GIOYC / Get It Off Your Chest

i feel the same way as you user, for over a month now

A fun morning activity: You know those friends who you love and miss but rarely speak to and who probably, understandably, hardly ever even think about you because you only chat a few times/meet up maybe once per year? Just keep thinking, nonstop, about how much they hate you and never want to see you again! Just keep doing it! Don’t stop thinking about it!

M and W - I really regret the weird things that I said to M while I was drunk last month, the ones I remember and probably all the shit I don't, and I wish I had taken more time the next morning to apologize more thoroughly because it's just eating at me, and I know the soonest I'm going to see you is July of next year, if not even longer than that, and I doubt it will be worth anything to bring up an awkward night from almost a year ago to apologize. I would never want to do anything to make either of you uncomfortable, I absolutely wouldn't want to come between you two in any way and would never have thought I even could, and I don't want anything to be weird between any of us at all. I'm truly sorry if I made it that way and wish we were closer so I felt more comfortable trying to fix it and didn't have to resort to what would probably be an equally awkward facebook message if I wanted to talk about it sooner than eight months from now. I hope I didn't ruin a chance at us being better friends and that you'll still be as excited to see me when we're next able to hang out as I will be to see you. -H

I hope it's all in my head and that it's the kind of thing no one else has thought twice about. I need to get a therapist. This social anxiety bullshit has been way out of hand for a while.

>at class
>girls here dressed up for Halloween
>cutie hat might be into me looks cute

Didn’t dress up cause it’s college. Kinda regretting it cause now I have no way to talk to her

I looked at my gf's ex-boyfriend's picture. For some reason I had a strong desire to. It was a big mistake. He's arguably better looking, though I do have height on him and a better body. And I'm better in bed. And I'm not a selfish, cheating piece of shit. But I still can't help but think of them together now and it's bothering me. I wish I could get his fucking face out of my head

I'm glad I beat my exgf

Miserable cuck.

>0 friends
>0 acquantances
>i havent spoken to anyone except my immediate family and a psychiatrist in over 2 years
>my life is controlled by my severe social anxiety
>i am in university. graduating soon
>i struggle to get a job because scared of interviewing
>if i dont get a job by the time i graduate i will sudoku
>one of my classes requres me to go to a music concert and write about it
>the concert i bought a ticket for is tonight
>i am terrified of going
>i dont know what to do or how to act
>i expect i will end up pussying out like i always do
>i hate myself and that i let myself progress to this

Oh look it’s me

what do we do?

I don't know guys, I'm on the same boat. Shit's sinking dudes!

Fix our anxiety. It’s really the only way. We’d have to slowly get out here and do things, or do a trail by fire, such wd the concert.

Either that or we get professional help .Otherwise we’re just going to die alone

>professional help
im already on a cocktail of meds. therapy doesnt do shit. all they do is tell you to face your fears and do it. there is no ideal solution.

If they are dousing you wish meds and not giving you a concrete plan to fix it, it isn’t help

im trying to get off of them. withdraw is fucking horrible. they never tell you that shit when they prescribe them. shit is only 1% more effective than placebo and these doctors prescribe like candy

They tend to prescribe them because it’s lucrative. Get off them if you can.

As for dealing with anxiety, you have to slowly deal with it. None of this “face your fears bullshit”

If it cares you to go to a concert, you can go to get over the anxiety. Otherwise you take it in steps. Start by going out. Then go to places. Then go to busy places. Then go to a busy place with the intent to just say hi with someone. Etc etc

Bad things keep happening
No money, no time to fix
Grades slipping anyway
Wife letting herself go
Letting myself go
Prayers unanswered
Just waiting to see what else spontaneously breaks or gets stolen

Whenever I am in a checkout line people always stand way too fucking close behind me. There was an old lady standing on my heels and humming a song the other day, could practically feel her breath. I asked her to back up and turned around before she could reply, I think she maybe moved back a half-step? It's like these geezers think standing on top of me is going to make the line move quicker. Maybe they know they don't have much time left so they are just in a hurry? Either way it pisses me off. I try to put my cart between me and the other person and they will still reach over my fucking cart to put their groceries on the belt when I haven't put the divider down yet and the person in front of me is still checking out. Rude and annoying, back the fuck off or I'll fart on you reeeee

I'm not trying to invalidate your feelings but it's honestly a cultural and individual thing. Some people just have smaller personal space bubbles so they might not even realize they're standing uncomfortably close. I've noticed Indians in general get really close. I usually just put my palm up and say "Personal space please" and most people get it and clear out

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>turns out the trip I'm planning wouldn't cost that much
>still have to work
>already burnout from school work

I have this psychotic dream of making it as far as i can financially and try to be successful as possible and just ending it all.

My father just gambled his monthly pension away. Now he can't pay for rent. HIS GAMBLING ADDICTION HAS TO FUCKING STOP NOW FOR GOOD, GODDAMN IT!! I'M ALREADY DYING FROM STRESS AND DEPRESSION!!!
WHAT THE HELL WAS HE THINKIIIIING!!!????
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

youtube.com/watch?v=lbM8B4M9TXE

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I'm a fucking failure and too worthless to even be called a human being
I'm so ungrateful, I have so many opportunities and I don't appreciate them
Why can't I die instead of the people who are actually worth something
I'm going to cry

Do something. Anything. You're probably a good person at heart and even if you end up working at K-Mart you'd probably end up making at least one person happy which is what counts.

>unlike me, again, everyone thinks I'm a perverted manipulative racist and everywhere I go people want me to fail and make up lies about me.

Why the fuck do girls ghost people.

I'm mostly venting but jesus christ, you have to be a real sociopathic bitch to lead someone on then just up and drop off the face of the earth mid conversation.

Seriously, a 'fuck off ya creep' would be better than ghosting.

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Maybe you're misbehaving without even being aware of it. OCD or some kind of personality disorder.

I do things. I want to get better, I work out, I help my friends when they feel down, I socialize, I make jokes so other people are happy, I do my chores, I try to do everything I can but I can't change my mindset, I still feel like a piece of shit.
I'm probably blowing a lot of shit out of proportion just to justify my sadness, but I don't give a shit anymore.
However, I appreciate you for even responding, thank you. You shouldn't spend your time on me.

>you have to be a real sociopathic bitch to lead someone on then just up and drop off the face of the earth mid conversation.
Not really. Most likely someone who received death threats or been at the receiving end of a screaming fit over rejecting someone.
Which is, well, most girls.

and ghosting prevents this how exactly? and there wasn't fucking anything to reject, just casual conversation. Ridiculous.

I’m sorry. Please don’t leave... I get excited and do and say the wrong things.

try getting ghosted by a work colleague you spent 4 years hanging round with and had fun with because she fucked up at work and then blamed you for her sacking and bunch of other work friends drew back from you as well
still seething over this even though it happened years ago

For the first time since whenver fucking when, I can't even remember, probably like 12 years ago, someone who is not a close friend actually asked me to do something together for once.
It was always me who had to reach out to people and make the first step towards friendship, and now it's someone else who just wants to hang out together. Feels strange, especially when I think about it.

And I bet she's glad your an ex

If she's like any other beaten women I've known, she probably secretly misses him horribly

You know a lot of beaten women? And that is a simple mechanism called Stockholm syndrome. It has nothing to do with actually missing the person. No one wishes or desires to be abused. Although many limp dick guy abusers like to claim otherwise to make themselves feel better and justify their actions.

Happy Halloween anons.
Hope your day goes well.

down pub drinking so i dont have to deal with little shits asking for sweets

just turn off your light

too late, already boozing

I would note I've actually had anxiety all day after this. It's not even like he's far off from what I had in my mind based on what she told me, pretty spot actually. But just seeing his face made it more real I guess. It probably wouldn't bother me if she would just cut contact completely. He's the only thing stopping me from believing she's the one I want to marry. This was such a stupid fucking mistake

You’re the only person I want but you can’t stand me.

Find somebody else. Sounds like you screwed that up too bad.

Kk

>make match account
>send out messages to 50 people who's preferences I match
>only 2 of them even bothered to view my profile
>0 responses
Well I tried. Not even getting a "no" is such a motivation killer. Fuck girls who say how hard it is to get so much attention.

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I don’t want friends, all they do is hurt you.

those aren't friends

Real friends don't just hurt you and IF they do end up hurting you, and they didn't realize they did, tell them. If a friend knows they hurt you, they apologize and make amends. If they don't do that, they are not truly a friend.

He never apologizes but it’s my fault because he’s only hurting me by pointing out my flaws. I have many and he sees them all. We can’t be friends. He doesn’t like me. I need to distance myself.

I live with a very strict religious Muslim family in California. I have not been religious myself or believed in the religion in nearly 10 years but I have kept appearances for my family thus far with none of them even having a clue.

My parents are so strict and devout that the only friends I am allowed to have have to be Muslim so that I don't sit with the infidels(kafir/kuffar). I have few non-muslim friends and only really speak to them at school. I am 22 years old and will be done with my B.S. in computer science this June 2019.

My predicament is that I can't keep this charade going for too long, I need out especially with how my family is starting to push hard on me to choose a wife from their already created list so that I could have an arranged wedding like my 3 older brothers. I have brushed every plea from them this far to the point that my younger brother(1.5 years my junior) is getting married before me. 3 of my brothers have married 1st cousins, yes the Jow Forums memes are true about incestous arranged marriages and my family, who like I said are pushing me to marry, want me to marry one of my first cousins as well. They have already forced me to sit next to one and then ask me if I liked her enough to marry her.

All of this is against everything I stand for currently and I am hoping that after I graduate in June that I will move to another state where I know no one and start over from scratch. I currently have a an internship and I will be done with it once I graduate. I plan on moving to Austin, TX since it is the most appealing considering my career path.

I feel alot less stressed out now that this is in writing. I have been feeling stressed from all this for months and have been thinking about leaving since the arranged meeting with what my parents hoped to be my wife. I have never lived on my own or away from any family ever which is why this all scares me to death.

Ever since I saw the interview I'm smitten. Girl ain't cheap.. and I want her for free. She probably listened to glamorous one too many times I reckon cause now she wants 50 to be able to snap her and that's as low as she goes. 100 for twenty minutes talk time on skype. 100 for her telephone number. 50 for panties. Thousands for an in person date not to mention flights and board. All I can afford to do is jerk my tiny cock to her videos and I have done so numerous times. I don't even have access to the premium ones. Fuck. Hopefully there's another guy that feels the same way about her and I'm not alone cause JN hated the bitch and 2017 r9k thought she was a retard. She's probably doublt digit still but far from a legitimate retard.

Most women that are beaten were asking for it. They like it. That's why almost every relationship they've been in is abusive, they look for it.

So especially if there is a pattern, like shd was beaten in previous relationships, especially more than one previous relationship, this should be taken into account when the police get involved, and the man shouldn't get into trouble because she seeks it out and instigates it. Western culture takes m on f domestic violence far far seriously. Unless she really fucks her up, that's just not right, but a choke slam here, or a back hand there should be no problem with the law. This is fair and reasonable.

You're a strong person. It's not going to be easy and when you finally have to set them straight, it's going to be even harder. Damn, I feel for you. I get it. Just stick to your own truth and dont be influenced into doing anything you don't want to.
I'm sorry but the worsr is yet to come but once you are done, live your own life to the fullest. I'm sorry but in the end you may lose your family over this. It's still better to be true to yourself.

I really like you, but I know I'm never going to be able to find a way to talk to you. You're the first person I've liked in so long, but I'm still too socially inept to ever get remotely close to you. No matter how much I've changed lately I'm never going to be brave enough to even chat with you again. I doubt you would've ever been into me anyway, even as a friend. I felt sick to my stomach on the days I didn't see you, I felt like the whole day had been wasted in spite of everything else going on, just because you weren't there. Soon I'll probably never see you again, and I'll feel alone. Back to the usual.

It's my own damn fault, I've been alone so long that I guess I clung to the idea of becoming at least friends with you too much. You awoke emotions in me that I thought I'd never feel again, feelings I thought I'd suppressed long ago after being hurt too many times. You somehow managed to break down the walls I'd put up, just by being around me and in our short conversations. Maybe it was never real, maybe I just liked the idea of you. Maybe you only talked just to be polite. Or maybe you're like me, and you just don't know what to say or how to say it. I don't know anymore. I don't know what to make of these emotions. My whole life has been so bizarre, I'm not sure what's real and what's just a desperately lonely person trying to convince themselves that they can ever be functional or truly liked again.

And shit, if this is how I feel about a crush, maybe I shouldn't even bother with real relationships, if by some miracle I get the chance in the future. I'm too emotionally dependent on other people. Maybe I should just rebuild the walls and isolate myself again. I know I should just keep working on myself, and I know there might be others in the future, but my loneliness is killing my motivation. Nothing fulfills me anymore, not even my dumb hobbies.

I'm just immature and pathetic, no matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise.

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Dude you've been fucking too many camels. Or smoking too much crack.
And obviously extremely uneducated on the real psychological background on this matter.

Did I write this in my sleep? We all really are so similar...

Devin

Feelin good today!

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Thanks user, I am expecting to go through hell to eventually reach my dreams. I have been trying and thinking of ways to not ruin communication with my family since even through our differences in religious opinion I love them deeply.

I have been thinking of speaking to a counselor since my I pay for that through school but I have never bothered even though I know I should.

I'm sorry. It's got to be difficult. I know you love them and don't want to lose them but it seems you already know that might be a possibility.

They won't agree or understand you going your own way. Look into counseling because it's going to be difficult and you could use someone to share with.

Good luck!

I came to Jow Forums fully aware I wouldn't get much advice or input, but reading about other people's problems makes me feel better about mine.

If you're interested I'll type out my woman problem story, but it's long, confusing and with more twists than a soap opera.

lol yeah, I guess we really are.
At least we have each other, user.

took a walk this morning, found myself wondering and realizing that even though ive lived here for 8 years now i dont think of this as home, and i probably never will. and i dont have a home to go back too because my parents split and neither of them live on their own. i feel so lost and the one person i want to talk to about it isnt talking to me right now. not that i blame them, its my fault. and the one person i should be able to talk to about it ignores me all day unless he wants something. im so lonely and sad. i dont know what to do with myself anymore.

Nati, even if our time together will be short I want to be with you, spend time with you and tell you how much I like you

...

I hate women, dealing with them is like dealing with a living embodiment of capitalism. Am I supposed to be flattered that you like status and wealth? Am I supposed to be happy you use me to get a controlled enviroment? Because I truly fucking hate you.

Why does it constantly feel like we are in the end of times but IT NEVER FUCKING ENDS

Nothing ends, Adrian. Nothing ever ends.

i wish i had a time machine, id do so many things differently

V., I think you made a mistake when you left me. All this talk of being so over me, yet when I came over for sex you were the one who insisted on cooking together, me spending the night, cuddling and kissing.
You cuddled the shirt I used to sleep in after I moved out, not because you missed me but because you liked the smell. Yeah right. And now you're drowning yourself in work, gym and parties and alcohol, barely making it home to sleep. Sounds healthy and well-adjusted and totally not like someone who is coping with or trying to forget something. Remember, you ended things because you were unhappy and yet didn't manage to speak up for a year. I don't want you back now. You made your bed now lay in it. I want the woman you were 2-3 years ago, not who you have become.

L., I'm starting to realize why you apologized for dragging me into this.
I see where you're coming from, and I get it, but that's still a stupid decision imho. If you feel as much for me as you are saying and showing and not just dragging me along you should end it with him. Don't want to do this to him? You think faking a relationship is better? You want to lose the "whore" stigma. What do you think will happen when someone with a track record of cheating forces herself to stay in an unhappy relationship? Do you think he'll be fine when he finds out the whole truth about us?

M., go fuck yourself. Idk if you're jealous or why you have to sabotage every one of my relationship attempts. This is the second time you've crossed me, do you honestly think I'll let you do it a third time? That's not what friends do. Don't even try to talk to me, there's no justification for what you did. Be glad I don't hit women when I See you around. I'd love to spit in your face you filthy piece of shit

Man I just want a girl who'll watch netflix while letting me play with her boobs.
But I'm in a profession with literally no girls. This sucks.

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how in the fuck did everything wind up like this? im such a fuck up, i cant handle life anymore and i feel theres only one way to fix it.

I'd be lying if I said that I didn't miss you. We fought a few times and butted heads because we were so different, but I won't ever forget that lap dance and that night we had together. I hope you're enjoying your time in the afterlife, I'll see you there one day.

i havent spoken for 5 days now
i dont remember speaking for more than one sentecne straight in te last montg
im forgetting my own language
there is no hope letf

If you can go get a job, do it. As someone who's reputation is approaching nil, you really don't know how good you have it.

Have a nice Halloween everyone

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i have a job, i have my own place. but im so lonely. litterally no one wants to talk to me. my co workers hate my by best friend has decided to stop talking to me and everyone treats me like shit.

I hate the fuck out of myself.

Why

it's okay man

same

Why? What did you do? Do you not work hard enough? Do you come off as a jerk? Did you say something mean? Did you trigger someone?

same. talk to anons online a few times throughout the day. it helps.

im think i do come off as a jerk, im the head worker on my line and theres this one chick who always trys to one act like shes in control and i stand up to her and now they all hate me. the thing is i never wanted to be in charge of anything, i was told by my employer that i had to be. and now every person in my life has turned there back on me at once and i dont know what to do or how to fix it or to just stop trying

Why does everyone hate themselves so much, if people knew what kind of person I was they might say "hey at least I'm not that asshole, maybe I'll just get on with life."

Seriously, people who think they know me well believe I'm some sort perverted manipulative racist, when that's simply not true.

Get on with your lives. Let me be the one that's ostracized from society. I deserve it, not you good people. Go have happy lives, mine is fucking over. My reset button is broken and can't be fixed, yours works fine.

Are you on?
Does everyone immediately know everything about you and the people responsible for taking everyone and everything away from you say that you are going to be an esper and people hear all of your thoughts for ten years, turning you into a sociopath and driving you to sucidal thoughts every day?
Are people holding your family hostage?
No?
Then quit whining about relationships, they ruin your life anyway!
Work on yourself while you still have the chance! Before they take every last person and thing away!

I love weed.
I was always aimless in life and never had a goal.
I always heard drugs were bad, then I went to Colorado. I hate cooking and i don't want a career in the kitchen, but the weed is giving me an out. I love making edibles and tinctures. I want to go back to school to learn chemistry now.

Ironic as it is, weed is giving me a direction in life

>weed leads to interest in chemistry

many such cases

I'm trapped in ths situation where I have a ful ltime job, but can't save money due to all the expenses I have. Just want to move with my woman and live on a modest house with lots of time to spend with ourselves. But have tuo keep living in this my highly toxic mother's house. Being on a ldr makes it even harder. Just feeling so much useless. I really want to move out with you, travel for charity with you, help you to get that grade, have children with you. Why does it have to be so impossible? Saving 150 bucks a month won't take us anywhere. All the efforts I make seem useless. I feel useless