So the following thing might sound strange, but it's a real problem for me. I have huge problems with women basically. The thing is I am not able to make a move on them when the opportunity arises. Which leads to me still being a virgin in my mid twenties. The only times I score is when they basicall shove their tounge up my mouth, which obviously doesn't happen very often. I'm so fucking rigid in my patterns, I had half nacked girls in my bed and didn't fuck them.
I don't know the fuck why. Maybe it is because I used to be a very weird kid and never learned how to do that stuff properly and only got affection by women since the past two or three years, maybe it's because I'm a fat manlet which makes me even more insecure or a combination of factors I am not even aware of.
I know it probably sounds like a case of "JUST DO IT!" but something stops me from putting that into practice, as countless failures in the past have shown. I get close to a girl and at the last moment just put her on hold until she looses interest (which is kind of a dick move desu) but I just can't proceed.
Again, it probably sounds retarded but any input would be welcome since I'm starting to properly despair over this shit.
>probably sounds like No faggot, that's what it is. The only thing stopping you is you. There is no fundamental force preventing you from >Cuddle >Hand on the tity >Turn her over >Make out >Sex It's basic escalation you weird melvin freak. So next time you forget the classic "you miss every shot you don't take" quote here's what you do: >Relax >Take a breather >Step out of your wack ego which is ironically holding you back >Prioritize (HAND ON THE TITY) and Execute (sweet love)
Kayden Cox
But what if you cant do it cause you feel too awkward doing it?
I was once cuddling with a girl in bed and was too scared to kiss her. So I tried kind of caressing her neck to build up to it and it felt so awkward, I felt like I was gonna die from how awkward it felt. Nothing happened of course and years later im still a KV
(Not OP)
Hunter Wright
Build a bridge and get over it. Then again, Jow Forums wouldn't exist if nerds like you understood the difference between CAN'T and WON'T. Can't attack a problem if you're too insecure to accept that it's you.
Colton Perez
I feel you OP. I have bad skin and am not very tall, but I'm definitely not too ugly to ever get a date, especially when my skin is not breaking out. I'm just so fucking rigid and I can't do physical intimacy. Tried being with a hooker, but I was awkward as hell and couldn't get hard enough to fuck her. It feels like a fucking prison.
Matthew Russell
The question is literally how to overcome my inner blockades. I know how the rest works.
Hearing that I'm not the only one helps ease the pain, user.
Christopher Lopez
I mean you can talk all you want about "can't" vs "won't", but the fact still remains I once spent an entire night in bed with a girl who kept taking her clothes off and touching me and I was still too scared to even do so much as kiss her
What are you meant to do when you're that scared that you can't even make a move when a girl is doing everything possible to seduce you?
Jaxson Hall
Femanon here. If you don't make a move, you won't get anywhere. I'll flirt and chat with guys but if they don't take it to the next level then I figure they're not interested and move on. Honestly, sometimes I'll take it as an insult and want nothing to do with that guy ever again
Lucas Cooper
Good to know you're an arrogant retard on top of being a craven fool.
Carson Wood
Just move to cuddling or something. Moving in stages is really the way to go and makes things easier. Also in many cases asking if it’s okay to do something is better than standing at the gate adraid to enter at all. “Want to cuddle?” is not really the coolest thing in the world do say, but this idea that you have to be cool all the time is pretty dumb and was just given to you by other insecure people.
Aiden Wood
What if you're on a date or casually drinking with a group, where it would be awkward to just start cuddling, like if you're sitting with a table between her and you? When do you start cuddling? I always feel like I'm trying some awkward move from a movie, because it's my only point of reference
Gavin Clark
>Honestly, sometimes I'll take it as an insult and want nothing to do with that guy ever again
Hearing that makes me want to kill myself unironically. Its not my fault I'm terrified of rejection... You have to understand that girls are so subtle. What one girl thinks is a sure sign of interest, is for another girl just a sign of friendliness... So there is no guarantee even if a girl seems like she likes you that she won't reject you. And I just can't deal with that, I can't deal with the possibility of rejection.
Jacob Jones
What are you scared of? Looking like a gay retard? I've got some bad news for you. Yes, that's cringe. The setting of my post was "in bed about to fuck but too much of a pussy to get after it."
Honestly just don't be a pussy it's not hard.
Cooper Lopez
You're going to be rejected and that's okay. You don't refuse to play video games because of the chance you'll lose, right? Everyone experiences failure, especially in relationships. Stop making such a big deal about it
Luis Wilson
I'm scared of being humiliated by either 1. Getting rejected or 2. She says yes/lets me kiss her, but I do it wrong and embarrass myself
If I lose a video game it doesn't affect my life beyond being a little bit mad for 2 minutes. If I get rejected it affects me deeply, I end up getting humiliated socially.
Colton Kelly
It's harder when you're already considered undesireable. Rejection for us is a confirmation that we're not attractive, while for an average guy it might hurt, but it's not the kind of situation that would give people watching or learning about the rejection second hand cringe.
Joshua Nelson
>getting humiliated socially
You give yourself too much credit. No one gives a shit. At most they'll laugh and forget about it.
Grayson Torres
Either get over it or accept you're going to be alone forever
Jackson Peterson
Yeah I'm the guy who couldn't get it up with a hooker, and I did try kissing her and I was so bad at it. I wasn't even kissless before that, but when you're in your mid 20s that kind of thing is cringy.
Xavier Gonzalez
Man, all of that is not good.
Blake Morgan
...are you married or taken? Kinda important
Ryder Gray
Nah it's terrible.
Adam Gomez
Obviously neither, m8
Jonathan Rogers
Why don't you get sex therapy? Anyway, I went through a similar thing. Would kind of shake and get so far into my own head I would be terrified to make a move. Idk what kind of hookers you got but mine were great, I was having a hard time getting it up so she just blew me for a bit and jerked me off til I was hard, then got on top and rode me.
After fucking like 6 of them over the course of 2 weeks, I didn't shake and started to get a little bit of confidence. Then I started dating girls again. This time, I still didn't make a move and kiss her until she was in my bed, and I almost didn't kiss her. At some point I knew I would lose this girl if I didn't kiss her though, so at like 2am we were sleeping. She moved a little bit so I said her name. Silence. A few seconds later she was like "yeah?". I brushed her hair back and just went for it, heart pounding. Kissed her for a second, pulled back.
As soon as I pulled back she launched into me and we started making out a lot. Didn't fuck her that night, and she did say I was a bad kisser, but I got better with practice. My lips were too stiff, my body was stiff, she could feel all of that. Me and her didn't last. Went on another date with a girl, she wasn't as hot or intimidating. Made out with her on the first date in my car. Was much better at kissing this time. More relaxed, let her bite my lip and pull it, wasn't sloppy. I was trying to get my tongue frenching her but she didn't respond with her tongue so I just let that go, kept kissing her.
Who cares if you get embarrassed here and there mang, there's only one way to get better at this shit and it's to do it.
Aaron Harris
If you don't want to fuck, you don't have to. Fucking takes a lot of effort and can be quite personal and intimate; if you don't want to share that with a stranger, that's fine.
Try and understand why you do/don't want to do whatever, and then consider explaining that to a girl if you end up in a relationship with someone.
She might take it easy, go down on you and that sort of the thing to warm you up to the act.
Ultimately, try not to build your expectations of behaviour and values from the media (EVERYONE IS FUCKING AND LOVING IT AND IT SOLVES EVERYTHING).
I feel similar to you but i'm okay with it, then again, I've had a girlfriend before and had sex so I've not got this issue with feeling like less of a man for being mid twenties and apathetic towards sex.
Andrew Davis
What the guys who are trying something usualy chat with you? I'm trying to collect data here.
I really want sex therapy, but it doesn't exist in my country. I think it's just a few people doing it in the US, most therapists don't want to get intimate with their clients I guess.
Yeah it was just a random hooker I got in Thailand a year ago, was just awkward overall. She wouldn't blow me, if she had done that I think it would have worked. The experience really wrecked me, I was planning to visit several hookers abd soapies to get used to it, but I couldn't make myself do it after that first experience.
Hookers are too expensive where I'm from especially if you want more than 30 mins. Also they all look absolutely disgusting, very porn like with fake tits and tattoos, and trust me I have looked at a hell lot of listings.
Being slightly embarassed is no problem, but no woman in her mid-twenties wants to teach a clueless guy everything. Your solution is probably the road I'm going to change at some point.
