Gf thinks watching porn is cheating

I don't think porn is cheating.
I would advise against watching it, though.
It's poison.
Immediate gratification with minimal effort.
It sets unrealistic standards (dicks under 10 inches are laughable; tits less than D are niche)
It teaches you the wrong shit (moves no one enjoys but looks good on camera).
My biggest grip with it is that it is literally cuckold behavior.
The rise in that fetish is a result of porn (and female empowerment if we're honest).
You are literally watching a girl you want to fuck get dicked by another dude.
Even worse, since niggers are still seen as an exotic taboo, you get a double whammy.
You are literally having a climax to Django fucking your dream girl.

Your girlfriend is coming from a bad place, like quit smoking to buy her makeup.

2D/3D girls won't help. In some cases, its worse. You will never meet these women. They are drawn to perfection. It's such an impossible standard to live up to.
I would still recommend quitting porn. Masterbating is fine (like in moderation).
Dude spice shit up with your girl. Shes obviously bored. Make her want it. I don't know how you fuck but women definately want the D. They're just reserved about it. Or worse, internalize societal views on it (every 90s, early 2000s sitcom where the dude begs for sex and the enlightened wife who's out of his league begrudgingly gives it to him on his bday)

Dude it's simple:

> Honey I need sex
> If you don't fuck me enough then I'm gonna look at porn

A) She fucks you more and you don't need porn
B) She still does not fuck you enough and you just break up with her, or stop giving a shit and look at porn when you want

Never let a woman control your life. It will never end pleasantly.

This is where the insecurity is a problem. While our sex is actually pretty nice and she's a solid 7-8, after 8 years it can get repetitive so I've tried introducing those things. I've bought her costumes and asked her to speak in accents (which she can do very well normally) but she thinks that by asking her to do that, I'm saying her normal self isn't good enough. I think you give good advice regarding attitude and enthusiasm though, even if I'm not getting anything out of it initially it'll be beneficial for our relationship if I make her feel sexy.

>When you need to jerk it and she doesn't give you stuff, do it without porn

Got any suggestions?

I agree that porn is shit and that's also why I want to quit (though I never watched interracial). I don't agree that 2D is necessarily the same though, or that 3D non-porn is the same. Just because they set unrealistic standards doesn't mean I don't love my missus. My missus is fine with me having $200 scale models of my favourite anime girls displayed around the house, and they don't make me care for her any less.

As for the boredom thing, no she does love fucking, probably even more than me (if anything I'm the one who's bored), she's just always too tired after work.

This is what I used to say before I got into a long-term relationship, but I think it's incredibly naive advice. I'm 27, it's time for me to get married and have kids. We get along very well in almost every way, if I had never gotten into porn then there would be 0 problems. I will never be able to find someone who has as much in common with me again, let alone someone who has common interests and is this pretty and kind.

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Tell her to fuck you more or to fuck off, if he doesn't want to please you and satisfy your basic human needs leave her right away.
Wtf does she wants? To castrate you or what?

Women do. It's touching yourself, to other people, when you're claiming to be monogamous. That's the opposite of monogamy.

>perfect
>not perfect
I hate to armchair you but consider that you're romanticizing what IS there to justify what is NOT.
My opinion is unchanged: you two are suffering communication issues and since sex is a holdup eight years in, I can only guess what else is going unnoticed or unchecked. More importantly, what have you lost objectivity on? There's a lot of questions.

Relationships are not simple. They're sort of complicated by nature-- the idea that more humans would be a good solution to anything cept mass manual labour is generally flawed, as we all well know that each added human generally increases the chance of errors, and the more humans, the more volatile the reaction to that error.

If you want to figure out how to not piss her off...
...why the FUCK would you ask Jow Forums?
WHY isn't this a conversation you have with her and HOW did you get eight years deep and think Jow Forums was a good place for perspective?
>t. 8-years-relationship as well

>been together for 8 years
>its somehow never been a problem until now
Tell her to fuck off if its some new crusade she just hit you with.

If I had to list every minor complaint, I'd add that she can be messy sometimes (dumps her clothes in a pile next to the bed when she gets home from work and is too tired to carry them to the washing basket) and is sometimes forgetful (will leave her keys in the house occasionally, or forget to lock the door). She's improved a lot with both though, and continues to try to improve and because I'm autistically organised there usually aren't any serious problems arising from it. We've been looking at engagement rings recently and I wanted this issue sorted before I sign my life to her, which I otherwise have no qualms about doing. I've talked to some friends as well but I just haven't been able to settle on a solution. Or maybe I'm just too tied to the idea of my own self-indulgence.

It's been a problem for a while but as I said, I intend to ask her to marry me in the next few months and I want it sorted once and for all before then.

This guy gets it.

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Btw used to have that picture as my screen saver. Ex hated it. I loved that she hated it.

>Just because they set unrealistic standards doesn't mean I don't love my missus
>I'm the one who's bored
Literally the point I am making. Generations of children had fun with sticks and balls. Video games ruined that shit forever.
Doing the same shit can be boring, but I assure you that it would have taken you longer to get there if pornhub wasn't available (or exhentai).

>I'm 27, it's time for me to get married and have kids.
Why? Wtf happen at 27 that didnt happen at 26 and wouldn't happen at 28.
Why are you fucking breeding? There are countless kids out there with no families. Go make their lives suck less before you yawn into your wife and pump out narccism out of perceived societal expectations.

>We get along very well in almost every way, if I had never gotten into porn then there would be 0 problems.
Now who's being naive?

>I will never be able to find someone who has as much in common with me again, let alone someone who has common interests and is this pretty and kind.
Bro get your shit together and work on that self esteem. Your cunt ain't Neo.

I'm so glad you're not my partner
Porn is such a cancer on modern men

>inb4 bunch of angry porn addicted losers respond and try to validate their addiction to plastic vagina

Are you attacking fleshlight? I embrace that shit. If you're gonna mastbate, do it to something akin to the real thing. Your knuckles are too hard and controlled that your teaching your dick to cum to unrealistic grips.

>Wtf happen at 27 that didnt happen at 26

We graduated uni and got full-time jobs. We want to have 3+ kids and it's best to have them all out by the time the woman is in her early-mid 30s (she's the same age as me).

I don't really know what your point is with the rest of the post. Yes, porn has probably damaged our sex life long-term. Yes, there are other minor problems but this is by far the most serious. Yes, I could probably be happy with someone else, but it's not really relevant because I'd lose years of time finding that other person if I even could and they'd come with their own problems.

I agree with you. I've never once taken any sort of illicit drug, I only drink minimally, I play vidya only irregularly, but porn is such a hard habit to break.

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>i don't really know what your point is with the rest of the post.
>earlier
>We've been together 8 years and she's pretty much perfect in every other way. No way I'd get a girl as good again.
Later
>if I had never gotten into porn then there would be 0 problems
You right now.
>Yes, there are other minor problems
>Yes, I could probably be happy with someone else

Stop putting this cunt on a pedestal.

You're not being helpful at this point. I didn't ask if I should break up with my gf. I asked what I can do to resolve the porn issue.

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Tell her it's the same as her using a dildo or vibrator.

Talk to her, not Jow Forums man. You're banking on some sort of solve-all panacea. The internet is a big place so you're hoping some big ol' macguffin comes out of this.

It won't. Talk to your partner, ask what you can do, tell her you do not feel fully satisfied.

She is okay with me masturbating if I don't use a 3D stimulus. She doesn't masturbate.

I've explained it to her but she doesn't really understand. She doesn't spend much time on the internet and has never masturbated. Honestly I was expecting to receive suggestions for non-porn fap material, but was hoping for something outside of the box (other than breaking up with her).

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Stop using porn.
You whole situation is boring.
Like holy shit this thread must be a live demonstration of your sex life.
I am trying to advise you to quit porn.
How? Just stop. You can't? Stop being a compulsive freak. Bang your girlfriend if you must. Can't bang your girlfriend because you're bored? Do you genuinely think porn is going to help? Girlfriend approved porn is still porn that fucks the whole wheel

>She doesn't masturbate.
No one can be this dumb.
She either told you this and you took her word for it or you made a dumbass assumption.
Either way chief, you're wrong.

Buy GF more sexy underwear and have her give you more sexy pics? Or get a Lush or some other long distance vibrator you can control while you fap to the thought of making her cum in public or something.

On a side note, I think your GF's views are weirdly controlling. Not that porn is healthy, but thinking that porn violates the relationship is weird.

>How? Just stop. You can't? Stop being a compulsive freak. Bang your girlfriend if you must. Can't bang your girlfriend because you're bored?
I bang her whenever she's up for it, when I can't bang her it's because she's not around or is too tired.

>Do you genuinely think porn is going to help? Girlfriend approved porn is still porn that fucks the whole wheel
I'm confused by this. Are you saying I should just learn to go without ejaculation for sometimes long periods at a time?

This is pretty much what I expected asking advice from Jow Forums. I'm in regional Australia, there are plenty of people out here who were born in the age of having one computer for the whole family who aren't massively sexual creatures. She generally views sexuality as digusting, but romance as wonderful, which is why she hates porn and masturbation buy enjoys sex with me.

Honestly I fucked the relationship at the start. We were only teenagers and neither of us had really been in a relationship before. I was coming off my parents' divorce and a shitty school life and whenever we fought I'd storm off into the next room and have a bat. It's probably a huge part of the reason why she has a negative association with it. I can't take it back now though.

As for the costumes thing, see

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>she doesn't understand higher libido
Is she challenged? Are you explaining the right problem? Are you evading the bullet of "you don't fully satisfy me sexually"? Are you tiptoeing the issue just to avoid broaching an unpleasant subject?

I'm trying to fucking help and stay with you here because I've solved issues with my partner of 8 years and all we needed to do was say, "X is happening." She just told me, "You need to work more at paying attention to me in bed." Boom, done, I asked her if she's noticed improvement. Got a yes. Big boy points, bitches.

Nothing is more enabling in a relationship than open communication. I just hope you haven't got something to hide.
>for reference, my girl and I both partake in, and advocate for porn consumption

No, fleshlights are great! It's a toy.

Porn and death grip are awful. When I say plastic vagina, I mean a plastic woman on a screen

Are you American? I think Americans have a different view of porn and of relationships to Australians. Based on what I've seen in sitcoms and the like, Americans find it normal to date multiple people at the same time until a certain point where they become "exclusive". That is pretty fucked up from my own cultural perspective.

>Are you evading the bullet of "you don't fully satisfy me sexually"?
I've said it almost precisely like that. She doesn't like to talk about it though. The fact is that she doesn't have the energy/time to fuck more than she does, and that she won't permit the use of porn. She has stated clearly that she is okay with masturbation and I should feel free to do it whenever I like as long as I don't use porn, but I've been using porn so long I can't fap to anything else.

>I just hope you haven't got something to hide.
I haven't been 100% open with her regarding my struggles with porn. She knows I've relapsed a few times but I have understated it sometimes. I can't keep doing it forever, which is why I need a more final solution to the porn question.

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>Nothing is more enabling in a relationship than open communication.
I think this is probably the best bet, because she might not understand the problems you're having. Hopefully she's the type that will listen and also communicate her problems as well instead of blowing up like she's being attacked.

Also, you might genuinely have to fap less if you're only able to get off to novel stimulation like porn. But if she's rarely interested in getting intimate then that's a problem too.

Before we moved in together I used to fap pretty much every day. She thinks sex twice a week (on average) is pretty good for a relationship as long as ours, and I definitely hear about people who are lucky to get it once a week. I don't know whether I'm fucked up for wanting to ejaculate more than twice a week or not, I'd be happy with every second day (3-4 times a week). I'll definitely talk with her about it again and try to be as clear as possible, but at this point I'm pretty sure that I'm on my own if I want to make up the difference in our libidos.

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So it sounds like the problem is neither of you really want to compromise. You both want the cake and to eat it too. That's how it sounds, at least-- she doesn't really want to answer or bridge the gap of your sexual wants/needs, and you aren't really comfortable bridging the gap of your dissatisfaction leading to breaking that trust. Who's to blame? What's at fault? Are you guilty for using porn, or is she guilty for not working toward compromise or her noncomittal, "it's your problem" attitude?

For better or for worse, relationships mean sticking through thick and thin. It means difficult obstacles and easy ones alike are approached arm in arm, side by side. It means the word love is used with a judicious weight-- that sacrifice, trust and respect are implicit in our relationship and that if it means we have to endure hardship for the other, or to give up something for the other, or to breach difficulty and come to an understanding-- then no effort is paltry or too much, no word is in vain. We love each other truly and deeply and that has only managed for eight years because we constantly strove to understand the other beyond everything else. Above all else, knowing-- being with them, the person, without labels or pretense-- that person is the joy, the reward, the journey and the destination.

And no, I'm not American. My definition of love and relationships definitely doesn't involve my girlfriend brushing me off because I'm sexually attracted to her. I'd appreciate if you'd leave the ad hom at home.

Sex twice a week isn't a particularly low amount. I'm not sure what the average is though. It's normal for people to masturbate a bit, but if you find you can't stop using porn even though you want to, you might need some outside help.

>So it sounds like the problem is neither of you really want to compromise.
>Are you guilty for using porn, or is she guilty for not working toward compromise or her noncomittal, "it's your problem" attitude?

I guess she believes that her compromise is offering to let me fap to anything other than real people. If anything, I feel that I need to accept that compromise because porn is bad for the soul in addition to my relationship, but I just can't seem to get aroused by anything other than 3D.

I've thought about seeing a shrink for it. I think I'd be too embarrassed to talk about it though. When I've tried quitting in the past, I've tried using computer programs which provide instructions or a beat (most of these still have pictures though so wouldn't be gf approved) and I just end up feeling stupid because why would I just beat it at my own pace to two people slamming each other?

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> naive

dude I'm married with kids. And I fucked a lot of women before marriage.

You got some maturing to do. Of course you need to flex some things to accommodate a woman, but you never bend who you are deep down to make a woman happy. That's not a woman you should be with.

Once you are with enough women you realize that you gotta lay down some expectations in the beginning, and if they are okay with them, then that works, and if they are not, then you have to end the relationship.

If you are with someone you like a lot, but there are fundamental differences, you still need to end the relationship. The longer you wait, the harder it will be.

>I'm the only one who has to swallow the tough pill
I'm tryin', man. I really am. You really won't accept that there's new ground to break with your girlfriend? The discussion needs revisiting.

If she 'doesn't like' talking about it it's all the more reason to confront it. Ugly truths don't go away because we don't like them and you're only hurting yourself by repressing yourself in the hopes that this will all "get better."

All's I'm suggesting is you retry the discussion with weight on the proper points and encouraging her to maintain open dialogue. If anything, I'd want you to validate the eight year relationship. But if this-- you taking all the blame, and her just idly handing out end-all 'solutions'-- is the face you want for your relationship, you're on a different kind of kool-aid.

I'm not accusing you of being weak or her of being petty. I'm saying you two aren't giving this its due diligence, as a couple.

I don't bend any of my other hobbies or friendships or anything. The only thing I've been asked to bend is not to fap to other people. I don't think it's nice either, and I think I probably have a problem in that I can't fap to anything else, and I think porn is mentally unhealthy, so I'm not upset that she's asking. I'm just struggling to figure out an alternative lifestyle which doesn't involve it because I've been doing it so long.

Would you be able to delve a little deeper into what you mean by that? I've had it a few times now, and I don't see the conversation varying that much.

>me: I need more sex than you're giving me and you won't allow me to use porn to fap so I'm struggling a bit with my libido
>her: I think the amount we have sex is great and I'm too busy/tired to add anymore even if I wanted to, porn is no different from cheating though so please fap to something else

How would you vary this or respond to this? I'm struggling to take what you're saying from a nice concept to practical reality. I appreciate your thoughts though.

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Ask her to put on a show for you at least in place of porn.

A new hobby for her

>I want to explore alternatives
vs
>You're doing it this way because I said so

I'd honestly follow with, "what if that's not enough?" I'd also consider asking what she might think of the positions being reversed, or what she feels about the idea that you feel silenced or stifled on this matter. There's also the matter to consider asking why she's not interested in discussing and exploring the matter and why she can drop it so coldly despite it obviously being a hanging point.

Discussion isn't gonna be easy. But it will be worth it. Even unpleasant truths are better out in the open than bottled.

The issue isn't the quality of the sex it's the frequency of it.

> why she's not interested in discussing and exploring the matter and why she can drop it so coldly
>I want to explore alternatives vs you're doing it this way because I said so
Well to the lady, getting my rocks off to someone else is no different to cheating. If I was actually fucking other women, I wouldn't expect her to say "let's explore alternatives to adultery". In her mind it's the same concept.

>I'd honestly follow with, "what if that's not enough?"
What would be the use of this? She'd say that we'd have to break up because she's not going to stay with a cheater, and I'd be back where I started this thread, looking for an alternative to porn.

>I'd also consider asking what she might think of the positions being reversed
She has never looked at porn in her life. Part of her revulsion to porn comes from the fact that I tried to show it to her and she was sickened by it. I don't think the situations could ever be reversed.

>what she feels about the idea that you feel silenced or stifled on this matter
But I CAN talk to her about it, there's just no point because she's not going to suddenly say that fapping to other people isn't cheating to her.

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just fap in private and do the fortnite dance if she brings it up. normies like that, right?

I didn't say sex I said a show like a belly dance

How does that help whatsoever? When I'm working from home and want to rub one out coz it's been a couple of days, that doesn't help. When she's already intending to fuck me, the belly dance doesn't help either.

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IDK man. I've done it and thought it was cool

Maybe it's time to clean up your degeneracy then user. You can't live forever like a 20 year old single in college.

That's what I'm trying to do by quitting porn, but I don't think I can quit fapping. I get built up and full of testosterone after a couple of days if I don't ejaculate, and my horniness gets really hard to ignore when I'm at home alone.

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Welcome to the eternal struggle of the Male. You have 3 options:

1. Tell your girl that you need more, and if she's not going to handle it then you'll need to.
2. Learn to fap without porn (it's a habit you monkey, you don't -need- porn, get some discipline)
3. If you absolutely must deal with porn, the least you can do is ween yourself off degenerate shit, and dial it back to vanilla, or even just nudity without intercourse

There is no magic bullet. The memes about sex after marriage have some truth to them.

>1. just break up
>2. just use your imagination xD
>3. just don't resolve the issue at all

Wew, I hope you're not OP cause that's some real cope right there.

1. Never said break up. It implies that if she isn't going to accommodate then she has no right to bitch.
2. Don't defend your addiction you degenerate. You conditioned yourself into it, you can condition yourself off. How do you think Men survived for the millenia without the internet and porn.
3. Only reason you think you need porn is because of your addiction. Ween yourself off it and it'll be easier to use imagination, and then eventually stop

Fucking brainlets need everything spelt out.

What do you fap to without porn? I used to imagine my classmates when I was young enough that I wasn't using porn. But that would be the same as using porn, I'd be fapping to 3D.

it's not re-enforcing cuckold behaviour you projecting faggot. The point is that you imagine yourself in the scene. That's why the male actors generally have their head cut off from the scene, they're just a prop for the woman to work on for the viewer's pleasure. No-one imagines themselves sitting in the corner while the action plays out.

>2D porn is gay
>unless I can find actually good 2D porn
How are you so sheltered. Start with aco, then h, then d and if you don't find anything you like come back and be more specific with what you're into and I'll drop actual artist names.

Honest to death, can't you just talk to her, tell her you're feeling frustrated and ask her to fuck more often?

I don't like that my husband faps to porn, it makes me feel insecure. So I fuck him or at least give him head once or twice a day. We both work full time and still make time.

Maybe he still faps but I'd assume less so.

>So I fuck him or at least give him head once or twice a day.
Larping as a girl or are you a gay dude?

I'm a woman. He's really good in bed and pretty hot, so it's not like I'm complaining about getting fucked every day.

But yeah, we fuck daily or so, unless one of us is sick or something. After 12 years together.

And? Who fucking cares? She wouldnt know.

Kill yourself

I've been on /h/ and /d/ but I can't really get going to still images, be they drawn or otherwise.

The gf is pretty exhausted after work. There's no problem on weekends, but after work she just wants to crash on the couch watching shitty TV she doesn't even like until bedtime. Maybe it'll get better once we get more used to full-time work.

Fuck her in the morning. Wake up 20 minutes earlier, fuck, shower, go to work.
You start the day with a big smile on your face after being fucked.

Gotta get on that she love you too much to let you go on without her. They use it. ahah!

I am not a morning person but in the interests of compromise I might give this a trial run. Thanks - where were you 7 hours ago when I made this thread?

Unironically getting fucked to sleep by my husband, and then sleeping on top of him for 7 nice hours.
Also being a morning person is top tier.

>still images
gifs and webms my friend.

This is how things went bad last time - I justified that webms were just moving images rather than videos. It's no different to mp4 porn just because it's a webm though.

You got what you needed from femanon up there, so adios.

Didn't read all the posts but you know that there is therapy for porn addiction right?

>Based on what I’ve seen in sitcoms and the like
user, those are fictional stories that in exaggerate situations for laughs. How can you honestly believe that shit like that is how people actually behave here in the US? It's like if I judged all of Great Britain and its culture by what I see on Doctor Who. Of course dating multiple people at the same time is not considered normal here, if fact you would be vilified just like in any other part of the world.

This shit reminds me of Don Jon.
Yes, you watch too much porn, but ladies gripe with it comes from an unhealthy place.
But whatever, OP do you.
Talk to a spiritual leader and pray.
Take medication to induce nausea whenever you plan on masterbating to associate discomfort with masterbation.
Dont see a shrink. If you're addicted to porn, they'll tell you to stop cold Turkey but lack certification to actually give you anything. If you could talk your way out of it, you would have done it already.
Tell your girlfriend she can help too. Create a system of good boy points where she monitors your internet track history. Every day of no porn is one good boy point. 100 points gets you 15 minutes of video games. 1000 gets soft kissing. 10k is a fuck. Every week you go without porn she can double the rate of previous week (see user, I'm not cruel).
However, fuck ups reset to zero.
This way, you end up being super hornet for her.
This would only suck if she actually liked sex but thankfully shes not American.
She knows that women endure sex for the man.

>There are countless kids out there with no families. Go make their lives suck less before you yawn into your wife and pump out narccism out of perceived societal expectations.
>raise another man's child

That's actual cuckold advice. Why would you think that's s good idea

Sounds like your girl friend is extremely controling.
Tell it isnt the 1950s anymore and sexual freedom rules.

Sexual liberation means women can have sex whenever they want, but men can't masturbate. Feminism was a mistake.

Or not telling her and using incognito lol

Because your genes are shit and the world is overpopulated.
Don't have children or adopt.
Society doesn't need more you.

there are huge variations in what people consider monogamy, this proves it.
sounds like everyone assumes their definition of monogamy is the one that must be followed even if no one is talking to their partner about what monogamy means.
>can you fap?
>can you fantasize?
>can you watch porn?
>can you watch romantic movies?
>can you read romance novels?
>can you cam?
>can you flirt?
>can you touch anyone in any way?
>can you sext?
>can you phone sex?
>can you have three-way together?

Talking with her about it?
Whatever the context and situation, groups usually work better when people involved learn from each other.

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Hold her down and fuck her right in the pussy you cuck

It's controlling behavior on her part and a huge red flag. I don't like the idea of my boyfriend watching porn, but I know that it's natural so I just don't think about it. I just ask that he does it while I'm not home and for him to clear browser history so I can't see what he's looking at and get jealous. I never watched porn before I was with him but knowing that he did got me curious, and I've grown to enjoy porn. As long as you aren't doing it excessively and it doesn't interfere with yalls sex life (like you expecting her to look like those women or do those things to a point that makes her uncomfortable), there really isn't a problem. I'm not sure what the advice is. Either break up, or have a serious talk on how you can still do it in a way that makes her feel more comfortable, or do it very sneakily. It should be something she compromises on as long as you aren't being fucking awful and gross about it.