Why can't guys here confess to girls that they like?

Fuck really? I guess men end up asking women out because their sick of the suspense and longing? Just to get it over with? I really feel that though, whenever he flirts with me and cares about me I just see it as him being a nice and friendly guy so I guess it's the same with men too?

I have no crushes. I don't know any women.

Because im afraid and unexperienced and not suit to find a good girl. For example in the rare cases where I get indications and interactions where it clicks, Im too retarded in that moment to make it into something more.

I'm really sorry to hear this user, but I assure you will find someone that appreciates you :)

Even if it's like boardline sexual talk? Or her saying that she cares about you? Ect ect ?

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>Legitimate question from a femanon, if a girl you find attractive, gorgeous, beautiful and good looking, and she gives you a lot of indications that she loves you back

You see..you women...have options. A LOT of them.
You expect every guy to shoot his shot even when the odds are against him? Besides, women get told they're cute/hot all the time. They want nothing to do with men they don't find attractive. Only Chad & Tyrone.
Also, from looking at a girl perspective: would you really want some random thirsty dude just confess his interest in you just because of your looks? Why could he go from there? At some point, the man wants to fuck/date you.

Plus: Women are mean with rejection/leading men on

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Pretty much exactly the same.

First of all, no girl ever said they cared about me. Second of all, I dont even know what sexual talk is or how it works.

I do, and I have. And the results were amazing. And I'm not kidding.

Because they're scared.

That's the gist of it. It's terrifying. Horribly so. You chicks have no idea how much of the hard work we do in the relationship, and you don't always understand how you affect us.
If the president of the united states came to my little town and called me an uncle-fucking retard who'd never amount to anything, I'd laugh and move on. He's the president, but he can't actually touch anything about a law-abiding bumfuck like me.

There's a reason the term "mother nature" is so prevalent. Females "are" nature, as far as our species is concerned. Your rejection hurts, and serialized rejection is downright catastrophic, a symptom of a permanent deficiency that Darwinism will not forgive.
When so much as asking too soon or too late can earn you that rejection, it makes asking really, really fucking hard, especially nowadays. You gotta be a real gentleman or face the cardigan-wearing dykes in HR.

If you have someone in particular you want, then be the easiest non-naked girl in the world Be the first to make physical contact with him. That's the big one. At that point, I've seen some people just snap together, like magnets that come too close to each other.

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I see

No the crush I'm interested in, he doesn't " like" me just because of my looks, but idk if he really does like me. He and I are really similar yet different people but we mesh really well. He said he respects me and thinks that I'm a great person and that he cares about me, but yeah lol. I made this thread to see what other guys would say, because my crush is pretty insecure about himself so I wanted to know more and it turns out that we have the same insecurities /: even in conversation. And yeah your right about women having a lot of options, but even though men hav hit on me, including " chad" I just don't want them I want him and no one else

This OP

It's scary and it's hard and although I understand why they do it, women tend to turn guys down really hard and often in unnecessarily mean/cruel terms just to get their point across.

Also if you think it's easy to spot when a girl likes you then you're delusional. Women are, hands down, the shittest at giving adequate "hints" that they like you. The amount of shit "hints" I've heard/read women talk about is just mind boggling. No, laughing at my jokes and touching my arm is not some hardcore flirting tactic that will instantly let me know you're into me. You might think that, but I've come across far more women in my life who will do those things with absolutely no romantic intent at all.

If you want a guy to ask you out then do yourself a favour and help him out with some better hints.

This has to be bait. Why would you be surprised that men suffer from these same "does she like me" kind of insecurities? Going out with a guy is high risk for women, he might turn out to be a rapist or whatever, but asking a woman out is high risk for men.

I dont think its bait. I think its sweet.

Yeah I think so, I mean like I think I'm pretty confusing to him because I am also sacred of being rejected. I have said a lot of things to him that does come across as mean, but I was just scared. Like he showed me a video of something that he thought was funny and I was like " that's not fucking funny LOL your humor sucks" and in a group chat with a mural friend of ours ( he's a guy too) I did say to him that he should stop recycling memes, and his friend discouraged him from posting memes onto his Instagram. He said to me, because he also made fun of him for it.. I did apologise to my crush though and he said it wasn't my fault but I'm not sure, when my crush made me upset I didn't say it was his fault but it contributed to it. I'm an idiot, because I do confusing stuff because I'm scared. However I can get a bit clingy to him when he doesn't respond to me sometimes, and he does the same. Whenever he feels like he can't sleep I say to him over text that I can massage him and hold him to sleep, and he seems like he wants that because he said he'd like it . So I'm not sure

> I want him and no one else.
Got his phone number?
If you know him well, just call him up and ask him if he can come over, right now.
Do it, sister. No reason not to. That's literally the best advice I can give you.

You got some crazy shit waiting for you on the other side of that phone call. You just gotta do it, same way you jump into a cold pool. You can call in tomorrow, if you have to. If you do literally A thing some retard on the internet tells you, go call him now.

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Scared that I have got it wrong and that I will be rejected. I have had that happen before and I've lost the motivation to do it now.

Nothing wrong with banter but if you're saying shit that's actually mean then those are some crazy mixed signals. I've been with women who do this kind of thing where they treat you like dirt, especially in front of other people (your group chat) but then will turn around and send nudes at 1am saying how much they wish you could be spooning right at that minute.

It's not okay as far as flirty behaviour goes. It's rude and disrespectful in the highest order. Asking a woman out is high risk, and you're expecting him to surmount this obstacle when you give him wildly mixed signals. Get over yourself and treat him consistently or he's never going to bother trying his luck.

This. My girlfriend pushed and pushed and eventually I made the plunge and that's eight years' history.

The fact is that men already stood to lose so much. Now, every bitch I see with eyeliner I assume is gonna MeToo me if I brush against her the wrong way so I keep like a five foot berth and make deliberate eye contact, smile, and then immediately look the Hell away. It's scary for men not just because we are-- and always have been-- venturing into the belly of the beast when asking out women and taking forays toward romance, but now we're dealing with these political agendas and ideologies regarding romance. Not the least of these is that being straight is somehow damnable or a slight against your character-- I've legitimately had it held against me in social situations.

It's always been unknown but now that we've got evidence, it seems like we were barely scratching the surface of what we truly didn't know.

I'm not holding my breath, user. Thank you for the kind words, though.

You should actually follow up on your offer to massage him. Once physical intimate contact is made his masculine instincts will take over and things should just take off from there.
Just give him encouragment and place his hand around your waist and stuff and see how he responds

In my very own personal experience it goes away as you get older and stop giving a fuck.

>and she gives you a lot of indications that she loves you back
Reading signals is a very dangerous game, especially when you're young and stupid, and it only takes one mistake to fuck up your mental state do varying degrees, depending on the person. And both sexes usually fail to properly send clear indicators, so what might be a blatant "I want to smell your dick right now" might go over out heads.

default reason I'm sure for most here would be "she's out of my league".

Men would have a better idea of what their "league" was if we ever got compliments.

No, you get a good sense of what "your league" is by being self aware and rational. That being said, your "league" measurement is a good guide, but not a law.

Yes but you're assuming that people will ever be able to judge their own appearance rationally among all their anxieties and complexes and self-loathing.

It's real easy to say that you're good at a certain thing with objective measures but it's real hard to say you're average or above average or good looking without external indications.

Because the idea that "you can just try again with someone else" is complete bullshit.
I've seen this happen with other people I know. They try to ask a girl out, she goes "lol no way are you serious I couldn't believe you did that," and from then on the poor sod who asked her out will be forever stigmatized as "the thirsty guy who asked Stacy out," which makes asking further girls out exponentially harder as a lot of them will flat out deliberately ignore the poor guy.

I've seen this exact same thing happen on 5 different occasions, so you better fucking know I'm not going to try unless I'm 105% sure this woman is going to be my future wife. Because the price is failure is involuntary celibacy.

Also btw what said about hints. If me brushing against someone else's arm and laughing at someone's jokes is considered "flirting," then I must be in a polygamous relationship with at least 15 people. Literally just make the first move. I don't mean to try and sound sexist but the men I've seen at least are a lot nicer when it comes to letting someone else down (i.e. you don't become branded like guys do). They don't make it a public spectacle that you asked them out, they won't tell all their friends about it and spread rumors, they won't post some catty post on Facebook or Instagram. Almost everyone I've seen has just said they didn't feel the same way and leave it at that.

I know, I'm confusing as fuck. He's a bit inconsistent too but I think that I'm just not the best, but I do really love him and care about him a lot but I'm just scared. He really does take good care of me, and consoles me when I'm sad and stuff and I try and do the same with him when he does talk about his issues.

Do you two ever actually spend any IRL time together or is this long distance?

You don't even have to ask him out on a date, invite him out to hang out. Hey let's go see a movie this weekend. Hey do you wanna go ice skating tomorrow night? Hey I heard about this new place I want to eat at do you wanna come?

You don't have to use the word date or anything, just make sure he doesn't bring anyone else. You also don't need to overcome your cowardice and kiss him or anything. Just flirt IRL and hold his hand. That's as clear a signal as you can give.

Yeah your not gonna like hearing this but I would if we didn't live far away from eachother, I know I'm gonna get a lot of back lash from this. But I really can't help but being in love with him, I've had irl guys or " closer" guys hit on me and I just felt nothing but disgust because it wasn't him.

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>LDR

Okay get fucked, it can't go anywhere and you killed a thread to publicly agonise over it on here.

Sadly it's Long distance, but I am gonna visit him sometime soon.

I know people will hate me for doing this, I know I'll get heaps of backlash saying it isn't real and it's fine if y'all think that I understand. I've tried distancing myself from him to
Get over him, but it never worked. When I left him for 2 weeks he messaged me 14 times on messenger talking to himself about a game we both like, and expressing to me that he misses me. I was gonna block him when I got back from my 2 week social media break. I can't help but love him, not because of that but just it's indescribable

How far are we talking here? Go on a holiday and ask to bunk at his place?

If you do visit him, do something like what I mentioned before so that he definitely knows you want him. Wholesome intimacy is a great way to express the way you feel about him.

I did
Well, actually I've told her she's waifu material many times before. Recently I told her I'm going to move back (to the city I went to high school in) and ask her out. So we've been talking a lot more and I'll see her when I visit for Thanksgiving.

>she gives you a lot of indications that she loves you back
I don't have any idea of what that would look like. At least, short of literally telling me she was interested in exactly so many words, but every time that's happened she's turned out to be destructively crazy or completely the opposite of "attractive, gorgeous, beautiful or good looking." So here we are.

>tfw he will never find me attractive, gorgeous, beautiful and good looking

Fuck you.

Insecurity. I was socially isolated(NEET) for 2 years, when I met "the" girl. She made open up a bit, but alas, i never fostered courage to tell her how I felt

As a guy you kinda just get used to the fact that you're 1 in 20 other men who want the same girl, so it's hard to ask her out and HOPE you're that one guy she likes back... as a man you kinda feel disposable in that sense because the odds are just stacked against you. Feel like if I ask a girl out she'll just be offended or find it a weird/unpleasant situation...
Also your titty pillow pics are making me hard.

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Who are you even mad at?

I got rejected so oopsie

its almost as though this is a reasonable answer regardless of gender...

At him. Not op.

Have you tried talking to him about it?

OP here, Yeah because there are more females in the world than men, but that does make feel sad though when you say it like that. However I feel like anyone is capable of love, no matter how hard it may seem. The meme " love yourself before you love someone else" is so true..

habe another one user

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Not that user, but in my case, it's pretty much an equal mix of "myself" and "everyone and everything else."

Who's him? Someone you like?

I know that feel.

Yes.

What happened?

Maybe I can help in some way

Yeah I'm gonna ask to hangout with him where he lives, we've talked about doing stuff irl together. Like hugging, kissing, him holding me me holding him, going to a restaurant ect.

Because maybe I am misreading everything and she doesn't love me how I love her.

I confessed and I was turned down. It felt like she was interested and I thought she had feelings for me but no.

Because not all girls are as kind as you. They are a lot of times cruel and will never in some cases even give a fuck if you feel bad for their reaction. Sometimes it is just not worth it feeling actual physical pain for something that is not surely successful.

One of the causes.
I'm this user

Because while she may love you there will always be the question of how she perceives you in her head. Usually a bad idea to confess, not because it's bad to deal with the emotions but because of how much it screws with working perceptions. The same person who calls me smart, funny, and one of the best people they've known also considers me too stoic, and in their mind unlikely to reciprocate affection. There may be something there but honestly it might be better to keep a good friend than fundamentally change how such an amazing person sees you.

I've only ever been asked out and or been told I'm attractive or cute. I've said to boost their confidence/joked with female friends that they are beautiful but I've never said that to a girl that I'm attracted to. I'm scared if I say something romantic to her or try to talk to her more she'll lose interest in me. So I play it by ear, ask her friends if she likes me or what she thinks of me, try to pick up on body language, and just take it extremely slow.

I asked one girl once if I could get her number so we could study, but I think she realized I was asking it for the obvious reason I wanted to date her. She ghosted me.

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I'm the dude and you're the girl, aren't you supposed to be the one who's good at emotional stuff and talking about it, not me? why tf do men have to do it for you

Relationships are usually about communication though, you should have some dexterity in communicating yours.

nobody talked about relationships, this thread is about confessing to a girl you like. Relationship comes after that if I'm not mistaken.

>Why wouldn't you ask her out? I see a few of these kinds of situations on here and r9k so I was wondering why that was the case
because you arent interesting or worth it you dumb fucking bitch

i smell bitterness

lol okay? smell whatever you want nigga. u can even smell my butthole

ur butthole just smells like shit, I dont want to smell that

then dont smell me in the first place faggot

don't tell me what I can and can't smell you nazi

>gives you a lot of indications that she loves you back.
This is sometimes misleading. Also, I confessed before, never again.

What kinda things did she say/do that made you think she was interested?

Anyway ignoring this virgin piece of shit, why would a guy show interest but not attempt to escalate?

stop smelling me faggot
>Anyway ignoring this virgin piece of shit, why would a guy show interest but not attempt to escalate?
i already answered your question you dumb cunt. believe it or fucking not, you are in fact resistible, and its entirely possible that something or someone more promising stole his attention from your mediocre angelic glow

>guy wants to escelate
>if it works, great
>if not he's a creep/thirsty/loser or whatever and fucked his chances of getting a partner
I think it comes down to fear of rejection and the possible consequences. Another post also mentioned fear and explained it way better than I could

I smell inceldom

Well, I'm female so I don't know if this is the equivalent but there have been points where things escalate to a confession but we both sorta back out at the same time in actually saying something, for me it was because I feel like I'm not good enough and that he can't love a girl like me.

>I smell inceldom
when you should be smelling dubs but continue guessing scents and announcing them with no consequence if that suits you

thanks I will do that
I don't know what I'm smelling now, just the usual stink that's so indicative of this place I guess

>indicative of this place I guess
gtfo then you fucking retard nigger faggot.

nah I'd rather stay and smell your sweet scents some more

>smell your sweet scents
now youre learning

You can't. He simply doesn't like me like that.

He shut me down before even going there.

just be confident sis

He is simply not interested.

>and she gives you a lot of indications that she loves you back

Women think men understand their signals. We do not. We want you to just tell us what you want because we honestly have no clue.

Because women are fucking confusing. It doesn't matter how much she melts like wax around you, or how long her lustful gaze remains fixed, or her flirty behaviour, or how far she bends over in front of you to show off - she'll still reject you and then be ready to say
>Tee-hee! user thinks I like him, silly boy! ;)

I asked her out and she went but she friendzoned me.
I was too much of a loser to ask for straight up sex from her.

Tbh, it ruined my reputation with women because she blabbed about it to her peers. The mad woman.

So are men :/ to some extent, I always feel like whatever nice,flirty and affectionate stuff he does to me, is just him being " friendly" idk what to do desu

>extremely depressed basically entire life
>some girl at college shows interest
>don't realize until later, then wait months to ask out
>do it in horrible overly dramatic way
>get rejected in a very distressing way
>now years later cringe and feel even more depressed about it

Gee I wonder why

Wait, if your both obviously interested in each other then what's the problem? I mean you've already discussed going to a restaurant, that sounds like a date to me.

You know what's worse? Asking her out to an actual bar where you can kinda get drunk and forget the night happened.

Then she really wanted sex from you but you forget the signals because liquor

Tldr: oops, I fucked myself.

I remember in high school there were several girls, one obvious, who may have had an interest. Their signs and signals were fucking atrocious. They didn't even do the typical touching my arm, giggling or trying to be around me, they were so "shy" they tried to gauge interest through random others in my class.

There's the problem in a nutshell. Girls are too pussy to make the first move and place a million barriers to protect themselves from rejection, but expect men to go out on a limb.

idk desu, i just i feel like hes way too good for me and it's best for me to distance myself or something but i love talking to him and i love him alot. We both relate to eachother alot, and i understand him like he's a part of me? if that makes sense, and he understands me too. But who knows, he's probably just being nice

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Nope, he is 100% interested. If you've discussed kissing and he did not immediately say no then it means he wants to. Guys give noncommittal answers to questions like "we should kiss" because they are worried it might be a joke and you are not being serious.

>did exactly that today
>she was hanging around me, talking to me, started sharing food, helping me out, making me drinks, talking about her life
>ask her out for drinks
>could see she didn't take it well

Maybe she acts this way to all her male friends and I'm too retarded to notice, maybe it was me being autistic as fuck and her noticing it for the first time, maybe she just had no idea and thought this was something else. Maybe I came across as a creepy faggot somehow in the last second.

I'll tell you why op, it's because it hurts, might hurt them, and fuck things up. Regret hurts and haunts like poison too but it is a safer option. I don't know how it's going to spread at work or how my job is going to be like now. I might have to move departments or worse I've made the girl feel like she needs to move away from me when I was the one who caused it all because I either fucked up or read it wrong.

It's fucking horrible.