Online dating/ insecurities

I've started going to the gym again but eating again and lifting take time
Yeah, I drank out at bars tonight too, so the day dies affect the rate of posting. I don't come to this board so idk how slow it is. You're right, but also I wish I could raise kids throughout my twenties- partly because I can feel my biological clock or natural urges telling me to reproduce. I'll do my best to have a young, fertile wife but I'm starting to think i won t get to be married until my later twenties. As for hobbies, I've gotten back into music. Im great at drums, and am learning banjo. If I'm not a bastard I'll keep with it and hope to get chicks through my music. Hopefully I'm not a skinny loser by then :/
I meet people all the time, the problem is no one wants to be my best friend. I'm always an acquaintance to others. Nobody texts me or comes by to chill or anything. I'm so lonely I hate it. I moved around a lot growing up so maybe that's affected my ability to generate long lasting friendships

Wow a genuine nice comment

Drunkenness and genuine kindness go hand in hand in my experience

Become interested in other people. Genuinely want to know more. They will open up and become more than "acquaintances."
Try Hinge for dating, best I've found. I match like crazy and can actually see enough about a girl to tell if she is worth talking to, it encourages real connections and really is good at filtering wheat from chafe in terms of quality and personality. Looks mean less on Hinge, self-image and personality more.

I appreciate the farm analogy. Never heard of hinge but I'll look it up I guess. I'm trying Bumble and PoF for now because they're free; I figured I could work my way up to paying for match,com if need be. It sounds like you've tried a few dating sites, feedback on them? All I know is okcupid is lame and eharmony is for actual adults. I won't use tinder because that's actually how I met my ex lmaooo (I had it to troll and she was

Most sites are marriage wannabe simulators. But any site can lead to chicks. Tinder is shit, just hot or not IRL. PoF is shit. Bumble's ok but really hit or miss.
Hinge is good because most people don't know about it so its not saturated with like-whores and One-Night-McChads. I think it might have staying power because it encourages just enough personal interest that you can see into a person from their profile while lacking enough info that you actually need to meet the person to know them. Most sites are too loaded with info, so its really just trolling for the perfect person to "Marry" which is useless for everyone but the site advertising.

Be honest though are you paid by hinge? Use ; in your post if so and : if not bb
Also I'm in college/a college town, is hinge still applicable or is it more NYC/la based?

:Dude I wish they did. College I don't know. It works for me, default is a 125 mile radius or something. I've seen small town girls on it, so its not just a big city thing.
Using its changed how I swipe.
I've liked girls on Hinge who aren't "hot" but show a lot of personality and other valuable things. I've turned down 10/10 just based on profile choices that make it clear that person would be a waste even if we met IRL.
I'd never use most sites like that. I think the girls on it do something of the same. I do not have a Chad profile. I'm attractive, yes, fit and in shape, but most of my profile is actually a filter, I want girls who want me, the actual person. So I've put things in it that would turn away the chafe and pull in the catches that might have a chance of working. I can get 1 nights with 5/10s too, but the real value is the longer term real relationship potential. No gold yet, but I'm swimming in opportunity, just need a bit of luck and time to find that 10/10 waifu material.

The radius thing in apps gets me. I could maybe travel about twenty minutes either way to neighboring towns, but I'm not gonna drive across America just to impress a chick so maybe i could get another date and do it all over again so maybe I could get laid. But I've also heard that you get more local replies if you set your distance farther. Any insight? Should I set a radius farther than I'm actually willing to travel?

I want a cuddle buddy :(

I'm doing it. I'll try it 4 u bb

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can't help with radius. I'd rather have a date fall through after getting a girls number and then realizing we don't want to travel, then not have the number and chance. For the right person I'd drive a hour at least once to see what happens.
Location stuff is broken on phones, I'd advise going wide and getting more hits that don't work out than having a radius so small the app never thinks anyone is nearby.

>"wahh y am i roneri ;_;"
>The only interest my profile seems to get is from unattractive women.

thats the double standard most single men are up to. Going for the top 20% of women and then complaining about everybody wanting the top ones. So much hypocracy its hurting my eyes

No asshole, invest your time and money in YOU

Go to the gym, buy cool clothes, meditate, stop watching porn, etc.

Do whatever you need to look and feel the best you can.

THEN you can think into having a relationship

You are only 23, you are a fucking kid. Be aware of that. Full of fucking potential

Your best years are ahead of you.

Online dating is super easy if you have a job and look like someone who has control of his life.

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Get hype! best of luck.

My advice would be to actually put yourself out there with the questions, don't give generic answers. Hinge swings based on interest and image not being a generic McChad perfect guy. You want a cuddle buddy, so put forward the part of you that a cuddle buddy would be interested in. vary things too, don't focus on one thing 3 times. work at having each picture show more about yourself. I have one with a dog, another with friends, one with me working with power tools, and a few selfies. Diversity is good, it shows depth. play with the answers until you have good ones. I'm about off. But if you have any last questions ask quick I'll try and help.

P.S. keep thinking about the image you portray on Hinge, change stuff up until it works, then change it again when things slow down.
Last bit of advice, if you feel ready for a new level of yourself, listen to Jordan B Person he's on youtube. Has a book, 12 Rules for Life. Its good shit if you're feeling lost.

> Online dating is super easy if you have a job and look like someone who has control of his life.

nope. only looks matter

If you are a guy, money is way more important.

Not OP but I needed this. Thank you. I want to be better, I will be better.

unemployed thug chads get way more responses than i do as an engineer. endless 'okcupid experiments' prove that hot guys can do/say what they like, including being on fucking remand for CP

only looks matter

I'm talking fat niggers user. I refuse to date fat niggers

Would you recommend I say my personal brand is "love Nazi?"

begone incel.
Looks matter, but looks aren't everything. Certainly looks alone do not work. I'd trade some of my looks for not having to deal with my personality issues. But whatever.
Ugly guys with the right kinda stuff, money and moxy can get hot chicks. Trump is not a good looking guy, but he's banged bombshells all this life, he is chad. Even if its fuck you money, proves he doesn't need looks.
Don't be a fucking looser and you will get laid. Maybe not bombshells, but most fat girls are hiding at least a 5/10 under the whale. Take your time and that can become worth it.
The really hot girls you dream about go for Men. Capital M Men. Shit like bikers and soldier and firemen, police, CEOs and guys who get shit done wherever they are in the world. Be a man worthy of respect, especially the respect of other men, and you'll be suprised what you can catch.

looks alone does work

hooray, if i have enough money girls will hang around to try and mine it off me, pretending they like me. that sounds like an incredibly fulfilling existence

i started my own company (successful) last year, you think im a loser? i think ive earned a partner who at least has the bare minimum self control to not be a landwhale

i dont even want a really hot girl. just a normal, nice, friendly one. chad gets that for free, including all that 'respect' nonsense. why not me, ive worked for it?

Of course a 10/10 guy will get likes. Even, probably because of, having a crazy profile. That Nasty shit isn't a turn off because it shows confidence. A dude with "I am a terrible person" tattooed on his forehead shows he doesn't give a fuck. Thats a level of hardcore even I can respect if serious. Chicks do to, doesn't mean a normal guy can't succeed. Girls are looking for worthwhile people. Be worthwhile instead of a blackpilled little bitch and you'll do well enough.

Get your personality structured right. Be the kind of person you would want to father your kids if you were a girl.

Oh. Those are not "unattractive girls" then, those are animals. Dating animals is beastiality.

Then your game must suck.

Unemployed thugs don't give a fuck, and that's why they can fuck a lot. But they can't have stable and healthy relationships. (I'm talking from experience)

There are lots of hot girls dating ugly and fat guys. Girls don't give that much importance to looks as we do.

You don't sound like OP. whatever, Love Nazi is dumb. Personal brand comes from deep within, its not a label.

>your still to young to get married
Says who? The younger you marry, the happier your marriage will be.

how is a rapist, drug dealer, gangmember, dole bludger or other dark triad waste a 'worthwhile person'? do you see what im saying now - being hot gives you infinite free passes. not being hot gives you negative goes on the carousel because you get prejudged out of the running

i am. im kind, friendly, intelligent, hard working, worldly and so on. i think of myself as pretty interesting but i imagine everyone does. what the fuck else do i need? oh yeah, a hot face, oh well better luck next time

game doesnt real. its just an attribution error chads make from their success with women to their personality (rather than their looks)

as discussed by some other guy, those guys are rich and the girls dont like them, just the money

Says who?

All my friends are divorced

This really. Our idiot culture has no idea about what real masculinity is, so were all fucked, or unfucked as the case may be. Try to be noble, like a great hero, even if its in small things, or only the image you present to the world. Try to live up to that at least.

Fuck you.
Rejecting women 15 years older than you is not about being picky.
For me, the purpose of dating is to figure out if a woman is a suitable person to be the mother of my children.
There is no point in even meeting a woman if she already disqualifies.
Given we have been fed the lie our entire life that "there are plenty of women out there" or "half the population are women" it makes sense to try to make it happen with women who fit that criteria.

Most dark triad people at least aren't pathetic. Women hate pathetic men. Its true, our culture is fucked, but women aren't inherently attracted to hot guys who are psychopaths, but compared to most of us in the modern world thats a massive evolutionary upgrade. Its worsened because everyone has a sense that all is not well. girls instinctively know not to bet on pussies when shit its the fan. It only exaggerates Chad Syndrome. But it doesn't need to be this way individually or culturally.
Your problem is probably you're a pushover who cannot control himself if he were to get outside his nice stable comfort zone. You'd be a real dick if you let yourself be angry or mean. So you can't reveal that part of yourself, might even pretend it doesn't exist. Girls can quickly sense if you're not all together.
Go on tumblr.com, yes I know, lol. search for a blogger by the name of WarriorMale. read his blog for a bit. If you can get a grip on the mindset he is pumping out. Train & Fight. Become a Manly Man. Its a mindset.
youtube.com/watch?v=a6fCu9kwkp0
Also listen to this song. It sounds like what it feels like to be awesome, a real man, a hero, a badass. But listen to the words too and get yourself into a mindset where you can actually face the world and actually be strong. Girls don't want nice, they want awesome. Nice is a bonus when it comes to kids, but not for fucking or for a sense of security. Seriously, stand up and stop being your bitch-self and be your best self.

a noble hero, like an unemployed thug? what the fuck are you on about

Thug risks his life and freedom to do his crime, sell his drugs whatever. Its brave. way more noble that being a pushover desk jockey. Be worthy of respect. I mean the kind where a man coming back from a battle field would look at your life and say, "my squad-mates dying today so your life could be free, that was all worth it."

Lmao this is fun

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so i should just start destroying things rather than creating them hey. become a psycho headcase, no care for anyone but myself and thats what the people want?

insane glorification of badness

glad you like it! Don't be too much of a dick, lmao, keep my Hinge girls pure!
I'm off now. Its trying arguing with these blackpill weaklings about their insecurities and sheepish personalities hiding behind "muh good lookin chads tho."
I've made my point. Mostly.

personality doesnt real

Dude no.
You seriously missed the point. I'll explain a final time, I'm nearly done. Swap genders, go back to ice age Europe hunting mammoths. What kind of personality do you want in the guy you let fuck you silly and father your children, then care for them and you? Some brown nosing weaver who makes clothing, (ie your Paleolithic desk jockey) or Chadly McAsshole, the great hunter who no one dares challenge because he doesn't take shit from anyone or anything. Who will feed you when the winter comes and who will protect your children from a lion? Do you even care if Chadly beats you a little when you get out of line, if he is willing to stand there and fight the lion off in the end? Literally extrapolate this to the modern day and understand the mysteries of female psychology.
Now, would you rather have Chadly or King Arthur? The chieftain of the tribe, who is kind to you and your child, so brave he protects children that aren't even his own blood and looks after everyone in the group, while shouldering responsibility for every choice he makes. He is so respected the everyone would follow him into the lions cave if thats where he chose to lead them. Isn't this the obvious best guy?
There are plenty of Chadly's with hot bods and plenty of basket weavers with nothing of value to offer, but few King Arthurs. Become a King Arthur.
P.S. I know Guinevere cheated on Arthur with LanceAChad, but thats because Arthur was too trusting and didn't watch after his woman. His weakness lead to his downfall. My point stands.

so in that scenario why wouldnt i just kill chad in his sleep?

also you arent providing any solution - become king arthur? wtf does that mean in actually empirical steps and actions? is it even possible to become what you arent? might as well tell a retard to become high iq

>Be a man worthy of respect, especially the respect of other men
True words right there

I'll explain this because you're beginning to drift in the right direction.
If you kill chad in his sleep there is no one to fight off the lions. Your pathetic weaver skills aren't going to kill a lion, even if you are brave enough to stand and face it, which is, unlikely. Chad protects you, by his presence, even the lions respect his strength. Killing him would make you scum.
Become King Arthur. Step 1. Listen to Jordan B Peterson. There are other people, but he is on the ball and the popular voice, I really like his mythological take on things.
Step 2. Get strong and brave somehow, weights, and fitness or if you can't for some reason do something hard, self-sacrificing and scary. Maybe quit your job for six months to do volunteer work in Africa or something. Prove yourself. It doesn't have to be insane.
I find polarbear plunges to be enough bravery to turn at least a few heads, and I actively enjoy it. Last girl I fucked literally go so turned on that I would swim in the winter lake water we fucked skinnydipping out in the lake. She was cold ofc, but so turned on by the idea it was worth it.
Step 3 Don't act like you're the hotest shit. Have some humility. Pay attention to her, court her. Watch how she reacts, try and understand her mind your mind. Treat her like a princess. Not with the jewelry and shit, but like as a person who is as important as the whole kingdom, if that metaphor makes sense. Don't lower yourself beneath her, but ELEVATE her. Be so awesome you lift her up without looking down on her while you do so.
Step 4 Keep her wanting more, keep her jealous, flirt with other women. Don't cheat on her, but don't be so tied up you couldn't keep her attention on you. Pay the same attention to her. Let her flirt, a little, but make the guys back off after its been a little fun but before she loses control of herself and makes a mistake. Keep it fun to be together. Make everything special. Keep life full of a sense of danger. Be playful too.

Edit: Don't cheat on her, but don't be so tied up you couldn't cheat if she starts to let herself go. Keep her attention on your relationship.

who gives a shit about lions, i kill chad and i have the women. i would use ingenuity to trap the lions or defeat them in some other way. chad would be necessary if we were beasts

i started my own successful company, something 95% of people cant do. any retard can pick things up and put them down ago for years. ive proven myself over and over

this goes completely against what you said earlier. thug chad doesnt give a shit and wins, and now you say to be humble

ok this is more consistent with what you said before, just fuck around and dont care about other people. fuck this

Its a story and metaphor asshole. You think line an engineer, way too literal. I should know, both my parents were engineers.
Company is a win don't disagree, but it obviously isn't worked for you, figure out what your missing. I've really tried to explain this stuff, stayed up late even.
I'm a "Chad" right now because I cannot find any girl worth settling down with. I want to settle down. I know how to settle down, how to make it worthwhile to be with one woman. BUT almost everyone is corrupted in some unacceptable way. So I'm not gonna get uptight about how I would want the world to work, its not the world I live in today. As soon as I find a good girl I'm off this fucking sick carusel.
Thug chad gets laid sure, but he can't maintain a healthy relationship. Stay humble, more like don't become thug chad and be an asshole all the time. Be respectable. Treat her as an equal partner. Jesus its just not radical stuff dude.
If you think step 4 is just fucking around and not caring about other people you missed the point. Flirting is fun. Even, heck, especially, when you're in a relationship. It can get spicy and hot. You can take that fire back to the room with your girl to end the night. It does need to be Puritanism the moment you're going steady with someone. I literally said don't cheat dude. Step 4 is how King Arthur could have kept Guinevere from fucking Lancealot.
Fuck this is right. I tried to help you best I could. You're lost so far up your own ass about how things "should" be 1950s style housewife or some other bullshit that there is no helping you. I gave you the entire fucking blueprint for how to 1 up chad and become a literal King. You chose to fuck off instead. Its not my fault youre a bitch. Its your own fault.
I can't fix the entire culture of dating in our fucked up insane post birthcontrol world. All I can do is tell you what you could do to make it right between you and someone worth making it right with. I'm done. Night.

the world is literal. retards talk about things in vague abstractions (the more retarded the more vague) so that there stupid brainwaves never get put under examination. if they ever did they would be revealed as complete dunces. the world is defined by numbers

i know whats missing, a hot face. i have everything youre supposed to have, nice clothes, my own place, car, great career, lots of friends, hobbies etc. maybe in 5 years i can get a strung out post wall woman to 'settle down with', hooray

flirting is fun if people want you to. girls dont want ugly people to talk to them

you didnt give anything, you just presented an image and said do that with no instructions, reasoning etc. that held up to inquiry. you still cant see that your advice is to 'be like me' when thats not possible (even at the limits of modern cosmetic surgery)

Also chad would probably wake up as the blade goes in, snap your neck as last action on this earth and all the other chads in the group would piss on your corpse which is fed to crows because the lions wouldn't sully themselves with your rotting flesh. On scum would backstab another man. (in the old west its called backshooting). You have the mindset of scum. Its why you fail with women. They can tell. You succeeded the women would torment you until another chad came along, as soon as he arrived the women would convince him into killing you. Fucking christ dude. Think about what you are saying about yourself. How weak you are. Really think about what a coward you are. Stab a man in the back while he is sleeping. Jesus. Just think about it. Seriously, think.

no chad would not wake up from having his brain stem split.

the advice i got is to do whatever you like because youre the only person that matters. i would be alive and have the women and chad would be dead - why do i care what anyone else feels in that situation? women definitely cant sense personality through a computer screen and arent that good at it in real life either

live on your feet for a day rather than a lifetime on your knees. if the choice was between being in chads shadow forever or a brief period of love, id kill chad asap. 'scum' lol, you are a larper

Yes, you can build planes and shit with numbers. Try talking to a girl with fucking spreadsheets. Yeah, Excel really gets the panties wet.
I can't give you an instruction set for this, because the girls don't care if you are following the instruction set. I could take 3 days and write a step by step guide with all the tricks that work and if you followed it to the letter you would still fail because you don't get it with your spirit. This is letter of the law versus spirit of the law. Girls dig the spirit of the law.
If your mindset is right, if you are actually in the zone mentally it almost doesn't matter what you say or do. Its not about looks alone. I don't deny that good looks help. But a good looking guy who's a pussy doesn't get laid, see Elliot Rodger. Ugly guys who are badass do get laid, see literally every boxer ever.

your hands would be shaking trying to do something so outside your comfort zone. As a weaver in the neolithic you wouldn't understand anatomy enough to find a fatal spine severing cut. Bet you couldn't first try in the world today as you are right now.

i can talk to girls fine, apparently 'im a really cool guy but just not right' for them. i have lots of friends from both genders

step by step would work because the end result would be the same. word vs spirit only comes into play during negotiation of abstract principles

thats 50% true, it doesnt matter what you say or do if youre hot. personality wont get you anywhere, think about that blackops freak the incels post

'famous athletes get women' wow crazy. the supreme gentleman was a nutjob, but im not

i would say i would be more likely considering the agrarian culture; most mammals are very similar in that portion of the body. up and into the back of the brain is always fatal

They're ugly "famous athletes". There are things that matter more than looks. Its just rare to have those things in the modern world. Doesn't have to be rare. Just few people pursue these things. Don't ask me why.
You have to get closer to his head where his ears are. he wakes up before the knife goes it. He's a light sleeper, since he needs to be ready at a moments notice to fight off any danger.
This is getting stupid. We can always go back and forth about who would win between Chad and your cowardly backstabbing bitch moves.

My overall point is this.
When there is nothing more important than looks, women and men both care about looks. When there is something more important than looks, be it wealth, fame, power, or say, character, then the women go for that. This is of course also tempered by individual life experience and psychology. Girls get into a habit of only showing interest in guys who are hot, its the quickest thing to analyze on a website, hardest to fake IRL. Doesn't mean its some unbending natural law. You can break the mold, overcome the system thats running.
You can get past looks. Its going to take more work than some handsome chad type, you may not ever been good enough to get a 10/10 but neither are most chads. Most 10/10 girls either settle down fast or end up so full of themselves they get into baby fever before realizing they're alone.
I'm not saying the situation isn't fucked. I am telling you what you could do about it if your main goal wasn't to feel sorry for yourself.

over time, intellect beats strength

but ive done everything your supposed to do and still have nothing. ive worked 5x the amount the average chad ever will in his entire life and still have nothing. women dont give a shit about these things, chad is there and they can have him (if only for a short time - there will always be another chad). he just exists and cleans up, i struggle and still lose

i dont want a 10/10, just someone nice

Why the fuck are two anons arguing over hypothetical cavemen lmfao

Its the morning and still is still stupid. But I chuckled at this so iI'll come back and reply.
>over time, intellect beats strength
according to intellect. lmao. It takes more than either to succeed the way you want to succeed.
>i struggle and still lose
You are struggling in the wrong dimension.
Good looks, 25% good symetry and a bit of physique to show your body is healthy. (I'll give you upto 50% in our fucked cultural situation due to pretty body habit and dating apps skewing the market. default is 25% however.)
Stability + Potential another 25% This is sometimes mistaken as Wealth in the modern day, but dudes who run charities and make shit money but are still IRL CEOs just go out and slay pussy. Its because they're Stable enough to raise a family and have the Potential to take care of her when/if shit goes down.
"Mindset" 50%
Could describe this as Character, or as something like Quality of Self, even Spirituality, priests can slay too. Its hard to make into words. Its why biker gang's slay, badboys slay and soldiers slay. Hard to put to words.
Its mental awesomeness. Its Bravery. Which is why thugs slay. Its not giving a fuck which is why assholes slay. Its being close to the "Ideal" which is why priests slay.
Its why you drink piss tasting whiskey instead of a candy flavored fruity drink. its why Men smoke cigars or a pipe and have leather chairs. Its why guys fight over women. It gets them wet, but the reason it works is because chicks dig awesome above everything.
Why do chick peacocks go after these weird looking peacock dudes with the big tail? Probably because they look awesome to chick peacocks.
If he is awesome enough even the ugliest, contorted, bedridden midget can slay.
Good looking guys are awesome to look at, money is awesome to have. It take an awesome person to earn big money. Girls have instincts for this, but its not like they're not confused as fuck in the modern world too. But you can wake a girl up to what she actually wants.

Because we're just cavemen with smartphones. If you can figure out what that really means, not the bullshit you imagine it to mean, you can slay pussy. I'm trying to help this guy realize he can slay too with a bit of a mental shift.

contradictory abstract nonsense. i started my own company, i earn big money, im more stable than some fucking biker meth head. the fact you cant articulate the point entails that its illusory

what you said about killing people in your way seems a lot more efficient and less error prone though

Never pay for dating sites/apps. A number of profiles on there are fake. I talk about this in my book Pickup Artist Bible.