Tl;dr My daughter isn't mine, what do I do?

tl;dr My daughter isn't mine, what do I do?

>been with my GF for 8 years, have a 5 year old daughter
>she's my little princess and there's nothing I can do that would disappoint her
>thought I had a happy family, no reason to get married as neither of us care about making what we have "legal"
>own a house outright, gf does the housework and cooking whilst I work and pay the bills
>start a new job and family private healthcare is one of the benefits
>have a full body check-up done for all 3 of us, gf gets a bit weird when they ask for my health history as I have some hereditary things like asthma
>doctor tells me that they can also check up on my sperm and testosterone levels so give it a go
>tells me that I'm sterile and my count is so low that i've most probably been that way since I hit puberty
>double/triple check it, but it is impossible for me to have another child, let alone be a father
>talk to gf about this, she says that they must have made a mistake so pay for a text at another clinic, same answer
>she finally confesses that she had been seeing her ex off and on since we've been together and that he is most probably the father
>when I asked when was the last time she fucked him, she told me a couple of months ago
>her was sobbing through it all and kept begging for me to forgive her, her only defence is that because I was always busy with work she was lonely
>slept in the spare bed, went to work today and haven't spoken to her
>have 45 missed calls from her

Attached: custom-custom_size___maury.jpg (1200x864, 90K)

I love my little princess and she is my world, even though she's not my daughter. My own biological father left before I was born and I was raised by my step father. I want to be there for her just like he was there for me but I can stand the sight of my GF. Any love I held for her once completely disappeared when she told me how long this had been going on. She's taken my daughter away from me and I don't know how to deal with it.

She is my daughter, I don't care if she's not mine biologically. How best can I ensure she has a happy life? I already have a savings account for her but I don't know if she's too young for it to affect her if I leave.

Be there for her as much as that bitch will legally allow. How's the GF's family, will they factor into this at all?

I know it's hard but still - leave and never look back. There's no way for this to work, the kid's mother fucked up her life from the get-go.

Cut your losses, it will only get harder the longer you wait.

It's up to you. You're sterile, so barring scientific advancement (which isn't at all unlikely, given how popular genetics are right now), that's the closest thing to a kid you're going to have. She comes with a mother though.
Do you have any fertility solutions that are available to you? If I had money, I'd make that bitch pop out three and see if that domesticates her.

This is a very fucked situation but you could ask for some arraignment to keep seeing the daughter and spend time with her and be like a uncle to her.But of course the worst part is the mother could feed the child lies and say that you're a bad person if she's petty or the actual father could come back

There really is no easy way out of situation but I wish you both the best

Leave it all. Youre raising chads kid. Youre nothing more than a wallet to your whore girlfriend.

I would kill her if I was you

If you stay, you have literally zero worth as a man in my eyes. Yes, I'm an anonymous imageboard poster but seriously. Please don't put yourself through this. You're obviously making enough money to support a family. You could either leave them and be wealthy alone OR be single and take a less stressful job.
But please don't stay

It will be harder for you than it will be for a 5 yo. If she remembers you at all as an adult it will be just some nice man when she was little. I'm sorry your gf did you like this but the reality is you have been nothing more than a place for your gf to live, her ex is her real bf and her childs father. Don't offer your gf anything including the savings account but if you do want to help some, help your gf get another place and set up, not for her but the child and then you step away, far away. Just know the sooner the real father is able to get into the childs life the better for the child.

Fuck, I feel for you user. Would your (hopfeully now ex-) gf be ok with letting you have joint custody?

Also
>she told me a couple of months ago
Don't believe this or a word she says from now on. Bitch,

I'd pack up and leave. Fuck her. Fuck her excuses. Shes been cheating on you and probably still is

>>been with my GF for 8 years
Thats a cold hearted bitch you got sleeping in your bed. She doesn't love you at all she just pretends, kisses you as you head to work and calls her real bf to come over and fuck and see his kid. Tough

On second thought forget my post I'd suggest to leave there are other chances for happiness

Its OP's house, she needs to leave and the ex needs to finally step up and take responsibility. OP has been helping him for 5 years. Time to cut him off too.

Leave them both user..im sorry youre going through this, but shes not your daughter and your gf is a cheating whore.
the biological father will eventually be involved, especially now that you know you gf cheated on you constantly, and this situation will always come back to light whenever a fight happens.

Your whore gf has already been exploiting you for your time, money, and love. Im sprey you feel attached to the daughter, but shes not yours. Look to adopt a child that needs a good family, and be a good dad.

Tldr. Leave the whore, and become a new man

I'd like to point out that my name is on the birth certificate so whilst I am not the biological father I am the legal father. I'm seeing my lawyer tomorrow to see whether I'd be liable for child support as I'm happy paying for my daughter but am not happy paying any money towards her mother.

I just want to know whether my daughter will remember me as she grows up or whether it's best to leave now and then appear when she's 18 to explain everything and tell her I can support her.

I'm not going to kill or hurt my gf, so incels please go.

I'd rather burn the house down knowing another man fucked my girl in my house. Fuck that.

>I'm seeing my lawyer tomorrow
This is a better idea than asking a bunch of strangers on a Rhodesian flower-pressing blog.

Good luck OP.

I wouldn't give any money if I were I think it would best to talk to your lawyer about getting out of being her legal father and then talk to the mother about her needing to get back with her ex so they can both support the child

It's better to be safe than sorry when dealing with a liar

>I'm happy paying for my daughter but am not happy paying any money towards her mother.
You are in for the rudest awakening about divorce and payments OP. The fact that youre listed on the birth cert as the father, is the nail in the coffin. Shes going to take you to the cleaners bro. Your best and only option would be to sue your gf, the biofather, for emotional damages, conspiracy to steal all your money, and backpay since the cheating gf has been fucking the babydaddy

They're not married.

You should be able to get your name off the certificate considering the proof you have.

Also, expose expose expose the bitch. To her family, friends, everything. And make sure baby daddy knows he's about to pay child support, make sure to expose him to whatever partner he may have at the moment as well. IIRC there was one case of a cuck who managed to sue money from the baby daddy too after it was revealed the kid wasn't his, but not 100% sure (and pretty sure it wasn't in the US, to be fair).

I don't live in the US and we're not married. I don't have a common law marriage so she can't take me to the cleaners or divorce me. her only option is child support hence why I'm seeing a lawyer tomorrow as quick Googling shows infidelity and lying about me being the father is pretty easy to dispute.

I'm not really asking for legal advice as you'd have to be an idiot to take any from this place. I'm asking on how to deal with my daughter and whether it's better to walk away and approach her later in life or keep contact with her.

>I'm asking on how to deal with my daughter and whether it's better to walk away and approach her later in life or keep contact with he
If she were a teen I'd say stay in her life. Since she's five take off but I also wouldn't approach her later. If you are hell bent on helping her, set up some trust with her mothers blessing to be distributed when the girl is an adult. Just be an anonymous benefactor. You need to consider you may find a decent woman, adopt children and the farthest thing from your mind will be this episode.

Walk away. She won't remember you at this age, it's still possible to make a clean cut for her. Everything else will probably just add additional damage to all the bullshit her mother will inflict on her in the future. And she will - if you stay as the occasional babysitter (which will be your only role from the mother's POV), and she eventually finds a new beta to be your full-time replacement, she'll cut you off out of nowhere and lie about you to the kid to make herself look like the good one.

And even if she has the guts to play the current game for a while longer, you have no idea how much more difficult the "I'm not your father" reveal is for teenagers than for little kids.

As tough as it sounds, but you can't save her. She's going with the mother and whatever future partners she may expose her to.

The best thing you can do right now is to not say anything to her.
Sleep at a friend's house, go see a lawyer, talk to her parents, but don't say anything to her until YOU are ready.
A hundred missed calls doesn't mean shit, she have been sleeping with another man throughout your entire relationship and you do not need to hear more lies or excuses from her right now. Yes she is panicking, but that is her fault, not yours.
Make sure you know what your options are going forward and make sure you make the best decision for you. It is a tough situation and I wouldn't whish this on my worst enemies but here we are.

Not this fucking copy/paste again maaaaannnn .... Enough of this..

>my name is on the birth certificate so whilst I am not the biological father I am the legal father. I'm seeing my lawyer tomorrow to see whether I'd be liable for child support as I'm happy paying
JUST

keep contact with her
you are her dad as far as she knows
would be best to try to take custody

sadly,they would probably hand it to the mother,not you

Thought I'd seen this thread before.

>raising another man's child
>happy to pay child support
>got cheated on because you're a beta faggot
>not willing to retaliate
>incels pls go
Lmao, you pathetic fuck. You'll wageslave away to pay for your bastard child meanwhile your bitch wife will tell her bullshit stories about you and your roastie daughter will end up hating you, you'll never relate to her because you weren't in her life. I really hope your cunt daughter ends up hating you, faggot.

Fight for custody of the daughter. Your whore girlfriend is unfit to be the mother because she has no job or house, and you have medical proof of her infidelity. Talk to your lawyer about it. The laws are going to be different in different states.

Godspeed, dadbro.

least he fucked someone incel

Yeah, this.

I am speaking as a woman, so obviously the situation would never be the same, but I would absolutely love to have a child one day, but my insides are too messed up for that to ever be possible, and I have been confirmed to have no way of ever having a child under any normal circumstances. A man having a child would literally be a dream scenario for me, even if he got it from another woman he had cheated with.

We all have our priorities, OP. If you value her being faithful more than anything else, this is a done deal. You'll never recover from a partner who has cheated for years. The trust is irreversibly broken.

If you can look past it, and want children, especially your daughter, and make her happy above all else, stay.

You have the option, and in the end, you are the only one who knows what you would prefer. The situation is already awful, so pick what you personally feel is best, and don't listen to people on Jow Forums for this

Damn I envy your calmness OP
I would be devastated by the pain, anger and sorrow

To elaborate:
Even if the mother brings in another man that could fill 'your role', it doesn't change the fact that this child now loves you as her father and has been for 5 years now.You randomly dissapearing will have some lasting effect on her,subcounciously.
Changing fathers isn't like changing socks.You can't undo your parenthood,her attachment or yours.
And I'm sure dissapearing won't only hurt the child,but also you.

I'd say keep by her side and wait till she grows older to reveal the truth,while reassuring her that she is your daughter,even if not blood related.

Why custody,..
I don't know if the biological father would be up for raising a kid and I wouldn't trust the mother to hold onto a man for too long.
With a mother like that, the kid might end up lacking a paternal figure in her development.

So yeah,don't break yours or the child's heart.
Be there as her father and watch over her, is my advice.

Why not get custody of the child and find a new woman who, like you, wants a family and is willing to accept it coming from a different person?
A lot of single fathers find single moms and get something great out of it.

I don't know how feasible this is as the justice system isn't really in his favor in most countries.

Yeah, his own life.

>Why not get custody of the child and find a new woman who, like you, wants a family and is willing to accept it coming from a different person?
Good idea, but:
>I don't know how feasible this is as the justice system isn't really in his favor in most countries
Most men doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell of getting full custody. And even if she can't possibly provide herself, he gets forced to do so for both of them.

It's a really awful system, unfortunately.