GIOYC / Get It Off Your Chest

Vent it all out.

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BJH

I doubt you will ever talk to me again so enjoy your life. So disappointed though.. it can't be helped if you don't feel the same. Happy birthday to me.

Damn, i wish i could help my father to resolve long lasting issues with grandmother. She's a toxic person who demands attention from immediate family by creating conflicts, reminding past mistakes which happened +20 years ago. I wish my pops would fed up with it and draw a boundaries but he struggles with it because he's used to it (for about 50 years) and he cant really say no to his mother. I can only hope that one day he'll wake up and realize it.

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Goodbye, sweetheart. It's a damn shame we never got to date. Today was possibly our last encounter and, as if by fate, not a soul was around but yours and mine - our first encounter as such (and the perfect one to become acquainted). Yet both of us did as young, inexperienced but passionate fools do: to avoid the other like the plague and, in a shared, short-lived anxious haze, stumble as far away from the other as quickly as possible; only that reality dawned after regaining our composure - it was already too late; we would never see each other again. I wish I could kiss you. All that we can do now is learn from our mistakes.

There's not a lot you can do to fix that relationship OP. It's existed like that long before you were born. I was in the exact situation with my dad and his mother.

Just be there for him. His relationship with her might never be fixed, but it will reassure him to know that he'll always have a strong one with you.

Why do I ALWAYS have to turn the other cheek? Why do I always have to forgive and take the high road? Because I'm older than you? And even in doing this, I'm still judged. You and your delusional perspective that you made SUCH an amazing boyfriend that I would do ANYTHING to keep you is INSANE. I can see why you would believe that, I mean there isn't another human being on earth who would've put up with the crap I did from you and all the social media activity! I don't give a damn who you're with what your with our why your with them. The reason I was so into it when we were together is because you always switched up on me for no reason and I learned it was because of who you were involved with! Did you forget the last 2 years I was READY to call it quits. I was so looking for a way out. You couldn't do it peacefully. You couldn't coparent maturely. It was all or nothing with you. You claim I kept you away from everyone! LIAR. Who organized movie night so D could spend time with your sister? How many times does I encourage REAL LIFE outings for you and you'd say "I have no friends. No one wants to hang out with me." I brought us to therapy to try to fix it and you refused to get help then. I spent hundreds of dollars on natural supplements to help with your diagnosed depression because you refused to take meds! NOTHING I did was ever good enough because the problem was so much deeper than even I realized. I hope you hate me. I hope I disgust you. I cut all my hair off for that purpose. I hoped I grossed you out. I hoped you would move on and grow the hell up and coparent maturely. I pushed the issue with the abuser program not because I want you fixed so I can get back with you! Fuck that! You were the most self-absorbed bf in the history of bf! You kept secrets ALL THE TIME. And when you got called out by Dixon who saw you with another female, YOU BEAT MY ASS for it! You never contributed but bleed me dry of my last penny!

So, after her breaking up with me roughly a month ago,we were together for 5 months and had been friends before for nearly 7 years, i asked her if she'd be down for fwb 2 weeks ago. She said yes and we met up three times, always having sex, talking, laughing, the whole "we're halfway together but no commitment".

I couldn't bear that, since my feelings for her had resurfaced and she'd told me that she had "other feelings" for me. So yesterday i went to her place, talked about the situation. Told her that i wanted to only sleep with her because that'd minimize the risk of STDs a whole lot. She tried to make fun, sorta, of my reason. Telling me that it isn't a big deal, that's what condoms are for. I mean sure condoms protect but it really wasn't reassuring that she basically told me, she wanted to have sex with other guys and with me. Then she told me, of course, that she has been making out with some other guy few days before, but she still wanted to continue things with me.

I was furious to say the least, i was the one who offered her the whole thing in the beginning so i shouldn't be mad. The way she told me all of this shattered every single false hope i had and made me sick to my stomach to be honest. All she wanted was the fun side of me while looking for someone to be in a relationship with.

Even now i feel sick thinking about the whole ordeal i've been putting myself through.

The fact that she didn't care? or think that much about getting an STD, even if wearing a condom, made me realize that this is not the girl i want to be with anyway.

>cont.

I stayed at her place, we drank, we slept together and i slept at her place until i woke up at like 6 am to go to work.

She texted me at 7 am, asking at what time i went. Asked her on what we had agreed upon, as i want to read it from her.

I was dumb, naive and hopefully learned from this experience. She asked me if we could meet up without having sex i.e. wanting to put me in the friendzone She doesn't think about me, it's just about her and what she wants, which is perfectly fine but i'm certain that she knows that i still have feelings for her.

I was an idiot for clinging on to false hope. She's waiting for a decision now, guess there is only one to do (which weirdly feels like me breaking up with her).

Here comes nothing.

There's fewer and fewer things that make me happy. It seems that every passing year it gets worse. I'm not depressed, I've just lost most of my enthusiasm for life.

I've tried to actively fix it but nothing works. Now I just stand still and hope it comes back to me or that the world changes around me or something. I feel like a tree just waiting for the right season to come back around again, not knowing if it ever will.

I think it's best for you to move on. Im not expert but it looks that if you continue seeing her you will only get hurt more. Cut contact, perhaps?

I tried to recommend him to visit psychologist so there's that. I'd really like to slap my grandmother and say "stop dragging everyone around you into the mess you've created on purpose" (she does the same with aunt). It's really really hard for me not to be judgemental/preacher and not to advise something but i've starting to realize thats not going to do jackshit in the future. I guess from now on my only advice will be that i trust him to make the right decision.

I guess that's the only way out for me. It's just really hard for me to cut contact, because my brain is trying to trick me into "oh remember how chill you guys are together? maybe..."

But yeah, ultimately i have to say goodybe

You have no idea how to celebrate special days, bday or holidays but you sure know how to accept presents! I could never get you and her to honor my wishes when it came to our child! Anything on scheduling eating discipline - it was all removed from me and YOU TWO controlled everything. You both would tell me how I could never raise him on my own. I wasn't capable or strong enough! I contributed and contributed to the household. I LIVED there, had mail there helped pay bills there and she refused to allow me to have a key to what was supposed to be my home. Oh but she sure quickly gave me a copy when the authorities got involved. Because she knew she was wrong. She claimed and professed her love for him but NEVER ONCE INQUIRED on his well being. Pride you say? It goes WAAAY beyond that. You know he's never once asked for her? Because of that, I've had a whole new perspective on it. I thought you had at least one good parenting side. I was mistaken. I was mistaken on so many things. I was never perfect but I also never deserved the shit I was put through. The night you got bailed out, I slept in my car because she wouldn't let me sleep there! It became so late, I didn't want my family knowing then what you had done. The 2 people that even knew, I could'nt sleep there. So the car it was. I didn't have the $ for a hotel because I bailed you out earlier that day. You got to sleep in a warm comfortable bed. What an eye opener for me. How did I ever end up there? Never again.
I'm perfectly content and ever relieved to not have you uh my life. I never thought you'd abadon him though and was willing to be cordial for his sake. U couldn't even do that much. Where things are at are a direct result of our choices. I can at least sleep with myself peacefully now. No more terrors for either one of us. The abuse is over and we never have to go back again.

I can't see the future. Neither can you. But can you feel the energy in the air? When was the last time you relaxed around me? Honestly it's none of my business but you seem miserable. It would take a 5 minute conversation to clear the air, you're just so damn stubborn. But I love that about you.

Take your time. I'll wait. But I will keep moving forward along the way.

You're better than this.

Can I die now?

Either stick to your guns or walk away. Don't let her make you have any different relationship than you want. If she won't comply, (which she will if you don't allow yourself to be walked over) then just leave. Not worth your time.

The larps would miss you

I miss you. Are you leaving me?

I guess so... she literally told me what she wants and all i'm doing is chasing false hope and unreciprocated feelings.
It's very confusing because she told me she had a low libido, told me sex wasn't important to her and now it's the most important thing for her to have with me.
Sigh...

You don’t know what you’re doing to me...

I've decided I'm a horrible monster because that's how i feel.

Either I off myself or go live in some shithole as a bum ruminating on my worthlessness.

It could be worse but it's not getting better.

I knew this was a bad idea and I took the risk of texting you. Now I can't even eat as I'm drowning in my own sadness. I will not know what to do when I meet you tomorrow. I'll probably just act as if nothing happened and cry when I get home.

I love how you try to play the race card. You cry and whine about how privileged I am and that's the only reason things are the way they are.
Get a grip on reality why don't you?
Look at your arrest record! It lists you as CAUCASIAN. Dumbass. Spoiled and privileged?? I was the ONLY person in that household that was working full time. The only one. On top of classes. You refused to work. Blamed me for getting fired. Turned down job offers when given to you because "I don't want to do that." AND I'M SPOILED? I did housekeeping years ago while waiting to get a better job. You do what you have to in order to survive but you don't get that. You are the one who's been spoiled. Your work ethic doesn't exist. You complain about how disadvantaged you are with NO OPPORTUNITIES but admit you can't further your education because you don't do will in school. Your siblings were in the same boat but still managed to make lives and be independent. I get you are the chosen one and in one aspect not completely your fault that she ruined you as a person. The enmeshment is severe, I'll give you that much. That's fine if the 2 of you want to live happily ever after together. Waterboy comes to mind. The problem is there is another life that you had responsibility for and you refused to do it. EVEN THAT'S FINE! If you want to just walk away from him, cool. I got him. I so got him. STOP REACHING OUT TO MY PEOPLE. MY ADULT CHILDREN DON'T WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU TALK WITH YOU. You can't have it both ways. Walk away or get your shit together and go through the proper channels.

The day I accept I’m going to die alone is the day I kill myself. I can’t do it.

Why are you afraid of being alone?

I need you.

I must act normal. I don't want her to know that I'm brokenhearted because of her.

I must not hate her and stop giving her attention just because she rejected me. I must pretend I don't know that she doesn't like me and love him instead.

I'm already used to it. 0/3.

Idk man there's just something about releasing and venting that helps with emotions. Most of the time I'm ok honestly. Slowly It's been getting better. I'm not in a bad place and neither is he. Omg what he went through though this past summer. THAT was the most painful part in this. We seem to have gotten past the worst of it and he is truly thriving. I've got in place the tools and people needed to hopefully get him to his full potential. I worry about the violence and where he will be with that in adolescence but we're taking it a day at a time. I guess I just wanted closure and for some strange reason it feels like I'm getting it venting here. Tbh I'm not really liking the vibe on this site. Not my style, no offense Jow Forums community. What do I want from here? I guess what I've always Just wanted. Peace. I like the drama free life I live now. The only drama here is when a meltdown occurs and those are becoming fewer and further between. I tell him "No drama llamas!" Lol he's a good kid. He's gifted and funny and authentic and adorable. I enjoy him so very much. Do you know back in June I was so torn up for you that you were missing out on him that I started a journal for you to have and read when you returned to his life? I stopped writing in it after things got so bad this summer. He really had a hard time. That was the hardest of all. Watching him go through that. But he has gotten through it and is on the other side. My fear is you try to come back not out of love for him but out of control and not fully committed to remaining in his life - that would make him regress. Honestly I haven't a clue where ur at with things? I only can go by what had been relayed to me by 3rd party contacts. If I had only one last thing to say to you it would be shit or get off that pot. Let go or dig your heels in and do the inner work needed. Either path is ok. Whatever you need for your peace. Just don't hurt him again like that. That is my only request. I'm out.

>random normie guy starts showing interest in me
>open up and start exposing my power level
>they back off almost immidately
I dont know why does this give me so much satisfaction

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In retrospect, she was exceedingly annoying and I was attracted in a purely pragmatic sense. Someone so kind, intelligent, and humorous, as well as wealthy and attractive, giving me such a great deal of attention boosted my self esteem immensely. No doubt in part to my own nature as an emotional wreck who's made a lot of poor choices in life and was unemployed for the time I knew her.

In knowing her I came to understand so much about myself and other people that was lost on me because of my inner turmoil. I was able to embrace the aspects of myself I both hated and feared.

I don't regret saying what I said. Which is the funniest part. I regret hurting her so much that she felt the need to break contact, but breaking contact has turned out to be great. For now. I've never felt motivation like this before, and it's all me. New job, new apartment, haven't felt depressed in... It's already been months. I just wish I could thank the girl. For listening to me like no one in my life ever did. For trying her hardest to love and support me, within logical reason for people who met and corresponded as strangers.

Dawn is breaking. Thank you so much, Slo.

OKAY WHAT THE FUCK. WHY AM I ALWAYS MISUNDERSTOOD?

I feel so unfuckable because of the acne on my back. I tried everything to get rid of it, even accutane but all it left me with is a ton of scars and I still have acne after a year, I won't do it again because I'm still fighting the side effects after 3 years. It looks so bad I can't even stand to look at myself. I'll never be able to be with anyone because of that. Fucking genes, my parents should've known better than to pass on all the degenerate bullshit they came with... I'm so fucked, I'll never be normal and I'll be alone forever

Can I pretend this is for me for a moment...thanks xoxo

im this fucking close to lose my chill. 24 years and i only had sex with hookers. i never had a normal girl crush on me, maybe because im too nice. never looked for pussy, while my friends were banging girls i was working on self improvement and being the best man i can be, but when girls step on you its kinda breaking

are theres downsides to just start being a jerk, give every woman shit and ask every single chick out? ive never had women in my life anyway so it doesnt seem like i risk anything

Wow, I finally booked into see a psych but it's a 3 month wait. I finally did it cause I know I need help & medication and I'm told I gotta wait 3 months + pay $100 an hour?
I don't know what else to do about getting meds. Doctors won't gimme anything unless I'm evaluated by a psych

>my power level
how high is it?

what do you want me to tell you?

"yes i'd like to still meet up with you, have sex with you and am totaly okay with you having sex with other guys and date someone else?"

fuck me

i want YOU
i don't want to give you 50% of me just so you don't feel like a bitch

i am such a cuck holy hell

You've become a notch in her bedpost. If you don't act clingy she may start wanting more.

How do you know he backed off? I talked to one girl also and she was nice, and responsive, but I wanted to see her put in some effort also which she didn't do, so I backed off.

Because you don't take the time to elaborate

>a notch in her bedpost.
Can you explain that phrase user?
>she may start wanting more
Not sure if that's actually the case, maybe she was shit testing me by telling me she made out with someone, she did have a smug smile on her face before she told me that

But anyway, i don't think that this will happen. I told her that i have feelings for her, multiple times, she doesn't give a fuck about me.

If I cut the ties it will be the same like last year. So maybe I'll just try to hold back the pain.

A cute girl showed me some chickens she drew in genetics class. I'm gonna pretend that means she's into me.

You can do it. You are capable. You can make the difference. No matter what you will be ok.

You were an idea that became fulfilled. A trophy.
You're coming on too strong if you mention feelings multiple times. Most women don't want to date another woman.

A trophy?
She's my exgirlfriend, if all i am for her is a trophy then fuck her senpai

I'm about to try to sleep with an ex girlfriend who has a military husband that's on deployment

Both sexes have the ability to make poor decisions and get into relationships for the wrong reasons.
But yes it's a Fucked up thing to do. That she probably wouldn't admit to either.

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Well, fuck me. I'm more than just a trophy.
Really don't wanna be used for sex and attention.
My decision has been made, i'll tell her that.
I've bent my boundaries into oblivion for her, wew...

I'm just really horny and lonely. I mean if you want to come suck my cock I'll forget all about her.

I hope you make the choice that is healthiest.

/v/ incel levels

Postponed (read: cancelled) a coffee date he asked me out for and suggested I should maybe try doing something else on a day we were supposed to go to a local event together
No regrets, we were a poor match anyways
Also, define „effort”.

So tell me

Yeah, he's not interested. :/
And we just had one conversation which I started, where she was smiling and asking me stuff, but she never said hi and stuff after that convo when we passed each other in the school hallway or talked to me when we were in class. Basically, I wanted her to want me also and talk to me. The course is over now anyway, so it doesn't matter. I'm getting a prostitute next week.

I wrote a poem. Critiques welcome:

Do not forget the love wind carries my friend, for as long as leaves whisper and the clouds are steady in their transit, she is there for you. When I was young, the world made me old. I’d pat the dog and grab my keys, to climb in the car to seek my destiny. To train tracks, a bridge, to something final, I would go.
Every time I made the same mistake. She’d pound on the glass, begging me to let her in, stronger and fiercer the closer I got. Every time I would listen. Every time, I would roll down the windows.
Up through my hair and across my face she’d wander, cradling, holding, knowing, whispering in my ears one soft and powerful gentle word.

Stay

If for no one else, I am here for you. For in every tilting blade of grass you are here for me. You, oh glorious aspect of my world, who lives in the sky and knows the subtleties of my heart, I love you.

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>that awkward moment when you realize that you practically lead a life similar to Hitler's youth.

And instead of jews, I hate muslims. My temper is worsening and I think that I stand above most people, even though I have nothing to show for it. I am becoming more and more politically interested and even dream of becoming a politician myself.
This kind of shocks me, I hope I will be stable enough to establish a decent but effective political movement. I need to change the world.

that's prose not verse m8 but it's lovely

Yeah, sucks when the other party isn’t nearly as involved. Anyways, have fun with your slut.

She just texted me
>if you made a decision, let me know :) "

As if she knew exactly that i'd stick around

My shift posting for attention is really not working to actually help any of my issues

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>Jow Forums.png

that’s really a stretch. you got marks on your back so you’ll be alone forever? are you voluntarily trying to give up and be unhappy? if anything, you’ll be alone forever because you’re being a little bitch about it.

Thx life is gettin hard sometimes

Basically.

I need a psychologist (or someone with a background in psychology) to give their judgement on this:

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I just want some fucking pussy man

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No, I don’t want to try to control others with my emotions. It’s wrong and futile. I just feel things too strongly. It’s only venting...

>caring about this dead hood rat

Understood. U can vent here though that's the point. I feel things strongly too. Is not a weakness. Just learn that no matter how strong the emo is, you are stronger.

I don't think you know that when you're okay with hanging out with spineless people, I assume you're okay with moral invertebrates. I think you see it as kindness or compassion, but those things can only be expected from the strong, and judging by your acquaintances, you're too weak to even lose face in front of those who have none. I hope you really like people without a backbone, because you're fast becoming indistinguishable from them.

Dayum!

I like this one.

You're welcome to it.

Thank you.

I'm fine confidence wise, except for this thing, I even look at myself in disgust and I'm trying to be honest with myself. How can someone else not be repulsed by it if I am? when things start to get serious and intimate this always kills it for me. I even went to a doctor about it and after the pills he prescribed didn't work, he said that theres nothing he can do and sent me home. I know there are worse things that can happen to a person but I never met anyone with my problem and I can't really see how someone might not at least be disappointed to see I look the way I look

I'd use this for my ex.

Y do guys do this shit? Realize how stupid they are AFTER putting her through hell? Glad she got out and away. You never deserved her

is telling a girl that you have feelings for her bad?

My gf's mom called me a pedophile.

>gf is 18 and I'm 29
I think she might be right, but it's kinda hard to deny that fresh pussy is great.

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>hour before the date
>girl no longer responding
Fucking hell I fell for a fake again. I can't believe she (he?) actually bothered to talk to me every day for two fucking weeks. What the hell

I give up. I won't pursue you anymore. It may be slow and hard but I'll make it eventually.

I have become such a shell of who I was. I feel so ashamed of the person I am today, the person Ive been for the past 3 years- so so fucking far off what I always envisioned, what you and all my friends had always believed in.
Im seeing a doctor tomorrow because I don't want to end up killing myself, and I don't want to live another 3 years feeling like this.
Fuck you, fuck me, fuck everything
I GOT TWO FRIENDS! I GOT TWOOOO FRIENDS! HOWS YOUR LIFE?
THIS CUNT CANT EVEN SAY HEY TO A CUSTOMER WITHOUT HAVING A FUCKING PANIC ATTACK ABOUT IT
wooooo late night nonsensical rants!

i have acne and scars on my back and jaw. i thought it looked disgusting. so i grew a beard and went to the gym, and now the same scars look grizzled instead of disgusting. it’s all perspective.

Good for you. Seek help is always better than suicide.
And 2 friends is more than some got.

My ex was extremely abusive to me. I suspected early on he was a sexual abuse survivor but he denied it.
There was one episode where he held me prisoner in the house and set an alarm on his phone for 5 minutes. He calmly told me he was going to kill me when the time was up. As it ticked down I begged and pleaded for my life. He choked me until I blacked out, only to become conscious again and repeat the scenario.
My therapist told me that sounded like a psychotic episode on his part and not simple abuser cycle.

I'm convinced my ex was abused in some way at some point in childhood. He's fucked up in the head beyond the average fucked up.

There's other reasons I suspect as well.

For all the shit Jow Forums gives reddit, it's objectively the better platform for anything that doesn't involve huge rants filled with profanity and racism (cause sometimes you need that shit out of your system).

They are also a lot more diverse in terms of what to look for. There's legit a subreddit for any fucking thing and it's actually moderated well.

You've unwittingly thrown me into an emotional hell, and I can't forgive you for that. I will not survive.

I would argue that on Jow Forums you get a more genuine view of humanity. People on reddit have a false self and a reputation to keep up. Here, you get what people are truly feeling and thinking because there's little to nothing to win or lose when posting anonymously.

People will find Jow Forums offensive, hateful, hurtful, annoying, funny, sad, joyful and everything in-between - in that way it portrays the many sides of humanity in a genuine way.

Shit dude, I feel this hard.

Yeah it does but notice, it'll always pass. You've got to tough it out avg stay strong during those dark times. The light will show up again. I promise.

I agree with you but perhaps not as much as I used to when I was younger.

You do get an unfiltered look but I disagree its a false self. It's just a bit more true to life, a restrained but still mostly-honest person. Over there, I am my usual civil self. anything I say there, I wouldn't be afraid of saying to anyone on the street or even in a session of public speaking (though perhaps said in a more professional tone or format). Over here, I can talk super bluntly, call people niggerfaggots and cunts. Nothing I would say to anyone save for my best friend when we're hanging out.

I used to think unfiltered purity is the best way but now I'm wondering if that serves any practical purpose? Just because something is unfiltered doesn't make it good or useful. Wanting feedback on something for example like posting an equation on /sci/ and getting called a retard is not constructive feedback and serves no purpose.

You cant hold anyone else responsible for your emotions. If they're toxic, go no contact. Own your feelings and don't blame others for your suicidal ideations.

big if true

You seem unhappy lately, really unhappy. I don't like it, I don't like it one bit. I wish there was something I could do to help.

I agree with this post

Does nature have a practical purpose? It just is and goes about its business. Jow Forums is closer to the natural way and you're going to get responses like that.

The false self is the ego it's a mask and we all wear one, once you become aware it's a mask and that it's false you will understand where I am coming from. The majority of the internet is mask to mask communication and it bores me.

I've learned to filter out the nonsense on here and look for the few bright spots that happen on these boards to add my input. In that way, again, it's a proper representation of life, not every post is going to be constructive and, in reality, most posts won't be. But more often than not there will be that one person who gives you exactly what you were looking for and did it without looking to gain notoriety, thumbs up or reputation through a game mechanic that reddit and stack overflow implement. You will know when you receive that particular post that that user took the time out to answer your question because he wanted to help you because he wanted to and not for some external reward.

Sorry, I'm just going to rant about an ex.

You said you did everything to keep me happy.

You told another girl you loved her and kept speaking to her after I found out, claiming it was only because she was depressed that you kept her around, when she clearly wanted more.

You said your female friend tried to kiss you, and you kept her around. I was the jealous one.

You went to a party, took a picture of some girls, said you were going to bang one of them. Then you didn't reply for 2 hours.

You got black out drunk and don't remember what happened. You think you had sex with someone.

You told me my make up made me look like a whore, and lipstick was for skanks.
I wasn't allowed to wear a dress when we went out together because "no one wears dresses here", we met up with your friend and his gf. She wore a dress.

You were obsessed with taking my anal virginity, because I was a slut who had slept with 2 other men before you. You never wanted to learn how to do it in a way that wouldn't hurt me, and blamed me for not being able to take the pain of you forcing yourself inside me.

You made me feel bad about my vagina.

You insisted on eating me out right after a 8 hour flight while I was on my period. You then made fun of me for "smelling funny" that one time, for the rest of our relationship.
You never wanted to go down on me, and if you did you never did it for more than a few seconds, You never made me cum. The two times I did, I faked it because you became increasingly upset I wasn't finished yet.

You got upset when I wouldn't reply quickly, but would often ignore me for hours.


I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that you were just using me as a punching bag because I loved you.
I'm sorry it took me so long to break up with you. Threatening suicide if we broke up was a good way to keep me on lock.
I hope you are better to the next person you date.

I wish I had someone to share my life with, but I don’t know anyone who wants me like that, and I don’t know anyone who I want like that.

I wrote a really long post, but it was too long to post, so now I'm slightly infuriated

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