Are there any people here who are in a relationship with a depressed man or woman while NOT being depressed yourself?

are there any people here who are in a relationship with a depressed man or woman while NOT being depressed yourself?

how does it make you feel? how does it influence your relationship?

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My girlfriend says she's depressed. It makes me feel that I want to be the one to make her happy despite it, and sometimes I'm disappointed because I can't beat a mental disorder, obviously.
Other than my own private thoughts, it doesn't affect the relationship much. She tells me when she's depressed and I do my best to take her out or make her feel loved and that's all I can do. It comes in waves.

I'm also dating a depressed girl. She's more the type to really have her shit together but is scared deep down. I tend to have high self esteem and I'm fairly sure that that's something she found quite attractive in me, and I hope to be a positive influence for her. I don't think you could pay me to say this to her face but I do look down on her for being depressed.
I know my view is a bit jaded but to me depression is something to overcome, not to live with. And all these Facebook and tumblr posts with people glorifying their failing mental health like it's an oppression trophy have made me a bit disinterested in it.
rant over.

>but I do look down on her for being depressed.
oh wow thanks for being honest but thats brutal if you love someone

My husband is depressed. It puts a strain on our marriage sometimes, but I try to be aware when he is in his moods that the depression isn't him. It makes me angry on my bad days, because I work hard to build a happy home, and when your partner can't be cheered up by anything, it makes my work feel useless. It makes me feel sad for him, and like a failure as a woman, I feel as though I should be able to "make him happy," but I know in my rational mind it is not as east as all that. Are you the depressed one in your relationship, OP?

I'm on the same boat.

I've been the depressed girlfriend while my boyfriend was not. I think he got frustrated with me sometimes when I would cry. He didn't really understand what it was and would tell me things like 'just change your attitude.'
When I realised he didn't understand, I hid it from him as best as I could and if I felt a mood coming I'd deal with it in private then meet him looking fine.
The bizarre thing was one time when we were sleeping, I felt sad about something and was tearing up completely silently, but my face was turned away from him and it was pitch black in the room. He woke up from a deep sleep and said "I know something is wrong." So maybe he was more sensitive to it than I thought.

My gf has a lot of psychological issues, not exactly clinically diagnosed or anything but shes got major emotional and psychological baggage and it affects us like it would depression

It's hard on me because I'm generally a high spirited, but sensitive person and alot of times she unintentionally puts me in situations where I feel like I cant win and she is doing it to get a reaction out of me whether it be to comfort her or tell her what she wants to hear in that moment. It can get very uncomfortable but as long as you communicate and not let yourself get walked all over you should be fine.

Some people are able to swallow their pride and do everything for someone you love and other people just cant handle being a "caregiver"

Just ask yourself what you're willing to put up with

I am in a 2 year relationship with a depressed girl
>How does I make you feel?
Generally like shit , I know she needs time and all but is hard to feel like I am the only one that is trying to do something for the relationship even if I know that's not true.
This last 2 months have been really hard for both of us, she has been really depressed and we can hardly see each other because of this and she thinks that in the next therapy she is gonna have to start over with another pills
I don't really know if can handle this or if this is worth it anymore
>How does it influence your relationship?
Right now I am considering breaking up with her, I been thinking about for the last months
why should I keep enduring this? I do love her this is why I am with her but I am getting emotionally unstable because of this
Help me Jow Forums

I'm not with her anymore, but i was in a relationship with my ex girlfriend for 2,5 years and she struggled with depression and borderline personality disorder.

>how did it make you feel?
Very 2 sided. On the one hand, you are happy and relieved that you can be the one to make her happy at least for a little while. She was depressed and struggled with BPD, but when we were together, her eyes often lit up and we would have a good time together. But on the other hand it makes you feel like shit. You're perpetually fighting an uphill battle that you never really win. You can make her feel happy for a few moments or a few hours, and then she'll go right back to struggling with her mental issues. It's like constantly winning a few small battles, but never winning the war.

>how does it influence your relationship?
I would say alot. Frankly, it's one of the main reasons our relationship never really worked out IMO (she would probably disagree though). It's very difficult to build a stable, healthy relationship with someone who has drastic ups and downs in her mood and happiness. Eventually the crying, fighting and sobbing as a result of her mental issues took it's toll on our relationship. And we eventually broke up. Our break up wasn't the direct result of this, but it was definitely the reason that i didn't want to work things out anymore.

I am on the same boat as you (haven't break up tho)
How did you break up with her? I am as fuck scare that she will kys
Am this guy

Interestingly, i wasn't the one who initiated what lead to our break up. One day she called me and told me she needed a 'break' from our relationship because of a fight we had. We separated for 2 weeks and then she told me she wanted to get back together again. Unfortunately for her over those 2 weeks i decided i didn't want this anymore. She came back to me begging for me to take her back, but i decided it was in my best interest to move on and find someone who isn't mentally ill.

To elaborate, Its not really contempt. I just see it as a weakness that should be improved/overcome rather than celebrated.

any sort of emotional disorders put a strain on a relationship. The fact is nobody wants to be around miserable people, no matter how much you love them.

Hello yes this was me. I got into a relationship with a depressed girl and ended up becoming depressed myself eventually. Just avoid it if you can.

I was on sick leave for depression when my gf had a manic episode. It was quickly resolved with antipsycotics, but she slipped into a deep depressive phase right way. Even while I was depressed myself, she was a handful to tolerate.
Depressed people are just no fun.

I was in a relationship like that me been the non depressed person, the best you can do is dump that bitch.

All depressed people are toxic as fuck.

Me.
My husband suffers from depression and has other issues. He reassures me that I do more than enough and I'm an amazing partner even if he is clearly unhappy, I reassure him that even on his worst days he's always the love of my life. Been together for the better part of the last decade and had it work alright.
I did struggle with depression in my very early 20s, so I get where he's coming from.

He's awesome, tho, and he made sure to never unload his shit on me. We worked through stuff together, but it was never him expecting me to fix his shit.
I love this man more than I love any other thing in the whole world, he's awesome.

>I see it as a weakness
That's what contempt is, you fucking piece of shit.

Do you see cancer and cerebal palsy as weaknesses too, you living piece of trash?

Really hit a nerve there huh?
I'm unsure how you're making the jump from perceiving weakness in others to disregarding/hating them for it.
And To go off of example, I don't hate or disregard people who are disabled I simply understand that they are inhibited by their condition.

slow your roll, victim

It is a weakness because it makes life for everybody more difficult.

You said you look down on your girlfriend for being depressed, you see her as a lesser, inferior person because of her illness. If you see that as a good thing, go and tell her that to her face.

>I simply understand that they are inhibited by their condition.
People who truly understand that don't look down on others, or act like disabled people can just make their disabilities go away. Depression is an inhibiting condition like any other disability, there's no overcoming it; you either live with it or you die.

Go fuck yourself, faglord. Plenty of people have to hide their pain from dicks like you until they end up killing themselves. Why? Because they're so worried about not upsetting others and being seen as weak instead of doing what they need to do to live with their pain.