Sugar baby is in love with me

So, I have a sugar daddy/baby type relationship with this girl. We've been in a relationship with 4 years and I've lost a lot of the flare I had for her. There's nothing wrong with her or anything but you have sex with a girl thousands of times and spend all your time with her, it starts to get a little drab. We've always had an 'open' relationship but we usually don't do that. Well, I have but most of the time we don't do that.

I wasn't quite ready to break it off with her quite yet. You never know, some of that flare might come back. I don't dislike her and I'm used to her being around. I spoke to her and I told her, look, I'm really not feeling it lately so I'm going to go get another sugar baby. She was really upset and told me she forbade me from doing that. I told her my relationship wouldn't affect our agreement and I would still support her financially, I just want something new. She still said no.

I asked her why, she's never had a problem with me sleeping with other girls. She said she didn't like that either but it was meaningless sex so she got over it. I told her what I have with her is also meaningless sex. She was visibly hurt by this and asked me if I really felt nothing for her. It became obvious what was going on. I asked her if she has feelings for me. She said yes.

Truth be told, our relationship has become more "normal" over the years. It was strictly business at first but we eventually just became pretty couple-like. I didn't think she'd actually fall for me though. I told her its best if we break up then, I don't want to lead her on. She started crying and said she doesn't want that. She said she wants to restart our relationship but as a normal exclusive couple.

It's not that I feel literally nothing for her but I've intentionally blocked those feelings out because you have to if you want to be a sugar daddy. Do you think a relationship between us could work even though we started out in this sort of relationship?

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I mean, you could try to restart as though you were starting the dating process, like she says.

So you want to have a serious relationship with what's essentially a prostitute with extra steps? Kys

If you do decide to try dating her, make sure she knows you're going to completely cut her off financially first.

How old are you OP? What do you do for a living or you're income if you don't want to say?

Yeah? You're acting like I should pretend I'm superior to her. What's more pathetic than a gloried prostitute than the schmuck who buys her? I'm not going to pretend I'm better than her just because she essentially fucked me for money. I'm arguably more pathetic than she is.

Oh yeah, I made it clear that if we started a relationship, I wouldn't give her an allowance anymore and we would just date like normal and she said shes fine with that.

38. I'm not going to tell what I do but I make about 600k/year.

Sounds like it's a reasonable proposal from her, then, meaning it's only a question of whether you like her enough to try dating.

What is a sugar daddy/baby relationship like? I'm thinking about getting one.

You do you, but personally I would much rather date an educated and hard working woman, not the trashy one who probably hasn't done a real day of work in her life. Might as well pick up an old homeless lady off the street if that's what you're into.

If OP had to get a sugar baby in the first place, he's probably not going to attract the top tier of women

I'm just a virgin NEET in my mother's basement.

This is way outside my experience to deal with.

Most wealthy men have paid mistresses, but they definitely don't marry them.

I enjoy her company but I've always been distant with her so I don't fall for her. I do like her as a person but its safe to say her feelings for me are far stronger than the reverse. That doesn't necessarily mean I can't fall for her though. I'm a little worn sexually though, I was planning on sleeping with another girl after all. I don't know what to do about that. Maybe I short break would do me some good anyway?

Oh its just a barrel of fun. You have this outrageously beautiful girl you would never be able to get normally and you just have fun. Its just a lot sex, traveling, doing fun things, having a good time. It really depends on the girl though. My current girl has a pleasant personality so she's easy to be around. My previous sugar baby was just a rotten bitch so I couldn't stand her outside of sex.

It's like high end escorting except as a subscription service. However that functions is between the sugar daddy and the sugar baby. Monthly allowance? Weekly? On-demand? Unspoken (money is left somewhere and neither side openly talks about it)? Does the sugar daddy just pay her in goods and experiences i.e. exotic vacations completely paid, very expensive gifts?

>had to
Men get sugar babies because they can, not because they have to.

If you try out dating her, then you should both definitely stop having sex for a little while. Treat it like an actual new relationship in the initial stages. Obviously you're going to be more familiar with each other than total strangers, but you can compare it to inviting a longtime friend on a date.

Going through the romance period should help bring back some of the appeal in sex.

This is my dream. Not having a sugar baby fall in love with me, but paying some girl who isn't really a prostitute for sex. Something about her not really liking me, and me not having to give a shit about her feelings just sounds wonderful.

Unfortunately my brain kicks in and I can't justify spending the money when I can get girls for free... :(

Anyways OP, I don't know if it's the best idea, but what do you have to lose? I'm assuming you're not going to have to pay her anymore, and if it doesn't work out, you can dump her. Maybe it will be more fulfilling if you let go of that mental block you're holding?

Restart as she sugested. Try it out for few months. If you still dont feel that you should be together then and only then break it up.

Your current type of relationship are fun and interesting until one moment when you realize that youve been wasting your whole life chasing pure sex and degeneracy.

My man this is a hoe trap. A classic. She was fine when you had sex with other girls because they werent a real threat to her status as main female in your life. Now that you may get another sugar baby, she sees the threat. Actual competition for your money. Now she can throw out all these feelings(some of which may be sincere but since they are coming from an actual whore are still meaningless) and trap you in a relationship, maybe a common law marriage, maybe an actual marriage, and get that sweet sweet half of your shit and some alimony. Miss me with the "I-I'm just as pathetic as her" bullshit. No. You are a man, in the modern age., making 1% tier income. You are superior to her. You are superior to most. If you want companionship, get a dog. If you want good conversation, go hang out with friends or make some, find a meet up for a hobby in your town. There is so much shit you can do, but dont cuff this little thot. If the sex is fire by all means continue hitting it, but take advice from fatlip and dont try to turn a "hoe into a housewife".

Its not surprising. You spend 4 years having sex with a guy and just having tons of laughs and fun, its no wonder she fell for you.

Its still a bad idea though, she's still a ho.

Also I should add why I am credible to talk about this. My mom was a sugar baby for a multimillionaire for years, eventually tricked him into being her fiance and then broke it off and took millions from him and fuckes him over socially before getting impregananted by the unlucky spic construction worker who is my dad after a one,night stand. Her old friends did similar shit, some are even still married to their older husbands, who they treat like dogshit as they deplete their bank accounts. Beware, OP.

Your story doesn't add up. Few millionaire men would let themselves be used like that. Almost sounds like incel scaremongering.

OP said he would still give her cash though, why would she feel threatened?

I can't tell if this is really beta or alpha.

Because it is only a matter of time until she takes over her place. The older thots get rotated out, getting a newer, younger, cuter sugar baby is just the start.

Call it what you want but it is true. I wish it werent but sadly I am the product of possibly one of the most vapid whores on planet earth and the least I can do is warn others of her kind.

>Because it is only a matter of time until she takes over her place. The older thots get rotated out, getting a newer, younger, cuter sugar baby is just the start.
What? This girl is probably in her 20s.

20 year olds are old hags on Jow Forums. She has to be 12 and a virgin to be worthwhile.

Gross.

How do you approach getting into a relationship like that in the first place OP? I'm Interested in someone I know as an acquaintance for occasional dates & sex but I don't want to offend her or for her to feel uncomfortable in the approach. I'm in a long term and recently open relationship with another girl so that adds to the concern of this other girl feeling uncomfortable by the request.

I got her some gifts but I've been afraid to gift them. Was thinking of giving them to her on Valentine's Day with a card saying she's cute, that I'm in an open relationship and I'd like to go out on a date sometime. Thoughts?

Use websites. Such as SeekingArrangement.

If it’s a totally meaningless relationship, why did you two start behaving like a couple towards each other? This is why prostitution is wrong, especially of this kind. She’s basically using you to not grow up and be independent, all the while hurting herself because she wishes you were in love with her, and until this point that’s been fine with you?

I hate people sometimes.

Pretty sure he didn't know she liked him.

It’s a safe assumption that she loves OP, really, considering she works so hard to well maintain this half-fake relationship with him. Maybe OP has some kind of belief that no one can love him? Anyway, this kind of prostitution especially isn’t good. At least if she were older, she’d have more experience with the world and be more able to manage an arrangement like this, but of course women are best near perfect ripeness, right?

Sorry if this is too critical and not constructive enough. In situations like this, it’s hard to give concrete advice not knowing enough of the context. It’s OP’s choice to decide what to do.

It’s a safe assumption that she loves OP, really, considering she works so hard to well maintain this half-fake relationship with him. Maybe OP has some kind of belief that no one can love him? Anyway, this kind of prostitution especially isn’t good. At least if she were older, she’d have more experience with the world and be more able to manage an arrangement like this, but of course women are best near perfect ripeness, right?

Sorry if this is too critical and not constructive enough. In situations like this, it’s hard to give actual advice not knowing enough of the context. It’s OP’s choice to decide what to do.

Hmm, that seems logical.

Sugar babies definitely have their pros. It removes a lot of the artifice and its just pure fun. Its more like having a companion that you have sex with and have a good time with rather than an emotional romantic partner. Its not for everyone though.

Meh. Money isn't everything, I don't let that stuff get to my head. I don't consider myself superior to anybody, I'm just some guy with deep pockets.

I don't plan on rushing into marriage, she'd have to really impress me as a girlfriend to get me to do that. At the very least, marriage in my 30s and early 40s is a no. I don't believe she was insincere with her feelings though but you're probably right in that she feels threatened by other girls. It's not an irrational feeling, I could replace her overnight. I wouldn't do that though. Even though she was just my sugar baby, I have some loyalty to my girls to some extent. I wouldn't throw them in the garbage unless they just piss me off and she's been a good girl to me so I feel like she deserves at least a chance.

There are so many websites for this exact thing nowadays my man. But if you have a specific girl in mind, that's a much harder case to crack. I've only dealt with girls who've put themselves out there already. The best course of action is just be straightforward and honest to her. There's pretty much no way to avoid offending her if this is something she would be offended by.

Eh, it wasn't intentional. You just fall into those roles when you're in close proximity with each other all the time. The whole dependency thing is just part of the package, I'm just into that. She's also into that, it makes for some kinky debauchery. I didn't know she had real feelings, if I did I would have left her before it got to this point. I'm not in the business of playing with her feelings. I just figured she just liked my money.

It’s totally rational (benefits the hell out of you) but it’s not compatible with your, “Oh, I’m so worried and surprised she has feelings for me,” schtick. If she were just useful to you for sex, you shouldn’t have let be her around you all the time. How much have you paid her? Rhetorical question.

You see like a really cool rich guy OP. I hope it works out for you and your girl.

Huh? You're making me seem like scheming villain. If I just wanted sex, I would just get a prostitute. I like having a companion with me. I genuinely enjoy having her around, I do like her as a person. I always enjoyed traveling with her, going on dates, just chilling at my house and doing whatever. But its understood that our arrangement is just business so matter what we do. I genuinely couldn't tell she liked me because she's my sugar baby. She's always been acting sweet and like she wants my dick all the time, since day 1. Its hard to read in between the lines when the lines are so blurred. The only way I would have known is if she told me.

Her monthly allowance is $2k. Not including gifts and other stuff.

Thanks user.

>2 grand a month just for being an attractive woman
Jesus Christ I need to become a woman.

>villain
nah, I didn’t say villain. It seems like you’re usually a very intelligent person but when you want to benefit at the expense of another you suddenly become totally ditsy on the topic. example: “oh I just paid her to be my girlfriend. I’m surprised she actually got attached.” like it’s a shocker that 2 plus 2 out to equal 4?

someone whos la di da about the subject of human psychology and morals is pretty typical and not really anything special like a supervillain.

How is it at her expense when user is paying her?

because paying someone doesn’t relinquish you of all moral responsibility.

She's outrageously pretty. Completely out of my league in normal circumstances, she could be a model. I hate to say it but its obvious when we're together that I'm paying for that. I'm not unattractive, I'm like a 6/10 but she's a 9 on a bad day. She's a freak in the sack too.

Its a shame its going to end soon, no matter what I decide.

Thanks for the input user. I think if you wanted to try things out with this girl I think you'd do well to cut her off financially like another user said for a month or two of dating to see how you feel and how she handles being with you sans the money. Worst case maybe a bit of a messy breakup but you can't say you didn't try then. Best of luck!

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Is it that you have low self esteem and just can’t believe that a girl like that could actually like you? it seems like pretty common sense that she would have fallen for you but even now you’re insisting that she’s just too good for you.

What responsibility does he have? She offered a service and he paid for it. She fell for him but that's her own fault. She should know to keep her feelings in check.

Everyone has a moral responsibility to one another, no matter what money is being exchanged. As for the second comment you made, that’s not how human psychology works.

Thanks user, I hope your situation goes well also.

Not at all. I'm just a regular guy so I have my highs and lows but for the most part, I'm pretty confident in myself. There was never any ambiguity though that all my sugar babies completely outshine me in physical appearance though and that's okay. I don't think its impossible that she would fall for me. I'm above average and have all my ducks in a row, I think I'm a decent catch not to toot my own horn.

You're a degenerate and need to kill yourself.

Were you born rich OP?

>Falling for obvious bait

No, the opposite. I was a poor boy.

You give us poor incels hope OP. I hope I'm rich one day.

That's a pickel for sure, user.

On one hand, she broke the agreement by developing feelings. On the other hand, pairbonding is a normal human condition.

I suppose you could try starting over as normal, but that's not really possible. You already know her, for the most part. You already know what she's like in bed and on trips. You probably know her background and education. Basically, you already know if you want a regular relationship with her. My gut tells me you don't.

You do you, user. But she broke the agreement, and you really don't want a relationship with her. If you did, you wouldn't be seeking advice from these degenerates.

I advise you break it off. She won't go easily if it doesn't work, and a serious relationship would only bring problems.

>sugar baby
I don't understand why men pay for something you can get for free.

It's rather hard to get girls in the same "performing a service, doing it well, he gets to decide" attitude all day long if it's not paid. Most women, anyhow.

Which is fair in equal relationships, but less pleasant.

Never mind that attractive women have around 1000 times more men offering to be their partners than they could possibly fuck even if they tried to do it 16h/day. OP probably wouldn't have hooked up with his except for the money. It works only very rarely.

Maybe you'll at some time study history. Men were the beautiful ones at various points in time, and of course it was an arsepain for women -never mind less pretty ones- to get any pretty men because THEY got swarmed and wooed with all sorts of presents. Again it was probably best for you if you were a RICH woman, then you had a chance.

Why would you pay for a Porsche when you can walk free? Sugar babies provide value that some men feel is worth paying for.

nice LARP weebshit neet

>open relationship
Hahahaha I'm not surprised at this at all

Pretty normal. Unless you're expecting the girl you're paying to fuck to be a monogamistic virgin waifu.

Paying to fuck? What the fuck? I didn't read past the open relationship part

What do you think a sugar daddy is?