Why do people cheat?

There are a million reasons why someone would cheat. But usually it's for one of the following reasons:

>unfulfilled sex life with partner (not enough sex, or the sex isn't pleasurable enough).
>inability to be monogamous sexually (sloots gonna sloot).
>person isn't very happy in the relationship, so he/she doesn't value the relationship highly enough to stay loyal (risk - reward).
>to make a statement or prove a point.

I like to call it mental acrobatics.
Frankly, most people are lacking the capability to be blunt and up front nowadays. People in relationships get so scared of being alone or breaking things off that they do these mental acrobatics. They convince themselves it would cause their lovers too much pain if they ended it, so instead of breaking things off the right way they seek to fulfill their needs in secrecy, neglecting the fact that they're going to cause about 1,000x more pain in the long run this way.

Some are dating assholes. I needed to talk to my girlfriend for five minutes last night because I'm in a bad place mentally and I would really appreciate even five minutes of her time. Im Depressed and anxious because my best friend almost committed suicide while I was on the phone with him.

Her and I had a silly fight last week. She said she didn't want to talk to me out of pity. I've been with her two years.

I'm never going to cheat on someone, but I can imagine this kind of situation causing another man to search for a woman who gives a damn. You break down your walls and show vulnerability and she says "don't care."

There is no straight answer on why people cheat, but there is a straight answer on why you, personally, should not cheat: it makes you absolute scum undeserving of anything other than a gas chamber. Hope that helped, OP!

Sad for u bro, i would die for something like this

That's part of it, but also to send a message to herself that the guy shes with isnt shit so that this for tonight is ok. Women hardly ever cheat because shes horny, they do so out of malicious boredom

Agree up to the last point. Sex with someone you care about is inherently different than a one night stand. So, I think sex can be a romantic expression, but it can also be enjoyed with a stranger as a lustful act.

Sex CAN be an act of love, but that isn't inherently the case.

Sex should ONLY be associated with love, ever.

Because they want to have sexual intercourse with another person they are not currently in a relationship with. What a stupid question.

The better question would be: why do people not cheat? First of all it requires a said or unsaid rules in a relationship that limit the sexual proclivity of the (usually) two people involved. Now why would people break those rules? The answer is usually some combination of respect for their partner, moral dogma, lack of interest in other people besides their partner, lack of opportunity and the complications/negative consequences that come along with cheating. So people will usually cheat when the benefit of cheating appear greater than the mentioned downsides.

Different reasons for different folks. I was once with a girl who I never would have dreamed would commit infidelity. We spoke regularly about our boundaries and expectations in the relationship, defined in very clear terms our own concepts of cheating and what it entails, the whole nine yards. I thought we might start a family together, but she ended up cheating with an ex. We sat down and talked it over, deciding to attend couples' therapy as well as individual therapy sessions. We also spoke at length to and about her family, friends, and the ex whom she cheated with. Her reason for cheating stemmed from issues with self-esteem, these issues being exacerbated by her relationship with me. Apparently she felt inferior to me, in some ways feeling she didn't deserve me, and cheated out of some odd mix of validation and self-destruction. After getting her through the issue - as much as I could personally support her, at least - I "officially" broke up with her of course. Nice girl, hoped she'd do well, but apparently she became a bit of a thot after I walked out. To each their own.

Some people aren't the brightest and those people have really poor self control.

their needs aren't being met by the cheatee and it's too hard to sit them down and discuss it with them

Sex is one of, if not the most, vulnerable thing you can do with another person, so why should it be treated so lightly? To have sex with someone is completely letting your defenses down and indulging in something that can have many many consequences and risks. What would be left in a relationship if nothing sacred and exclusive is left to share with the other person?

Meant to respond to

It's not. Sex is just smashing genitals together and moving your body till one of you wants to stop.
You give it an higher meaning, and so do I personally. Bu it's not something so factual that everyone should agree on, sex is not inherently meaningful.

>What would be left in a relationship if nothing sacred and exclusive is left to share with the other person?
Intimacy, love, desire for each other. Not everyone lives the relationship by the rules you do.

Just an example - my boyfriend had sex with dozens of people, but I'm literally the only person alive he ever talked to about certain things that happened to him. I'm immensely more intimate with him than any person he ever had sex with, by far.

not true. I tried breaking up with a girl and they went mental and forced relationship. wants me to cheat but still be with her.

Depends if you’re talking about an emotional affair with feelings involved or just a purely sexual thing.

Because they're garbage and they can.

Some people are just trash. Others aren't, but feel like they're stck with someone who is.

Leaving is always the right choice.

Men cheat because we’re obsessed with sex

Women cheat because they want alpha DNA or a new boyfriend

Lack of fear or morals. If we started executing people for infidelity we wouldn't have this issue.

Human psychology and relationship dynamics are so immensely complicated that the only way you'd be able to get an accurate answer to this question is if you asked it about a specific person in a specific situation. There is no one reason. There is no ten reasons. There are dozens. Hundreds. Any answer to a question this vague is incorrect on simple principal of logic.

Yes we would. We're all human. All it takes is a little tingly feeling, a reminder of someone we've loved and lost, to get those gears turning.

Underneath it all we know we're going to die alone and empty inside and are looking for something to fill the void, give us meaning.

Ironically when we "find" it it's lost it's meaning, a peek behind the curtain, then the great, omnipotent Wizard is a silly little man just like us.

People still commit crimes that earn them the death penalty, so no, we would still have infidelity.

>If we started executing people for infidelity we wouldn't have this issue.
Unironically kill yourself.

Love is an illusion. Men will say they "love" their person they're fucking (the only person they GET to fuck in order to have benefits of relationship and companionship), then have sex with a million other women in their minds over the course of the relationship and say it's not cheating. And complain about the woman's orbiters that she can't stop from liking her and doesn't have sex with or fantasize about.

Love is an illusion made up by men to get women to put out. Men are trash. Women cheat because they realize love is an illusion and men only want to 1 fuck and 2 pretend to be heroes so they don't feel bad for wanting #1.

Case and point

Impulsivity or ego going from men's most likely factors

The either think they deserve "better" or they can get away with it. It's human nature to want to explore options or think about what could've been and some people that do probably see themselves the victim or sufferer of the relationship and think of their fling as liberation from a partner that may be difficult or somewhat distant. It could also be they're attracted to the "first date" phase rather than investing in the relationship or they feel the relationship has lost its appeal because they see a side of their partner that wasn't what they signed up for that bleeds them dry.

Sometimes people can feel trapped in relationships and are just using it for benefits or non-sexual needs/protections (like housing if you're a bum and a sponge). So there can be understandable grievances on the cheater's part, not that it justifies the infidelity or the act. Generally tends to vary.

I think nails it for women.

this

Nope. You're gonna have to kill me if you want me dead.

Laws aren't for those who would disobey or obey them regardless of their existence, you mongoloids.

They are for the vast majority of people who could go either way, who have no solid internal moral compass and simply do what's convenient. Giving the death penalty for being a piece of shit is artificially tipping the scales in favor of not being a piece of shit for that bulk of the population, and it's why everything is such crap right now when laws and conventions in place previously have been removed--now it's a hedonistic race to the bottom.
Sure, if you really, really wanted to, you could still do it. But most would elect not to if the punishment was lethal. Go ahead, tell me that 40% of the population would still cheat (the current figure right now, by admission) if doing so was a capital offense.

>i think we as a society need to stop associating sex with love.
Allowing people to define something as subjective as "love" individually is only going to result in delusional and self-destructive behavioral outcomes. What you should be doing is associating sex with marriage--forcing actions to take priority over fleeting feelings (and ultimately, ensuring more authentic feelings). Of course you'll still have retards like the evangelicals having shotgun marriages out of "love", but the risk is comparably much lower than a simple free-for all.

Basically women are also sending a message that they're also whores.

Yep got it.

>Jow Forums - Questions and pictures of girls

because they are insecure, unstable, cruel and selfish with an enflated ego. this is why i find it so hard to trust and open up again. no matter if they're a chad, normie or neet, they'll cheat..

okay not everyone will, but in my experience people are very shitty. i kind of blame porn too. i would never want to date someone with a snapchat, for instance. there are fake calculator apps to specifically hide messages too. it almost feels normalized now and it's heart breaking.

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I have been with my now wife for 6 years. Married for 4. She is great and I love her. We travel, we hang out at home but also go out and have fun. We are totally ok being along together and separately. I'd honestly say she is a 8/10 looks wise. But we have six about 3 times a month. We have talked about it a lot and she always says she doesn't know why she doesn't want to have sex, she's just not ever in the mood. I'd say I'm a 6/10 maybe a 7/10, and there have been MANY chances to cheat. But I haven't done so. I feel like I could live with myself if I did, and I'm smart enough to do it to where she would never find out. Our lack of sex has been a reoccurring problem in our relationship and has come close to splitting us up before. Should I just have sex with other women and make sure she never finds out?

Additional info is that one year into our relationship I was shipped out for the military and got a handjob, I told her immediately the next day and she told me she wishes I would of just never told her. That's basically the green light, right?

>Should I just have sex with other women
No, gas yourself

sounds fucked up just break up

to despise eachother

So you agree this goes both ways, men and women though?

Cheaters are basically all NPCs who are programmed to view their own actions as reasonable despite logic. Sex = good.

Cheating is an orchestrated event. It's never on a whim or a "mistake". It is always a planned intentional action. It takes an extremely selfish and empty person.

The Romans tried it and it didn't fucking work.

They were limited in terms of technology and means of enforcement, so it's not fully comparable. This is the same civilization with a quasi-private fire department that would start fires on its own if business was slow.

Even so, I can guarantee you whatever they had worked better than what we have now in terms of discouraging adultery. Having any sort of punishment (or even a de facto one like Crimes of Passion) would be very useful in reducing infidelity, although the more general problem of fostering good relationships would require other measures as well.
If "it still happens when it's illegal" were an argument against having a law, we wouldn't have any laws whatsoever by definition.

"it still happens when it's illegal" is a perfectly good argument when the law costs society more to enforce than the enforcement does for the public good. And you're on, at best, questionable ethical and moral grounds when you advocate the death sentence for infidelity.

Agreed

Good sex feels nice, feels even nicer when you love the person. Being able to be totally transparent with a person and have them mutually care for you is the best though.

To answer OPs question, when you're severely dissatisfied with your SO for whatever reason, but not totally willing to go single, which could relate to a lack of what I mentioned above. Never cheated and as far as I know I've never been cheated on (as far as I know lmao) so can't relate personally

>when the law costs society more to enforce than the enforcement does for the public good.
First of all, what I referred to still isn't an argument, you're just describing a separate reason of costs vs. benefits.

Secondly, in this case the public good is a happier and more stable society, while enforcement would be limited to punishing obvious degenerates after an already-existing legal case. Adultery is already a heavy focus in modern civil suits for divorce, all you'd be doing is upping the ante. If anything, the reduction of costs in separations (the divorce industry is notorious for this) by discouraging reckless and hedonistic behavior would outweigh anything the few additional cases would require. In the long run, you'd be reducing the number of separations by reducing one of the leading causes thereof. Pic related.

>questionable ethical and moral grounds when you advocate the death sentence for infidelity.
On whose authority? People use "morality" as a synonym for "my arbitrary set of beliefs" in almost all cases, and I'd wager you're doing the same right now. They can't go any deeper than saying "this is bad because it's bad".

I'm not interested in dragging this into a debate on current suicidal policies, but in the foundation of Western marriage is a crucial line "until death do us part". Well, if someone wants to part with adultery, they have to fulfill the other condition too. This line of thinking is hardly without precedent.

Mind you, in practical administrative terms an automatic death penalty for adultery is a bit too clumsy. I'd prefer a crime of passion law and a number of civil consequences--that is to say, it should be a latent death penalty, or civil death. It's more flexible this way.

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