Is it normal for people in a relationship to keep acting flirty with other people?

Is it normal for people in a relationship to keep acting flirty with other people?

I went to my boyfriend's workplace to surprise him with some coffee and a slice of carrot cake I made, and I saw him flirting with a coworker.
I'm fairly sure he's not cheating or anything, he seems to be very in love with me and dedicated. But he was being really flirty to her, which made me uncomfortable. She's 15 years older, not even his type physically speaking.

Is this normal? I am not mad, I'm just confused. I'm very reserved, I don't even talk to other men unless I'm obligated to.

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Normal? Yes. Acceptable? NO.

I don't think he was doing it with any sexual intention even, he was just being nice and charming with her in a way he usually is just with me.
Should I address it with him?
He's not a bad person, I'm sure he'd get it.

I am a huge flirt so I like teasing other people despite being in a relationship. If I had to guess, I just enjoy the validation. I'd talk to him about it, but the approach is probably best decided by you since you know him and your relationship best.

Without any judgement, why? I don't get it.

You are just insecure.

This is going to be an recurring issue until you find out what it is making you insecure, and resolve it.

I do this at uni with plenty of girls, yet I'm comfortable and happy in my relationship and have no intentions of cheating on my girlfriend. It's really just for fun and I like to think that the girls take it the same way. I am careful to not accept romantic at all or get physical including touching.
With that said I think you should tell him that kind of behavior makes you uncomfortable, he'd likely appreciate the honesty. I'm also sure he is glad to have a girl who surprises him at work with things he likes. That is very nice of you.

I'm not.
He was definitely flirting with another woman, which is something I would never do with another man. I don't see the point of flirting with people unless you want to sleep with them, and I don't think he wants to sleep with her or to cheat on me in general.
I don't get the behaviour, it felt really off. It's something I'd never do and I don't understand.

I'm not particularly insecure, it's just a situation I'm uncomfortable with.

hes flirting and you are worried about it.

thats insecurity.

Its just the automated thing I do when I coverse with someone. I usually dont even realize it - complimenting and teasing people, seeing them blush and be out of their comfort zone just feels good. Its just been the way I operate even since I was 15 and now that I am 30, its a reinforced behavior.

Can I ask you what's the appeal of it, or what do you get out of it? Not trying to judge, just want to understand.
I try to not act particularly nice because it happened to me in the past that guys got really caught up and felt like I was leading them on, is something that happened to you too when you flirt? How do you handle it?

Thanks for the compliments.


Insecurity is a feeling of uncertainty and anxiety about oneself. I don't feel bad about anything I did or I am. I don't like a behaviour my boyfriend had.
I'm not even "worried", just uncomfortable.

I work with a bunch of old married people and all they do is flirt with each other all day.

Thanks.
Did it ever get out of hand for you? Did you ever cheat? Do you do it with everyone or just people you're attracted to?

I work in an all-female environment, so I don't experience that.

Do you do it with men as well?

Nope. I have a huge barrier between what I say and what I actually do. I never even jerk off thinking about other women I know. I do it with nearly everyone other than people I would get in toruble for talking like that to and relatives.I even flirt with random girls and dudes over voicechat when I play videogames even though I have no interest in men and would probably find most women there unattractive. Its just harmless fun, but if my partner felt uncomfortable about it, I would try to limit and change that behaviour.

Intention kind of matters and it depends on the person.
I dated a French girl once, flirting is just part of their small talk. It's not about having sex or trying to, it's just their way of paying off handed compliments essentially and making small talk to fill the empty void of a day and maybe make some people feel nice in the process.

If hes not going to cheat on you it's probably fine.

Thank you very much. It's just something I'd never do and it felt really off when I saw him doing it, I couldn't figure out any other possible explanation that wasn't "he wants to stick his dick into her butt" but she's not his type so I didn't think it was the case. He's also a really faithful guy in general, I never had a reason to doubt him.
I'll bring it up to him just for the sake of honesty, tho.

Also sorry to say it user, but if this is your concern you're kind of screwed because offhand flirting tends to be a rather deep social trait. At best if you bring it up he'll just avoid doing it in front of you.
It doesnt mean he will cheat on you, it's just that he has a personality trait you'll have to get over

It's not a huge deal, really. I find it distasteful, but it's up to him to decide what to do. I'm not the kind of person who makes a big deal out of this kind of things.
I'll tell him, probably, but I'll survive.

I think there's just a bit of fun to be had, maybe some validation too. I'm just passing time with some engaging banter. But again my intentions are just that, and I refrain from the "wow you're hot" kind of talk or getting physical. Also it does come in handy to be liked around the classroom, and I'm sure the same around the workplace too.

As an office worker I can vouch that the atmosphere and general socializing is not the same as normal out of the office socializing.

Don't fuck with his rainforest, it's just banter.

>15 years older
I'm almost 30 and I always lay it on real thick with ladies in that 45+ range. Usually I drop those adorably Disney lines on the geriatrics, like "all this costs is a winsome smile from you," or something silly like that. They love it, because A) Halo effect and B) it's a total break from the usual shit they hear in a day-to-day.

Would I actually start laying in on the hitting-on and getting-with? No, well, not since I'm taken. For me at least, it's just a nice way to flatter people who probably don't hear a bunch of flattery anymore.

I am a girl and in a serious relationship I deeply love my boyfriend don't plan on cheating or want to. I don't see myself with another man whatsoever but I do flirt a little at work, I'm a receptionist and it's just for me lighthearted fun. In no way is it sexual or anything regarding physicality but it's just something funny to me. I like to see the reactions of the people

Do you also flirt with women?