>hit things off well with girl on dating site
>at one point I ignore her text messages for three weeks so that I seem cool and aloof and don't appear desperate
>she says that my long silence made her think I'd moved on and so she started dating someone else
You motherfuckers lied to me.
Who the fuck told you to do that?!?
You guys did
Fuck y'all
He fell for the pua bullshit
So here's another idea. Try flirting next time.
>so that I seem cool and aloof and don't appear desperate
No it seem very distant and bullying!!!!!
Please message her again!!!!
When you dont message her
She feels ugly, fat and self hating!!!
Kill self now
>That pic.
Lady I have bills to pay.
Not him, but I've had similar Jow Forumsice given to me with similar results. You guys are idiots.
>Please message her again!!!!
she's already moved onto someone else. at that point, it's stalking.
>three weeks
>three fucking weeks
What is wrong with you? That's not lack of desperation, that's neglect.
Three weeks. Wow. I'm inclined to think you're lying, can't believe anyone to be this dumb.
No more excuses
You always have time if you cared
lol what the fuck man three weeks is WAY too long, if you're gonna be cool and aloof I wouldn't stretch it for longer than a day or two. even that's too much, just as long as there's at least 20-30 minutes between texts you should be fine
No she is stalking you secretly and waiting for you to message her again secretly
>example of stalking based on personal delusions
nice.
Please message her back
You are bullshiting its not stalking
You are just afraid of being ignored back
he'd be basically stalking her by doing this. you're delusional.
>Please message her back
>ends up committing sexual sexual harassment
>just fucking texting someone is stalking
she already knows that he's either a moron or doesn't give a shit about her or both. just be fucking nice and say something like "hey, sorry, it took me so long to get back to you! i've just been going through some shit but I would love to hang out and get to know you better :)"
if she says no just say "ok cool" and drop it, nbd.
>when someone likes you, they'll text you a lot, stay up every night with you, compliment you, and always have time for you.
Only when it's reciprocated. Otherwise this is really creepy.
No you stupid shits
She is hoping to hear from you again
god you guys stress me out
Please love me back Clara
>just fucking texting someone is stalking
one of the most common ways to stalk people is by messaging them undesirably.
>just be fucking nice
stalking is generally done by "being nice," or by "nice guys"
>say something like "hey, sorry, it took me so long to get back to you! i've just been going through some shit but I would love to hang out and get to know you better :)"
i didn't think you guys would come up with a creepier response, but holy shit o.o
>"hey, sorry, it took me so long to get back to you! i've just been going through some shit but I would love to hang out and get to know you better :)"
Whatever you write to her -- nothing like this. Comes on way too strong.
>She is hoping to hear from you again
again, one of the very common delusions that motivate stalking cases
>Three weeks
>THREE WEEKS
You should not message her first for at max 3 days
And answer her messages if she texts first, but not instantly
Try understanding the advices before applying them
>just be fucking nice and say something like "hey, sorry, it took me so long to get back to you! i've just been going through some shit but I would love to hang out and get to know you better :)"
If I had a guy message me this out of the blue it would be the final nail in the coffin
>one of the most common ways to stalk people is by messaging them undesirably
sure but this isn't really an instance of that
>stalking is generally done by "being nice," or by "nice guys"
ok but i think we're old enough her to understand the difference between a "nice guy" and someone who's actually decent and respectful.
>i didn't think you guys would come up with a creepier response, but holy shit o.o
literally how? it's awkward but i'm trying to save OP's ass. it's a definite dead end if he just gives up now. asking someone who you met on a dating site on a fucking date isn't creepy, it's expected.
If you think that's a creepy response you've probably never held a proper conversation with a girl let alone anyone. Btw this creepy shit is coming from a guy who thought he could manipulate a girl by ignoring her for 3 weeks EPIC LOL!
>Try understanding the advices before applying them
Try communicating them better before giving advice.
Kek, you know you love us.
The final solution:
If you you made her smile alot: not creepy
Who in the world would think that 3 weeks is a reasonable time for ignoring someone before talking to them again? Especially when you're trying to date them?
>sure but this isn't really an instance of that
she didn't keep up-to-date after being ghosted. it's very clear she doesn't want to be contacted, even if she didn't end up dating someone else.
>ok but i think we're old enough her to understand the difference between a "nice guy" and someone who's actually decent and respectful.
everybody thinks they're decent/respectful even when their actions are contradiction.
>literally how? it's awkward
that being part of it
>but i'm trying to save OP's ass.
by having him overstep boundaries and commit sexual misconduct.
>asking someone who you met on a dating site on a fucking date isn't creepy, it's expected.
they don't expect to be stalked and harassed.
I certainly believed it when I was also given the same advice. You should've been more clear.
Women often smile at people they're uncomfortable around as not to risk setting them off.
>You should've been more clear
I'm not the one that gave the advice but the actual person obviously thought you couldn't be that dumb
He put faith in you
Clearly quite a few people considering how they've made the mistake. I'm wracking it in my head right now, and find myself drawing the same conclusion.
The actual person, and you, can't communicate your intent well enough, so of course people are liable to misinterpret it. Should've made that shit more obvious.
You probably should've been more clear, then. Instead of relying on faith, which is obvious recipe for disaster.
It's not our fault if you misinterpret it, even more when talking about flirting and dating since they are heavily subject to improvisation and case by case adaptations
>He put faith in you
That essentially begs for shit to go wrong.
It is your fault when people misinterpret what you tell them because theyre not the ones who failed at proper explanation. Theres a reason why laws are written as specifically as possible.
>she didn't keep up-to-date after being ghosted. it's very clear she doesn't want to be contacted, even if she didn't end up dating someone else.
it's not clear. if OP were to message her once or twice with no response, then it would be clear. he just fucking dipped after small talking with someone he met on tinder or w/e, ofc she doesn't care that much.
>everybody thinks they're decent/respectful even when their actions are contradiction.
sure
>by having him overstep boundaries and commit sexual misconduct.
how the fuck isit sexual misconduct lmfaooooo. yeah, you're right, my initial suggestion was stupid. however i think that OP should try to causally talk to her for a couple days, then if she's responsive then he should shoot his shot.
>they don't expect to be stalked and harassed.
absurd, this isn't close to being harassment. OP is just a pussy and this girl wasn't invested enough in him to respond.
Tips and tricks for dating are not laws
Laws are objective when dating is highly subjective
Also
>THREE FUCKING WEEKS
>it's not clear. if OP were to message her once or twice with no response, then it would be clear.
it's not dependant on how many times he attempts to contact her or even if he knows she wants to be contacted or not. it depends on whether or not she wants it. that's literally it. if your attempt to contact her turns out to be harassment, even if you weren't definitively sure she wanted to be approached, even if you were completely unaware, it's still harassment and misconduct. they're not going to go out of their way to communicate this, so you have to use the silence itself as a hint.
>however i think that OP should try to causally talk to her for a couple days
which will be sexual harassment, given the conditions already present.
>this isn't close to being harassment
unwanted contact is harassment. it's one of the most common forms of it.
>THREE WEEKS
damn son, try 1/2 days tops
This
OP has lost, he should move on as well
No more contact unless she does first, which most likely won't happen either
ok so this is just thinly veiled misogyny
>is highly subjective
And look where that subjectivity got us.
>THREE FUCKING WEEKS
I probably would've done the same because you didn't bother mentioning anything with regards to timing. Of course they're going to fill in that gap with dubious shit.
Again,
>subjectivity
look what happened.
good to see it's apparently possible to be misogynist to your own :|
Don't blame us
May this be a lesson for all social retards here
>thinly veiled misogyny
>while also suggesting to straight up stalk a girl
>Don't blame us
Don't write your advice so poorly that people easily misinterpret it.
>May this be a lesson for all social retards here
Funny, since the inability to communicate what you mean is one the most common signs of social retardation.
This. You don't really text people if they haven't replied yet.
women are human beings with thoughts and feelings just like you bro, i know it's WILD. i can promise you that no fucking woman thinks this way or is going to accuse some nerd of assault for sending her a single text. i see this as an elaborate projection of your sexual insecurities and fears onto potential partners because a) you don't want to internalize rejection and b) you can't empathize with women. stop being so melodramatic. you can talk to women without being a creep, you can ask them out without being an abuser. it's just clear that you haven't figured out those distinctions yet.
You can't advance in life if you keep putting the blame on others
Also, for the third time, I'm not the one that gave the advice to OP
If you have a doubt on an advice someone gave you, just ask for clarifications
>i can promise you that no fucking woman thinks this way
we do.
>or is going to accuse some nerd of assault for sending her a single text
that happens all the time.
>i see this as an elaborate projection of your sexual insecurities and fears onto potential partners because a) you don't want to internalize rejection and b) you can't empathize with women.
that's an awful lot of projection.
>stop being so melodramatic.
stop being a stalker.
>you can talk to women without being a creep
by not doing creepy things like stalking them.
>you can ask them out without being an abuser
by not being abusive like harassing them.
>it's just clear that you haven't figured out those distinctions yet.
the irony.
>You can't advance in life if you keep putting the blame on others
How hypocritical of you.
>Also, for the third time, I'm not the one that gave the advice to OP
You're still going to be pinned for giving the same advice that resulted in the same problems.
>If you have a doubt on an advice someone gave you, just ask for clarifications
Or you be more clear next time so they don't risk the same problems.
I'm a girl.
If I tell a guy that I'm dating someone and he keeps texting me, I'm going to block him at least.
It is creepy as shit to message a girl who told you she's taken, if you have romantic or sexual intentions.
>How hypocritical of you
I never told I wasn't going to change my way of giving my advices
lol actually you guys are right i'm a fucking retard, i missed the part in the OP where he said that she found someone else
Good for fucking you. The problem still remains.
>The problem still remains.
Obviously it does, people will never stop overthinking things
I've certainly had to accuse men for similar things in the past (sometimes less). Most sexual harassment you experience tend to be small things like trying to contact you when you haven't expressed any interest in them, or rejected lovers trying to make some kind of amends or compromise. Crap where they obviously mean well, but are still violating both your boundaries in some way.
ITT: Girls are insane cunts who consider guys to be stalkers and predators for existing. This world would genuinely be a better place if some of you were hit by a train, you're human garbage.
Yeah existing by harassing them to the loint they fear their safety. I guess that's how guys live their lives if you mean exisiting like this?
>sending someone a single text message is stalking and harassing them
Nah, you're just a cunt. There's not even anything in OP's post to indicate that the girl he was talking to felt put upon by him in any way.
I met a girl on a dating site who within 12 hours of first talking me wanted to see my Facebook account to make sure I wasn't catfishing her and demanded to know things like my sexual history. When all was said and done I walked away thinking she was a nice girl and liked her. It would never even occur to me to take something as bog fucking standard as a "hey let's get to know each other :) " text as some creepy, sinister invasion of privacy.
People take the advice they want to hear.
You wanted to seem cool and aloof to her so you didn't take anyone else's advice regarding the issue.
Regardless of whether or not you fell for bad meme advice, it is ultimately your fault for not seriously deliberating on any other options.
Now take the bad advice again and message her so you sound like a total faggot, remember, don't even think about just moving on and learning from this mistake.
You’re a retarded piece of shit user. Yeah let me be a dumb fuck and not text someone back for 3 months. Shit make it a year so she REALLY knows you got options. Dumbest shit I ever heard.
>pic related, its you
It's call Jow Forums - Advice, not /gadv/ - Good Advice
>three fcking weeks
you dumb piece of shit, who the actual fuck told you to do that? blindly followed the order of some cunt on Jow Forums? jesus christ
>DUDE dont text her she'll think your needy
>WTF dude why didn't you text her
All advice is garbage and this board should be shut down
>THREE WEEKS
This is so bad, I'm going to hit you with a classic reaction image.
>Its normal to leave a girl hanging for nearly a full month
OP or some other foreveralone user misinterpreted advice to make you not seem desperate by not immediately responding for a day or two.
What they didn't know (besides what I've already stated and, if I remember correctly, the fact that you only do it when you first match with someone and/or maybe one or two messages after that) is that this is just some stupid meme people spread around about picking up chicks.
Its a dumb ritualistic behaviour, like crossing your fingers before rolling slots or, when using a recipe, doing some thing to your food that your mom and all the chefs recommend you do but realistically serves no purpose surviving instead through not wanting to bother questioning it alone.
>Jow Forums should be shut down
I actually kind of agree or rather think that Jow Forums's purpose should be updated to just be about issues that aren't quite so emotional and maybe if possible, develop link to something similar to Jow Forums that is actually really well thought out and not complete bullshit that ignores almost the entire field of psychology in its rules and design.
>possible, develop link to
*possible, develop or link to
LMAO. Holy shit autism is alive and well in you.
Jow Forums is a containment board. I don’t get why anyone would be stupid enough to go to Jow Forums for helpful advice, but the existence of this board prevents other boards from being flooded with off-topic advice threads
>three entire weeks
Honestly my man you're fucking retarded lmao.