Rape fetish

So when i was 17 i was drinking with some dudes at party. Im white dude they were all black. We had a great time, talked about sports and all kind of other dude stuff.

I was really drunk and really close to passing out. Long story short it went south really fast.

They made me suck them off at the same time one of them were trying to stick hes dick in me.

I felt helpless and weak. They were choking me, fucking me and calling me names. It was like pure hell for me and i passed out.

Next morning i woke up with condom full with seman in my but. And dried up cum all over my face and chest and ass.

I saw those guys next day. They called me their bitch, i couldnt even look at them i felt sick and i ran away.

Now over 4 years later i have developed this weird rape fetish. When i remember that night my heart starts to pump and my dick gets hard and i feel like i want to get raped again. Its sick and disgusting when i think about it logically, but when in the moment im okay with it.

Worst thing is that im stright... at least i think so. I cant stop thinking about gang rape scernarious.

I have a gf and i havent told her any of this. Im afraid she will leave me.

Does anyone else had this type of situation?
To woman: what would be your reaction if your bf told you about being raped and developing rape fetish?

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Haha excellent bait

I dont know about dudes, but my ex had this problem. All thought it as a bit different. She was raped by her step dad when she was in her teen tears. So she loved that i choke her and be very rough with her.

All thought the weird part is that, he would rape her in the ass. She was categorically AGAINST anal sex. Even when i just suggested that it would be fun to try out she wen full crazy mode. Attacked me, yelled and run away, and cried A LOT!

You need therapy. And to try and work things out. Your brain is trying to turn something traumatic into something good because it doesn't know how to process what you went through.

If your girlfriend loves you and is mature and understanding then she will stick by you as you try and heal. Not everyone is prepared to be that person however.

I don't recommend you indulge your fetish. Re-traumatizing yourself will only make it harder to recover. Best of luck.

I'm a woman so if my boyfriend told me this I would be hurt on his behalf, and maybe a bit insecure about my place in your life. She might wonder if she is not enough to satisfy you sexually and if this will make you leave her for a man or multiple me. Personally I would try my best to get over my issues to help him. But that's just me.

If she is gonna kink shame you for that she's not worth it, hell she might be into it and go full dominatrix style and peg you while holding your weak ass down, white boi

Interesting. Thanks for sharing. I too had these emotional outbursts not long after the incident. But it went a way after year or so. Now it has turned into a fetish.

>I don't recommend you indulge your fetish.
Thats the hard part. When im horny my mind goes STRAIGHT to that even. I know im not gay (not that there anything wrong with it), but its just hard.

I love my gf and she loves me, but shes also a sub in our sex life. I dont know if she want a guy who has these kind of fantasies or trauma.

Shes the only thing good that has ever happened to me so i dont want to risk loosing her, but at the same time i dont want to live with this secret.

Shes a sub so i dont think so. Also i dont know if i want to normalize this stuff id rather get rid of it. but i dont see a way to do it.

I say not to indulge because of personal experience. I was molested for years and I had developed an age play fetish. After so long of feeling sick and disgusted with myself because of my desires. I decided to no longer indulge myself and instead work on the trauma.

It's hard because it's a strong part of your mind but trust me it's worth it. Also don't let sexual Dynamics dictate your relationship.

My bf had similar fantasies, but the difference is that he wasnt raped. He just developed this fetish from interracial porn and maybe cuck porn.

I was weirded out to say the least. But since i dont mind to be domninant in bed sometimes, we tried strap on and other kinky stuff. Once we also got male escort. Big tall black guy, we both got fucked by him and i think i enjoyed it. If you had asked me if id ever do something like that with my bf before i met him, i would have said "NO", but not im glad that i did it. Open mind and exploring sexuality can be very rewarding for your personality.

>what would be your reaction if your bf told you about being raped and developing rape fetish?

Rape part would be definitely a big deal for me. Not that i shame rape victims, but i dont think males can really be raped like females can. But i wouldn't care about fetish, as long as it wouldn't interfere with our relationship.

Wouldnt it just be easier to go with it till you die? I think it would be easier to just drop the shame par since we live in 2019 where sexual fetishes are normal.

Its such a strong impulse that i have wondered about cheating on her with a guy on craigslist, but i dont want to hurt her.

Would it really be that bad for me to just accept it?

>but i dont think males can really be raped like females can
What do you mean by this? Man can be raped too you know!

For your mental health in the long run? Not a good plan. Especially because of the mention of feeling disgusted because of the fantasy.

Not really. They cant get pregnant and they dont have vaginas. They also have nothing to lose. Raped woman lose all her status and self respect.
I dont see what raped man loses. Nothing is my guess. So i dont think this is a big deal at all.

I just love how stupid you are. Like, the poster child for abortions and why people should have them.

Okay thats just like your opinion...
This

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Specifically staying in line with the examples you mentioned, a man risks getting hiv and men often feel out of touch with their masculinity after getting raped, emasculated.

Someone doing something after you explicitly show you don't want them to would in any case at all be a source of anger, even if the thing they're doing is clicking a pen, because it's disrespect. They hear you and they don't give a fuck. Experiencing that but while someone is touching, no, using YOUR body, your safe haven, the only thing you have that you thought no one could take away from it, that's traumatizing for many people regardless of gender, orientation, anything at all.

I had very similar situation, yet different. When i was in middle school after sport lesson some of bigger black boys slapped by ass and called me a bitch. Asked if i want to suck them off. It ended with that, but i kinda loved that. The humiliation and domination aspect. I have fapped so many time thinking about them taking me.So i would say just accept it and enjoy it.

>masculinity
Masculinity is toxic so the less of it the better. Non of your mentioned things really make man rape as serious as woman rape. Not even close.And you can get HIV in many different ways, we are talking about rape itself.

Also as OP proves, man seem to enjoy it afterwards.

>Masculinity is toxic so the less of it the better. Non of your mentioned things really make man rape as serious as woman rape. Not even close.And you can get HIV in many different ways, we are talking about rape itself.
Thats just retarded.

>Also as OP proves, man seem to enjoy it afterwards.
It might be true for me (at least the fetish part), but i doubt that its true for majority of man.

>Also as OP proves, man seem to enjoy it afterwards.
Read up a little on rape before making bold claims about it. Developing a sexual obsession with what happened, sometimes to the point of wanting to reenact it later in life, is very common. This is a psychological defense mechanism where the events made you feel so powerless and victimized that it feels good to reimagine them in a way that you DO have control over, unlike the real events. Even if you fantasize about being raped you effectively choose what happens and how it ends and that can be healing in a weird way. This is also why many kids who are abused as a kid end up being hypersexual at some point later in life, they want to overwrite the bad experiences, drown them out with more sex.

>Thats just retarded.
Nice argument
>Developing a sexual obsession with what happened, sometimes to the point of wanting to reenact it later in life, is very common.
You say it as if its a bad thing. Its good that man can enjoy it after being raped, but woman dont have such a luxury. We are judged by society all the time.

When he says that it is very common he means that it happens for women all the time too you fucking mongoloid.

You act like women having rape fantasies isn't normalized. Yes, I do believe women are scrutinized more for their sexual choices but not a lot of men have an issue with women who like simulated rape

When woman gets raped its much much more harsher than if man gets raped. Thats my point and thats the truth.

Im not saying that man dont feel bad after it or that they are not victims, but cmon. They are FAR from being as victimized as woman are victimized in this sexist society.

I bet that your sexist ass dont even believe that masculinity is sexist!

> fucking mongoloid
First of all im white not Asian and secondly youre also racist. What a surprise. Let me guess you voted for Drump, eh?

Okay i get your argument and i fully agree that our society is pretty sexist towards woman. Especially when it comes to rape, but its hard for man too.

Then again, maybe im just blind and cant empathize enough to see the truth.

>Then again, maybe im just blind and cant empathize enough to see the truth.
BINGO!
Also remember the fact that woman cant rape anyone while man can rape everyone. Now you see the problem?
Man are the aggressors especially while males. So maybe that was karma that got you for being white male.

Imagine being this delusional and lacking in empathy.
Jesus Christ.

Masculinity isn't inherently sexist.

As far as I know the basics of masculinity are strength both emotional and physical, dependability, resourcefulness, and responsibility.

These are masculine virtues so to speak and are not sexist in and of themselves. What is sexist is the idea that these virtues can't be expressed in personally unique ways and that masculinity can only be expressed in one way.

>Like to be raped by black males
>Gets put in place by bitchy sexist feminazi
Current state of white man.
>So maybe that was karma that got you for being white male.

Shut the fuck up you dumb bitch. I bet you yourself have rape fantasies. Want to be raped by that Jamal cock, eh?

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Wow. You have an amazing talent talking through your asshole, seeing as all you seem to say is shit

That’s not safe for work, nudity or not.

>Imagine being this delusional and lacking in empathy.
Oh yeah man are killers, rapists, warmongers and sexists. And you wanna tell me that i lack empathy?
>Masculinity isn't inherently sexist.
It is rotten to the core. Femininity is pure and clean. Dont forget that these days woman are the ones who rise kids AND are the ones who are the bread earners in family. While man just jack off, sit on couch and do nothing. Like parasites.

>Want to be raped by that Jamal cock, eh?
Even if i do its my and only my choice.

This is Jow Forums board not kinder garden. Most threads are about sexuality, suicide or deep depression. Non of those are SFW when you think about it.

I have concluded that you are just trying to role people up. I find it hard to believe someone is actually this fucking stupid.

If you are actually this stupid, send me your address so I can another you and put everyone out of your misery. You horrible cunt.

Who cares what little entitled small cock white male has to say. Deep down you know that youre so racist and sexist cause you are insecure about your small cock.

Or sorry about the spelling mistakes. I want to smother you if you are actually stupid enough to believe what you are typing.

Threats of violence. Best example how aggressive and low intelligence males are. Instead of presenting an argument you want to kill me. Typical white male.

I would like to inform you that you know absolutely nothing about me. I do happen to know that you shouldn't be allowed to access the internet or sharp scissors since your developmental challenges make it hard to trust you with your own safety. Just ring in the orderlies to while your ass already. Personally I think we should fly you to the Midwest and just let you die of exposer.

I wouldn't exactly describe smothering as violent. Just don't fight it. Relax and let nature take it's course.

You a bitch and Gay..you love sucking dicks.Don't you you bitch...

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Oh boo. It relieves stress and I can't sleep. Let me have my fun.

Not particularly. Unless i have the urge of being dominated. I dont think im gay cause i find my gf to be sexy and attractive. I dont find man to be attractive, i just sometimes have the urge, thats all.

If you can afford it. Try therapy. Until then, don't do anything to make yourself feel worse. If you know you'll regret it after then probably not do it.

Am i the only female who finds this kinda sexy in very weird sense? I feel guilty about it, tho.

>To woman: what would be your reaction if your bf told you about being raped and developing rape fetish?

Well i would help him relax and be himself. If i loved him i would be okay with hes fetishes. I have my fetishes so I would accept hes fetishes.

Have you tried prostate massage or anything like that to release the tension?

>go to party full of niggers
>get buttraped
You got what you deserved for fraternizing with subhumans. Bravo. Also, get tested.

A fetish is a fetish but I feel like I am the only person making a case for mental health. A gang rape fantasy isn't equal to a spanking fetish.

I think the focus should be on getting help.

Yes. Ever since i got this fetish i do that too. Honestly it feels amazing. If you havent felt prostate orgasm then you cant even imagine the level of pleasure it gives. But any way thats besides the point.

I live in South Africa, blacks are everywhere.

I view it like this - rape fantasy is not bad if you view your self in a victims place. IF you had rape fantasies where you rape people then yeah that would be dangerous, but not this case.

Its purely about should i accept it and embrace it or should i somehow cure it. And weather i should tell my gf about it.

The image has to be SFW user. There is little to no SFW text content on this site.

>I live in South Africa
Then you should unironically get tested.

Also, shame on you. You should have known better if you grew up in a country like that.

>You should have known better if you grew up in a country like that.
Well yeah, i guess. I have heard stories about blacks raping whites. For example my classmate when we were 15 was put in jail for DUI. He had to sleep the night there. He was brutally raped by all other inmates.

But these were not jail type people they were maybe a bit older,m but normal type of blacks. Also in school they always taught us not to discriminate and always be friendly with blacks.

>I have heard stories about blacks raping whites.
Thats just racist talk. Propaganda made by white racists. If you live in SA you should be thankful that blacks dont kick you out. Some guys touched you, so what? you did turn it into a fetish after all so its a benefit for you after all. Enjoy the gift.