ITT: Ask The Opposite Gender Anything

i think girls can still be friends even after rejecting romantic offers. so go for it any way you wish. just dont be creepy of course. both of what you suggested work great.

I would say, "Wanna go out sometime?" and if she says yes, follow up with "How about (place) at (time) on (day)".

There's a girl in one of my classes who is really into me; I don't want anything serious. How do I not break her heart?

How do I make sure she knows we're not just going as friends (since that's what we are right now)?

The point is to leave enough ambiguity that she can pretend she thought you were just going as friends.

>wanna go out some time?
>as in a date

You don't do that. At all. The short answer is that it's understood that when a guy asks a girl out one-on-one, he considers it a date.

The longer answer is that what matters is what happens on the date, not how you characterize it. Your job on the first date or two is to determine whether you're attracted to her, and whether she's attracted to you, as well as whether you're compatible. This can theoretically be done outside the context of a date, but the context of the date lets you push things a little farther. Put more briefly, it doesn't matter what she thinks you consider it.

Critically, women understand that when a guy asks them to hang out one-on-one, there's a risk that he considers it a date. How she weighs that risk depends on whether she's attracted. But this is all black box shit you can't access.

Trying to "confirm" that you consider it a date is a losing move for two major reasons:
1. It applies pressure.
2. It is abnormal.

Because it applies pressure, it raises the chance that the girl will feel panicked and have a bad time, or simply cancel last-second. The abnormality of the move is the more serious problem, however. It doesn't fit within our standard dating culture, and as such, it signals inexperience, emotional unfitness, that you're a poor mating choice for anything long-term, and of particular note, that you might become emotionally unbalanced. This is both unattractive and reinforces the pressure situation.

This, absolutely this. Ambiguity is key for both sides. She needs to be able to back out gracefully without it being "in the open" that she's breaking your heart, and YOU need to be able to back out gracefully if she turns you off at some point. This enables you to resume your friendship without significant delay.

How do I flirt

My ex bf misses me and wants to see me but can't because he doesn't want to bring his life stresses into my life. I think it is right for me to work on my mental health and self love but I want him to come back at some point. There's no way of knowing when that will happen. How do I keep myself on track of self love and independence when I am kinda lonely and want to be with him?

back in 2016 i had this lab demo in my first semester of uni who i always kind of flirted with. Three years later I am applying for honours in her lab and i see her there. She suggests we grab coffee/lunch sometime to catch up. How do I make moves on this girl? Should I steer the convo towards relationships and stuff? I was calling her my favourite lab demo in a flirtly way earlier, should I continue that?

I've been told I would have made a pretty girl, but I'm very masculine. How do I get a bisexual gf who will appreciate this contrast?

kekek
I'm a girl and this is embarrasingly true

Clem sounds like phlegm

girls would you swipe on a guy who only has like 2 or 3 selfie photos on tinder but a reasonably interesting bio?

Why would a girl come over, have dinner I cooked for her, watch a few movies, and then not sleep with me?

Girls, what's your top 3 things you want/note in a guy. Plain and simple. I want to know why I'm shit and I want to go review the basics.

I'm off of online dating for awhile because I'm sick of meeting people in the same formulaic pattern. But as an adult who lives on his own, I have no fucking clue how to meet women in person.

I'm not a big bar guy. But if I were, I have trouble approaching and talking to a girl because of the social implications of the act. It's not that I'm afraid of being rejected; I'm afraid of being typecast as a gross dude trying to pick up women. I'm self conscious of looking like a fucking frat boy with no self control. I don't even look at women at the gym or on the street.

So my question is this. Girls, how do I approach you without looking like a perv or a weirdo? Is that even possible?

>how do I approach you without looking like a perv or a weirdo
be attractive, seriously thats literally it, a guy approaching a girl on a subway car and starting a conversation is either scary or intriguing depending on how attractive the guy is

This is the exact scenario I'm afraid of. Jesus.

I'm not a bad looking guy. I get online matches (when I was on the apps) and I know how to flirt. I'm pretty charismatic. But I just am incapable of that suggestion. I feel conditioned to believe there are no good outcomes.

Like, if I saw a girl reading a book on a subway, like you said, and I knew the book, I wouldn't want to approach because I'm afraid of any possible reaction. From her just texting her friends she met a skeezy guy on the subway to being fearful I'm gonna fucking assault her or some shit.

It's fine I don't blame girls for this, but I am occasionally annoyed when I look back and see all the moments where a girl was waiting for me to do something. For some reason though, at the time, I never put two and two together to figure out that when you and a girl are squirming around making out on the couch that's a green light in and of itself. I think I was always waiting for some kind of separate signal.

>be me
>meet coworker
>chat with her sometimes, she laughs, etc.
>think about dating her but quickly get rid of those thoughts since we're coworkers
>fast forward to today
>im gonna give my 2 week notice on Monday
>sweet, that means i can ask her out

My situation is weird as I'm employed on a work visa, so I have to leave the country while my new visa is being processed for my new company (since the visa is tied to the company). It will take a minimum of one month for it to process, which means that it will take a minimum of one month to get back into the city. Would it be weird to ask someone out but schedule it so far in the future? How would I ask this person out while still letting them know that I won't be available for a month? Is it okay to be like
>"Hey, this is my last day at _____. Wanna do sometime? I won't be in town for 1-1.5 months, so we can do it when I get back."

>Girls, how do I approach you without looking like a perv or a weirdo? Is that even possible?
P R E T E X T
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E
T
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X
T

You approach girls with whom you have plausible pretext to approach. For example, an easy one is that you're both out at the same activity, or at the same hobby, or reading the same book.

The other secret to not coming off like a creep is to make those approaches not wanting anything romantic. Note that you're not _pretending_ you don't want anything romantic, you really don't want it. You're going over to talk to her and make banter because that's what your whim of the moment wanted. You say hi, crack a joke, put your foot in the door. At this point you use your judgement to figure out if she's receptive or not to you being there, and respond accordingly, either by leaving or by continuing the conversation.

Too big of a gap my dude. You'd need to be good friends or already dating a girl to say "wait 6 weeks and then we can go on a date"

think about yourself in her place, you are sitting reading a book in public and an unattractive fat girl comes up to you and starts asking questions and making comments and putting a sense of obligation on you to acknowledge her when you just want to read, would you be open and warm to her?

If she was a hot girl you were attracted to, you would probably react completely differently then. The standards for male attractiveness to be able to do the cold approach thing is so absurdly high that theres no point you could just make a tinder profile seeking only hookups and swipe 30 girls at random and have a date within a day or 2 without putting any work into it.

>The other secret to not coming off like a creep is to make those approaches not wanting anything romantic. Note that you're not _pretending_ you don't want anything romantic, you really don't want it. You're going over to talk to her and make banter because that's what your whim of the moment wanted.

the absolute state of women

plz

ok thanks m8

ill forget about her.

This is good advice

I don't want ANYONE talking to me at any time in public so this is a bad example. I also think you may be projecting an insecurity into this conversation, so, sorry.

>I don't want ANYONE talking to me at any time in public so this is a bad example
i mean thats clearly bullshit, if your celebrity crush suddenly approached you, you surely would be receptive to them, if a guy who you found attractive approached you when you were single you cant say you wouldnt at least be interested to see where it was going even if you ultimately plan on just shutting them down.

what exactly do you think im projecting? I have turned down girls before i wasnt attracted to which is exactly why i know theres a difference in how people are received. Im not going to give a jehovahs witness the time of day to try and talk me into converting but if an attractive girl started talking to me about what song i was listening to i sure as fuck wouldnt be thinking of ways to get away from her. Women arent some different species with vastly different brain chemistry, saying there isnt a difference between a guy you find attractive approaching you and an ugly guy is not only clearly bullshit but unreasonable to the point where everything else you say is hard to take seriously regardless of if it actually makes sense.

He doesn't want to be the Aziz Ansari'd.

It makes me think of the ol' West or of the Telltales Walking Dead character.

Don't call a guy Clementine. It's sweet for a girl but reeks of hillbilly for a guy. Also Augustus is a rare name, most people named Gus have it shortened from Gustav these days. Augustus will draw up comparisons from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

>tfw took a grill from tinder out for a nice lunch, drive to hang out at the beach and drive along the beach
>didnt make a move
>says she wants to hang out again, gives me her number
>text her two days later about setting something else up
>she says me driving her around was creepy and taking someone i'd never met before to the beach is weird
>dont know if i'm creepy or shes an idiot but either way its damaged my view of dating

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>I look back and see all the moments where a girl was waiting for me to do something
You had to fucking remind me

You might be retarded, please see a doctor.

Just because you'd talk to Bradley Cooper doesn't mean you'd talk to even a kind of handsome guy who approached you for no real reason other than the obvious he thinks you're good looking.

Women NEED an emotional connection to a guy to be interested. A guy might be good looking and all, but she's not specifically going to be interested in him beyond that. Girls want a guy they are invested in AND find attractive. This is why pretext matters. When you have pretext to speak to her you've already got whatever that pretext is in common, and then you can spin yourself as funny and interesting and suddenly she has an emotional investment in you.

You're welcome.

I've told this story here before but it still pains me to this day, but the worst signal I ever missed was a girl who I had been flirting with and drunkenly making out with at house parties for the previous 6 months announced to me that she'd shaved her pussy and all I could think was "why is she telling me? haha what a strange girl."

Holy fuck, Ive missed some serious signals but never that bad. Although, I might have been even more dense at the time and could've missed it myself.
But we learned, didnt we?

I just went on a date this week with a girl and her personality did not click with me. When I tried to tell her about what is new with me, she wouldn't even bother asking questions about me. It was always about her and sometimes asked me if I still talk to people she knew. She weirded me out with her personality and I'm not even sure if she liked me to agree going on date in the first place. Ladies, would you care to explain to me about why is she like this?

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Some people are just like that. I'm certain that plenty of guys here would just talk about themselves on dates too.

I mean there was mitigating context. We were both tipsy, I was actually interested in someone else, we would only ever make out when drunk, we were both virgins, and she was a couple of years younger than me. It still went right over my head of course, but I kind of wasn't looking for it from her in the first place.

Also: I do this kind of shit with my best friend, so make sure that the relationship is clear.

>sense of humour
>kindness
>unconditional love for me

Girls,

How to initiate contact on tinder?
I registered yesterday and got a dozen of matches with cute girls that don't look like they've been dicked into soullessness, but their profiles are empty or just some generic stuff

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THIS. So much this.
You can talk to any girl at any time if you follow this advice.

>The other secret to not coming off like a creep is to make those approaches not wanting anything romantic. Note that you're not _pretending_ you don't want anything romantic, you really don't want it. You're going over to talk to her and make banter because that's what your whim of the moment wanted. You say hi, crack a joke, put your foot in the door. At this point you use your judgement to figure out if she's receptive or not to you being there, and respond accordingly, either by leaving or by continuing the conversation.
I don't think I'm even remotely capable of this. If I am not either a) in need of something from them, b) already familiar and telling them something or cracking a joke, c) conducting a business transaction with them or d) interested in a romantic relationship, I simply will not ever speak to anyone.

Do dominant women who like to peg men actually exist? Where would you meet one?

I like it. I'm very feminine and maybe even submissive IRL.

Bots.

No, I found most of them on facebook too.

I'd say I'm more dominant than submissive, but I hate kink shit and don't engage in it. That said, if you could treat pegging as a normal thing couples do sometimes and not a kink thing, I'd be up for trying.

Too bad I don't know you. It's such a rare fetish, it's a shame.

What do you mean by "kink"? I'm not into the hardcore crazy roleplay shit if that's what you're referring to, just the pegging.

I have very specific preferences for the guys I go for tho, I like them being very big and masculine since I'm so smol and feminine.

That's pretty sad user. Just go into it to make friends with them. You don't need to be besties, but even a girl who likes you from the first minute will be far, far more likely to go on a date with you after she's known you for a few weeks.

>yes, you can be friends with a girl without being "friendzoned"

Are you a twink role playing as a girl?

No, I'm a girl. I like domming a guy who is a foot taller a 100 lbs heavier than me.

I'm extremely concerned about having more friends, though. I am a very quiet person, and I like my alone time. Even just recently starting up a steam chat with my IRL friends so we could play videogames together more often than the once every two months we get together, and even just that is becoming a headache. I have the distinct concern that if I actually start making new friends I'm going to be obligated to talk to them and go do things, which are probably not going to be things I'm particularly interested in, and they're not going to be understanding of me like my existing friends who know that I'm never the one who calls people to do stuff.

... Texas

You might just have other issues you need to look at user.

>foot taller 100 lbs heavier
How tall/heavy we aiming for here?

Asking for a friend.

I suppose the framing of it and how much you emphasize the fact that you're partner is in your ass with a strap on. Example: I like soft porn (though I rarely look at it) of men going down on women and being generous and appreciative, I don't like it when they frame it in terms of body worship and servitude. So pegging in the former sense is fully on the table, but pegging in the latter is not. I guess just don't make a deal of it would be my preference.

I couldn't give it hard either. I'm a gentle person in all facets of my life.

Like what? I don't like being contacted to go do something if I planned on being home that afternoon and I assume normal people don't appreciate being told that.

Lol I'm in Texas too, not the girl though, the guy who asked.

That's pretty much what I'm into. Maybe the solution is to find a dominant girl, then ask her if she wants to try that.

>all these replies claiming this is good advice

Fugg

So just clear up for me what's wrong with going up to a girl with that romantic intent in mind?

I'm 5'2" and 100 lbs.
My boyfriend is 6'3" and 210 lbs. Kind of muscular but not ripped.

Have a boyfriend, sorry user.

>you're
Goddammit.

Alright, I'll ask something: men, if you're girlfriend is cooking for you, is it okay to do some sides in the microwave to cut down on time? I mostly mean steamed vegetables or soup. Plus I don't have a real kitchen in my apartment and I don't like using the communal kitchen more than I have too.

Excepting that all microwaved food is absolute trash, sure.

I can only imagine the issues this stems from. I bet you fuck like a wild animal though, damaged people always do.

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You give a completely different vibe.
Both of those approaches are built around treating women like human beings - you show interest in them, consideration for their feelings, etc.
Walking up to a girl to ask her out is going to make her feel like she's just one of the 5803 women you'll ask out that day. You show no interest or consideration. You just think they're hot and and want to fucc them.

I don't know user, you just sound more like you have social anxiety than introversion. You're also assuming that you're going to make a whole load of female friends this way who you will then have as friends to keep up with for a long time when the reality is that only a few of them will be people that you have friendship potential with. Just trust me on this and keep romantic ideas out of your head while talking to girls you've only just met. Treat it like you're there to make friends and get to know them better before asking them out. If they're not interested in getting to know you better then they wouldn't have said yes to a date anyway.

>seems desperate
>screams that you're only talking to her for shallow reasons
And, most importantly,
>you are _expecting_ her to give you the time of day and give you an opportunity to ask her out when neither of you know anything about each other, you have no idea if she's interested or even single, all you know is that you want to ask her out and she needs to talk to you for 5 minutes so that you can do it and that's all pretty self-centered

Just a power thing, I like feeling like a guy who could literally throw me through a wall is willing to let me tie him up and have him degrade him and fuck him the way I want just because he needs me that much.

And I don't have issues or am damaged. Never slept around, been in this relationship for 3 years and had a 6 years one before, perfect family life, never been raped or anything like that. I have a pretty nice job where I make 80k$/year, own my house. All good, really.

I do fuck well.

>I don't know user, you just sound more like you have social anxiety than introversion.
It would be anxiety if I was anxious. I don't get anxious, I get irritated. I *loathe* leaving my house after I get home from work if I didn't intend to. It's a massive bother.
> You're also assuming that you're going to make a whole load of female friends this way who you will then have as friends to keep up with for a long time when the reality is that only a few of them will be people that you have friendship potential with.
Just *one* is a problem. Normal people generally contact their friends, what, a couple of times a week? I'm happy if I hear from each of my bros once a month. If I've got someone I just met hitting me up multiple times in one week, which for most people is still on the low side, it's *already* a problem.
>Just trust me on this and keep romantic ideas out of your head while talking to girls you've only just met.
I haven't met anyone in three years.

>I haven't met anyone in three years.
So why did you even respond to my original post? Clearly it's not an issue for you right now.

>I have a pretty nice job where I make 80k$/year, own my house. All good, really.
Dammit. You'd hate me. I'm still living with a roommate for another lease term and still make $27k a year while I'm waiting for my promotion. Will be 27 soon.
>So why did you even respond to my original post?
Because it seemed like such an alien concept. I literally cannot not be interested in a relationship with anyone that I am attracted to until they disqualify themselves somehow. The only reason for this is because I've never had a relationship.

I don't hate anyone for the amount of money they make, I'm not that kind of person.
Good luck on the promotion!

Well, it's more for the fact I have no higher education, no desire to ever pursue it outside of obtaining specific skills for personal purposes, and am completely fine with never making more than $45k a year and what that says about someone who lives that way.
And the promotion is already assured. I'm just waiting for my predecessor to retire from that position, and hopefully I eventually get to do the same.

>Walking up to a girl to ask her out is going to make her feel like she's just one of the 5803 women you'll ask out that day. You show no interest or consideration. You just think they're hot and and want to fucc them.
It works though. Some dude fucked my crush this way. He just asks out every single girl. Deep inside I feel like I should start doing it myself.

He asks out 100 girls and 1 says yes. It works if you can withstand the rejection and are good looking in the first place, but it's like using a sledgehammer to drive in a thumbtack.

To add on this, the other 99 girls are annoyed.

Translation:
>social status
>height
>good-looks

He still fucked my crush
He fucked half of my workplace
And she rejected me

So in short it works

Are guys who used to be fat but got Jow Forums, we're talking losing 80+ pounds, less or more desirable to women?

Like would it be good for me to mention what a slob I used to be, or is it not appropriate?

I ask random matches on Tinder if they want to fuck. Some actually do say yes just because I'm decent looking plus the fact that it's so straightforward. Some women like it, some don't. It's not a method I would recommend but I'd never recommend against it either.

My boyfriend lost a lot of weight and is now fit. I respect him so much and love him even more.
I'm sure for some other girls it might be a con or a neutral thing, but for me it's a huge pro.

Tinder is different again though. Tinder is pretext in and of itself. The guy I was originally responding to was talking about approaching girls specifically IRL.

On tinder a lot of people are just looking for hook ups and they have no reason to pussy foot around the issue. So you've matched them, which is pretext to talk with them in the first place, and you're both there to fuck, so just coming out and saying it is acceptable.

Absolutely yes

I've gone the IRL approach too. Much higher failure rate but it does work if you're not really autistic and know how to subtly initiate conversation.

Most of the ones that say yes to a hookup are ones that have "just here for friends" or "looking for a relationsip, no hookups". My conclusion is that it's a screening process and only the ones that bothered to swipe right are worthy.

You're a filthy little slut, aren't you?

Absolutely yes

girls,

I met you at a bar and we were dancing for a bit before you had to go and i asked for your number, should I text or call you, the next day or?

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