ITT: ask the opposite gender anything

Dating Apps/Events
Learn how to take pictures and write a profile for dating like you are applying to a job, but for your long term goals.

Been looking at dating apps, but they seem mostly bots and for some reason people that really love to hike. And I'm just not hitting people's buttons I guess.

Doesn't help I'm not photogenic either, I'm pretty sure I look better in reality at least but not even my sisters could take good pictures of me (though given its not like I was the focus)

Alright let me clarify.
There is this girl who, without getting into the details, has made it obvious she's into me (let's just assume this part so I don't have to type out a three page story).
However she decided to remain in her unhappy relationship out of convenience and similarly "stupid" reasons.
Yet even then she told me she'd rather spend more time with me than less and doesn't know if it was the right choice or not.
We're both in college and frequent the same bar and I'm having good luck with women so far. Should I be considerate towards her and avoid anything directly in front of her or is that unnecessary?

Such is for all media platforms, and you have to actually clean up your image (shave/haircut/new semi casual clothing/eyebrows) in order to get a photo of you that looks nice. The hollidays are coming up so take pictures at hollidays.

Pic with friends (huge bonus if some are grills)
Pic outside, pic w dog
U have to pay for match but the grills there actually want a relationship not to just smash

>unhappy relationship

You sure about that or is it just shit she tells you to make it ‘okay’ she’s flirting with some dude who aint her bf? Just drop that shit. there are plenty of women who aren’t fucked in the head like that mess and who are totally single. She can say all she wants but her actions tell the real story. You will learn to stay away from those types. Take it from someone who knows.

at any point is it ever possible that a female friend would be as horny as me and just randomly want to fuck just to get their rocks off

No friends atm. Just moved and having been in an a shitty program I've basically had no life or friends for the past 3 years due to constant travel.

Actually did get on match, wrote my essay just trying to get a serious relationship and looking at other men looks about right. My photo is shit but it's the best I could manage.

I'm hoping I get at least a coffee date out of it and maybe make friends with a girl. But so far it hasn't been looking good for me 0/35 so far. I might be screwed.

It’s possible and i have done it once or twice ,but i have always gone for a dude i didn’t consider an important friend and completely dropped the friendship after. No need to complicate it and have him catch feelings.

It is possible to have fwb relationships where you are like good friends. The first step is to be able to describe such situation and your boundaries so you can negotiate them and your openness to it happening.

From what I can tell it's pretty shaky and we did more than flirting.
I know there are women without a track record of cheating out there, but that's beside the point.
I know I'm "in the right" to pick up women left and right because she made her decision, but I'd still rather not hurt her or make her angry because she's been genuinely nice to me (and she'll give extra lessons in a class I really need help with and promised to get me through it)

Wow no prizes as to why its shaky. She’s cheating on her man with you why would it be happy?
Shes Genuinely nice? By exposing you to stds and who knows what else? You think you’re the only one she’s fucked?

Stop messing around with that shit . Either accept you’re a shit human being making excuses to be nice to her and just keep fucking her, or drop her completely and learn how to study like a big boy. Fucking disgusting

Very much so.
>female friend wanted me to "help her with a zipper on her back" in the changing room, I made it clear I am faithful to my gf
>ex fucked an old friend to get over me then cut contact with him
>female friend told me "if [name of her bf] ever wants an open relationship I know who I'll go to"

Seconding this, as long as you are open about it everything is possible.
I have a fwb I do stuff with other would tell you never to do: spend the night and cuddle and go out together to the movies or for dinner.
Just make sure not to mention or hint at other partners, that's just rude.

Girls, can I be your Disney prince?

Yeah no shit, she told me it wasn't the first time she "made a mistake" but with me it's different (lol.)
I mean we got along really well before that first night. Maybe I shouldn't have hit on her. Maybe the two of them should have worked out their differences. Maybe she should have rejected me instead of holding my hand, finding an excuse to go to my room and start kissing me. What's done is done.
She's one year above me in the same program, we run into each other almost every day. I'd prefer to have the least amount of bad vibes possible.

On dating sites, do girls usually take a while to answer to your first message?
How much time on average?
What's the longest that you "had to wait"?
What's the shortest?

> do girls usually take a while to answer to your first message?

if they are interested then yes. The ones that like you first are more likely.

>How much time on average?
High Interest: Minutes
Average: Hours
Acceptable: Day

Anything Else: Surprise!

Girls, broke up with long term gf. Meet this girl at a party exgf coworker threw.We hit it off lots in common txt for week straight about everything.
I didn't imply I wanted to fuck her or date. Just think she is cool like the conversations. She ignore me for a week. I txt her told her I just wanted a friend. She says that be fine. Than is all like but seriously I have no time for a relationship. Don't know how she got this idea? Feel fucking stupid now.
Did she start to get feeling or ideas?

yeah feelings wouldn't be an issue, especially with friends whom i know how they are in relationships

this would be ideal, two friends who are like "fuck it you're attractive enough, i'm attractive enough, let's have some fun"

funny thing is i think i've had a "situation" like that before, but i was too fucking spergy to realize what was going on

Girls, how much of an instant no is it if a guy asks you our or confesses to you over text?

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Asking out is fine, confessing is always a no.

Girls

I was hanging out with a girl who was a former coworket I know and when a guy, also a former coworker, walked in she was like "oh god its him lets leave" She also called him weird and a creep

Doest that mean they banged?

not necessarily

also not girl

My bf is very very sweet and caring towards animals and was wondering if that’s what he’s going to be like around kids too? He’s a nice guy in general.

kids are not animals

kids require next level empathy

He could be.
All it means is that he's capable of being sweet and caring, which is still a good thing.

I care deeply about animals, too (and so did my namesake).
Take from that what you will.

>claims to care deeply about animals
>hates black people
Wat?

The Waffen SS was the most diverse army in the world though and the blacks were free not buffalo soldiers

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I have never wanted to test it out that they cant get feelings and just drop anyone i sleep with. Once having the dude swear ‘i wont catch feelings we’re just friends” and then act like an idiot blowing my phone up like some concerned boyfriend was a bad enough experience and many girls feel the same way. Begging for the friendship back or similar things would just show that you’re too emotionally invested.

Why is it so hard to get in a relationship with women

It isn’t.

I love animals. I am ambivalent about children.

Apparently not cuz she rejected me lol dab I wanna kms help

Could someone help me with this conversation I'm having with this girl? I'm really inexperienced with this whole flirting thing and seem to have hit a road block. Here's the first half of the conversation, I'll post the rest if someone agrees to help, as well as provide the angle I was thinking

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You realise she didn't turn you down because of how you asked right?? She's just not interested, move onto the next one and don't beat yourself up about it.

girls, why would you not respond to my text but send me a snaps?

Ok, then why are more men single than women?

You better post the rest because so far all I can see is that you're behaving like an ass.

Alright guys I have a question.

How do you tell the difference between his sincere interest or a rebound?

It's the opposite actually.

More Women in the world see.

lol are you retarded
you have to be kind to people

Actually I'll just post the rest now - don't want to waste anyone's time if they do want to help

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Rebounds fizzle out fast. There's no way to tell beforehand. Just avoid jumping into a relationship with someone who is newly single.

Jesus what the fuck dude. There's a difference between teasing and being mean and what you're doing isn't teasing.

you're not fun to talk to

you are pulling a bait and switch like you are hunting

Why do I even have a sex drive in the first place? Can't I just get rid of this stupid shit?

If he didn't just get out of a relationship, you have a guarantee.

If you want a good but not perfect indicator, don't whore yourself out immediately--he won't bother sticking around if he can't use your body. However, an unfortunate (fortunate to my idea of morality, but not for your question) side effect is some guys who might be genuine would leave, too. But anyone who stays is almost guaranteed to be so.

I had a few conversations with this girl and she's literally a 10/10 to me, both looks and personality/interests, but after looking at her instagram I saw she went to a few pride parades and self identifies as gay. However, it looks like she's only been gay for a year, so I'm wondering if maybe she's not set in stone with her sexuality, as I've noticed a lot of lesbian women are still attracted to men but decided to identify as lesbian after they had a bad experience with men. Should I still go for it or am I being delusional?

How do I get a girlfriend who'd be committed to making me achieve my full potential?
Most of the women I meet areonly interested in what I have already achieved myself. I'd prefer to have a relationship with a girl who will make me do everything I'm capable of.

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Same reason you shit and piss

to humble you

Being nice gets you no where. I've learn you have to tease them a bit. I have tried sparking conversations by trying to talk about their interests, or sincerely compliment them in a non sexual manner, and get absolutely no where.

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yes it is very common to turn a dyke bitch

Lmao oh come on it's not that bad is it?

>single mother
Drop it, retard

No shit being a nice guy doesn't win you anything but let me say it again: this isn't teasing. You're just being a cunt.

you aren't doing it well
teasing is still kind
you are doing some autistic negging shit

I actually don't care, if she's young and the child is still young. If I truly fell for her I would love the kid as my own

>bragging about pulling a single mom

she cute, but dude that's not a big catch to hang on the community wall

Ok then love guru's, how do i do it differently?

You did Ok

but you just aren't going to silver tongue win somebodies heart with PUA tricks

You had an easier mark and your 9mm bullets were sufficient.

You would have been dead if you were against larger prey

How is that even possible?

How did you come to the conclusion I was bragging?
And that last response I sent her was a joke, but maybe I really do suck at this hard because neither she nor you guys seem to realize I was joking

cuz she cute man

If you like her then I say go for it.

She qt

No shit that's because it doesn't read like a joke. It reads like you're a guy trying to use some lines he got out of a self help book at best and at worst it just reads like you're a prick. Part of using teasing is that you have to sus the other person out and make sure they understand you're being funny before you commit to saying she's shallow and offering to fly her to Paris.

Yeah I know. I just feel like shit and need something to pinpoint as what went wrong right now.

I like that analogy. Its weird: I do really well sometimes, but fail absolutely miserablely or get no response like 70% of the time. As I mentioned I'm very inexperienced with this. I've basically spent my 20s getting degrees or working.ive only ever been in one serious relationship and that was in high school (if that even counts). Most all of my sexual partners have been one night stands. Yes I very well may be on the spectrum.

Fair enough. How do you typically start conversations with girls that have next to nothing on their profiles? This is my first time at online dating, and as I mentioned I have next to no experience with offline dating

I shit and piss because I eat and drink

Girls, what would your thoughts be if your brother was dating an MtF transgender? If you don't have a brother, lets just say friend.

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I wouldnt go for people with nothing on their profiles, they are boring and bad at social interaction or very rarely, they are new accounts. Because if you have nothing to say about yourself then you cant put anything on your profile. You could start with ‘hey, whats up’ and move onto questions about their hobbies and easy shit if they respond well.

Guess Sex Urges are similar to Thirst and Hunger then huh?

I would feel cautious and wary for my brother/friend. Just because i have not yet met a transgender person who was mentally healthy. They’re fine enough to hang out and party with, but the ones i’ve met are on a slippery slope. It is stressful to transition and usually doesn’t go well, so it’s hard not to become crazy from that i guess. Otherwise, i wouldn’t care. It’s not me sticking my dick into her so it’s not my business.

I will die without food and water

I appreciate the encouragement user
Okay that makes sense but how do you lead even when they have stuff on their profile? I've tried doing that countless times over the past week and hardly get anything. And I'm not even that bad looking of a guy I don't think (at the least I'm tall and fairlywell built, straight teeth)

I'm at home sick with a fever so I'm going to dissect this for you and attempt to explain all the reasons it doesn't work.

>you're cute, too bad you go for jocks
This implies that you think she's shallow. It could possibly work as a joke if there was some kind of punch line, but there wasn't and so it just seems vaguely rude. She gives you the benefit of the doubt "what lol" in the hopes that you'll explain the joke, but that's not what you do. Instead, you play it straight and now it seems like you're not joking at all

>I have a good eye I can spot these kinds of girls
To make it worse you phrase it so matter-of-factly and what you're saying is that she's a shallow thot and you can spot them from a mile away.

>lmao then you don't have a good eye
>>you're right it takes time to get to know "some" girls, so what makes you different?
"some" girls makes it sound like some fedoralord "all gurls are dumb thots" kind of statement, and that you're doubtful she could be one of those rare types, and then you crown it by asking her to justify herself. "Impress me, bitch." By this point you've lost any chance of playing this off as a joke. You now sound totally sincere like none of this was supposed to be funny. To be teasing she would have to be on board by this point, laughing with you instead of at you.

(1/2)

>what's the catch
Rude on every level desu. There are flattering ways of expressing disbelief that a girl with all those qualities could exist, and this isn't one of them. You claim to be an ex nice-guy but this is some nice-guy tier shit where you pay a backhanded compliment and wonder why it doesn't go over well. You are under the same misunderstanding as a lot of guys here that being nice doesn't get girls, so the opposite of being nice is being mean. It doesn't work like that. When I'm being an """"asshole"""" to a girl I am constantly making sure we're on the same page. I'm giving her shit, but I'm also giving her opening to do the same to me, and I'm not leaving any misunderstandings hanging. A failed joke can still be a good laugh as long as you don't just leave it out in the sun to rot.

And then in a complete non-sequitor you do this:
>lets go on a date, fuck in the shower, then fly to paris
Because by this point you've failed to establish that some or any of this is a joke, you sound sincere once again. This message might have worked as your opening line because it definitely would have seemed like a joke then, but after the rest you just make yourself sound like the kind of guy who tries to buy affection with extravagant gifts and dates.

(2/2)

I can't tell you what I would have said. Like wit, charm is situational and can't be conjured after the fact. Try to focus less on delivering lines to achieve a certain effect and more on trying to be fun and making sure that your humour is coming across as intended.

kek

good point

Most people make dating profiles and forget about it or dont like you enough to respond. Or your pictures suck. General ‘i’m a well adjusted positive person’ pictures of you outside doing stuff are good. Just keep trying. Don’t make jokes in the beginning. Most jokes aren’t good for someone you don’t know. Be really respectful and polite. Don’t put yourself down. You can always start with ‘Hi! I see you like x band! I like them too, what’s your favorite song/what aong do you recommend from them?’ Basically , you need to normie yourself in the very beginning, so girls know that you have some social skills and won’t be embarassing or weird in public. No need to get super interesting or creative with an opening line, but you can. talk to them about something they like on their profile. Don’t copy paste ‘openers’ as girls have all seen them before, and they feel offended to be treated like a number.

Dont know how to talk to women. I was raised in a men only college, and because i didn't have a lot of friend in highschool never went to partys or to whatever social events, never really learn what to talk about and how to approach. Some advice could be useful.

Women are just people. Talk to them like you would talk to guys. Tone down the crude shit if you're a crude person.

Remember, they're more afraid of you than you are of them.

This , apart from the last line maybe

Christ... That really was a bad attempt. Tbh I'm surprised she's still talking to me. Do I give up at this point? I think if I am to proceed any further I should come clean and tell her my last post was an attempt at a joke,abd then maybe try to transition it into talking about shared interests. Idk man I may be a lost cause. Thank you for spelling it all out for me though.
I just made the account and only have two pictures so perhaps that's part of the reason. Also yes of course I'm just not going to be everyone's (or very many for that matter) cup of tea. I have tried leaning on what thry have in their profile and haven't really gotten any results, but yes I think you have a point that I haven't given it enough time (having made the account less than a week ago)

What does it mean if you ask a girl out but they say they don't have time off for a while, (nov 16).

should I message them then or would that be weird.

I don't know what you should do. Try to salvage it if you like, there's nothing to be lost in doing that.

The reason talking to them about the interests they list in their profile doesn't work is because it's boring as fuck. Remember that on dating sites/apps people are looking for romantic connections and it's much harder to do this over text than it would be in person. Women need to be invested in a guy before they'll be interested in him in that way, and opening with "oh hey you like to hike that's cool" is bland as fuck. It doesn't encourage her to form that attachment, it encourages her to write you off as just another guy with nothing interesting to say. As you say, being nice is a losing game, teasing and being funny is a winning game, you just need to practice how to get humour across because you're failing miserably in those screenshots.

Means she's not interested.

How do I handle my natural sex drive?

You can come clean about it being a joke but don’t sperg out. You probably will. She’s still talking to you for some reason. Possibly she’s bored.

“Honestly i’m nervous and tried to make some lame jokes that fell flat earlier, can i make it up to you by taking you to dinner/coffee/whatever ;)” this would be about the least autistic way to do this. I still worry you’ll sperg in person and fuck it up. Seriously dont fuck up my nice moves dude just play it cool.

Never ever go full “ sorry omg i suck omg i disrespected you” unless it’s your wife and you really fucked up.

Also you only have 2 pictures? Just halt it now. You are crippling yourself very badly. Get some more pictures of yourself. Preferably taken by a photographer friend. 2 picture profiles scream “i gained lots of weight and these are the last ones i look good in”. Have 5 nice pics of you in good lighting looking happy/peEaceful . and then try again.

Thanks for the advice my friend

Stop being a cunt. You are not being funny, you're being an ass and embarrassing yourself.
And on top of that this interaction is so forced, like you learned your lines going in, and it feels creepy as shit.

Be genuine. Don't treat women like they're some sort of magical entity you never encountered, don't treat them like crap - treat them like normal people. Stand your ground if necessary, apologise if you think you fucked up. Tell them what you think, not what they want to hear. Make them laugh.