Been dating a girl for about 2 and a half years and she revealed today she had a miscarriage 9 months ago. She says the miscarriage is due to the stress I give her and because I don't spend enough time with her.
I feel the opposite is true, If I have plans and she calls and messages me I will immediately cancel these plans to hang out with her. One time I stayed home to work on an assignment and she went and got a tattoo and did drugs with the artist.
I know at first this looks like an inappropriate response but as a child she was sexually abused by her fathers friend so I understand that she can be a bit radical sometimes.
I feel horrible that I've caused this miscarriage and i can't open up or talk to anyone about it as doing it with her will just make her upset and lead to an argument. I can't talk to my friends about it either as none of them wish to hear about this relationship anymore because it's ''to much'' She's already on anti depressants because of me and claims that I have psychopathic tendencies
What can I do anons? would you recommend I see a psychologist or something?
Are you seriously allowing yourself to be blamed for her body's issue so easily?
Christopher White
Doubt you caused the miscarriage. She is 100% trynna guilt you. Look out. It could even be that she didn't even have a miscarriage at all
Aaron Garcia
Dumps responsibility on you for her own lack of intelligence and has you believing (partially at least) this is your fault. Tell her to get her shit together, this is unproductive at best and abusive behavior at worst. That's not healthy behavior that dame is exhibiting. More important, the point of a relationship is being able to communicate, not much of a point if she's breaking that down.
Jack Taylor
You are dating a childish, manipulative, emotionally damaged woman. You've allowed this person to hold you hostage with her incredible dysfunction and absolutely absurd notions that you are responsible for all of her problems. You need to first break up with this woman immediately and then as soon as you're done with that conversation schedule an appointment with a therapist. Her unresolved childhood trauma has rendered her 100% incapable of having a healthy relationship with you. For all intents and purposes you are being verbally abused. You have some serious issues, user, and being attracted to mentally ill women is the big one. Seek help.
Tyler Peterson
1. Why do you even trust her?
2. Was she at doctor? It is kinda hard to tell differenc between miscarriage and heavy period in first stage of pregnancy.
3. If she was pregnant, why didnt she tell you? Was it even yours?
4. How could she become pregnant? Are you two actively trying for baby? Or did your anticonception "failed"?
5. Miscarriage is very very common during first stage of pregnancy. There is so much stuff which can go wrong during early development of fetus and her body will simply flush it all out in case or error.
6. Why would you consider it YOUR fault? Why would you consider it ANYBODY fault? Please educate yourself about how pregnancy actually works.
7. There is no objective reason for her to not tell you this asap unless she had extra motive. Also no reason to feel bad about it.
To me it sounds like she intentionally wanted to feel you bad or manipulate you into certain action. Ask her, not Jow Forums.
1. I like to think my partner wouldn't lie about something so big.
2. She didn't go to the doctors she said for the entire month she felt off and didn't have her perdiod she went to the bathroom and lots and lots of blood came out (more so than her normal period) she said she spoke to her mother about it who's a nurse and she said she had a similar thing happen when she has a miscarriage.
3. Her and her mother were concerned I would run away and flee the country. She says during a previous conversation I had said if she got pregnant I would tell her to abort and leave (this is a conversation I don't recall happening and it's out of character for me)
4. She's got the implant but says there's still a small percent chance she can get pregnant.
5. it sounds like her body flushed it out
6. Her emotional reactions are kind of like eggshells, she will breakdown and cry for hours if she feels wronged and go drink and do (weed) with her father. This could have led to it as a result of my actions.
7. Her reason for not telling me was encase I became verbally or physically abusive. (something I wouldn't of done)
Since this she's wanted the dates and year for when we're moving in, getting married and having a child. I've told her I want to graduate and have a secure job first but she's adamant she has a structure so she doesen't become one of those woman aged 25 who has no child and all the good men are taken.
Sebastian Howard
>cry for hours >alcohol and weed >drugs tolerated by her parents This is /adv so i will tell you advice even though we both know you wont follow it: this woman isnt marriage material. She is timed bomb.
No. Under no circumstance should you or anyone in your position try to cure a mentally ill girl. She's 100% fucked in the head. Your only recourse is to leave her. If you refuse to leave her then you accept responsibility for all the fucked up problems that her insanity causes you.
Jayden Williams
I would start by doing whatever it takes to make her find less harmful coping mechanisms than drugs.
Who am i kidding, i would run the moment i learned about her past and habits. Also i bet she got her anticonception removed without your knowledge.
OP marry this catch ASAP you are literally raping her with your failure as a man Hope your at least paying for her medications in cash. Only insecure fucks ask for receipts
Adrian Reed
>revealed she had a miscarriage >you didn't know until today That child was not yours, dump her.
Leo Bailey
What makes you think that? It could of been in the first or second month
Isaac Clark
OP, I will say the same thing as others, please get out of this relationship. This person you're dating has a lot of issues and while I'm sure they also have many redeeming qualities, and you can help or support them hypothetically, you can't fix someone. In order to realistically be justified in providing help and support to her, she would need to be able to admit that she has problems and decide that she wants to get better, and show that she is committed enough to take actions consistently or attempt to, like therapy and other forms of healing and self-improvement. Based on what you've said about her, all these conditions are highly unlikely.
Like Jordan Peterson has said: You can't try to save someone who is drowning if they're thrashing around and grabbing and pulling at you and not cooperating, they'll just drag you down with them. As dark as it seems, you'd rather save yourself and have only one drowned person as opposed to two.
Christopher Lee
>could of Wew. It's could've, my man. Short for "could have."
Shitposting aside, I'm not sure that you can trust her. With only the knowledge I have on this situation it seems like she's emotionally manipulating and abusing you. Her claiming she's on antidepressants because of you, and saying you're a psychopath? Gaslighting you? Lying because she claims she's afraid of you?
These are big, BIG red flags. Like, the biggest, reddest flags. Believe me. You need to get out of there. Genuinely. Hell, you might want to talk to a therapist just to get the bullshit she's been feeding you removed.
Ryder Nguyen
>Lol OP should throw away a 2 and a half year relationship cause his gf is on her period
Repeat after me:
>Yes dear, it's awful. I'm sorry this happened to us.
Or you can marry a cyborg that has no emotions when trauma happens.
Jackson Ramirez
Sorry, I forgot another common sign of an abusive partner: feeling like you have to walk on eggshells around them.
You've basically perfectly described an emotionally abusive GF. You might want to audio record you breaking up with her because she sounds like the type to threaten herself with a knife or threaten to claim you raped her if you leave.
Liam Reyes
I think if I were to do it over the phone would be better. She's had incidents in the past (prior to me) were police have been called because of an argument with her brother. She was then taken to a psych ward for a few days.
Kayden Martin
Oof. Whatever route you take, be safe. Maybe have a witness with you lol.
Xavier Allen
You poor dumb fucker, you got yourself a real screw ball. She's lying so you should leave her.
if you think she's not lying you should also leave her bc if you genuinely gave her a miscarriage from stress you shouldn't be with each other. Have some self respect.
