How do you deal with your gf (or bf) wanting to spend alone-time with "friends" they have of the same gender...

How do you deal with your gf (or bf) wanting to spend alone-time with "friends" they have of the same gender? This is inside a monogamous hetrosexual relationship.

Attached: 717c35ad45f1467aa7e9109711f14eed--bad-quotes-truth-quotes.jpg (236x236, 7K)

I breathe a sigh of relief because I'm not the only source of emotional support and I can go hang out with my buddies. Seriously, embrace that shit. You need your own lives or you're going to kill each other.

Source: 14 years married, more than 20 together.

What if she only had male friends? And lots of them?

Bump.

up to you, but I don't deal with girls that have their own harem

This isn't the first time I have dealt with this. And it's the same "I click better with guys" type of reasoning. To me, it's basically wanting to date other guys too without the sexual aspect. How is that not true?

It'll be your fault if you end a relationship due to insecurity. Don't be so paranoid unless you have a real reason to question her disappearances.

How is it insecure to want a completely monogamous relationship? Even emotionally with others they're into.

?????
It's not insecure to want a monogamous relationship it is insecure thinking that just because she's going out to hang out with friends that she will cheat on you especially without any real basis to back that up.

I don't think it's ok to basically go on dates with friends of the other gender, when in a monogamous relationship. Same gender, fine, no problem.

I mean, if my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle. OP is talking about girls night. I'd be suspicious of anyone who exclusively had friends of the opposite gender, so I can't imagine I'd end up in a relationship with a woman like that.

You're asking if I'm worried about cheating. My wife has a few male friends. The trick is making sure everyone has their cards on the table. She's shown her loyalty, our relationship is strong, and theres not a guy she knows who doesn't realize that both she's going to confess and I'm not going to take it out on her. Being 6', 260, not fat, and known to carry a gun despite being a respectable professional with a line of letters after your name has some perks.

The post made sounds like it's just hanging out. user are you withholding information? If not, holy shit dude.

I'm OP, I was not talking about a girls night out at all. I was talking about a woman who has mostly male friends, and many.

You could argue having dinner 1 on 1 is just hanging out. But, it's also a date by definition too.

But it's not like that at all user, two adults can have a meal together without any deeper meaning. Are you 19?

When they're already friends and there is attraction or mutual attraction, it seems to me like the insecurity is within the other person who needs those dinners/dates.

Then why the fuck did you say
>wanting to spend alone-time with "friends" they have of the same gender
>"friends" they have of the same gender
>same gender

Work on clarity, fucko.

OK, you're right. I didn't check it. Having a rough night.

I meant, lots of friends of the opposite gender.

girls that have a bunch of guy friends is a big red flag.
she's either a slut or a cock tease and neither option is good.
personally I'm not cool with that. mixed company or girls only night outs are fine. I would probably be there if it's mixed company.

nice humble brag there, you sound insecure as fuck.
if your wife does cheat on you, why would you take it out on a random dude instead of the one that's supposed to be faithful to you?

I pretty much agree. And I view it as a a possible self esteem issue too.

I'd grow up and get over it. Those friends were there first and will probably be there after you. You knew what you were getting into when you got into the relationship. It's a big load of bullshit to roll on in and expect she just ditches everyone in her life to spend time with you.

Actually, I didn't know. It was never brought up. I never expected it to be a big problem, but it is now.

You should have asked. Again, you can deal with it or break up with her. Now you can learn a lesson about wanting to get to know someone's friends before dating them.

At the end of the day this is your insecurity, unless she's actually going on romantic dates, in which case you REALLY should have asked.

How is it insecure? Lookup the definition.

Sorry, I'm not trying to be too shitty, so I guess I should talk about how to "deal" with it, since that's what you asked. Take the time to get an opportunity to meet her friends. Realize that not every single one is fiending to fuck her. Realize that she's with you, not them, and there's probably a good reason for it.

If she's going to cheat on you with her friends she's introduced you to until you forbid her to see them, she was gonna cheat on you anyways man. It's like pretending your dog's favorite food is kibbles when you've never let them sniff a steak.

>Look it up
>(of a person) not confident or assured; uncertain and anxious.

That's you to a T. You're not confident that you are of value enough for her to be spending time with someone else.

Just have no friends like and date a girl who also has no friends like I am. Problem solved.

>can't have friends of the same gender or it isn't monogamous
What the fuck is wrong with you?

>How do you deal with your gf wanting to spend alone-time with "friends" they have of the same gender? This is inside a monogamous hetrosexual relationship.
This is good and healthy. Assuming she is heterosexual, you don't have anything to worry about, and you have some relief, and she has a vent to her friends if she has any issues with you, which they can help fix. There are a lot of these. Like, if she feels unattractive, she might not believe you, because you give her sex, but if her friends tell her the same, she'll have an easier time dealing with it, so you won't be pestered by it constantly.

There are a lot of these kinds of things. It's to the benefit of both of you.

>It was never brought up.
Because most non-autists assume everybody has friends. You don't need to say it.
>I never expected it to be a big problem
Well, since you are the problem, you know now. Just break up and work on yourself, don't try to make her friendless like you.

>it seems to me like the insecurity is within the other person who needs those dinners/dates.
>being social is now wrong and insecure
So it's insecure to go to company dinners as well?

Who cares.

Listen, buddy, you will never have a healthy relationship, if the only real contact you two have are each other. That's hard facts.

Sure you could be insecure about it, and definitely don't trust her 100% - but remember, that in the end, she is your girlfriend, she is with you, and fucking you. So out of all of her friends, whom she had before she met you, she chose you, and not them. If she wanted to fuck them, she would do so, and never bother with you.

>t. Girl who had 4 friends, 3 of them guys
I don't have them anymore due to moving far away, so these days it's exclusively gaming, but trust me, I would never have any kind of sexual intimacy, contact, or even flirting, with these guys. They were friends. What they want doesn't matter, they weren't getting it, and they knew it. If I was dating a guy, it should be obvious that they are not at all on my list of guys to fuck.

Girls are fucking awful when it comes to certain hobbies, and when it comes to gaming, guys are pretty much the only people I can realistically deal with, unless I want to play with someone who is garbage at the game. Trust me when I say, you know if the girl would do anything sexual with her friends. If you want the surest thing, make sure you know her sexual history. If she has had a lot of sexual partners, it is possible she has fucked her friends, because she is a loose slut anyway. If she hasn't, and has been very conservative about having sex, you are safe.