How to tell if a coworker is sincerely asking you to have lunch with them?
What I’ve learned from social relationship is that if someone offers you to grab a lunch with them, they might not actually mean it, they might only do it out of courtesy, because they don’t want you to see them as mean people, right? But how do I tell if they’re being sincere about it? Because I don’t want to be rude, and I also don’t want to make them uncomfortable with me saying yes to their offer and surprise them like “whoa, I didn’t expect you to say yes. Ok, this is gonna be awkward...”
If they ask you. Answer based on whether or not you want to.
Xavier Lee
I don’t want to upset people, I don’t want to make them associate my existence with discomfort, weirdness or awkwardness. That’s why I always disappear during lunch, it’s more comfortable that way. But I also feel sad that I’m the only one being left out in my team, even the new guy gets along already, I’ve been here for 6 months and it’s like I’m just 3 days in.
It makes me sad that ppl can be more comfortable with the newer guys than with me. But I don’t blame them though.
Noah Fisher
I never wanted to. But sometimes I feel like I have to go, to strengthen my bond with them and make them see me as important too (in terms of informal social dynamics).
Bentley Nelson
Grow the fuck up kid, it's just fucking lunch, the fuck is wrong with you
Michael Johnson
Not everyone thinks the same as you bro, some people have social anxieties.
John Fisher
Yeah but I don’t want to be in a situation where I’m causing discomfort for them. It’s my biggest fear, I don’t want them to see me as weird and unapproachable. I know I am, but I don’t want them to see me that way.
It’s not just a lunch. I mostly don’t want to be with anyone, it’s more comfortable for me to be alone (I’m not happy alone but comfort is better than happiness). If I don’t really want to be with them, being with them will make me very quiet and awkward. But sometimes I feel like I just have to be with them, to not make them think of me badly.
Jacob Johnson
>I don’t want them to see me as weird and unapproachable. So shut the fuck up and go. You probably cause them more discomfort by being so asocial and they wonder when you'll shot up the place.
Ayden White
But I can’t tell when they’re being sincere or not. Read up, I said I know that not all offers are sincere, some of them just do it out of courtesy, without expecting us to go.
Brody Peterson
It doesn't really matter. Socialising is better than not socialising. If it turns THAT bad, no one will invite you again, don't worry.
Brody Allen
What do people think when I refuse their offer? Like, usually only one or two (in a pack of 6 ppl) offerred to me out of courtesy. The absence of me is not gonna suck anyway.
Grayson Wilson
"Why does this sperg hate us?"
Connor Adams
Most people are not in the charity business. If they invite you to something simple like lunch, they mean it.
Meanwhile, from the outside shyness and social anxiety look a lot like aloofness. Turn down enough offers and they will get the impression that YOU don't like THEM.
Lucas Ward
"grabbing lunch" sounds a lot more casual than the constipated British "Ooh, you must really come round for dinner sometime!" I'd say go for it, assuming you want to.
Ryder Rogers
But I’m polite though and I smile too.
Well ok I mean I’ll look at everyone’s faces first. If they all look like they also mean it, then I’ll go.
I mean idk, why don’t they think I’m just shy and anxious? It’s like I’m mad at them, I always smile and greet. I just want them to understand that I’m just shy.
Dylan Bennett
What if I MIGHT want to, but afraid of not being able to be fun and not be boring?
Dominic Wright
not speaking because your mouth is full is a perfectly polite way to spend lunch.
Thomas Scott
No, I’m also not speaking when we’re waiting for the food and on the way to the place. I’m just REALLY shy. Even at work, I almost never speak.
Austin Gonzalez
protip: browse Jow Forums for the latest news and gossips and get some talking points so you can make small talk on the way to lunch
Mason Young
What if femanon always sits alone and declines to sit with us? She sat with us for some time and then went back to sitting alone She'll come by and say hi, can hold a convo but chooses to sit alone I guess she doesn't mind, but I cant help bu feel bad
