I spent the past 3 years in a bubble of lifting, working, smashing sloots on occasion.
I rarely socialize except online with old friends and family. I don't watch any sports. I don't keep up with politics. I don't watch Netflix, any Hollywood media, I don't even play video games.
I live, i work, I feed myself and that's really about it, sort of like prison.
As a result I can barely relate to anyone. I can't even connect with turbo nerds.i have no friends, my parents are almost dead, and I'm pretty fucking alone - the few coworkers I do have make me feel even more isolated.
I post on Jow Forums and leddit every day and this is my window into the world and other people--not face to face human interaction.
I suffered a lot of trauma-inducing losses in the past couple years also, moving away from my best friends, some friends of mine actually dying including one of my closest ones, and I don't want to connect with anyone because I know it'll just end.
They say life is all about relationships but I just despise the idea of constantly rotating people in and out of my life. I want someone to fucking stay, and if they don't just leave me alone. Help
Watching this because I'm 32 and if I don't motivate myself, it's possible to spend about a week at a time before absolutely needing to open my apartment door for anything. No one texts, calls, or stops by. It's my fault and I'm looking to change it.
Zachary Evans
Honestly there's no reason to rejoin society that you won't give yourself. We could tempt you out for a day or two but little more. I'm not sure why isolated life is stigmatized but it shouldn't be. If you want to live with yourself and only yourself, that's totally valid.
On the other hand I don't think you're going to find a lifelong connection easily. The good news is you're like as not to find it both on the internet and real life-- it's not like one is going to have higher chances, or less shitty people. So that's something.
Brayden Harris
You rotate people in and out of your life until you find the ones that do stay. The rotation is part of the finding. Let me know how to rotate people in though, I never learned that bit.
Hudson Wood
come on man tf you talking about youre telling us a story a sad deppressed fag that lived in an island by itself and a coconut that was raped several times come on man dont be a pussy, just be yourself man, sometimes ppl just dont give a fuck about how fkn akward you are, they stay because they want to fkn socialize or idk also srry for bad english u know that story i encorage u to become a fkn sexual predator out there in the social world! :*
Nicholas Hill
Wtf did I just read
Lucas Davis
I feel like this started out really optimistically and then you either went off the rails for a joke or are just as hopeless as the rest of us in this thread.
Dominic Davis
lol guys ok so rn im at work, im college drop out computer science eng, i know what i do but too lazy for school desu. okok back to the story, i havent sleep since saturday so im having a sort of mental breakdown every 2 or 3 min and also thanks to 4 monsters that i drunk from today and other 5 from yesterday, i would say im a little conserned about my mental health.. so yeah i meant to say all those things seriously but, idk what happen at the end
Joshua Price
> but I just despise the idea of constantly rotating people in and out of my life. I want someone to fucking stay, and if they don't just leave me alone. Unfortunately this is just how life is. I had like 5 people I considered real close friends over a year ago. Now I have but one left, but that one friend is one of BF. Rotations happen for one reason or the other. You have to shuffle through the cards to find the goods ones. You can't just not play the game, otherwise you will not win. > I know it'll just end. Everything ends though man. You can't keep going through your life worrying about how people are going to be years ahead of now. Just try to be a good person, and be friendly with the people you have now. LIVE IN THE NOW, user. If you like lifting find somebody that shares that interest, and see if you can bond with them.
How do I play the game? I'm a decent enough person but I think I missed that day in class.
Caleb Flores
try just to ask somebody what you missed last day, i mean thats like methaforically (not sure if that word exists lol) talking but somehow you gotta open yourself to others desu.
Carson James
>How do I play? Well I met a lot of my friends clubs, school, and sometimes from work. You talk to those people at said places, and if they seem cool then you see if they are open to the idea of seeing you outside of where you primarily go. Then you just hang out, and test the waters with that person and try to have a good time.
Nicholas Jackson
>Everything ends though man. You can't keep going through your life worrying about how people are going to be years ahead of now. Just try to be a good person, and be friendly with the people you have now. LIVE IN THE NOW, user.
Seems degenerate and psychopathic
Samuel Kelly
People don't usually go for that kind of vulnerability, do they? You get a lot of blank stares. How do you know if they're into that? What if they're not and you're stuck being the weirdo flailing around for friends unaware of the fact that no one wants to hang out with you because you're weird and they just don't have the heart to tell you directly. This is normally way past where I'd have diverted the fuck out of this conversation, but it's anonymous and maybe it'll finally help.
Connor Wright
im trying to say that just start with basic stuff that normally ppl would not do, like saying hi first or asking something idk, but people like that because they think you care for them and blablabla
Jacob Reed
Yeah man, I've got the starting parts really easy. I'm good at conversation though I tend to start dominating the conversation if I'm not careful. The people at work are supposed to pretend to like you a little, it helps the work day move along and not be a toxic shitheap. My question is how do you know if they really like you enough to hang out and if they don't, what do you do then? I still have to work with these people.
Aaron Price
Wowowow user your going nuts on this one I think its not the fact of knowing if that person is doing what you are thinking, desu nobody would never know what other person is thinking, like for example i have a friend that we met 5 years ago and i thought we were bff but out of the sudden he just leaves me, why idk thats what im trying to say, all your coworkers may think you like to be with them and u might think that they hate your existence, its just the matter of perspective, and probably to do not over think everything user
Camden Gutierrez
Man, what? I've had twenty years to think about this and I've come to the conclusion that it's better to not be around than be the retarded fucker in the room everyone tolerates just enough not to tell off. The problem is that I want to have friends, I'm just not sure if it'll end in being the retarded fucker.
Luke Walker
Lol nah user i think ur overthinking everything and also u wanna be on top of everyone or idk
John James
An Hero before it gets any worse.
Isaiah Green
I'm definitely overthinking it because I don't have any experience and am imagining all the ways it could go wrong. What does the second part mean?
Gavin Reyes
I have Aspergers and a fair number of other stuff. Depersonalization for example. I really don't want to make a list. It only reminds me of things I don't want to be reminded about.
But, in short, it fucking sucks. Everything takes more effort. And I keep on having the sensation that I don't exist. It's a terrible thing, to not exist. Your life passes, things break down and you know you could fix things if you could just do something. But you can't, because you don't exist. And no motivation will help. Not hunger, not thirst, not lust, not love, not any of the senses. Inside a part of me is screaming to wake up and do something, anything but I can't.
And I've run out of ways to compensate, to manage. And the only time I feel anything approaching positive is when I dream away. And for a while I truly believe I am someone else, someone happier. but at the end I remember who I am and I crash.
And I tried to remove all bad things from my life. Now, I'm at a fairly good place, physically. I should be happy. But I know they'll come back. And my body is permanently in a state of fight/flight. Every noise makes me startle.
I wish I could live alone. I wish I could lock my house and know that I was alone and no one was near and I would be safe. I don't know if I would be happy, I don't know if I can still be happy. But it's better than this. It's gotto be better than this.
