Have a crush on a girl

yeah, i’ve realized people and relationships are annoyingly complicated. this guy refuses to break up with his gf but doesn’t love her enough to stop seeing me or telling me he loves me at the same time.

Just reminds me how people overthink or don't act on their feelings because of some bullshit then they regret it later

Life is short user, rejection hurts but regret hurts longer, so next time you like someone just go for it and ask her out before you miss your chance again

I dont meet any new girls anymore. I have the same social circle and been at uni for some years so all the girls I see are the same. I had crushes on a lot of them but most got bfs and the others I just never made a move on for years, so its probably too late now

Start small. I’d ask her to go out for lunch or go to the store with you. Something insignificant. Once you two are used to being with each other, start asking if she wants to hang out on the weekends. Then, sooner or later, you’ll ask her to do things that are more, “romantic” I guess.

From my experience, if you have a crush on a girl before you ask her out, you're already doomed.

Maybe I'm using the term crush too loosely. Basically i just mean i like them. I dont get fixated or depressed about them getting a bf, it's just annoying and feels like things are rigged against me at this point

In what environments are you meeting these girls? I would say some are definitely easier than others.

I've dated plenty of girls in my life and i've had 1 long term girlfriend. Literally every single one of them i met them either through online dating or by going out to bars/clubs. I've never 'managed' to date anyone i met through class or my social circle.

Well the only people I ever meet either male or female I meet through class or my social circle

I dont meet random people from bars or clubs, and when i do hobbies eg sports i do them with friends.

How old are you? It's literally never late, especially since you say you're still at uni. Go to a new bar or join some new social activity and meet more people

I guessed that. Now i'm not saying it's impossible to get girls through your classes or social circle, plenty of people have done it. But it's definitely a different can of worms.

It's very likely you spend weeks or even months eyeing some specific girl in one of your classes. Pondering about how to ask her out or how to get her number. At the same time she goes out to a bar on saturday night and drunkenly gets picked up by some random dude she meets in there.

Because you wait too long.

Yes, yes you can. As soon as you start crushing and theres a mutual friendship you ask her on a fucking date. If she says no, you've nipped it in the bud and can move on.

Wow, defensive, aren't we?

All the girls I know with bfs met them via their social circle or in class.

Can you really just do that? just walk up to a girl and ask her out with no prompt? Won't she think it's weird?

I mean, strike up a few conversations, but yeah. Talk, go hang out, ask out.

But wont they think its weird? I've never flirted with anyone before so it would be really out of the blue to ask a girl out

>have a crush on girl
>go on a couple dates
>get intimate once
>fall in love with them before we're even a real couple

Why the fuck does this happen? It's happening again right now, I've been with a girl for a little over a week and I already wanna tell her I love her and ask her to be my girlfriend, but I know that'll just scare her off

I think it's quite normal if you like the girl. In your brain, the honeymoon phase begins as soon as you do anything romantic/sexual with a particular girl. It's driving you to cling onto her and seize this reproductive opportunity.

The trick however is to not let it affect you. No matter how desperate/needy you feel the moment you meet a cool chick, don't act the part because it's counterproductive.

All flirting comes down to is banter

Call her really smart for being able to put on her shoes this morning

Call her strong and have her promise not to beat you up.

Make her have fun taking to you. Then ask her to get food with you. You can use the word date of you're comfortable.

If it didn't work out, move on with your life. You'll feel great that you tried, trust me

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the problem is, you think you have time. and because of this error you have the idea in your head that you need to be "ready", thus delaying action into day x. this moment might never come, though. understand this: you will never be ready for anything in life. you have to conciously accept that circumstances will never be optimal. the moment you manage to overcome this tendency will change your life.

Honestly the best advise I think you could get is that if you like a girl, just ask her out. Don't dwell on the feeling too long. Take her to a movie, out for coffee, mini-golf, bowling, a walk in the woods, a trip to a museum, whatever. It doesn't matter. What matters is your interest in her, the rest will fall into place on its own. And if it doesn't last? Whatever, you had a date with an attractive girl, now move onto the next one until you find the one for you. If you wait, she'll always get tired of waiting for you and move on. However long you feel comfortable "working up" to asking her out is going to be too long. Always.