Is it true most women feel unsafe around men in general? I've been reading women forums and stuff to try to become more empathetic and my main takeaway is that most men are to not be trusted in general and most women have at least one sexual harassment or worse story.
How can I make women feel safer around me? I'm not very intimidating physically, 5'8'' manlet with no tattoos and usually wear glasses too.
I was gang rape when i was six years old by older kids in the nursery. Was molested by my neighbour and the guard at school. Was raped by my ex cause well , he said i was asking for it. I told my friend i told my boyfriend now, and he blamed me. Because i was asking for it because i made a choice and i have to accept that its the cause of it. My point is,no matter what age or what situations we are in, its always the girl/ the victim’s fault. Its never the guys. And i trusted my ex back then to treat me right but see what happens now?. I trusted the nursery to be a safe place, but look at me now. No one is backing us no one is protecting us. Imagine telling someone and calling someone for help and end up get blamed for shit like this that you never ask for. So u can never trust anyone . Everyone is going to take advantage of you. How you can make her feel safe is to watch your distance and respect the boundaries they have. Sooner or later , we will trust guys like you
Isnt' it exhaust to live life on the defense? Not saying I don't understand it but I don't think I could treat with people after all that.
You get used to being on the defense. It is probably for the best, because most people genuinely do mean you harm. If you are a woman, you are mostly just a trophy to be won, one which the guy gets bored with in time. That gets mentally exhausting to be around, thus why you try to avoid people for the most part. Then you do something like this, get reminded how harmful people can be, and go back to isolation. Only problem is when you start losing direction anywhere...
But yes... you get used to the life you are given. If it is always on the defense, you adapt to using such without it being much of a hassle.
>if you are a woman you are just a trophy to be won
It's due to stupid ass western of philosophy of "sex! must get the most women! must have best girl!" and it doesn't benefits both for females and also males
>dude lmao no gf u suck I won mine when I was 18
The problem is that most of humanity thinks like this. Take Jow Forums for a moment. You get people entirely isolated from humanity, who are supposed to be different from the conventional route, a board intended for originality and uniqueness, and they spend their time just constantly complaining that they don't have a girlfriend. Why? Because they want a trophy to feel validated.
I get it is a biological function to desire the opposite sex, but desire for the sake of just acquiring a trophy just is highly bothersome.
>I've been reading women forums and stuff to try to become more empathetic
As someone who's gone down that road, don't. I know exactly how good your intentionsare, but I can assure you that the "safer" you are, the less women will like you, and you'll eventually wind up confused and lonely. "Nice guys finish last" isn't just an excuse to be mean, it's genuine advice.
I'm sure you don't believe me, because I've just made random assertions without proof, so let me put it this way: fundamentally, women feel unsafe around men because men are way stronger than them, and the only way to make them feel safe is to not be stronger than them. Unfortunately though, women don't like weak men.
Just stop this op, you'll get nowhere you want to go.
I know this could very well be bait, considering it's ripe for accusation of sõycuckery, but I still wanted to add my two cents.
Listen to this guy op. You're on a fool's errand.
Bait
Its impossible to recognize the next rapist. It can be your friend, a stranger or your partner. Men are wired and reinforced socially to be takers of whatever they want and women are at the top of the list. Society had no problem educating and training children to beware of stranger danger and appropriate and inappropriate behavior with children and yet males resist even an acknowledgement of unwanted behavior towards women.
Since men will not modify their behavior its better to be safe than sorry and at least for me that means I avoid any situation in which they can get me alone. A man approaches and I look for an exit but usually in public I always have a friend or friends with me at all times.
based on the law of attraction, does deleting my ex's phone number reduces the chances for her to contact me? (since now i "closed her door")
>Men are wired and reinforced socially to be takers of whatever they want and women are at the top of the list.
>yet males resist even an acknowledgement of unwanted behavior towards women.
Also women:
>it's so hot when he just takes me and uses me for his own pleasure
You don't get to complain about men being sexually aggressive and domineering when that is precisely what you want them to be.
You get used to it to an extent but yes, it’s exhausting.
We only want them to be aggressive like that once we already like and trust them.
Problem with that is rape culture. Later on that "aggressiveness" can be taken as "intimidating her" and "forcing her to do things she didn't really wish to do but felt she had to because she feared the male overpowering her".
Its biological thing with women, not an actual external factor.
Women tend to always find something to hold up as the big bad boogie man in social room, emphasis on men. Nothing is ever safe enough or good enough, its likely a defensive mechanism to try to maintain control of reproduction and to also survive and always try to find better partners.
They always project these emotions on the world around them, thats why the whole patriarchy bullshit is talked about constantly by left leaning groups even though its a bucket full of holes on examination and cant hold any water.
Sure people get raped and assaulted, but honestly most of the cases called that now are not even that. Just awkward dates that got a little out of hand, and should just be taken as a learning experience.
Just because some dude misjudges a situation, doesnt mean he is some monster deserving of jail time. There is no defending someone who forces themselves on someone and continues beyond resistance, but a lot of these cases are just sloppy poorly carried out first moves that didnt go as planned.
>We only want them to be aggressive like that once we already like and trust them.
And that's just unrealistic. If they're safe and reserved before you trust them but aggressive after, it's because one of those was an act. We both know that at the end of the day, the vast majority of women prefer the safeness to be the act, so I don't see why you're complaining that it's an act.
Sounds like your dating people out of your league anf think because they will fuck you they must want a long term relationship complete with committment.
Suprise, most women will only date the top 20% of men who have all the options in the world. Guess what, when presented with so many options both sex groups start to see everyone as disposable.
All these dating sites and social media actually ruined modern dating, women constantly have options and very few wont constantly try to date up further, and men will go about their normal biological drive to fuck as much as possible.
Both sides loose, but the majority of men basically live in isolation and get fuck all now. This is pretty much a huge part of why all developed nations are struggling with birth rates.
Thats not a western thing, thats a human thing, the only way to kill it is to make it socially unacceptable to be like that. Which surprise, progressive lefties destroyed because its not nice to shame people for doing unhealthy things.
I agree with you that many rape cases are just misunderstandings (guy thinks it was consensual, girl did not) but I don’t know if I’d go so far as to say it’s MOST of them without some kind of data proving it.
men have always made and enforced their rules. sexual aggression is how men naturally behave and their social rules reinforce that and has noting to do with what women want or desire. You actually make my point perfectly. You want a woman so you decide you can take her because she wants you. Crazy, only in a mans mind
>You want a woman so you decide you can take her because she wants you.
Not my point at all. I'm saying you want the type of man who decides he can take you because he wants you, and thus have no right to complain that that's how men are. If women actually wanted guys to be any different, they would be.
Nature doesnt give a fuck if its bothersome to you, your getting mad at animals for becoming a little crazy for not being able to meet their basic biological needs. That is basically life 101, anything deprived of things its designed to need to exist is going to eventually break down.
Humans want some intimacy and some sense of connection with other people, and men and women both desire for something to take care of. Men want women to look over and have responsibility for, and women want babies.
Its something you have to accept, especually considering western civilization basically grew because the system here was built on rewarding men with resources and access to their basic desires and needs if they worked hard and strived to achieve.
Now that all of that is being dismantled by progressives, you see more and more guys walking away from high paying jobs and the stress they bring in basically all developed nations. Its because they are not being rewarded or assured that they will get what they seek at the end of the day, why work 60+ hours a week for something your having zero luck finding already.
Western society is on a decline, and its because the social contract the west was founded on is broken. You can only push people so far, and men have for the most part begun hitting that breaking point which is why you have mgtow and all these other groups forming. Its a reaction to people rejecting a society that does nothing for them, but will take and take until you break.
Men are breeders, it’s what they do. They just need to SEE a girl, not even a particularly attractive one to pop a raging boner ready to reproduce. That’s how they’ve done it for eons. Sex isn’t a conscious choice for them like it is for us. It’s a craving like a predator for prey, or somebody with a full bladder looking for a bathroom.
My mom always told me “women are rich amused tourists in the country of sex, men are the hungry natives one more missed meal away from chaos”.
My parents were blunt as fuck as fuck with me. Unless a guy is gay, he’s briefly imagined bending you over and fucking the shit out of you. Yes even your friends. Yes even your teachers. Yes even your boss. Yes even the cop that stopped you this morning. Yes even the guy who made your coffee. It’s second nature. Women divide men into “would fuck and wouldn’t fuck”. Men divide women into “would fuck then brag and would fuck but never tell anyone”. Millions of sperm, high testosterone, lower inhibitions, rape happens.
Of course most guys have enough empathy to not want to hurt someone, the urge is still there. Like a pitbull. Most never bite anyone, but you’re crazy if you aren’t mildly paranoid about them.
just be fun and make your intentions clear
if you likeher, make it known, if you just wanna be friends, youll have a friendly vibe
if you want nothing with her but her pussy and ass, she better be ho, or else she won't like the vibe your bringing
also make them laugh bro
>why work 60+ hours a week
So you can get money to survive and pay bills, plus buy things in the event that you feel you want something for a change. Better to have than not have, it has nothing to do with the opposite gender.
>Does nothing for them
It provides them with a job, a home, and food without needing to hunt. Just because people aren't getting sex, which isn't in any way promised to any person, especially when that person doesn't deserve it because they are pathetic or autistic, is no reason they should give up on life. Lacking a companion does not nullify the rest of your life being perfect and you just being highly spoiled.
Always wear a shirt that says in big bold text, "I won't rape you to death."
None of the studies are trustworthy anymore, their being carried out by people with a left leaning agenda. Society has been altering the definition of rape/assault for years. Doesnt take study to see that, just look around and think about it.
Its another thing that has begun to break down the social contract in developed nations. Tons of people get slapped with rape charges daily for grabbing a boob after some netflix and chill.
Again guys are just backing away because its all a massive risk, and even if your not taken to the court system for whatever happened they can make your name mud and ruin your career with lies.
And all it takes is a false claim by some random chick you sat and watched a movie with a few years ago.
We’re wired for lots of things, that doesn’t make it RIGHT. We do love it when guys are aggressive and forceful during sex. It doesn’t follow that we SHOULD be raped.
Men are wired to dislike and maltreat children of his mate if he knows they’re not his. It doesn’t mean we SHOULD just let you kill the offspring of rival males.
Bullshit. Men are as they are because they were able to do whatever they wanted against our will without any repercussions because men made all the rules and were the enforcers so all men just forced women and didn't nothing as we suffer in silence. Your days are numbered however as more women have a voice and scream our opposition to what you consider our pleasure. Unfortunately it will take another generation or two before all you macho men wither and die.
I wish you luck in making this world fairer to you. I am sorry my gender has hurt yours in the past. I will die one day, hopefully that can make you happier...
Your an idiot if you cant see they go hand in hand. Go look up the Japanese birth rate issues and all of the problems with people choosing to either kill themselves daily, live in parks or the woods in rural areas as homeless to escape the system, or who simply live off social benefits and rent and live out their days in a cheap one room apartment doing maybe a part time job at most.
A single guy can live pretty great if he stays within his means, and works 40 hours a week.
I make 14 an hour, work 36-40 hours a week and can basically buy or do anything I want and have a reliable new car and a townhouse in the states. Look up hikikomori, the same trend is starting the the states and most of Europe.
>We do love it when guys are aggressive and forceful during sex. It doesn’t follow that we SHOULD be raped.
Not what I was saying, my apologies. I meant that if you want men to be aggressive and forceful, you can't reasonably expect them to only be aggressive and forceful when you want them to, because by only doing it when you want it, they are no longer aggressive and forceful.
It's like expecting a subordinate to disobey direct orders, but only when you want them to. It doesn't work like that, I'd they only disobey when you want them to, they're not disobeying.
>Your days are numbered however as more women have a voice and scream our opposition to what you consider our pleasure. Unfortunately it will take another generation or two before all you macho men wither and die.
Honestly, if women could actually commit one way or the other, I'd be fine with it. I genuinely hope you get the utopia you want.
Digging how your dehumanizing people for being lacking in social graces. Clearly they dont deserve to ever know how it feels to be close to someone, and they should work super hard to prop up some stock holders values and for pay that will sit in a account more likely than not.
I think body language is important. The wrong kind will make people feel uneasy no matter what you say. Read a couple books on it and you'll see what I mean.
>Working 40 hours a week
Same thing. It all depends on how much extra money you want for the items you seek. I find it curious if the only reason you work is to attract a mate.
>fundamentally, women feel unsafe around men because men are way stronger than them, and the only way to make them feel safe is to not be stronger than them. Unfortunately though, women don't like weak men.
How to summarize the problems between the genders in two phrases. Good job.
Honestly I don't think men and women are really all that compatible.
This, it's just not worth it.
Also, girls literally do not see men who are not "alphas" as humans. That's why when a girl says that "all men are jerks" she just means the ones she considers as people worth dating and fucking. They don't understand that men aren't coddled by society since they are born and if they're not good-looking or rich, it will always be a struggle.
The other guy is exaggerating but you're honestly insane if you don't think one of the main reasons men do things is to get laid.
Everyone generalizes user. If you can't understand the other side, you just blanket term it and base it off your experiences.
>Honestly I don't think men and women are really all that compatible.
It's a kinda sad realization.
>Is it true most women feel unsafe around men in general?
I only feel unsafe if I'm surrounded by a lot of men of other ethnicities.
Although I've never been raped or anything, every single creepy encounter I've ever had was either a black guy or Latino passing thirsty comments or staring at me. Once at a concert some fat Latino groped me.
I don't mean to come off as racist, but that's been my experience.
Guys who can understand the nuance without being told are the most amazing type. There’s a difference because a coy “nooooo, I can’t...tee hee hee” in order to keep you from thinking we’re easy, and a deadass “I’m not gonna fuck you, get off of me before I scream for help”
I find men insane if they spend their lives trying for something like sex. It just sounds unproductive, especially when in the same sentence they often talk about how the dating scene isn't worth it with men being able to be taken to court. If they say it isn't worth it, why put in any effort at all for it?
What purpose does sex serve? Pleasure? Food and other indulgences could be better as they don't rely upon another person being willing to cooperate with your desires. Procreating? We have population issues already.
There is so much more to focus on than getting laid, such as enjoying music or finding different hobbies.
With most guys on the street I'll feel quite unsafe if it's a pretty quiet or dark area I did try to cross the road and make as little eye contact as possible, just trying to stay out of the way if I can. It doesn't work all the time and there have been instances where I've been followed by someone trying to get my attention, but saying gross things, or in complete silence.
The shittiest thing is that I'm now not comfortable around my male friends anymore either due to something one did.
I'm not too sure how to explain what would make someone look not threatening, I guess perhaps just staying polite and not making eye contact creepily
>thinking we're easy
This is the problem. There should be no problem with just being willing. Coyness leads to more confusion than needs to be there.
>Lacking a companion does not nullify the rest of your life being perfect
It nullifies *everything*.
Hobbies are nothing but distractions. Your focus should be on your family.
My sister is getting abused by her 'boyfriend'. She keeps frantically calling me whenever it happens, calls me to come pick her up, but she's never there, and then the next time I see her she's fine and all smiles. But it keeps happening over and over, she has had bruises she wouldn't want to explain, but then she goes on trips with him (nevermind the fact she lives with the bastard).
I'm guessing the dick just has to be too good, or he broke her somehow. I don't like thinking this but I wouldn't be surprised if she killed herself within the next year.
The worst part is she wouldn't have to suffer any of this if she just left him, but he beats her up, drives her to the middle of nowhere, then she walks home or takes a taxi, LAYS INTO BED NEXT TO HIM, and goes to work the next day. Fuck women man, and people wonder why I'm an incel. Because I have 3 sisters and they all act like half their brain is missing and I've been conditioned since birth to be wary of the opposite sex.
This. The problem is that males still expect eye contact, so you need to essentially figure out what gender the person is, which might mean needing to look at them. This is quite stressful since it can hurt the female.
Trying to appease everyone seems to just make everyone mad. The best answer is to leave everyone alone so they can't get mad.
>in order to keep you from thinking we’re easy
>in order to keep you from thinking we're enthusiastic about having sex with you
Gee I sure can't see how this could lead anywhere bad. No sir.
I've had the opposite experience. If I had to choose between walking down the side of the street with a group of black men or the side with a group of white men I'd choose to walk on the side with the black guys every time.
They'll be more obnoxious about the comments, but they generally don't DO anything. White men are the most dangerous, especially upper middle class/rich ones. They'll do whatever they want because they know they'll get away with it. Raping me would provide an inconvenience if I fought back or reported them, but it wouldn't ruin their lives.
I really do believe that most men have no moral problem with rape, they only avoid it because of the potential consequences.
>I really do believe that most men have no moral problem with rape, they only avoid it because of the potential consequences.
>but also the guys who wouldn't rape someone seem gay so I wouldn't date them.
Hooray! What a winning plan.
The real world isn't a fucking hentai. If you expect consent to be taken seriously then you need to present your consent clearly instead of confusing the shit out of men and creating problems for the rest of us.
>wouldn't rape seem gay
What are you even talking about? It is more about the danger of any man more than likely being one of the rapists since they believe they can get away with it beyond a slap on the wrist. It is the fear of being able to be around a group of people without them possibly taking advantage.
>I want a guy who doesn't care about consent.
>WHY DON'T GUYS CARE ABOUT CONSENT?!
I'm dumb enough to expect people to be logical in their desires, but is it really too much to ask them to accept the logical consequences of them?
I'm talking about the fact that plenty of men would never want to rape a woman, but they're betasoyboycucks and remain alone.
Nice job quoting me on something I didn't say or even imply, but since you want to go there I actually prefer dating bisexual men/women because as a bisexual woman I'm tired of straight men and lesbians being raging assholes about my sexuality.
>I'm dumb enough
Should have been:
>*I'm not dumb enough
You're right, I assumed you were like the majority of women. Admittedly that's not a fair assumption to make, but my point was more about women in general than you specifically.
Making assumptions about the other gender keeps you safe emotionally and/or physically. It's only natural, even if your assumption turned out to be wrong. Kinda the point of the thread after all.
Because it's now the topic of this thread, can someone explain to me why women don't like men that want consent?
Like kissing someone without their consent is legally sexual assault, but you'll literally be laughed at if you ask beforehand. It just seems kinda shitty to me that guys are pretty much expected to commit a crime every time they go on a date.
>can someone explain to me why women don't like men that want consent?
because thats not manly. they want to be soft-dominated.
But like, why did they make it straight up illegal?
The world needs a thinning of fuck ups anyway.
Let them die off.
I don't know, I think that's kind of cute if it's a first date or a frienship-to-relationship kind of thing. I think maybe if you've been dating someone for 6 months and they're still asking you to hold hands or kiss that would be understandably annoying.
I hate it when strangers pet my dog without asking but if my friends asked me every single time I'd be like "shut up and pet him" you know?
I think with lightly intimate actions like kissing, it's safe to assume that once a woman has consented to it once or a few times that her consent is continuous unless your relationship with her changes or she says otherwise. Sex is a lot more physically and emotionally involved and makes you vulnerable and that's why consent for it is general on a case-by-case basis.
wew lad, larp city in here
Vengeance has never, ever being a solution, you know?
Found the short-haired granade.
>“A woman would rather get beaten to death than bored to death”
My father
when my girlfriend was 14 she went over to a "friends" house, who was a guy, and the guy asked her out and she said no. but then later raped her while no one was home. the guy was the same age apparently. he came inside her and she told me that she told her mom but her mom didn't believe her but still went to the hospital to get the pill. i found this out when i team viewed her computer and saw it as a question on her yahoo answers. then she was raped again at 15 by her step dad. the guy came in and said weird things as she called it and she tried to leave but "froze" and he came on her shirt. she said she was crying and screaming the whole time.
when i forced this info out of her it made me want to leave her knowing about all of this. its disgusting, and she did nothing to involve the police force in either situation. i try hard not to think about any of this but knowing that these two men forcibly got their way with someone i like is appalling, and i was seriously considering leaving her but she had to pull me down and i kind of got over it. i've never really cared about rape at all until these things. so i didn't know how to really react. i'm still very disgusted though.
This is infuriating
If you’re too autistic to just get it, then you have no business with girls. If you actually understand how we perceive the world you wouldn’t be bothered by it. I know emotions aren’t your thing but FFS.
You're a monster. I feel so sorry for your girlfriend for so many reasons.
When we like a guy, we assume he doesn’t have autism and possesses the social/emotional capacity to know when to just grab us and take what’s theirs. Or leave us alone because the whole vibe of the interaction isn’t right.
I AM a girl, I just don't make it a habit to tee-hee my way through relationships. I communicate properly like a fucking adult.
I get that some women will tolerate asking for consent, but I just can't wrap my head around how girls can expect guys to initiate stuff without their "explicit and enthusiastic affirmative consent" while also advocating for that to be the law. It seems unfair to expect dudes to be able to navigate that.
i do like the boomer drink, thanks. but i'm not a monster.
I really don't think this will be a legal issue for you or anyone as long as you have the social intelligence to recognize she isn't into it. If you try to kiss a girl and she physically resists you and you immediately stop, apologize, and then never interact with her again, she isn't going to call the cops on you.
Good post, good post. I've begun to understand this more and more both from basic biology and from my own experiences with male """friends""".
Biggest redpill for me was that no matter how ugly I am, people will still want to fuck me. They just won't want to date me afterwards.
You sound like you have autism though.
I'll admit it's a bit autistic, but how is this reasonable when guys are literally told since highschool that nonverbal stuff like body language isn't reliable and they should ask for consent before doing anything?
Specifically because of that one kid in every high school health class who has to be told that he has to ask for consent for every single thing or he will actually end up raping people. There is always one idiot that doesn't understand the difference between not having to ask to kiss and not getting consent for sex. They're using it as a net, as a catch-all, to ideally stop That Guy from raping.
Everything humans do revolves around sex, you stupid dumb cunt.
And do you really expect millions if not billions of men to settle being sexless cuckolds while watching Chads fuck women everywhere? Before that completely happens, I can promise that there will be a situation similar to anarchy where women are useless fuckdolls. You really don't understand how testosterone works and why all the amazing science breakthroughs have been done by men.
So are guys who wouldn't rape someone but still fall for it just screwed?
oops you must have sneezed when you were typing r9k into the address bar, this is adv, friend! run along back to your homeland
Go back to Jow Forums, you fucking worthless virgin piece of shit. No wonder women hate you. I hope you kill yourself somewhere around this year. Learn to respect women and be nice to them, and maybe you'll get laid.
I don't think so, I mean if a girl actually rejected you over the fact that the first time you kissed you asked her first, do you really want her...? I mean, what kind of a cunt would completely write someone off for something so minor and harmless?
>But like, why did they make it straight up illegal?
Too many creeps who dont know basic interaction
lol look at this dumb retard telling random people to go kill themselves and then try to get laid. must be a woman because you clearly are unaware of whatever you are trying to say, like a stupid fucking woman. lol you're autistic as fuck you fucking dumb sperg
You know you can be a source of strength/safety and be nice? I feel that is the most attractive combination.
Most have been raped.
Its funny the wife and i were discussing thia exact thing yesterday.
Basically women instinctively dont trust men, but if can prove ir just fake being calm and not aggressive you can be trusted.
Women are bunnies men are wolves .
he's been doing it the whole thread
I'm not sure if there's some kind of psyop going on but I've seen a lot of people posting this intentional bullshit. Women don't like doormats like yourself bro. If they do, they've got someone else they see on weekends.
That seems like a dumb reason. You're telling guys that proper interaction is asking for consent when that isn't the case. You're effectively just generating even more creeps who don't understand basic interaction. I guess it's a good plan if you wanted to weed out the guys for whom this stuff doesn't come naturally. But that seems like a needlessly cruel way to run society.
Well if that's the vast majority of girls, maybe. Besides, it's not great to have an additional layer of stuff to climb over when it comes to dating.
I'm not advocating doing anything to you male privilege types but know in 40 years there will be far fewer of you. Too late for women today but or women of tomorrow they won't live in a world of constant fear.
>when i forced
yeah, typical monster male. Men don't know how to have a conversation or inquire but resort to interrogation to force out of a woman what the monster wants to believe.
>and that's a good thing!
You need to take a break from politics young lady.
90% of people are shit. Men and women. Dating sucks and yes it sucks to have another hurdle on top of it, but the fact is you just have to put in your time and go through the pain in the hopes that you manage to catch the eye of someone in that 10%. It's cruel and disheartening but for those of us that aren't rich or hot, is life.