ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

Yeah, guess that's inevitable. I'm scared of asking, because in the beginning she was full of doubt, haven't seen those in the past weeks but who knows.
Her actions all tell me one thing, she wants me, but i'm not sure if she realizes that.

A talk is due yeah...

There's a lot of people who don't naturally value love as much as many others and are more focused on their career, on spirituality, on friendship/family, you name it. There's also plenty of people that lack either or both a sex drive and the desire to have a romantic connection. If anything, making a conscious decision to not pursue a relationship is the weird part here, not that you don't feel a big urge or feel like it doesn't fit into your life.

Having said that the only comment I want to make is to this;
>I lose patience with people and their shit more and more as time goes on
Do keep in mind that every single person has character flaws, annoying quirks, emotional needs not always welcome to you and so on. If you see people regularly you get sort of "calloused" and are able to shrug off more noise in favor of valuing the bond you have. The less you see people the more hypersensitive you grow to what they want/need from you and the ways in which they are different from you and irk you. Basically, if you do want to keep those friendships and not end up an actual hermit, make sure you do keep putting yourself out there every now and then and power through when you feel annoyed.

Weird as in unnatural? Yes, but I'm sure you already knew the answer anyway.

The sad truth is that if she doesn't really you're what she wants, it doesn't really matter for you(r relationship) whether or not it's there deep down. And the risk of being too casual about this is letting insecurities, distrust and/or resentment grow. It is also a matter of self respect to ask her where she stands if you already know you don't want to stay around if she doesn't want to commit to just you. Best of luck man.

Thanks user

>Is it weird to completely give up on the opposite gender?
It's a little weird but not that weird. I think the real problem is the rest of your post. You sound very cynical and kinda dismissive, not that I don't understand why you would be. I don't think "love isn't real" is a very good reason to give up on dating.
Like I grew up in a comfy household with parents who love each other, so I'm pretty sure love is more or less real. I've just given up on dating because I have an unattractive personality, and I think statements about whether it's worth it for you is a lot more reasonable than really broad statements about whether relationships are ever worth it.

How should I deal with differences and conflict with my girlfriend over academic ability? It wouldn't be a big deal to me that I'm smarter than she is because she has other skills that I don't have, but she hates it. She's desperate to be my "intellectual equal" but she's neglected her studies until now (college), whereas I've always liked reading and learning.

She and I are both studying for the LSAT and she gets really frustrated that my scores are better than hers, but she also won't listen to any advice I have, and lashes out when I'm helping her review the questions she missed.

It just gets kinda annoying because she doesn't want to spend her free time engaging in any sort of cognitively stimulating activities, but then acts like she deserves to be much more academically successful than she is, and that I just have it easy

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guys, how do I become friends again with a guy I friendzoned?

Obviously if she feels insecure about her abilities compared to you, she doesn't want you to tutor her like a teacher straightening out a lazy student.

I'd also bet that it's not that she thinks she "deserves" better results, I think she's afraid that her grades don't reflect her work ethic or investment but rather her actual intelligence. It's quite easy to underestimate how hard other people worked for something if your own attitude is lacking. And, paradoxically, fear of failure can become an obstacle to learning because you can't study when you cramp up and feel like an idiot if you don't get something "fast enough".

I'd just treat this like a personal issue. Stop minding her business and don't let her involve you. Tell her you understand her frustration but she needs to find her way and figure out what works for her studywise. Encourage her to approach friends or classmates to study with, people she doesn't already compare herself to.

if he has any self respect, you dont
if he does not, then just send him a brief text and that should get you going

Dude let's be real here, you do have it easier than her. If you have a higher IQ, all that shit is easier. I'm sure it's partially because you're frustrated, but your post makes it sound like you don't think you have an """unfair""" advantage. You should try to be more aware of the fact that it's not as easy for her as it is for you.

That's just cruel. Leave the poor guy alone.

Thank you for the advice.
>And, paradoxically, fear of failure can become an obstacle to learning because you can't study when you cramp up and feel like an idiot if you don't get something "fast enough".
I think this definitely is something I should keep in mind. She made an off-hand comment at one point that she wasn't going to study anymore for her second try at the LSAT because she was scared she wouldn't do any better than last time. I guess I didn't realize how much that fear of failure can hold her back. I guess I should just let her find her own way, and try not to get wrapped up in it.
I don't know how much I buy into the whole inherent/genetic intelligence thing; a lot of smart people have unintelligent parents and a lot of intelligent couples have dipshit children. But even if it's true that I have some sort of advantage, it sucks because she starts conversations about history or politics and I have to pretend to not know anything about what she's talking about or she lashes out at me and refuses to speak.

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>she starts conversations about history or politics and I have to pretend to not know anything about what she's talking about or she lashes out at me and refuses to speak.
You just need to not be an asshole about it.

>I don't know how much I buy into the whole inherent/genetic intelligence thing; a lot of smart people have unintelligent parents and a lot of intelligent couples have dipshit children.
Not even that poster but look up some studies on IQ. There's definitely a huge correlation between that of parents and children. It's not at all impossible that it's part hereditary, but even apart from that, smart parents raise kids with respect for academia, they are on top of schoolwork, if necessary they invest in tutoring. Hell, even reading to your kids at a young age instead of dumping them in front of the tv for hours makes a huge difference.

Not saying this necessarily applies to how your childhood compares to that of your girlfriend, but a good upbringing by sound, sensible people with opportunities gives you socio-economic capital that is almost impossible to overestimate.

>I want to be able to tell you about things you don't know anything about
Those are her words, not mine.
Hmm. I suppose I could see that being the case. So if that's true, how should that affect my interactions with my girlfriend? I still get so worn out by having her frequently chastise me for one of the few things I can be proud of myself for.

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She's not entitled to chastise you about being knowledgeable or smart.
Don't mock her, don't make a huge deal about being better than her, don't be paternalistic and be proud of her accomplishments. But also have a real discussion about her behaviour: a good partner is proud of your strengths, they don't ask you to not show who you are because it makes them insecure. It's on her to fix her insecurities, not on you.

Femanons,what should we do when trying to talk to girls at a bar? What comes after "Hi"?

Introduce yourself, maybe ask if you can buy her a drink, ask her how she’s doing tonight, make a comment on her appearance. Conversation isn’t hard to start or keep up, it’s your fear and anxiety that’s holding you back

This user here, i was totaly overthinking it

She just sent me a holiday offer for 2 weeks in thailand

I met a girl the other day, and we kinda hit it off a bit I guess? Something about her gives me like a really good gut feeling.

Is this something I can trust?

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>conversation isn't hard to start or keep up
What you've said is more helpful than any other advice I've recieved, so I'm inclined to agree with you, but I sometimes feel there's something more fundamental I'm lacking
That aside, how do I know if the girl is interested as well?

I have a very specific type which has led to difficulties in my dating life. I'm almost exclusively into short men (I'm very short myself), with heart shaped faces, full lips/"soft features", and short beards. It sounds easier to find than it actually is. I really don't like the look of wide jaws, strong brow ridges, big hands, or whatever else. I find the vast majority of men either "inelegant/coarse-looking" (including very normal, average men), overly feminine, or "pathetic".

There are men who don't fit the bill and who I think are good-looking but I don't want to cuddle with them, etc like I do men of my "type", which has impeded my dating life. The men I'm really into have been unavailable for one reason or another, and although I've given other men a shot, I've never wanted to be physically close to them. This has led to awkward (and likely disappointing) rejections after dating because no matter how well we get along over the course of a few weeks, even things like the thought of hugging them in a romantic way activates my flight response.

Is this something I can change or should I accept it and work within it?

>into manlets
KEK

Girls, how often do you check your phones to reply to someone?

I've been seeing a girl and she's always chatty and talkative in person and never checks her phone. However when I message her it'll take 2/3 days for her to see the message and reply to me.

I'm moving in with my boyfriend this weekend so is there anything I should know about living with a guy that I might not have thought about?

I never check my phone, normally do it in the morning when I wake up to text my mom good morning (yeah I know), at lunch, at dinner and at night before falling asleep.
So about 6 hours tops.

While I'm at uni, once every hour or so. Don't really use my phone while at home, so it depends.

Don't whine about leaving the seat up, please don't leave your makeup all over the counter.

Not a guy but for what it's worth, in my experience it's absolutely possible to learn to develop your taste. I still like the same type of guys I did at fifteen, but I also like some I wouldn't have considered at that age. It's not for nothing that people have different preferences, there is something to say for a number of different traits/looks/archetypes. In my experience it is often a person who just touches you in a way that sort of "enables" you to see the charm of similar types.

For the record, this is not trying to say that some day you'll drool over androgynous slender boys or men with jaws that could crush steel. But I do think that trying to see your own attraction/sexuality as a thing that will change over time could be the first step to opening up to new feelings. Also you don't have to like another "type" just as much right from the get go to ultimately conclude you don't like them any less.

I don't think this is necessarily average but I hate texting and purposely stall responding to not set a precedent I don't want to keep up with. If I really really like someone I'll power through it but still, I don't want anyone expecting I'm going to reply in ten minutes.

Females, how big would my dick have to be for me to be able to use it as an excuse to not bother with sex?

You mean not bothering as in not putting in effort? It's going to depend on the girl, some actually like stuff like a lack of foreplay, penetration-focused etc. For me no details could make up. When I think of a great lover I picture the way someone talks to me or touches me. Physical details are secondary.

As in it being considered a valid reason not to have sex at all.

You don't need a reason if that's what you want, then just do (or don't do) what makes you happy.
Sounds to me like you are just looking for an excuse not to try though.

>Sounds to me like you are just looking for an excuse not to try though.
That's exactly what I'm looking for.

I don't see what that has to do with size. Even if in theory the guy was so big he couldn't fit inside, or had hang ups about being small that prevented him from wanting penetration, I'd still want sex in other ways. Depending on more aspects I might be happy in a relationship where I don't get PiV. No sex though, that's out of the question.

If this is what you're looking for you need to find a woman who's also wanting to be with someone without sex.

You don't need an excuse then.
Just quit.

OK I'm being really unclear,
I'm looking for a reason to be a virgin that doesn't boil down to "I'm socially retarded and you shouldn't date me." Even though that's true, I'm looking for literally anything that doesn't send that message.

>I used to be religious and I'm not anymore
>I had issues with foreskin that was too tight and now it's loosened and I can have sex without pain
>I dated a girl who wanted to save it for marriage
>used to have crippling fear about impregnating someone and got therapy for it

There's a lot of routes to go. But in all honesty... if a person truly shows attention to you and has a feeling for the kind of person you are, the chance that they will guess you are just embarrassed of being a late bloomer is huge.

What's more, many reasons - including "I hated my dick so much that I never had sex with anyone" - in themselves imply psychological damage of some sort.

I know it's a lot easier said than done but please don't worry so much. Young people are all insecure and loving to act above others for whatever reason because it elevates their self esteem. When you mention "virgin guy" to a given girl (or even guy) at twenty, they're going to picture an awkward guy on the spectrum who gets his clothes washed by his mom and thinks women have an orgasm when you lick their tits. If they get to know you as a friendly, normal guy and find out you're a virgin, that's not nearly as weird or hilarious. If you've hung around regularly with guys your age or did while younger, try to picture all the snappy things they had to say about girls who were x and girls who did y, and whether they'd still be so macho in front of an actual girl like that.

Ladies, what goes through your head when you're in love? Physical manifestations? Butterflies? Absentmindedness throughout the day?

I think I have the first case of reciprocated love in my life so far, and it just blows my mind, I think my body is on oxytocin overdrive or something. Listening to average music suddenly becomes amazing, I'm overemotional at times (almost to the point of tears where I just want to hug her or a puppy), and when I don't consume myself with work I'm like an idiot on butterflies, smiling like a goofball and people around me notice. What goes on in her head though? What goes on in your head when you appear to be in love, first couple of weeks at least?

I'm planning on giving a guy a small origami gift for Valentine's day, but we've only talked once and for a short time. I'm basically a stranger, so would it be weird if I get him anything?

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In the beginning it's like a drug. I have issues focusing on anything else, by comparison seeing other people or doing my hobbies is just a way to pass time. It's like the whole day arranges itself to accommodate the big main event of seeing that person.

Of course butterflies, that feeling like you missed a step on the staircase when you see them unexpectedly, a lack of interest in eating/sleeping/general physical upkeep.

I relate everything I hear/see/do to this person. A love song? Wow, it's like I hear about myself. An older couple minding their own business on public transport? Could be us in a few decades. An article on plastic straws? Wonder what he'd have to say about this.

And yeah it leaves me feeling more emotionally raw, especially positive emotions but also at times negative ones (like impatience or irritation for other lesser people's bullshit) are closer to the surface. I tend to get superambitious about my life in theory (while prioritizing the relationship in practice), wanting to have the emotional connection with my lover with my friends and family as well, getting overall a little more idealistic about anything at all.

And just thinking of them all day long. Feeling weirdly inappropriate around other people because you constantly have lustful memories/thoughts flooding your head. Or just warming yourself to the memory of a cute moment like you're cupping a glass of hot tea. It's like being with two people wherever you go. You always wonder what they'd see if they saw what you are seeing, what they'd say in your stead, what you're going to tell them about this event once you see them. Feeling like a half in the best way.

I've been with my boyfriend for a while (couple years), but:
I'm genuinely excited about his existence. Everything he says, does, is feels fucking amazing to me. I feel overly excited about talking to him, about the prospective of hanging out with him, about the fact that I know he loves me. Time goes so fucking fast when we're together that it's not even funny.
He's ideal to me physically. I cannot find any other guy as hot as him. I always found him really cute, but over time he became basically my golden standard for what's attractive in a man. Literally the hottest guy I've ever seen.
I can't wait for the future to happen. To grow old with him, to learn more about him, to have his children. It genuinely blows my mind that, if everything goes right, that's what is going to happen.
Everything feels amplified around him. He smiles at me and I feel fucking high. He touches me and my body feels electric.
Sometimes I feel like nothing else in the world exists but us. I don't know, we dance in the kitchen and the music sounds distance, the rest of the room disappears and it's just us.
I care about him so much that it scares me. I wake up at night to check if he's breathing, I get worried if I don't hear from him for a day or two.
I think of him all the time. Still.

I'm sorry if this is cheesy as fuck.

fellas, why does my step father speak to me this way? Basically i lost my job because the store that i worked at went out of business. I've been looking for work like crazy and have even done interviews, but my step father doesn't seem to care about my efforts. One day he calls me' and when i pick up he says "you sleepin?", or while we are having dinner he will ask me if i want more food and i'll say "no thank you i'm full", and he goes "yea full of shit". just stuff like that . when i told him that i had a interview lined up for a good job this week, and said that it might take some time while they call me, he goes " how long two months?" and laughs. Why is he likes this? I mean i just laugh it off but i'm still curious as to why he says these things.

I've realized that the entire female gender rejects me and I don't know what to do with this information.

Your realisation makes no sense, so I'd say please get over it.

Because he's an asshole.

OK then.
>thinks women have an orgasm when you lick their tits.
Wait, they don't?

i need some advice about a girl i went out with recently:

>she hit me up out of the blue after not seeing her or speaking for months
>we've worked together in the past - not exactly coworkers, more like collaborators on some creative projects
>i'm definitely into her and i got that vibe from her before but never got to know for sure, and she did have a bf for a while
>right as i text her back she replies saying she wants to hang and catch up
>we make plans to talk on friday afternoon and end up going for drinks at happy hour
>she seems really excited to see me
>we talk for like 2 hours
>a lot of positive signs, but also some ambiguous ones
>she asks about a girl i was hanging with recently and i firmly indicate there's nothing there
>at this she doesn't mention bf but also doesn't indicate similarly that she is single
>very good banter but also not super touchy, although she did lean in a lot and was laughing at all my jokes, etc
>we also discuss some projects i'm working on right now and she seems intrigued and seems to want to work together again
>i pay for the drinks, she doesn't really flinch at this whatsoever
>she invites me to something she was going to afterwards but i also have my own plans already
>have a friendly goodbye, nothing super intimate, and she says she wants to hang again soon
>i text her the next day about how i really enjoyed seeing her and affirm that i also want to do something again soon
>she replies back saying she was super happy to see me and wants to hang again soon with a smiley

drinks on a friday seems like a date in my book but it was casual and very much also just two people catching up. it also kind of makes another causal "catch up" type activity (i.e. coffee) kind of unnecessary now. i like her as someone i've worked well with before but i also like being around her generally and think there could be something there. so i don't know where to go from here.

In theory this is possible but VERY rare. You'd need prolonged, intense licking and sucking on a girl exceptionally sensitive in that area. Individual sensitivity differs but it's not uncommon for girls to not have much sensation in their nipples to begin with. Personally I'm middle area, I enjoy it a lot but there's no way it's going to give me an orgasm without other touching/fingering. In porn responses are often played up because licking tits is visually very appealing to men and the idea that it drives women over the edge is hot. Again it's not impossible but you could definitely fuck fifty women without running into one who can achieve that.

I can't get a girlfriend.
I have friends, I'm quite successfull in life, and yet when it comes to women I only evoke apathy at best. I have some female friends but they would never even think of dating me.
I don't know what I'm doing wrong, I'm average looking but I've seen way uglier men than me dating girls so I know it's not my looks. I lack confidence but not to a degree that impedes my social skills. I really don't know what I'm not getting right and it's destroying my self confidence. I have the feeling that I'm unwanted, unlovable, and I grow bitter and bitter every passing day to a point where I'm now starting to feel uneasy at the sight of girls my type.
I don't want to grow old as a lonely and bitter fuck. What can I do ?

>Dear Princess Femanon,
Would any girl here like to receive a message who started like that?

Girls

What would you think of a 31 year old man who only has ever had 1 relationship before and 0 hook ups?

Seems like a good catch, depending on why the relationship ended and how he handled it.

Why good catch

You got unlucky, user. But now the symptoms
>it's destroying my self confidence
>I grow bitter every passing day
are starting to show, and these are the real things preventing you from finding a relationship. When was the last time you asked a girl out, and have you ever used dating apps (not just tinder)? And do you hang around girls often? Meaning girls who aren't those female friends you say would never think of dating you.

I know how you feel, and I know this sounds like the regurgitated "advice" people use as an excuse to talk down to lonely guys, but really try to understand that girls have no obligation to date you. I know that you know that intellectually, but I mean that you need to really chew on it, and integrate it into your thoughts. Girls don't hate you, they aren't being unfair, they haven't slighted you. You just gotta really work at not being bitter. It takes a lot of energy, and I know it sucks, but it's just how it is.

I want a stable relationship, so a man who has a lot of them is unappealing - shows he gets in and out of them easily.
I'm not a huge fan of casual sex, so I'm glad if the man I'm with hasn't done it either.

user, if you're here, I just wanted to tell you that you were spot on.
She told me she was on her period today.

Ok well you sound reasonable. One thing that worries me very much is being the victim of a Stacy. I personally know a girl who’s doing that exactly. The whole “settle with a nice guy”.

I’ve known this girl for years. In uni she hooked up with new guys every weekend. I’m so sure she has easily been with more than 30 guys. But now that she’s in her late twenties. She cleaned up. She doesn’t hook up anymore and doesn’t drink much. She dresses modest. She literally told me “I’ve had my fun, now I want to date a nice man. Nice men like nice women”. I don’t want to be that guy who gets fucked over like that

>I'm sorry if this is cheesy as fuck.
I don't care if it's true.

This is such an immature mentality, to be honest.

This.
People don't owe you anything. If you want a gf, go and literally get one. Pick the hottest bitch you see in the street and kidnap her or rape her if you want.

No.

I have tried Tinder and pickable as dating apps, I also tried Okcupid, got nothing.
I'm not around many girls I don't know, most of the time I just hang out with my friends. I don't really have many occasion to meet new people. The last girl I asked out was a bit less than 2 months ago. She is somewhat a friend now, eventho I don't talk much to her anymore.

I'm not angry at women, I'm angry at myself. I don't think they hate me or are being unfair, I don't know what made you think that.

B-but I wuv you. ;_;

I’d shoot them and myself if I got a message starting with that. Disgusting.

Not even my boyfriend calls me princess, and he's the cheesiest dumbass ever.

>got nothing
Why do you think you got nothing?

As I said, I'm average looking, so I got few matchs.
Why I wasn't able to make those matchs into dates, I don't know. I don't think I'm boring, I wouldn't have people wanting to hang out with me otherwise. Maybe I'm not direct enough or maybe my insecurity is showing, maybe both. I don't know for sure and I resent myself for that.

This girl I hang out with after work, why was she so secretive about her fiance? She would always say "someone" or her "brother". I don't get it.

How?

How are you a victim or getting fucked over in this situation?

Walk me through the mental gymnastics where you turn someone else's past life into being about you.

you're friendzoned af breh
go back to yr girlfriend

because I don’t want to have a relationship with a woman who was a whore. I was never a whore. I don’t believe in it.

Women want to be desired. You wouldn't have shown as much interest if she said right away that she was taken

I guess? But not really, I always thought of us as just friends, but I suppose I would've invited her out less.

Why does the thought of being intimate with someone make me feel used and dirty?

Further, don't girls love using the "I have a bf" to make dudes fuck off?

Do all people have weird fetishes or fantasies? Or are there people who actually have a "pure" mind? Also how common is it to have a fantasy that involves raping or being raped?
I mean for both men and women.

Kek

._.

Boys, looking to hear from the guys who are the "ugly" one in their friend group. What's the experience like? Stories/anecdotes most welcome. I'm just wondering what the experience is like for dudes in this position, I already know what it's like for a girl in this position ;_;

Femanons can answer too I guess if you want guys to know what it's like to be you.

That was really cute, I hope the other anons in this thread find someone to be as happy as you and your bf are.

>Do all people have weird fetishes or fantasies?
Pretty much all, I'd guess. Humans are weird.
I sometimes fap to girls having sex with horses, but I'd never tell it to anyone.

>Also how common is it to have a fantasy that involves raping or being raped?
Pretty common. I think I'd be the lamest rapist ever, but I'd still like to try it.

I'm a pretty damn ugly dude. I have Neanderthal features and imperfect symmetry. It has no effect on my life whatsoever, as far as I can tell.

I mean I guess it's what you'd expect.

I'm a solid 3/10 on a good day with good angles and my friends are all 5+

In my immediate friend group we have one guy who is like a 9 judging by the way girls deal with him, but he's in a relationship and doesn't really throw it around anymore. The only other ugly dude in our group is only ugly because he's fat and if he could be bothered losing the weight he'd be average at worst.

The rest are like 6-8/10s. By the way these things are reckoned our group is "lead" by a 7/10 and an 8/10. They're besties and if you want to think in those terms then they're the alpha males. 8 tends to be in charge in general beacuse he's the most outgoing but between them 8 defers to 7. Going out with them and being around girls is hard for me because they've got this killer chemistry. If we're at a bar or something and we manage to attract a group of girls, those girls will always be there to talk to those two guys and the rest of us might as well not exist. Which is true for me most of the time anyway.

The worst part for me is that Mr 7 doesn't even try because of his own personal shit. He could be rolling in it if he crooked his finger but he never does more than smile and flirt and then get bored.

As far as anecdotes go, I don't know. Recently when we went out for NYE as a big group 7 and 8 brought a girl they're friends with who brought a couple of her friends and the whole night these 4 girls paid no attention to anyone else, and 7 and 8 barely paid them any mind in return. I think in total I said about 25 words to all 4 girls when we were making introductions and then got clearly dismissed.

t. 5'7 asian guy in a majority white country

>tfw don't even have a friend group ;_;
I only know about how ugly I am, because I don't get any replies on dating sites.

>It has no effect on my life whatsoever, as far as I can tell
Do you have a gf? How?

>I don't think they hate me or are being unfair, I don't know what made you think that.
Sorry, I thought that's what you meant by bitter. What did you actually mean by that?