you can trust her you will truly never know if you've married a whore and will always go through your life with that nagging sense of doubt.

/thread

And

/thread

>Art

>Was a prostitute

Pls you should have told your husband that's huge baggage that you've literally sold your body to other men.

>I made porn
>HE destroys the marriage
topkek

Here is another one
>I have the right to protect myself from crazy people
>person is the guy she married

Two main things that set off alarms for me, that make me believe you are completely emotionally immature.
>Focus on his income, and how it pertains to YOUR future, specifically noting his 6 figure income within the first 3 sentences, along with location of housing
>Not telling him upfront that you did this in your past, and that there is video evidence out there on the internet of your act.

This is the potential father of your children. How did you think this was going to go? Lets say dream world, you have your 2-3 kids, husband makes bank, nice house, nice cars. Mommy is bored as fuck and restless from cranking Timmies adderall all afternoon, and decides to run for PTA or some other helicopter mom job. Debbie is a cunt who is currently sitting on the board. Debbie digs up dirt on you, because well, she's a cunt. Now the entire town, your children, all their friends, your husband, your neighbors, EVERYONE has seen you chug dicks and take loads for cash.

Do you not realize this shit completely destroys families in the first place? Who cares, you did porn, good for you. But do you understand the effects of it, even at a minor level. Lets say one of your kids friends finds it, now uses it in school and social media to torment your child. Yeah, to an 11 year old, thats fucking social suicide.

I would say you have some redemption here with your husband, but I have to honestly say, good for him. You lied, about something so fucking major, and life altering, that you deserve this. You wasted years of this mans life on a false dream. You thought you gave up porn at 24, but you just changed roles from cumslut to housewife. Sadly for you, the scene has come to an end, time to wipe the cum off your face, collect your pennies and go home.

Not meaning to be harsh, but seriously, fuck you for thinking you could hide this shit. And fuck you for even considering bringing children into this world with such a major lie hanging over your marriage.

As a person who did porn, you are trash when it comes to relationship material, at best you are a nice pump and dump. So now you're stuck with niggers, white trash and little swarmy beta males, as no man of quality will want your used up ass, whore.

>He's always been a good provider [...] I always felt respected as a woman
>we had the perfect marriage, he made over 6 figures
Yeah, you're not giving a good impression.

3/10
lazy and uninspired. apply yourself, user

What in this leads you to believe her husband is mad because he thinks he's owned sex or something? What a fucking automated response from a femoid who can't into introspection and male psyche

Yeah I pretty much came to the same conclusion. It was a pretty good Karp desu, but it had way too many stereotypes packed together

i'm disappointed in all of you.

This board is pretty much all role play.

This

/thread you malevolent whore

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shhh user don't tell op the truth it hurts her

>brightest female stars in the tech industry
You are so full of shit

No EMPOWERED woman would hide.

yes but this OP isn't even good and I'm not entertained

fucking this you dirty cunt. Show him you love him and it's in the past but don't expect him to have the same amount of respect for you as before.

>incel LARPing fan fiction as what he thinks is the average roastie
>Guaranteed (You)s

There's some dead giveaways in your little story. 4/10.

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FLEXSEAL

There are certain things that one can't keep from a prospective spouse because they are potential deal breakers. This is one of them. This was third date information.

Regardless of how doing porn affects your suitability as a mate, you hid this thing from him before you got married. The secrets and breach of trust is sufficient to justify divorce.

>People actually replying to this thread

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