I knew my best friend of ~5 years had a thing for me, but it was never really a big deal, at least to me...

I knew my best friend of ~5 years had a thing for me, but it was never really a big deal, at least to me. But he just hit me with "You're the only person I've ever been attracted to" and honestly I can't even begin to process this information. Any tips on dealing with working through heavy confessions?

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Go out wih him.

He’s demisexual, he just needs more close friends to become attracted to

Honestly there's only two options here, and his confession is the reason that you're having to do this. This is of course assuming you're not interested in him, as I'm assuming you wouldn't be asking for advice otherwise.

If you are uncomfortable with being friends with him after this admission, take a week or so off and tell him. It can feel like a genuine betrayal to here this stuff sometimes, so if he does care for you he should have no problem with you letting him know and you taking a breather.

If you are still comfortable with the situation, please reiterate your disinterest in him romantically. Lots of men take a lack of firm negative as a soft maybe, mostly due to romcoms. If you aren't firm, he may falsely believe he's beginning to get a chance and that's a nightmare for literally everyone involved if he doesn't.

>I knew my best friend of ~5 years had a thing for me
It always blows up. I know you think you can manage a guy that wants you while pretending friendship but they always try to force the issue and it will always be your fault for not wanting him in return. He'll either say you lead him on or you are being a bitch and having some mental or emotional problem or demand a reason you don't want him as he list all the things he's done for you.

No straight guy really just wants you as a friend its just a way to get close and stay close.

Time to withdraw from him and the best thing that works is for you to date other guys.

...pretending friendship?? If someone still feels friendship for someone who has developed feelings for them, how is that pretending?

Do you believe that bi people want all of their friends?

Honestly how people like you exist baffles me. You make very good, very logically sound points and then finish it with nonsense.

If you knew he was attracted to you why did you lead him on for several years.
And why are you backing out now? Do you expect him to be your little bitch all his life?

Not that guy, but you are stupid and/or cruel if you beleive that has been a freindship on equal standing, which is not a freindship at all.

If I am friends with someone and they develop feelings for me, I am the bad guy for continuing with my emotions? Genuinely break this down to me.

He developed feelings. He let her know. She said no. They remained friends. If the friendship is unequal, it's his fault, not hers.

>He let her know.
Except this didnt happen until now and the part after that didnt happen at all. If the guy wants to remain freinds, then all power to him, but that is very unlikely.

its the person in love that pretends to be friends not someone like OP. A tactic, almost always unsuccessful, is to pretend friendship with an ulterior motive, believing if they remain close and a large part of their life the girl will fall in love like in a movie.

I've fallen into the trap before, several times and ignored it just as OP has so now when a guy cozies up I talk about guys constantly. You can see the look in their eyes, the despair. Not wanting to hurt them more I force the inevitable conversation that it will never happen between us and its best for both of us to move on.

>why did you lead him on for several years
see OP, just as I said. when you first detect they want you then you get out. These guys believe if you remain a friend you must want them.

She knew he had a thing for her, so presumably he told her. Or are you just assuming that she's just guessing the guy is into her?

Did you even read the OP?

>it's his fault, not hers
It certainly is his fault but you will never get a man to admit this

Oh aye, that's fair. That's fairly similar advice to what I gave her. But do you seriously believe straight people cannot be friends with the opposite sex? Like there's a difference between accepting this awkward shit might happen and essentially guaranteeing it.

I fail to understand what fault you are referring to here. He liked her, he let her know, and most likely wont remain freinds(i.e. her bitch), after she rejects him. The one being distressed by it is OP.

>Straight people cant be freinds with the opposite sex
Yes, especially if they are attractive
You are incredibly naive if you think otherwise.

Yes.
> knew guy was interested
> never thought it was a big deal
> (meaning guy never made it a big deal)
> had heavy confession of being the ONLY person he's attracted to, so not necessarily first time discussed

I'll ask again, are you assuming that op was just assuming the guy initially had feelings for her?

>had heavy confession of being the ONLY person he's attracted to, so not necessarily first time discussed
You are really stretching the logic it here, why not just let OP clear it up? It didnt sound like the guy ever made his feelings clear before this incident.

Maybe it could happen but it never has for me and I admit once I fell completely in love with a guy and would have accepted anything to be around him but he didn't feel the same. I'm still in love with him. But he is probably different. He was a friend of my older brother so he was always around and would talk to me and help me because I was his best friends sister. I couldn't hide how I felt about him at all and would shake when he came close. My brother spoke to me nicely and told me to snap out of it

>i.e. her bitch
She's not the one making him a little bitch, she treats him as a friend. If he puts himself in that position knowing she doesn't feel the same thats on him.

>knowing she doesn't feel the same
Thats the problem. She never told him and never wanted to, and only now when she is forced to do it.

Good God aren't you are at all picky beyond attractive? This honestly baffles me.

I don't understand how I'm stretching the logic. I read it one way, as did you. I'm happy for op to clear it up.

But surely you've had other male friends that you aren't attracted to?

>Good God aren't you are at all picky beyond attractive?
You are dense or just dont want to admit it. Attraction doesnt care whether you have a partner or not, or if you actually want to go further, and the best to not be attracted to someone else is to not be very close to them.

There are 3 kinds of attraction between a man & woman:
1) sexual
2) romantic
3) attachment

I have female friends I would happily bang if we were both single. I have female friends I have a strong emotional attachment to. I have 0 female friends I have any kind of romanticized soppy eyed pining attraction to, because that would never work as a friendship.

Nope. I tried the male friend thing but they had other ideas about the "friendship". I can't think of any of my female friends that got together with a guy friend. There have been some we laugh and say they act like a couple with some guy that is hanging around all the time but we all know its some other guy she really likes.