I'm a 25 year old woman and I want to start dating

Yeah, flirting doesn't work

I think I'm just unlikeable, not pretty enough.

>If you're THAT clueless, just go on as many dates as you can and see with who it works.

Hah, I can't even go on one date, let alone many

> befriend them and eventually go on a date.

I can befriend people but I can't get them to go on a date with me, I don't know how

Have you tried posting on /soc/?

That's a porn and hookup board

>I can't get them to go on a date with me, I don't know how
"Hey, wanna do/go activity_of_your_choice"

Not exclusively.

Nothing wrong with hookups, why not give it a try?

They can be pretty awkward and dispiriting.

Just like relationships can be.

Good point, be volcel.

Where are you OP? I could take you out on a date. Just a date and nothing more so you get some practice.

>25
>start
lol

Yes I've asked out guys, but I get rejected

Can you believe I got rejected by a 26 year old 300lb+ virgin? That was a real blow to my self esteem

I've done hookups before in my early twenties, didn't enjoy it. And I'm lonely, hookups just make you feel more lonely

UK

Getting rejected by unattractive people is not that surprising. He probably thought you was joking and then sperged out about what to do.

>300lb+
That's horrible. But... Are you yourself also overweight?

This sounds like you have a low self esteem problem. I had a similar problem from being too introverted that would not change until I changed my lifestyle and noticed that slowly I was becoming more sociable. You will need to change what your lifestyle is. Either pick up a hobby or start working out.

As for the type of man to actually date this is a difficult to answer question but you will have to do some mental exercise and remember all the men you ever interacted with throughout your life and figure out which one(s) stood out and why. Were they smart? Strong? Confident? Strong-willed? Tall? Thin? Bulky? Comforting? Just be careful of guys that toy with your emotions but don't seem to really care for who you are.

Uhhh

They should look like someone who is attractive to you. There is no general guideline that we can give you. Try to find someone who is mature enough to hold conversation and make rational decisions but childish enough that you have fun with them.

I have my own guidelines that I follow for women;

>above 5', below my height of 5'11"
>hair and skin color doesn't matter but preference to white with blonde/red hair
>Able to hold an intelligent conversation but also have a similarly (to mine) crude sense of humor
>not obese, not sickly thin
>relatively nice teeth
>if they have no ass I have to pass, I don't care about breast size
>kind, caring, empathetic, not completely soulless

That's about it for me.

I also screen people based on their vocabulary - as an example if they reuse my wording over and over in conversation or if they reuse certain words in excess (such as but not limited to "like" and/or "literally") I am disinterested. I literally think that like only dumb people do these thing and I literally, like, don't dig that. Literally.

I just made myself mad

No it wasn't like that

Plus he flirts with other girls and isn't shy around them at all

Yes but nowhere near as overweight as him, I'm below 200lbs

I have a social life and go out most weeks, I have no problem socialising

I feel like I can't get an attractive man because very unattractive men reject me, so there's no way I'd have a chance with an attractive one

Have you tried losing weight?

Even when I wasn't overweight I couldn't get anything more than a hookup, so it doesn't make a difference.

>I feel like I can't get an attractive man because very unattractive men reject me, so there's no way I'd have a chance with an attractive one

Don't go for unattractive men, guys see that and it makes you gross by association.

Well it does. If you are overweight it will make guys less likely to want to stay with you in a relationship.

I just told you that when I wasn't overweight guys didn't want to be in a relationship with me

Well it's certainly not helping either

Men and women alike like to think their partner is discerning. No one wants to date someone who seems like they'd settle for anyone, they want someone who likes them in particular. You have liked people so you have tastes, but they didn't like you back, maybe it was just bad luck, or maybe you need to budge on some superficial criteria, but you can't be thinking "What do I need to like to find a person who likes me?"

user is saying it's even less likely if you are. You can justify not changing to yourself by saying no one liked you before, but why would an attractive guy care about your body if you don't?

Several real things you can do. In no particular order but do them all.
1. Befriend older women. Older women want to find a good girl for their sons or nephews or even young men they are impressed with and will constantly play matchmaker.
2. Choose two thing you have interest in and join a club or association. Could be a cooking class, learn a foreign language class, yoga class, amateur sports, biking club, etc. This exposes you to more people and even if the classes don't have a lot of men the women become part of your man search network. They have brothers, friends, coworkers, sons, nephews, cousins and could invite you to meet them.

>This exposes you to more people and even if the classes don't have a lot of men the women become part of your man search network. They have brothers, friends, coworkers, sons, nephews, cousins and could invite you to meet them.

The man search network is the bane of my existence, I just want to live my life as a large penised full time doctor and firefighter, but my mom, aunts and coworkers keep informing on me to the network. I'm never safe, gotta get off the grid.

>I'm a 25 year old woman and I want to start dating.
Wtf? You're a 25 y/o woman and you have yet to start dating? What have you been doing the past 25 years that prevented you from meeting people romantically? You really should have had some experience under your belt by now. Especially because you are 25 now which means that, given the fact that you're a woman, you are in slow decline in terms of your attractiveness. Dating won't get easier for you from now on.

>I'm not sure what kind of man to pursue.
This kinda comes back to my previous answer. You should have build up some dating experience by know so you know what 'type' of guy you're into. But given that you're totally clueless about what kind of guy you want. Best thing to do is to date a broad scale of guys and see what you like most. If you're able to get plenty of dates though. We don't know how attractive/unattractive you are obviously.

You're late. Time to lower your standards and go for 6/10 salarymen aged 29-35.

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I really wanted to get dates when I was younger but no one was interested in me romantically

I know that time is running out so I need advice on how to get dates, because so far I've failed miserably

You get dates the way any other person does. In this day and age that means mostly by going out to bars/clubs and using online dating sites. It's possible to meet people within your social circle and other kinds of social events, but i don't consider those very reliable methods of finding romance. The quality of the prospects may be higher but your social circle is likely too small to offer enough options.

Like you mentioned in an earlier post, online dating can be tricky because you'll come across a lot of guys who are strictly looking for sex instead of relationships. But if you know how to dig through the mud, there are plenty of guys you'll find on tinder/bumble who are quite open to long-term dating and relationships.

But it works doesn't it user? If you were in the market the network would have girls lined up for you.

I've been on dating sites for over a year and literally haven't found anyone who was willing to go on a date rather than just hookup (one of them even asked if I wanted to be paid!)

I've never found anyone in bars and clubs or hobby groups

Chances are you're only swiping right on the top 5-10% of guys (like nearly all women do on tinder), who are too high value and attractive to settle down for a probably mediocre woman like you. If you consider swiping right on guys who are possibly a little less hot than the top-tier chads, you'll find guys who are open to going on real dates.

I swipe right on everyone until my swipes run out

>Minor shit like sitting next to him more than once (when given a choice of seating), initiating more than one conversation with him on your own volition. It'll basically make any guy think 'oh she might be interested in me'
I don't think that would be enough. A qt coworker at my workplace have been behaving exactly like this for a long time and it's never occurred to me that she might be interested.

It just gets annoying how my mom will brag about me to any young single woman. "My firefighter/doctor son rescued 100 kids from an orphanage fire and gave them all skin grafts using a small fraction of the skin from his massive cock! Do you want his number?" I don't do it for the pussy, it's my calling.

>But I'm not sure what kind of man to pursue. How old should they be, what should they look like and what should their personality be like?
sounds like you have more issues than just dating

Like what?

you are not even aware of yourself, to the extent you don't even know what kind of men you are attracted to. This is not a put-down, but it does sound like you have major self-esteem problems too. Perhaps interact with others more frequently too, and get off the bloody internet.

I know who I'm attracted to, but the kind of guys I'm attracted to aren't attracted to me

I'm asking what kind of guy I should pursue who will want to be with me, even if I'm not necessarily that attracted to them

Anyone would have self-esteem issues if you get to the age of 25 without ever finding a romantic relationship

stop being a fat cow

Mind telling us your height/weight? To gauge if you are just chubby or seriously too fat.

161lbs, 5'4, although I've been at lower weights

it would be all too easy to repeat some meme-tier crap like "be yourself" or "lose weight" or worse, find someone who has a fetish for whatever unusual or unattractive trait is preventing you from finding a proper mate.

But I'll be nice instead: for the next few months, work on yourself instead of thinking about men; go and do some exercise, not just to lose weight, but to feel better, maybe even make some friends at the gym or sports class (pilates?) and feel more confident. Join some meet-ups about stuff you enjoy or would enjoy doing, you might surprise yourself. Join some clubs or something social?

Have a little pampering if you can afford it, and if you can't make some more money so you can: get hair done, get some nice clothes, some nice perfume, that kind of thing.

Meeting a partner is usually dependent on having a decent circle of friends (online apps etc are generally mostly for casual sex it would seem). So try and expand your group of friends, so that way you get to meet more nice people, and get to know them before getting romantically involved (in case they're an awful bollocks up close and personal).

And smile and try and be less of a drag in general, be more upbeat and bubbly, that's more attractive than just a hot body.

I hope my meagre advice is of some help.

I mean,that;sall stuff I already know. I doubt that losing weight will help as even when I was thin no one wanted me.

I have a social life, I go out three times a week, I have a relatively sizable social circle. I have no problem making friends

This is why the situation feels hopeless

A romantic relationship before you are 25 doesn't produce a good outcome for most of us OP so I think you are overly concerned. I understand it from an ego standpoint but very few young relationships last without bad behavior from one or both participants.

Also, don't settle, too many do and it ends in disaster

>I doubt that losing weight will help as even when I was thin no one wanted me.
Post of pic of yourself.

>I mean,that;sall stuff I already know. I doubt that losing weight will help as even when I was thin no one wanted me.
self-esteem issues right there
>I have a social life, I go out three times a week, I have a relatively sizable social circle. I have no problem making friends
going out doing the wrong sort of thing, no doubt, with the wrong group of friends.
>This is why the situation feels hopeless
why change a winning formula, eh?

Look, you're going to have t accept you'll have to start doing things differently then. That's all.

I'm convinced you need to seriously step up your inner game. Your self doubt is setting yourself up for failure. Even when you were slimmer you failed because without confidence any suitable guys will be turned off. And EVEN IF you somehow get lucky and land a guy if you don't address this confidence issue that guy will eventually realize what you lack and will either resent you, break off the relationship, or cheat on you.

urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=inner game

That is still a lot. Start with a workout you want to do and then do it.
I recently started to be serious about loosing weight and it is much easier than I thought it would be.
Step 1. Stop eating unless you need to.
Eat a single healthy and balanced meal at noon and then skip the other 5 meals.
This is easier than eating something specific as you can be as social as you have always been.
Step 2. Drink water instead of whatever you currently drink.
Step 3. Workout 20-45 minutes / day and do it every day.
Step 4. Go for a walk. Hitting a goal for how much you walk each day is good for you and it is a good way to get "away" from your bad habits.
I have done this for 3 months now and I have already lost 23kg.
My face looks better, my arms look better, and I am at the state where I actually enjoy it.
I had to buy some weights and an cordless headset, but I also saved that much money in food so it isn't a total bust.
When I started, I could barely walk up the stairs to the second floor. Now I can run 5k in the morning before taking the bike to work.
My confidence is so much better and I catch people noticing me now. It feels great.

>Look, you're going to have t accept you'll have to start doing things differently then. That's all.

Change what though? I've been fat and thin throughout my life and it's the same

Who are the right group of friends to socialise with? Where do I find them? Hobby groups? I go to life drawing and public lectures already

Thanks, I'll look into that

I know how to lose weight. I've been thin before and I didn't catch anyone noticing me then.

I have friends who are fat and have relationships, I don't think that's the problem

>Ive done hookups before in my early twenties
>not virgin
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