Want a girlfriend

>cant get a girlfriend
No such thing. That's an incel meme.

natural charisma sucks dick. The issue isn't getting a girlfriend, it's getting the right chick, and that's just impossible because girls aren't good enough. That's the truth, they're too boring, and even girls you "might" consider just fucking but that don't really hold any interest to you won't fall into your arms, you'd actually have to put effort into it so it's not worth it.

Then why cant i get a gf or even a first date no matter how hard I try? Meanwhile every other male I know gets dates with no effort and always has done his whole life

fucking retard it's not about how hard you try to fly, it's about the technique. You think you can build a tall building by trying your hardest? Mud and water can only get you so high up.

Are you consciously lying or have you convinced yourself those lies are true?

>no matter how hard I try
You haven't tried shit. Tell us what things you have done? How many girls asked out in person? How many tinder matches?
>gets dates with no effort
They make lots of effort but you refuse to see it. What made you think this in the first place? Are you literally seeing your friends being approached by women who enter their basement?

I cant ask out girls because i dont have the necessary charisma or confidence to do so and im too scared of rejection. I tried tinder but im again too scared of rejection for it too work cause 99% of girls wont message first.

>Are you literally seeing your friends being approached by women who enter their basement?
No but im seeing lots of guys who just go to a party or a club one day, or attend class, and within a few days to weeks they're suddenly dating a girl that they met there. I dont know how they do it, its as if they just instinctively know what to do and can do it without any fear or trepidation whatsoever. Meanwhile the thought of me asking out a girl makes me start to have a panic attack.

wut lol
I know lots of guys that are better than me that have trouble getting into relationships

>I have tried so hard
>has literally never asked a girl out
Get out. You belong on r/incels you deluded lying brainlet.

You seem quite angry. Maybe you act angrily or aggressively without realising it. That's certainly going to put girls off.

My anxiety is so strong that even if i try really really hard I still am too scared to ask girls out

Thats not my fault. If I was strong enough to ask a girl out and risk rejection then I would do it, but im not

Im not angry im just upset and confused

>everyone I dont like is r9k lmao
Fuck off idiot.

Yeah dude! This is how it works. You are just not ready yet.
Other guys you see around that have plenty of relationships wuthout even working out or having awesome skills, are all paid actors.
Work more and improve yourself
Maybe in 15 years you're gonna make it

Didn't you promise to not return here until you get gf like a month ago?

Yes, I am sure you are upset and confused. It's really understandable. But your upset and confusion can manifest itself in different ways. You could be really quiet, you could hide away for days, you could get very angry, etc... Think about how you usually act outwardly when you feel bad about these things. How would other people see it?

>>I can't ask out girls

Dude, get the fuck out of here. That is LITERALLY the most important thing to getting a girlfriend.

You have no fucking clue what makes a guy more or less attractive.

Never asking out a girl=not trying at all

Its really hard because I cant ask out girls due to fear. Even when girls are blatantly flirting with me I still cant ask them out because of fear of rejection. There is no way to know with 100% certainty that a girl wont reject me if i ask her out

Just tell me how to get over my fear

How exactly have you tried? Do you even speak to girls?

Dude, forget about getting a girlfriend for now - what you need to do is to get some friends that are females.

I have female friends dude... What are you struggling to comprehend here? I can talk to women just fine, and sometimes they even flirt with me really heavily. But Im too scared of rejection to ask them out, and girls never want to make the first move

I see other guys with natural charisma and confidence even if they're uglier or shorter than me, it sucks ass. I feel like I'm mentally deficient for not being able to ask out or flirt with girls

Fear? Can you describe what you are scared of?

Not even that, he needs therapy badly. He has far bigger issues than not asking girls out.

I was about to make a 500 word response and a how-to guide

>I cant ask out girls

but then I realized you were that guy

you've been posting about this for months now

>Just tell me how to get over my fear
Just fuckin ask girls out you doofus

They might say no, and you know what happens then?

Literally nothing, doesn't matter if they say no. It's like when you ask someone working the cash at a gas station if they have change for a 20$ or something, there's tons of gas stations out there bro

>and girls never want to make the first move

okay well whoops

>girls are blatantly flirting with me I still cant ask them out

which one of these is a lie?

>Humiliation
>Social embarrassment
>Having my worst fears confirmed (that girls dont like me)
>Being condemned to yet more years of kissless virginity
>Awkwardness, the crushing painful awkwardness
>Even if they say yes I'm still gonna fuck it up because I dont know how to kiss/have sex/behave on a date/do anything at all romantic or sexual

Post the 500 word response anyway please

How does one get some control over a fear of heights or of anything else? You expose yourself to it again and again until you realize that it's not really something to fear.

Just literally do it at least once. Then once you realize that nothing happens besides a little bit of embarrassment it gets easier the next time, so on and so forth.

Flirting isnt a first move. By them not making a first move I mean they flirt with me but they dont actually go in to kiss me or ask me on a date

>Post the 500 word response anyway please

"just ask girls out" times 125

>>Look at guys who have bfs

Attached: op.jpg (568x624, 38K)

Find a girl you barely know and barely care about. Ask her out. If she rejects you won't give a shit because you don't care about. Do this 2-3x and fear of rejection is gone.
>inb4 I can't

>Girls flirt with him
>He doesn't respond
>He expects them to jump his bones
You're painfully retarded. FLirting IS a first move.
Just ask girls out. You're never going to get out of this if you don't ask girls out.
It is ENTIRELY your fault if you're single.

>Humiliation
>Social embarrassment
>Having my worst fears confirmed (that girls dont like me)
>Being condemned to yet more years of kissless virginity
>Awkwardness, the crushing painful awkwardness
>Even if they say yes I'm still gonna fuck it up because I dont know how to kiss/have sex/behave on a date/do anything at all romantic or sexual

You are experiencing that fucking shit RIGHT NOW you fucking moron.

You feel like you are mentally deficient because you are mentally deficient. If you literally get an actual, panic attack in the form of a violent physical reaction just from thinking about asking a girl out all of a sudden then you literally have a mental disorder that you need to get meds for.

>Flirting isnt a first move.

Yes it is, it is the first move. Some could consider it to be the second or third move even.

> they dont actually go in to kiss me or ask me on a date

That would be them doing everything for you.

Like does a girl have to be naked and hovering over your dick about to stick it in herself for you to finally be like "hey! Wanna go see the Spider man movie next weekend?"

>barely know and barely care about
Do you mean a complete stranger?

No i still cant do it. Even in a bar if a girl is flirting with me i cant ask her for her number. Im too scared that she might still reject me, OR that she'll say yes but I'll be too incompetent to know how to kiss/date/do things right

I need a girl to actually come out and say "I like you romantically" or "I find you attractive and want to date".

To be honest even if a girl straight up tells me "I think you're hot" thats not enough. Some female friends of mine have told me that but I still couldnt make a move afterwards because I thought they were just saying it to be nice

Why have you not been to therapy? We have been telling you for months.

Like a girl from school you had a small talk with few times while waiting by coffee machine. You're gonna get 95% rejected but that is the fucking point.

>I need a girl to actually come out and say "I like you romantically" or "I find you attractive and want to date".
Dude, it doesn't happen. No one goes there to a guy that doesn't give any sign of being into them, and asks them out on a date.

My boyfriend is autistic. Even him showed signs of being into me before I told him I liked him.
There's no way out of this. You HAVE to put yourself out there to get a girlfriend. Otherwise, stay single.

What a pathetic post
>This thing I want requires effort so it's not worth it

> ask girl out, she rejects and I will have breakdown
or
> ask girl out, she accepts and I will have breakdown
So what kind of advace you want?

Whats the point? I went before and it didn't cure my fear of rejection

My brain is broken. I got bullied in high school and had no friends. Now I have friends and am pretty good looking and relatively successful but my brain is still broken. When I look at a girl I like my brain just tells me "theres no way she would say yes to you dude, she will reject you 100%" and theres nothing i can do to quieten that voice

Damn, I don't know any women like that.

It looks like you've already abandonned. We can't help if you're not willing to help yourself.

How many such people do you even think exist?
Just a ballpark number. I am curious.

Sounds like you went to some shit therapists. I've been through the same thing, I fucking hated some of these dumb cunts, they never helped. It took me a little while before finding a good one.

I am willing to help myself but I'll tell you what happens every time

>Decide "okay, im gonna ask a girl out"
>Think about girls I know who are single and I think are cute
>Decide to ask one of them out
>Think about how to do it
>Think "if i do it over facebook thats pathetic and won't work"
>So I have to do it in person
>So my options are either ask her out in class, or at a party, or whenever i randomly see her
>In class is too awkward and I'll never ever get the courage to do it
>At a party is possible cause of liquid courage from alcohol, and relaxed atmosphere, but I always bottle it last minute because the pressure is too much

No matter how much I try to build myself up to do it... I just cant. The words will not come out of my mouth

>I got bullied in high school and had no friends

Okay but that's literally all of us on this website.

>My brain is broken.

That I don't doubt, we can't help you. Like the other user or anons said, at this point you need a psychiatrist or psychologist - not people on Jow Forums.

>Whats the point? I went before and it didn't cure my fear of rejection
So what the fuck are you expecting us to do for you?

You want girls to ask you out, and be the ones to kiss you and do everything for you and meanwhile you expect us to fix your problems.

You see the pattern here? And meanwhile you have the audacity of first posting that the game is rigged against you? You absolutely refuse to play the game unless the board is rigged so that it's already on the final winning move and you don't even have to touch anything. That's what you're expecting.

Looks like somehow already know the answer to this, but what asking girls out online where you don;t have to physically say words?

Hey let me guess, you literally physically can't move your thumbs?

My man you got a neurological degenerative disorder if that's true. What you need is a team of researchers and some CAT scans, not advice from Jow Forums.

Quite confident this is old bait, but I've never seen it so here goes.

You're thinking very extreme, nobody's 100% guaranteed to accept a date. There are good odds, like they've shown signs of interest back, but even then some chicks may have other things going on in life and will usually respectfully say no if its something unusual and specific to them.

If you're as confident and socially adept as claimed, you'll be able to find someone else over time if there's a rejection. Look at the benefits you could bring to someone else's life as a partner, and keep those in mind when asking them out. If you can't find any, then you likely have much deeper problems and need to explore that. Your personal problems will not magically disappear when you get a gf; those bad feelings may be suppressed during the honeymoon phase but they'll need to be addressed at some point.

If you're so irrationally worried about asking someone out, try Bumble then. Even then you'll still likely need to ask them out, but at least they initiate the conversation. Bottom line is you've got to confront this fear, alone, with therapy, or somehow.

Well I tried Tinder and I just sit there staring at my matches on my phone, trying to bring myself to message one but constantly deleting everything i type because i think its cringe or not good enough

- be a nice friendly decent person
- be outgoing and socialize so you meet girls
- don't be a "neet", be at least a bit ambitious
- don't be disgusting

The first step to getting a girlfriend is to be ok with being single. Assume you're going to be single for the rest of your life and be ok with it. Women can smell desperation from a million miles away. There are women on planets in Andromeda that can smell your desperation from literally a galaxy away.

Love yourself first, be ok with who you are first. I'm a weird longhaired (diagnosed) autistic stoner and I can get with girls but my muscular strong jawed hairless coworker with perfect teeth hasn't picked up in years because he's weirdly desperate, and chicks can sense that shit. Just chill, and stop treating women as "potential sex partners" and instead as regular people and here's the big twist, if you're not interested in fucking it's more likely they will be. And I don't mean pretend like you aren't interested in sex. If you're actually not interested in sex you're instantly more attractive.

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OP never even mentioned sex.

>Look at the benefits you could bring to someone else's life as a partner
What could these even be? I can't think of any that would differ from person to person.

the red pill >reddit

This doesnt make sense. The biggest playboys I knew chased girls and thought about sex all the time.

You are a retard with worthless advice. That text belongs in whatever folder you kept it in on your desktop.

You’re focusing wayyyyy to fucking hard on getting a girlfriend. Why do you care? Appreciate how you improved yourself over time

Have you ever had a girlfriend?

>The biggest playboys I knew chased girls and thought about sex all the time.
Yeah but I bet they weren't desperate. I can tell OP is desperate from a few lines of text, let alone a face to face interaction. The big fucking jedi secret is that you can't just act like you're not desperate, you have to actually fucking be not desperate. As soon as you lose the desperation, it will happen faster than you think.

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Well thats impossible. Im 22 years old and a kissless dateless virgin. It is literally impossible not to be desperate

Obvious answer is that you are still below average in all of those things you say you have improved. Are you looking for another explanation?

This answer will vary from person to person, but the way I see it is how the life you want to live would mesh with theirs well. Very vague I'm sure, but for example a buddy of mine has an abused gf and is overly patient and understanding of that. They're set in a very rigid routine of date at his house once a week, talk for 1 hour a night, and that's about it. It works for them. For me, I would be wanting variety from week to week, and I know lots of places to go and would be dragging my partner out pretty often. I also don't have that patience/warmth my buddy possesses, so I'd be looking for a more self-sufficient person where we could just get out and live.

So with me knowing that about myself, I'd normally pursue people where my traits would likely vibe with them, and theirs mine. Maybe they're shy and wanting to change that and get out, or they're a socialite, just whatever. I feel confident I can show someone a good time going out, or by introducing them to video games (gamer or not). For me at least, that confidence helped me fight similar anxieties you have; if someone rejects me, then so be it, I'll find someone who appreciates my weirdness. My weirdness comes with negatives as well, but I've been working on them over years (it's hard to break habits built over years, but doable).

tl;dr identify your positives/negatives, soul-search enough that you feel confidence knowing these are a part of you being you, and work on developing those traits.
(Also don't think you NEED to date anyone, that shit's bad)

You're the pathetic one for wasting your time on something you don't even want. Are you a mindless drone or something?

Congrats on getting in shape. Now all you need to do it work in your charisma and your way of thinking.

Chads never do anything for three benefit of women, they do it for themselves. Get into this mindset

>Work hard and tirelessly for years to improve myself so I can be good enough for a woman
This is probably a bait thread but this is your problem right here.
You're doing everything for a woman.
That is not the way to live.
You must strive for a purpose that fulfills only yourself, and not only in materialistic shallow ways, but also within your soul, mind and body.
Essentially you want to become a wholesome being.
If your drive to excel is caused by someone else you'll always be a parasite to them because you'll rely on them for emotional support.
When you truly become absorbed in improving yourself and taking action for your self's sake you'll attract women.

hey maybe don't do that

maybe just send a message

Your problem is that you believe you need to improve yourself to the point where you're good enough for a woman. This automatically comes from a place of weakness and inferiority. Stop that shit right now.

You need to start asking if women are good enough for YOU. I've been on a lot of dates, and I never been nervous, and always confident. Because I go into them with the position that the girl I'm seeing needs to prove to me she's worth a 2nd date, not the other way around.

Confidence is everything. My gf has flat out told me she finds my confidence annoying because it borders on cocky. But that it also turns her on at the same time, and that bothers her but she can't help it.

Cool, but you still need to be good enough to get a first date.

I cant do it.

I literally just spent 10 mins swiping on tinder and getting several matches with cute girls and im nearly having an anxiety attack thinking about messaging them. The pressure is too much

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Do you really think you’re only 10% as good as guys who have girlfriends? That outlook in itself can make dating difficult, if not impossible.

I think I'm not even 1% as good as the guys who have girlfriends

okay well whoops time stop making these threads & posting frogs and time to go see a brain doctor

Write the how to guide man.
I get girls but would love to hear how I could improve my game from another perspective.

That mindset is the problem, not you. The fact you matches on Tinder is proof of that. The reality is you are good enough, you just haven't chosen to believe that yet. Once you do, everything will change

Therapists cant help me get over my petrifying fear of rejection smartass. I tried. Several different ones since I was 16. They just told me "you need to be courageous and ask a girl out" which every user on Jow Forums has already told me

Well either they're right and all the anons are right, or you've got a fuckin tumor in your head that's causing all this and you need brain surgery.

I know they're right. Come on, I'm not stupid. I know with 100% certainty that if I had the balls to ask out some girls I'd lose my kissless virginity within a few months at most.

Like I said in i get tinder matches. I just cant message them out of fear.

What im asking is HOW do i make myself feel good enough and HOW do i get the natural charisma and charm and confidence that other guys have that allows them to effortlessly ask out and flirt with girls

You just do it, even when you don't feel like it. ESPECIALLY when you don't feel like it.

There is no natural charisma, it's all learned.

This is also something you should've asked the 40 different therapists you said you saw already.

I did ask them. They just said "you have to have self-belief and do it". Which doesnt help

I need someone to tell me an actual strategy for increasing my self-belief so i can ask girls out. Cause right now i cant do it

nobody starts with charisma and charm. some learn when they’re in the single digit ages, whereas someone like you just resists the growth into adulthood due to anxiety and avoidant personality traits.

No, I didnt "resist" it. I got relentlessly bullied into submission for all of my formative years. I have a disadvantage that most people do not have because of that.

no. what you need is to accept that sometimes in life you will potentially face bad feelings and go forward with meeting girls even if you’re afraid they won’t like you. the fact you’re so terrified or your feelings is a problem.

yeah, that makes sense. but now you’re free of the shitty retarded school system and it’s up to make the leap. there will never been a day that anyone on this earth is totally safe from rejection.

It's not just "bad feelings". It's gonna be horrific humiliation.

You dont understand. Since the age of 16 I've considered myself some variant of "involuntarily celibate" and a "kissless virgin". Its in my psyche now. If I ask out a girl and get rejected... Thats it, its over. All my worst fears will be confirmed. I will know that I was right to be afraid.

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Then do it so you will finally get rejected and find the courage to kill yourself.

Go play a dating sim or something jesus christ

>If I ask out a girl and get rejected... Thats it, its over.

hey man, you're already pissing your pants and posting frogs and it's all already over and you've asked 0 girls. it literally can't be or get any worse than the hole you've dug for yourself.

>They might say no, and you know what happens then?
>Literally nothing

Not him, but lots of things can happen after they say no. They may spread rumours about you among their friends if you're at school or work. Worst case scenario is you become known as the creep of that city. I know one guy irl who had that happen to him and people laugh at him behind his back.
If there were no risks involved then every guy would at least try to ask girls out.

>I know one guy irl who had that happen to him and people laugh at him behind his back.
No you don't. Liar.

That's dumb though. All guys get rejected. Not every girl is going to be into every guy. But it doesn't mean that there isn't a girl out there willing to date you. Don't take rejection personally because it's literally not

Technically I would be worse off if I asked a girl out and got rejected

Its just that obviously if I ask a girl out there is a certain percentage chance that she might say yes. And obviously if that happened i'd be better off. But it's such a gamble.

I dont know who to ask anyone. I know a lot of cute girls, but I dont know which one is most likely to say yes. Whenever girls flirt with me at clubs or parties I get too scared to do anything, and before I know it the moment's gone. And on tinder... I just don't know what to say to them. i dont have any witty one liners or anything like most guys use on dating apps.