I met my wife in college, we were both 22 now we're 28.
She had a normal body and has always been very pretty. She is a journalist but has always danced ballet.
Recently (about 2 years) she has really gotten into fitness, yoga and other types of dancing like pole dancing and contemporary.
She toned her body much more, which i do like. She even got breast implants, which i also liked.
However, she has also started focusing so much on dancing. She wears completely revealing clothing nowadays, some of which just looks "trashy". It was a total change in the way she dresses, and every time i try to bring it up she gets mad, and claims i'm being an insecure sexist.
Today we had a huge argument. She told me beginning next week she will be performing with other girls at what essentially a "men's club", although there won't be nudity.
I told her it was off the the table for me.
She said she will do it anyways.
I love her very much, am i being unreasonable here? I feel like this is ridiculous, like how is this even up for discussion?
Pic related is literally the ads that show up on our pc from the type of clothes she is buying recently.
Issue with wife's clothing
Other urls found in this thread:
Ask for an annulment from the church.
Hahah, what a cuck. Yes, in her and her friends' minds you ARE a sexism. In reality, you're a cuck. Up an leave now before you lose any more value as a man.
>She told me beginning next week she will be performing with other girls at what essentially a "men's club",
What did you mean by this
This is total bait. No way it's real.
But for any other anons that stumble in here, remember always that honor is a male abstraction.
This is why you get a girl who dresses modestly from the get-go. The more you have to change the more the headache later.
What? Cant handle the thought of a strong, independent woman?
One day a week her dance studip will be performing a dance st what essentially is a strip club, although without nudity.
None of this is advice btw. No one here told me anything useful.
Pretty sure we told you to man up. Give her an ultimatum; either give up the strip club or give up the relationship. She'll probably pick the club over you since youre such a useless cuckold but oh well.
Show’s over, bruv. Walk away before you want to witness.
She wants to ride the cock carousel. She's getting tons of attention from other men right now, and she loves it.
You better end it now or you'll get even more hurt
What are some practical things i can say to convince her to not do this? Without getting a "you're sexist" reponse?
Pole dancing is bad news already.
But partner dancing, even worse imo. In partner dancing, like salsa, ballroom dancing, and such. There is the lead dancer and the follower. If you know the basics of social psychology, you can guess how those dynamics usually go.
One perk that dance teachers bring up what I've read online is that alot of their female students end up wanting to fuck.
She seems very set on going. As the others have mentioned, is give her an ultimatum. You have to stick to your guns afterwards, because any faltering will just prove to her that she can walk all over you. I'm sorry you gotta deal with this
you're essentially dating a stripper user.
dancing on men but no nudity becomes stripping becomes escorting.
You are not unreasonable. This is why it is vital that a woman be dependent on a man in every way. Too much free time, wrong kind of friends and no structure gives a gal crazy ideas.
This scenario sounds like a badly written cuck porn
>total change
Key word.
There ain't no stripper that would dedicate her time to ballet and contemporary. There is no serious dancer that would work at a mens club. These days pole dance is very athletic and artistic, so she could perform it.
This doesn't add up at all.
Relevant:
youtube.com
If you don't want to watch the whole video, just skip to points 5 to 8.
>taking advice from a viagra salesman
Commit kys
OP, your wife enjoys dancing. Support her. Be happy. Stop complicating shit.
theres no honor between men what are you talking about
>I told her it was off the the table for me.
>She said she will do it anyways.
You drew a line, she ignored it effortlessly. She doesn't respect you, and will not worry about crossing the next line. My advice, choose your route: couples therapy or a divorce lawyer.
Wow dude yeah you gotta bail she's BEEN escalating this shit and it's not gonna stop. She's trying to fill some void with this shit that you can't be responsible for.
I'm just gonna say I wrote this before reading the thread and wow everyone else in here is being a cunt. OP really, for your own sake and for the sake of whatever family you hope to cultivate one day. Dip out. Like I said earlier this behavior started with fitness, then pole dancing, now she wants to show off what she's earned in front of other men. What's she gonna do when Chad is in the class and puts the fucking moves on her dude? I don't mean to make your situation worse but I feel like you should cut your losses before she really hurts you. Because this hurts I wouldn't imagine it's easy for you but fuck user she's going to kick your back in at some point. Regular girls who feel fulfilled and secure don't take up fitness, get fake tits, learn to pole dance, and then find a way to grind on guys. People change user and it sounds like the girl you met when she was 22 has grown into someone you won't like much longer.
For what it's worth I'm really sorry this happened to you.
god I wish my gf dressed like that
Another angle:
Even if you're okay with it, there's no way your future will be okay.
Your future kids will have to live with the shame that their mother is a whore, and may even be bullied mercilessly in school. They'll develop various psychological issues in their most vulnerable time. All the other parents will judge her, and so will your own family & friends.
Even if you love her, even if you're okay with her new hobbies, there's no way you won't run into other rough patches. If even this much is a problem for you, it's only gonna get worse.
Sometimes I wish beating your wife was legal. Feelsbad
>I love you
>I want us to be together
>In order for me to accomplish this desire, I need you to help me feel like this is something you also want
>I feel like the way you have been acting, and the things you have been doing do not make me hopefull that this is the case
>Do not interupt me, I am still talking
>I also need you help me feel like this is an okay thing to do in our relationship because I do not feel like it is
>If these needs are not met there are going to be serious problems in our marriage and I don't want that
Make sure you record the conversation faggot.
he might as well show her the divorce papers
Probably better for him in the long run if she signs them. If she don't respect his feelings then what choice does he have?
Wow tha is terrible advice
>not being proud to be around such a strong and talented woman
>not going to gentleman’s club as an audience member and driving her home afterwards
>not realizing that even tho she has options she still chose you
>Not going to the men's club and seducing the stripper in front of everyone and taking her home.
>dating a journalist
>dating a liberal propagandist
>dating a liberal propagandist who swallowed the muh sexism pill
>probably didn't show her enough validation or whatever and she's turned into a liberal propagandist who swallowed the muh sexism pill and seeks out male validation from males other than her husband
No kids? 6 years married and no kids? She's 28 she's about to hit the wall she's looking for a male that fills her needs physically, emotionally and biologically.
If you stop being a cuck you can get more fit and start going for girls who are younger and prettier than her. Leave her she has no respect for you and not without good cause either.
Honestly? Divorce her.
What are you sticking around for? She clearly doesn't respect you or your marriage. Any monogamous relationship depends on both people respecting each other and their relationship. Going to dance in a strip club is not respecting a relationship. I don't know, maybe if you guys were dirt poor and she saw this as a way to make some quick cash to pull you out of the shitter, maybe I could understand, but this is just pure hedonism and decadent behavior masked under the veneer of a "strong" and "independent" woman, when in fact it's just her acting out on her basest impulses. I'm sure you have those as well, the occasional stray thought of indulging some flirting on the side or groping a chick or maybe fucking someone else, but you probably resist that and that's how you respect your marriage.
She just shat all over you and you're waiting for someone to deliver a God-sent miracle that will completely rework her personality and turn her all around into being someone who loves and respect you. That's not possible, I'm afraid.
Look around for a local divorce lawyer, see what your options are and get the papers filed. You've sadly lost this one, but hey, not all women out there are vapid cunts like your wife.
Roasty or bootlicking soiboi detected
Either way kys
Lmfao you men are literal pieces of shit. Let her do whatever the fuck she wants. Shes her own person you fucking chodes.
t. fat and lonely roastie
it's called being respectful of your partner.
If she does all this with no consideration for you at all, it means she doesn't respect you. If she wants to do stripping (no nudity.... yet) she wants attention from other men. And you can bet your ass she wants sex with other men.
Dump her.
A sexist cuck. Interesting.
If other things havent changed yet I wouldnt divorce her.
If around the same time she became a trashy Sloot you suddenly bang way less or not at all, and shes suddenly way more cold, and no longer affectionate then yeah, shes either cheating on you or about to.
>what essentially is a strip club
>although without nudity
So it's not a strip club at all. What kind of place is it really?
What the fuck.
Roastie detected
it’s his fucking wife. There is nothing OK about her sexualizing herself for other men.
Using that word unironically. Lol.
I agree. Pole dancing today branched to so many non-sexual themes like arts and sports, it is a deliberate choice to pick exotic dancing.
oh boy, the clothing is not the issue OP. Your wife is an exhibitionist and wants to show off her body. That "mens club" hires women for display and play.
Your wife knows exactly what this is and why she's doing it and she simply doesn't care if you like it or not. Your decision is to shut up and accept it or leave.
Then why hasn't she invited you to watch her perform at the "mens club" or is it a private club
>performing with other girls
so its amateur night at the strip club and there is plenty of tits and ass
No, a skinny tranny. Nice try though but you're guessing skills are off.
This guy has no balls, just like me. She will walk all over him and he deserves it cause apparently this guy is so lame that she would rather fuck off from him to get away for fun for a bit than stick around with his boring ass. Cannot blame her one bit. If he wants her around he needs to make her want it. Him. His dick. He needs to dress her up like the whore she wants to be and fuck her relentlessly otherwise it's over already brotato
Let me clarify some things:
The place is not a strip club, it's like a boudoir/burlesque type place where shows can have nudity or not.
I have been invited. I just don't see a reason to go.
Divorce is also 100% not happening.
I will try to speak about it again today and update. Or no update, but regardless thanks for opinions.
Go watch and have fun. The end.
she's been walking all over him for years. Like her getting a tit job in her early twenties should have been a tip something was going on with her and the stupid fuck ignored it
>divorce is also 100% not happening
These are cuckoldry levels that shouldnt be possible. Holy FUCK
>I just don't see a reason to go.
You are wrong. You should go and see what this is all about and just maybe your concern evaporates or if you should be concerned. Shes going to do this if you stay home and sulk or go and pretend to like it.
> I just don't see a reason to go.
Is that's your answer OP? Is that's what you say when she tells you that she is gonna be doing a sexy dance half naked in front of hundreds of drunk men who want to fuck her?
You may continue with her or you may not, but the relationship dies the moment she does this dance. Then you can pretend the relationship is alive for many years, just like The Walking Dead characters that keep their loved ones around even years after they becomed zombies. Feeding them, talking to them, pretending they are someone they'll never be again.
How I would explain your standpoint to her is roughly this:
"We entered into a monogamous relationship, which means we only engage in a sexual relationship with eachother. At this show you are doing there is a highly sexual element. It's not as clear cut as physical cheating but there is a sexual element to your interaction with the audience and that goes against what we agreed to when we entered into a monogamous relationship. I understand that you feel different, but if you can't see it from my perspective then as far as I'm concerned our monogamous relationship is over. Is there a compromise we can come to that meets both our needs?"
Try to open up the discussion and be understanding but keep firm on the fact that the show is sexual and monogamy does not permit sexual acts with other people
So you don't trust your gf enough to wear more revealing clothes? I feel like her clothes are not the problem here.
I would be interested to know who is the head witch in this coven and decided this the best forum for the women to strut their stuff? How many of the women are married and how they all laughed and discussed what to tell their husbands. I get having a show after all the prep and practice but a "mens club" goddamn. Anyway, tip for every man. If they are taking pole dance class they will perform and the reason they do it.
What this guy said, OP. Explain it to her in plain words and give her the same decision that she already made once when she decided not to care about anything you said, only much more clearly.
Make it clear that you're uncomfortable about this enough that you won't bend on it, and that you're leaving if she won't at least make a token effort to respect the way you feel about it.
Relationships are ALWAYS two way streets. If this is a deal breaker for you and she's dead set on it, then she shouldn't be surprised when the deal is broken.
It isn't the job of a man to corral irresponsible, frivolous behavior if he wants his girl to pay attention.
She either has self control and self respect or she doesn't. Its not something you can put into somebody by "making them want your dick".
well put but something tells me the thot won't understand
Like other’s have said. You’ve given the ultimatum. You must stick by it.
If she doesn't understand when it's put that simply then she ain't worth the time
This is a good reason on it's own why you shouldn't get married that young, especially to a girl that close to your age. That's neither here nor there though OP. Now you can rationalize this behavior anyway you want but from an unbiased lense, this is not normal behavior from a confident adult woman. This might be an unpopular opinion but in any case in a long term relationship, developing any kind of out of character new hobby or joining a new subculture that excludes the other partner that late in an relationship is always a red flag. Even ignoring everything else, you confronted your life partner, the woman you love, the person you are supposed to be able to talk to like an adult and level with and told her your feelings and concerns and she completely rebuffed you, she wouldn't even attempt to talk to you on the matter like an adult, she decided this new hobby was more important than any concern or issue you take with it so much that she didn't even feel it was worth giving you the time of day. She obviously has something she is compensating for and she feels it is more important than your relationship, like I said before, this is not normal behavior from a rational adult, when your spouse starts engaging in red flag behavior like this and tries to walk all over you when you confront them about the issue, it's time to abandon ship, it's a slippery slope and you might as well leave with your pride intact because this will likely not end in her stopping at this weird hobby. Yes ending things now is going to hurt but what's going to hurt more? You throwing in the towel on your own terms with your dignity and pride intact or you finding out she has been cheating on you with a dude from her "dance club" when her lawyer hands you the divorce papers?
I like how nobody in this thread asked OP to define precisely what his idea of "revealing" or "trashy" is. Lets just take the Jow Forums user's word on what is and isn't appropriate clothing I suppose....
Once this is all over you should take some time off work, get things straight in your head and try to figure yourself out, the good news is that you're 28, you're in your prime and there's still really good potential for finding a pretty girl who won't do stupid shit like this to you. Get fit, learn from this experience and gain some more self confidence and move forward.
>wife wants to pursue something she enjoys and is good at
>user tells her she's not allowed, and wonders why she's so mad
>doesn't even consider going to the club to cheer her on
No wonder she's pissed at you.
he literally posted a pic that he said is the kind of stuff she's getting in his first post. are you retarded?
>he literally posted a pic that he said is the kind of stuff she's getting in his first post
Is that what he said? Or did he say that the OP is a picture of the automatically generated ads that show up on his computer based on the websites she browses? L2READ buddy boy.
>OP posts pic related image to be illustrative
>"WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HE MEANS!!"
fucking autistic.
We literally don't know what he means because he hasn't explained it. We have one picture of one ad from his computer. I'm interested in giving solid advice based on actual information, not the collective assumptions of a bunch of spergs who are just looking for any loose excuse they can find to shit talk women. Maybe OP's anger is completely justified, I don't know. Nobody does. The style of clothing, the quality of their relationship and the context she wears them in are all important information and we have none of that information.
>OP states that wife is wearing more revealing clothing in public, during hobbies, and soon for work
>states that pic related due to the clothes being similar to what she purchases
>OH BUT WHAT KIND OF REVEALING CLOTHING IS IT EXACTLY? WE CAN'T HELP UNTIL WE KNOW
I love how you genuinely think you're being insightful and getting to heart of the matter that no one else is seeing, when it's really you just being retarded about a point that 60+ before you clearly understood because it's staring them in the face.
I wrote a pretty long text but deleted it.
Some people gave solid advice.
So for people saying i should go and support her, i usually do, this is just too far for me and it's literally the one thing i ever stepped in and said "hey, i'm not into this".
That's an ad that came up on my feed from stores she shops at. She has bought dresses and other clothes very similar to that. They are noticibly shorter and more revealing.
Look we otherwise have a great relationship i can't explian the depth of a 6 year relationship on Jow Forums and expect to be ubderstood, which is why divorce is out of the question.
I just really want to convince her to tone it down.
dude, you've already expressed your distaste for what's going on and she threw it back at you with the "you're jealous/insecure" and how you're holding her back from having fun
you can explain to her how you've been supportive of her healthy lifestyle changes, how she's more active, how she took up something like pole dancing and you never batted an eye. you gotta stand up for yourself and tell her that you're setting boundaries/drawing the line at her sharing herself with other men when you two are in a monogamous relationship. just cause she's not fucking these dudes (yet) doesn't mean it isn't making you uncomfortable and is bordering cheating.
There's a reason behind your wife's changes. To me it sounds like stuff has happened that led to her change as a person. Perhaps she experienced something, perhaps she went through an age crisis thing, perhaps her friends introduced her to a new way of thinking. Regardless, the ship has sailed. You should had been improving along with her and shown backbone before she had options. Currently it's only a matter of time before this marriage is through. Get fit while you can.
>journalist
>calls you sexist
You went dumpster diving or something?
Go to the show and be happy for her if it's nothing special. If it is too revealing for your taste express your concerns. If she continues do something about it so she sees you're hurt.
yrah its because shes an alpha now but u are still a beta since u dont go to gym regurarly and she is tempted to find an alpha, which is normal biology.
So what u can do is start going to gym or weight lifting and man up or get very rich or suckit up like a cuck and divorce in a few years
> "You're sexist"
The only proper answer to this shit is "I don't fucking give a shit what you call me. Do you want to be with me or not?"
Hello, friend. I'm not married and your 6 year old relationships is way longer than mine so take what I say with salt. There's no coming back from this. An initial response would be to show her how it feels but this opportunity is afforded to her by her gender so there's no compromise to be made in terms of understanding.
She doesn't seem willing to understand your point of view and she is convinced that there is no way you could understand hers. So she's committed to this no matter what you say. If you give her an ultimatum, you're the bad guy. If you try to convince her otherwise, you're the bad guy.
The big question is why she feels the need to do these "progressive" things, like going pole dancing, getting a boob enhancement surgery, wearing skimpy outfits, etc. You just happened to go along with it so its not your approval or validation she's seeking. So who is she trying to impress? Her friends? Other guys?
I know marriage is (currently) beyond my comprehension and i know that the divorce process is long and arduous but, in this specific spot you're in, there's nothing you can do or say that can change her mind. You'll just have to wait it out and try and explain it to her again. If it doesn't work out, you're fucked, my guy.
Sure, she can do whatever she wants. And so can he. Such as fucking divorcing the dumb cunt.
Not to mention, OP got married really young. She didn't have a chance to explore the promiscuity that comes with being a young adult before OP locked her ass down in a relationship.
> not gonna go to the club
> no matter what not going to go see what is even happening
> absolutely 100% no divorce
Then what the fuck are you even asking about?
She’s married though. When you marry someone you enter a partnership. One flesh. You work with your partner and make decisions together you are not your own person anymore. Don’t like it don’t get married
t. Woman who actually understands what a marriage involves
>dress like a whore
>started pole dancing
>ask to stop
>claims i'm being an insecure sexist.
Drop her, it's only going to get worse and theres a 100% chance she will cheat on you.
This isn’t OP right? This is a troll pretending to be OP? Or is it OP trolling? It just can’t be real. Where do you draw the line with your girl? You fucking cuck
Dump he-
oh wait, you married her. Fucking L O L
You should divorce her while you still have the chance to find a new woman. No partner should ever give you shit like being an "insecure sexist": that is a sign that she does not value your opinion, nor respect your person or your wishes. Ideally, your woman should hang on to your every word, like a daughter to her father, or a student to her professor. She can still be intelligent and independent, but if she exhibits such behaviour as your wife, you should bail asap.
Don't just divorce her like that, though. Build your case up and slowly stow your money away; make sure to quietly remove her from any contracts etc. When it comes to it, record the conversation so that she can't lie and accuse you of some misconduct to get more money out of you.
All extremely valid
>i'm being an insecure sexist.
Sure sounds that way.
Probably just a troll or OP is a master baiter
>She wears completely revealing clothing nowadays, some of which just looks "trashy". It was a total change in the way she dresses, and every time i try to bring it up she gets mad, and claims i'm being an insecure sexist.
This is the moment you failed the shit test and she realized she could walk all over you and get all the extramarital male attention she ever wanted.
Point eight is spot on though. Women hate being judged by their own peers and one of the ways they avoid that is simply by hanging out with people that won't judge them. If she's bailing on her friends to hang out with new friends combined with her new behavior it's absolutely reason to worry.
dress like a gigolo and either become based chad stacey couple or have her realize why you don't like it and change her ways
Couples therapy?
This, don't get cucked by the judicial system. Take the time to stow away as much as you can and consult a lawyer privately if you can.
> My new dress can fit in an empty pack of cigarettes XD
> I want you to come and see me whoring around user
> It'll be so much fun user, lots of real men hitting on me while you stand and watch
> Oh user, you're so sexist, you don't accept I'm an empowered womyn
Do you even have a limit user? Is there a limit to the amount of shit you're willing to take?
How is this BS doing? Updates?
I'm guessing OP talked to his stripper wife who told him he needs to get in line, and now he's too much of a pussy to explain to internet autists he accepted his fate.
>going pole dancing, getting a boob enhancement surgery, wearing skimpy outfits
There is only one reason for this. Attention from other men. Period
>told him he needs to get in line
yeah at the end of the line
im not gonna date a whore
im not gonna marry a whore
if the one I married turns out to be a whore ill get a divorce
OP please.. she enjoys attention and wants fat old men to fap to her body when they get back home. Shes not doing it for you, we all agree its a bad hobby. The only reason I can think of is that your acknowledgement wasnt enough for her. Thats the same shit you see on instagram, but next level. Got off the ship before it sinks
The clothing isn't nearly as much of an issue as her attitude about "Well, I'm doing it anyway whether you like it or not." This is generally the sign that a relationship is nearly over if she continues to disregard your opinion as her other half.
>Give her an ultimatum
I swear the only people that recommend this have never tried it. The only way it would possibly work is if you held something of great value to her that she can't get through a divorce settlement. And even then, if the relationship has gotten to that point where you have to resort to such tactics, there's been a serious breakdown in the amount of respect she has for you and the relationship is over regardless so you might as well leave with some pride because she is not going to accept your ultimatum and magically change her wicked ways for more than the 6 hours it takes her to think of 'Plan B'. They never do.