Gf and i have been dating for about 3 months now

>gf and i have been dating for about 3 months now
>couple of days ago we go out for drinks and food with some of her friends
>yesterday she texts me saying we need to talk
>when we do talk she says that her friends noticed and told her that i don't pay for her when we were out and instead opt to split the bill
>she tells me as her boyfriend i should be paying for her

here's the thing, she makes way more money than me. at least 5x as much. i'm in grad school right now making $13/hr.

what irks me is that she's receiving unsolicited advice from her friends about what i should and shouldn't be doing based on like 2-3 brief encounters with me. not taking into account that i do foot the bill a lot of the times. i don't make a lot of money right now, she should know this and now it's at the point where if she's no longer willing to split meals and activities, i can't afford to be in this relationship financially speaking.

can anyone shine some perspective on this? like i'm being told that me not paying is totally unacceptable by her and her friends. the way i've dated in the past we always split it. it's just easier that way than to essentially merge finances this early on. i get that her friends are looking out for her to make sure that she's treated well but i just feel this is a bit unfair of them when they don't see how i treat her the other 97% of the time.

am i being ridiculous? i just felt blindsided by this and it made me feel like my gf didn't even notice all the other times i've pulled my weight just because her friends noticed that i didn't pay for her at a dinner.

Attached: Dating.jpg (2048x1536, 326K)

nah shes being dumb, I'm a woman and I split the bill all the time with my bf, and sometimes I'll pay for everything or he'll pay for everything, depends.

I'd send her a text back that says
>we should probably break up then
Just to take her bullshit to it's absurd conclusion and then see what she says. But I've always been a dick like that to my gfs.

this guys advice is terrible, you don't jump to "we should break up" over a small dispute like this ffs

women in modern times, i swear
women complain about being treated like sex objects. Men need to start complaining and calling women on their shit for treating men like success objects.
she's a grown ass woman with a good job. She can split the fucking bill until you two decide your getting engaged, married, moving in together, whatever. Its [current year], and youre not courting her formally like its 1890.

The fact she bowed to her friends so quickly is a bad sign.
The fact she thinks that things should change just for the approval of her friends is a bad sign.

That's all I'm going to say.

I'd send it as soon as I got her text.
>as my boyfriend you should be paying for me
>oh no guess we'd better break up then
Answering her absurdity with mine. Plus it takes the conversation immediately off paying for dates and onto her bitching about my sense of humor or whatever, but by that point I've already won, the heat is off. They've only been going out for 3 months it's not like she's anyone special to him if she blows it out of proportion.

Since OP probably went all beta and started spluttering trying to accommodate her this probably wouldn't work for him at this point

This x10000000000

op here. good to know that i'm not crazy. what do you guys think about the unsolicited advice from her friends thing?

i get that friends talk, but this isn't something i could ever see myself doing. to tell my friend that his girlfriend isn't treating him right seems totally out of bounds. having guy friends tell my girlfriend that i should be treating her better is even more unacceptable for me. if they have something to say, say it to me, right?

i'm not worried about them trying to make a move or anything, they are mostly all in relationships anyways it's just that doesn't seem cool at all to me.

it's not always like that. it's abiut a guy wooing her. he is acting like a friend. if a guy likes a girl he will pay for things sometimes as a gesture. if a guy always asked me to split I would split. treat her and she will treat you. this isn't a business transaction. I doubt op has any real feelings anyway and should take his securitities and cheapskateness and go.

Only time you should be paying is if you're treating her. Otherwise you either take it in turns or split the bill. This should've been the norm as soon as women stopped being housewives and earned their own money. It's incredibly stressful forking out for everything and watching her treat herself to nice clothes and what not with all the spare cash she has. Was a big part of one of my past relationships breaking down. Selfishness becomes very hard to stomach when you're supposed to be a team

Have a grown up talk with her where you explain the situation. Clearly state how much you are making, how much she is making and then ask if it makes sense for you to shoulder all the weight.

Explain to her that in any relationship there is giving and taking. Insisting on taking based on complaints from friends while she knows your financials is immature.

So it boils down to: Have a grown up talk with her, and see how she responds to all of this. If she is immature see if you can bridge the differences, and see if she grows up over time. If you're not holding your ground it can cause complications over time. If she turns out to inconsiderate over time you will see you have a shitty partner and you should considering ending the relationship.

it's called looking out for their friend. they don't know you. why would they go behind their friends back to talk to you?

op here, i'm not going to argue with you because i take your point but i want to make clear that i do treat her. this whole conversation arose because in a group setting i opted to split and pay my share and we all venmo'd her. it's not like i never pay for her. we're going to new york tomorrow i paid for her flight for god's sake.

get rid of the golddiger now :)

i have a friend who is dating a total loser. he's an ex-con, still deals in that stuff. when we did a double date he told me all this stuff and asked that i not tell my friend. i didn't, it's none of my business. if you're a guy and you have a problem with another guy say it to him, don't tell his girlfriend what the problem is. that's just asking for a mess.

Sounds like she is a stupid cunt if she values her retarded whore of friends opinions more than yours and what you both have, she is being selfish for retarded shallow approval, dump the stupid whore.

damn OP, it's male friends? fuck that shit. I'd tell her there's the door if she wants someone else, GFTO.
fucking beta orbiters

for

>The fact she bowed to her friends so quickly is a bad sign.
>Sounds like she is a stupid cunt if she values her retarded whore of friends opinions more than yours
I agree. But honestly, all women are like this. They all love to turn to their friends to talk about relationship problems rather than talking openly about it with their boyfriend.

Some guys choose to pay for their dates, some don't. If she makes more money, she should probably be paying for you. #Equality

Don't take any shit from women.

It's an early shit test.

Just tell he you think she's great but if she only wants to date on your wallet then you cannot afford her and she might as well get a rich guy.

If she walks then she's a bitch and did you a favour, plenty more fish in the sea.

emotionally abusive/manipulative.
Friends are going to give advice. If you try and tell her that you don't like her friends/don't want her talking to them, that's a slippery slope into a super toxic and resentful relationship. I think she wants to feel more "taken care of" and important. I would sit her down and say "hey, listen, I hear what you're saying, but here's how much I make and I really can't afford to do more right now. I'd love to, and in the future when I make more money, I plan to. Is there anyway I can show you how special you are without money?"
and then it's an opportunity to talk about eachothers love languages.
As some one else said, if she keeps it up and wants to pitch a fit and bust your balls, she's being childish and shallow. This is coming from a female. If you state it nicely and non offensively, and give her time to express what she's feeling, her reaction in the end really and truly should be understanding. If not. Gold digger.

this is the only proper answer
based and redpilled

Based

This.
There are enough absolute losers who get their gfs to pay for everything. If a girl wants to have a serious sit down talk with you about what her friends (!) think about you not paying, then it is a massive red flag.

This, OP. Relationships rely on communication. If you don't or choose not to communicate when things get difficult, then your relationships are never going to work.

And if she shouts you down or shuts you out, refuses to communicate, and won't be understanding when you approach with empathy and reason? Then you know for sure that she is the one who won't put in the work to make it work.