Tinder Adv

Oof missed the L’s, my bad, deadass this is an advice thread not a mf roast thread calmer down

Look mate, pictures and bio don't matter, the only thing that matters is your conversation game trust me with this one, every girl you match with you go -
>Something something... Suck the stress outta your tiddies
Guaranteed success

Lmao thanks for genuine advice, I’ll keep it in mind

fucking hell this is abysmal

>advice thread
Can you read?

You have to get matches first. I haven't had a single one in 6 months so the suck your titties advice is moot at this point.

I’ve got matches, I’m looking more to make the account better over all. Im open to consider any genuine advice.

All these pics suck

Ok, first thing you need to do is not ironically claim to be alcoholic and then go ahead and say "no, I'm serious" with a pic of you doing a keg stand.
Lose both.
Ditch second pic, it's not good.

>pictures don't matter
>conversation skills matter
How much does this have to be disproven?
You can do it yourself.
Google "Handsome man", "hot guy" or something like that, pic some realistic candid shot of a guy. Bonus for a set of pics.
Make a fake tinder, write some bullshit into your bio, I did "not looking for anything serious" (already screening heavily, who knows what would have happened if I did a good one).
Watch hundreds of matches roll in.
In my case, the guy got 3 times the matches I got within 2 weeks, but within just a few hours.

The really hot chicks didn't match with the fake either, take from that what you will.
Other than that, whoever replied to my initial message, a super creative "Hey :)", which was a lot of chicks. Probably about half the matches IMMEDIATELY replied.

Lot's of "Heyyy :)))"s and "Hi how are you (:" and shit like that.
After chatting a bit with them, I realized that I could fuck with them all I want and they would still desperately try to salvage it.
One girl, I kept calling a superficial whore (low key) and she would just keep "laughing it off", I'm so cute and funny teehee.
Some conversations I started with "Anal?" or "Deepthroat?" and many of those went somewhere, believe you me holy shit.

The ones that didn't immediately agree to meet at my place for "movie night", or the ones that either didn't respond positively to my crude advances or my bio, I would just have to write "Coffee?", and they would IMMEDIATELY be like "Oh you!" and agree to meeting ANYWAY.

Bottom line is, they were a LOT more forgiving to anything I said, they were flirty, positive and tried hard to keep my attention. I basically didn't have to do anything.
There was no waiting around for replies and no awkward "pulling teeth" convos, the women were receptive and engaging.
It was eye opening.

If you still think it's "all about the conversation skills", then I invite you to try in your area.
Swallow that red pill my dudes.

Pic with a dog dumbass

I unironically did the same and one girl immediately responded "please ruin my life" and sent me nudes.

Are there any good alternatives to tinder ?

Attached: 88f.jpg (604x516, 31K)

I’ve considered this, I’ve just gotta work on being hotter, time to hit the gym harder!

I appreiciate it

I’ve hear bumble(?) but the woman has to initiate a conversation so I’d imagine it’s drastically harder

>trust me with this one
looks matter more than fucking word smiths. it's why girls go on this app because looks are louder than words. no bitch runs to tinder to find a guy with a 'great personality'

kill yourself tonight faggot

I posted in the last thread but didn't get any good help. Can anyone tell me what I need to revise and edit?

Attached: Screenshot_20190131-120150_Gallery.jpg (1080x2025, 1.03M)

My opinion is to simplify the bio, don’t include your college in your bio but leave it in the “school” section. Tbh take netflix out of the bio too

Apreaciate it.

>sent me a "hiiiii" at 3am
Think she would be a fun fuck or just barshit crazy?

Attached: IMG_3021.jpg (750x1334, 126K)

She’s ugly and a pothead

reroll your birth stats

You should just assume that everyone on tinder is toxic and slightly cray, including yourself

If you want to fuck her then do it

t. Michael from Northeast Lakeview college

im not cray i just dont have a social life that involves meeting women

10/10 detective skills even tho I just poorly scribbled my name and school out on my note 8 screen write.

Attached: 14246359.jpg (625x469, 27K)

I don't even know what type of persona you are trying to project here. It looks like you are just mirroring behavior/bios that you see girls do in an attempt to make them find you compatible "I like binge watching netflix and making food". I get zero flavor whatsoever from this, it's like making a meal and not even adding salt or pepper, it's that bland.

Someone who speaks their mind with no filter? Oh so someone who has no sense of social tact, awareness, and is inconsiderate of making others annoyed - SIGN ME UP! As much as girls are looking for an excuse to hoe it up they still don't want to get with someone who doesn't understand basic social norms and will embarrass them in front of their roommates, etc. It's like sleeping with someone autistic, it's takes so much extra patience and you feel kind of ashamed of it afterwards.

$uicideBoy$, or any artist with dollarsigns replacing S's - you are effectively bringing black culture to the girls without any of the benefits like pissing off their dads because of your race.

You may be able to hook in some stoner/druggie/desperate girls if you lead with getting high together in your bio but you gotta spice it up to catch their interest, it's a snoozefest of 80% responsible boy when it sounds like you really want to be a bad boy at heart.

Close I was trying mirror a douchy look idk that's all I ever see pulling girls. Also the be myself thing doesn't really work. But this is good advice I will revise and edit accordingly. Also for the record the Cook part is actually my job I'm a line cook I was actually being honest there.

What if I'm just honest?

Attached: Screenshot_20190131-230541_Tinder.jpg (1080x2220, 413K)

witness my power

Attached: 9F112EEA-9397-48AE-9083-24096E194EDA.jpg (1080x2025, 1.08M)

It's over 9000!

Attached: 1520048960199.gif (280x189, 835K)

Be a female

1st picture: make it a picture of just you. Nothing else. Just a flattering pic.

2nd pic: you with friends. This will show you are sociable and go out, not some weirdo. Extra points for candid

3rd pic: should be you (others optional) partaking in a hobby you truly enjoy, but nothing weird. (Caution: thin line between making it look like a hobby and making it look like an obsession). If done correctly, this should open up the door for conversation.

Other pics don't matter. Their mind will be made up by this point.

Bio: keep it simple. No one cares about your life story, or how witty you are. Keep in mind, simple does not mean projecting how much you don't care about anything. That's annoying.

>dyke hair
You *that* desperate bro?

lol you're a dumbass drop the beer keg you faggot frat boy looking ass

The only thing that any man can really do is to try his best to look his best.
I know people love falling for the women don't care about looks meme, but it's bullshit; of course they care.
If you're unattractive then women won't bother to see if you're charismatic or engaging and they'll just swipe left.

Attached: Fact.jpg (3000x3000, 1.75M)

Or be white and go after asians

Attached: auto pilot.png (640x1136, 1.14M)

Rate my bio (translated to english so some phrases might sound weird):
I study X at Y and play bass, guitar and upright bass as a hobby.
I like to cook and I build/service guitars, so my apartment turns into a makeshift workshop sometimes.
Besides that I like to waste my time on Youtube, read manga/watch anime and play videogames.

If that's legit then pic related. Although unless you're in Asia then I'd still say look your best; otherwise she'll still pick a better looking man.

Attached: dam son.jpg (640x640, 103K)

if you were a woman would that make you interested? maybe if you actually share the same interests

How am I supposed to know how women choose potential mates? Cooking is always a nice skill to have, people who play an instrument usually know that you can't expect instant gratification from life, making and servicing instruments takes skill and shows aptitude in other fields as well, watching youtube videos and gaming are typical hobbies, manga and anime are more of a niche thing but sure why not, especially if you share the same interest.

Seems pretty good to me, now tell me why it's terribly wrong. I don't know how women think.

He's calling you out on the anime and manga. Every now and then you'll find a woman who'll tolerate it, maybe even like it; but generally it's a big red flag to women that you're going to be weird. Even if you're confident and socially adept, that will be the presumption.

So I should just lie and have her see the manga in my shelf if she comes over?

Nah. If anime and manga are that much a part of your life, then you might as well own it. Personally I don't like the stuff, but I'd rather see someone be themself than cover it up. Better to be hated for what you are than liked for what you're not.

What the hell are you on about? Nobody cares that much if you read manga.
I wouldn't put it in my bio though, but I wouldn't put "I like watching TV" in it either.
It's just not very interesting. It's nothing to be ashamed of either though, of course not wtf?

Asians are as bad at "deciphering" white features as whites are with Asian features.
She likely doesn't realize that this guy is actually ugly, cause "all whites kinda look the same".
I have seen plenty of dudes call obviously ugly chicks hot, just because their Asian. So the oughta be hot, right? Wong. Very wong.

i havent had sex in 2 months man

You shouldn't lie, just don't mention it.

I wrote this in my bio:
"Even tough I am a pacific guy, I like shooting at people with paint pellets and satisfy my hidden vices, even simulating. Nevertheless it's really pleasant for me to pet a cat for a long time. Inside this dicotomies there is a crazy and highly functional person. If you want to know more, write."

Is this cringeworthy?

could i get likes with only a few pictures of just myself? i dont have any of me in a natural situation or with friends in recent years.

Yes it is.
Several grammatical and spelling errors.
And the actual content doesn't even make sense.
You're trying to appeal to girls. What do you think you're accomplishing with this bio?

Holy shit. Get rid of that immediately.

Thanks, I went for something much more simpler

What are good pick up lines to use? That's where I get stuck

>more simpler
I assure you, you're no better off.

Go back through the archives and read the lessons of Tinder Chad. 65% of the time every time.

"I like people that makes me think. Nothing better than a good talk with wine, somethings that stimulates the soul. I am passionate about good cooking and I'm a book eater. I'm organized but frequently happens that I cancel everything and escape the city. If I am direct, don't worry, means that I like you."

Better?

Do you have autism?

A little bit. Any help?

damn dude, i uninstalled this shitty app, but if i had your face, just using first and last picture here in my country i would be swimming in pussy and aids.

Is English your third or fourth language

Not really, that bio just seems weird. Your jokes just don't land.

Second, in spanish makes more sense

I am not a good joker but I wasn't trying to make any joke on that bio.
Can you at least say whats wrong about it?
Should I just be honest like Michael Burry and say "I am a lawyer with an awkward social manner and $10.000 in student loans"

Hey boys can you critique my bio?

International business and marketing major. Addicted to caffeine. I love alt rock.

Ratings:
"Fantastic dancer" - some Chinese guy at the bar

"Real swell guy" - Best friend

"Made me believe not all Americans are stupid and fat" - German friend

"He has a cute nose" - friend of a friend

"Isn't afraid to wear pink shorts" - Roommate

"That's not what I meant when I asked 'do you have any questions'. Start paying attention in class" - professor

>I like people that makes me think. Nothing better than a good talk with wine, somethings that stimulates the soul.
This just sounds really hoity-toity. Everyone likes people that make them think, it sounds like you're assuming you're special for this. I would completely remove this part.
>I am passionate about good cooking and I'm a book eater.
This is just kinda awkwardly phrased.
>I'm organized but frequently happens that I cancel everything and escape the city.
This makes it sound like you're unreliable and don't follow through on you plans.
>If I am direct, don't worry, means that I like you.
This just isn't the type of thing you say in a bio. It sounds more like a poor attempt at a joke than anything else.

Ok, I took it down, I'll think of something else.

Stop trying so hard. Just use one simple line.

If you get matches with that I may just commit suicide.

Guys how's my bio?
>I have an 8 inch dick and no idea how to use it.

How do I find them I've never really used Jow Forums archives

How about this quote: " That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence. "

I've gotten 16 matches since I downloaded it last weekend, but I've been pretty picky on who I swipe right on. What's so bad about my bio?

Lose the flags and bike. Say you hate alcohol. Have a pic with you doing a kegstand with a shirt on instead, it's more classy.

>selfie in the mirror
>idiot face with shoulders down
>showing up stupidly upside down
>showing material possessions to attract female interest

yikes, only first two pics is good

It's just cringey and shallow Any of those matches workout ? If they did then you just must be good looking enough to make it work.

Ok, well can I have some advice then? I just started this whole online dating charade.

I thought it was funny user, too many though, but I liked it.

Ok I'll just delete a couple. Thanks user

Keep it short and simple but also leave a little mystery to it. Leave just enough for them to want to know more.

Attached: 1488445486623.png (670x503, 339K)

Date with a tinder girl tomorrow
She thinks I’m funny because of our conversation and said she wants something casual
How do I not fuck it up and how physically “pushy” should I be

>get match notification
>open tinder
>match is gone

Attached: bawww.jpg (500x259, 13K)

Most of them either don't say anything (so the match expires after 24h), or initiate with 'hi' or similar.

Make a dummy account as a female. Look at all the male profiles.
See what you can offer that the multitudes of the other guys don't

Put traveler first and alcoholic last.
Traveling is more interesting so you want that first.
Putting alcoholic last makes it look like it's a funny joke and you aren't gonna hit your date after your 8 beers in

Your bio is so fucking boring, your broad shoulders are literally the only thing that'll get girls to swipe right

set your gender to spiderman

>matches
>starts a conversation
>She takes hours to reply

man i hate this shit, worst app for anxious people.

Attached: 636022639867826643.jpg (923x922, 359K)