It feels like my boyfriend gets mad on me for getting mad or annoyed. We have some tension about sexual things with him saying that he thinks it causes stress for few bad expierences we had.
Today I gave him a blow job, wanted to make him feel special. He was standing up and finished without warning(which he normally warns about) and got it all over my clothes. I naturally reacted negative, since I was not ready for this.
He is very angry and doesnt want to talk to me, says that some clothes are more important to me, which is not true. I just didn't like it in the moment, but he is having none of it.
He even went so far as finding the piece of clothing I wore and tore it while asking "Is this more improtant than our relationship". I don't know what is normal anymore. I just don't.
Am I the asshole
By tore, I mean he ripped it. Sorry for my English.
the way he tore your clothes sounds legit fucked up, but finding good people is hard.
i'm saying you are right but you should stay with him if everything else works
Is this a repost? Well fuck it , he is the asshole here. You gave him a blowjob that motherfucker
How should I react? I dont want to be a pushover.
He literally went and ripped my thing...
no this isnt a repost...
You seem like you're sissy pushover
He is defo in the wrong here. What and why did he destroy???
He destroyed my pantyhose, it was new and I dont earn much. He earns 3 times my salary.
I feel so demorolised.
No, he's a possessive asshole and you should break up with him immediately if this is the way he treats you. That's a load of garbage
He did it to show his power over you. Op run away from such relationship
Maybe. Because I am here crying and he is playing league of legends with a best friend, yay.
I just want to show him what an asshole he is, try to make him see before leaving, I dont know how.
I have had enough on this world. I am going to kill myself and thats it. I am sorry, I cant take it anymore.
Please delete the topic, I dont know how.
>He went to play league of legends after this
Fuck this selfish cunt. He ripped your pantyhose apart because he thinks you care more about clothes than him but he's going to play league of legends while you cry over him screaming at you?
Well obviously he cares more about his video games than you. If he runs windows and you can get access to his PC, you should delete system 32 on his computer then break up with the fucker. If you can't, then just break his PC apart. Leave a little not about he cares more about his stupid video games than you and that you're tired of being screamed and controlled by a hypocritical asshole like him.
Demand he replace the pants or get the fuck out. Ask him how much he would care if you ripped his new pants.
Getting a blowjob is such effortlessness on his part. I would know. I lay there and let her suck.
He is your man.
It's your job to understand what's the problem that he isn't telling you.
If you wanna leave him, just drop it and go become a rostie ( you don't need the validation of the internet ), else try to understand what's the real issue instead of giving him a bj.
So, in essence, use your god damn brain, not your vag.
>It's your job to understand what's the problem that he isn't telling you
>breaking up with some asshole who tears your clothes apart because you aren't giving him enough attention through blowjobs means you're a whore
Fucking incels I swear to God
Op, dunno about your bf but personally if I can't come in her mouth the whole BJ is ruined and I would be more frustrated than relieved. Not only that but my gf was hesitant about bjs and I told her I am not gonna give that up to save the relationship. Sexual compatibility and satisfaction is an important part of a relationship.
I would rather be straight up than end up hating her and secretly wanting bjs from other girls.
Sounds to me like he is sexually frustrated and probably that makes him question if he has a future with you. I know I would if sexual satisfaction for both partners is unachievable.
As I see it you have to choices
>break up with him (in a nice way) and move on to someone else
>talk to him about your feelings, let him know that just because you had some negative sexual experiences that doesn't make the relationship any less special and that you're confident you will get there provided you leave frustration and annoyance aside and work together
>not swallowing his cum
I'd get antsy too
>destroying your fucking pantyhose, which absolutely hasn't done anything wrong and it costs money
The motherfucker must be ended
>He was standing up and finished without warning(which he normally warns about) and got it all over my clothes. I naturally reacted negative, since I was not ready for this.
yeah, I'd get angry too or at least question the relationship. Since you reacted very negatively when you came in contact with his semen, it means you're disgusted by it and even if it goes on your clothes. That means you're disgusted by him and the juices he produces, something that nobody wants to hear if they have intimate relationships with someone else. Men don't go around complaining about vagina juices when going down. Heck I even smell and lick my finger afterwords.
Nobody says to swallow, but god damn at least be nice and spit afterwords or at least stop going down. Set the boundaries before you get into sex. And btw if you're so disgusted by semen, know that the penis leaks small amounts of it before cumming. Sex and our bodies are generally disgusting that's why we do it with other people we're attracted to.
OP, this sounds sketchy as hell. The fact that he destroyed your stuff on purpose. The fact that he gets mad if you get upset. The fact that you have to control yourself around him or he'll blow up.
All of those are warning signs for abuse.
How often are you afraid of him?
How often do you find yourself not saying something because you think it'll upset him?
How often do you feel like you can't be honest?
How often does he say that your feelings aren't legitimate, and you're overreacting or blowing it out of proportion when you get upset?
How often do you feel like you're not happy in the relationship but then he tells you or you tell yourself that you won't find anyone better?
How often do you want to leave but feel like you can't?
All of these are very serious red flags, as well. If any of these are true, seriously consider leaving the relationship.
>I naturally reacted negative
10 years ago, my girlfriends would argue with me sometimes. Occasionally, they would get out-of-hand.
I naturally slapped them across the face.
OP, do you see your entire post was one big excuse, building up to a moment where you only """"""reacted negative""""" and immediately descended into more excuses.
As someone with an old anger problem, I know it when I see it, you have anger issues. You foremost need to stop excusing your behavior. Whatever "negative reaction" you did was inappropriate, no matter how large or small. You should always control your emotions, particularly anger, and use them constructively.
Learn how to channel your angry feelings into useful action (rather than destructive action). You don't even need to tell me what you did, because I already know it was destructive. What ever words you might've said, actions you took, it was destructive. When these feelings come up, harness the power of your anger and funnel it into something better.
Read "Anger management for dummies", it was my bible back in the day. A really great book.
Also share it with your bf.
Hypersensitivity is just masqueraded anger, if you consider yourself a "sensitive" person, it's still anger and you need to manage it.
>How should I react?
Assertive, but not angry.
Please read the book in my last post. There is one chapter on assertiveness that clearly explains the difference between the two.
>girls with autism
so cute
I suspect they're both angry, but...
>seriously consider leaving the relationship.
That should be a last resort. Since there's no abuse or anything, just broken pantyhose, there's lots of room to work things out. People do change if they want to.
If they love each other, they'll change and be good. Believe it or not, but angry people actually do want good relationships. Just something is blocking them form achieving it. And imo, most often it's just a missing pinch of knowledge.
Emotional abuse is just as real as physical abuse. You don't have to physically harm someone to abuse them.
If OP is afraid of her bf, that is not a healthy relationship. If her bf does have anger issues, it's not her job to fix them for him or to keep herself a victim until he changes.
People can change if they want to. OP's bf might very well change. I am absolutely not denying that. But everybody is putting the weight on her to change him. The weight is on her bf. This is true in any abusive relationship.
It is not the job of a wife to change the abusive husband. It is not the job of a child to change the abusive parent. It is not the job of a senior to change the abusive caretaker. Their priority is their own safety. Always.
That's a very idiocentric worldview you have. But ok.
OP is not innocent here, we still don't know what the "reacted negative" thing she's hiding from us means. But given the absurd number of excuses she padded it with, I presume it's pretty bad. Be careful before you go blaming it all on her bf. She very well could be guilty.
What an asshole, I'd break his nose. Tell him to buy you a new pair of pantyhose or end it without regret. He sounds like he has mental problems lol, ofc your gf is going to be upset if you cum on her clothes. Not a reason to get angry back? It makes no sense.
>it must be the woman’s fault!
I don’t know what else I expected from a domestic abuser
Also PB is mentally retarded and should be banned for advertising.
It's possible, I don't have all the information.
What I do know is that it's important to take the suggestion that someone is afraid in their relationship seriously.
I'm not saying it is abuse. but I gave a list of criteria that are very serious implications. If none of those are true? Then it's not abuse and it is just a miscommunication. But I've also seen way too many people accepting or trapped in abusive relationships that have destroyed them from the inside out.
OP probably isn't a saint. But that doesn't mean she's necessarily wrong. I see enough signs of smoke. I want OP to make as very serious analysis to see if that smoke really means fire.
If OP is legitimately afraid of her boyfriend and fearful of her safety, it's not idiocentric to suggest that maybe that fear has a reason.
Sounds like you two aren't communicating honestly. You're both thinking thoughts and not saying them out loud so you both kinda end up on different pages. (Probably even two different books, sometimes.)
You two need to sit down, hold hands and fucking talk. Use phrases like, "I feel like ______ when you do this." or "when ___ happens, I feel ______" so that you don't come across as attacking one another.
You also gotta self reflect on your own mindset and why you go from zero to sixty so easily. That's on you to fix. Why you get mad so easily? Why does he? Talk this shit out and figure out how to communicate with each other so you aren't guessing and wondering why your shit's falling apart.
*yawn*
pic related
I understand. I know you mean well.
I'm just a little sensitive to people who cut straight to "just break up" while missing the milestones in between. But I get you, you're looking out for her best interests.
I get what you mean. Normally I'm one of the first people to suggest communication and talking it out. But there's an overwhelming amount of "it's just you, you're being unreasonable" in the thread and I wanted to make sure that somebody out there was making sure this wasn't a case of abuse.
I absolutely agree that communication is paramount. But if it is abuse, the value of communication breaks down. You can't change someone who won't listen and doesn't want to change.
>he actually took the time to make that image
wtf dude I know you’ll just dismiss me but please get some help
sounds like your bf is a dick. how hard is it to say im gonna cum
you need help
you sound narcissistic to the point of being mentally ill
KEK God you're so cringey, my man
Who cares what a spousal abuser has to say?