ITT: Ask the Opposite Gender Anything

emo Ted

Yes

How should I bring up to a girl the "me or him" ultimatum? It's a pretty fucked situation

>Have friend with benefits
>We sleep together anywhere from 3 to 5 times a week
>Outside of sex she barely shows interest in me
>Replies texts with things like "nice" "ok" idk" "cool" "awh" "idc"
>The ONLY time she talks to me is to ask for sex
>Feel used and heartbroken
>But can't refuse sex because I have feelings for her and the sex is amazing

At one point I did ask her if she had ANY feelings at all for me, and all she did was smile and say "user, I wouldn't want to hurt you" and that was it

So what now?

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Decide what's more important, your feelings or the sex. There's no right answer here, just remeber whatever you pick is your choice. You are responsible for the consequences.

Why are guys so insecure that they take it out on me? I'm not responsible for how they feel and their own actions and choices but theu act like I am.

Ask yourself why only unstable guys spend time with you. Stable guys exist, but there must be a reason they avoid you.

>been with girl for about a month (I'm 20, she's 18)
>says she's not ready for an "official" relationship yet, but when I asked if we're exclusive she said "I'd never cheat on you user"
>wants me to have dinner with her parents tomorrow
>today she and her dad went to pick out holiday destinations and she asked if I'd like to go with them

Couple questions here:

>what's the point of not having an official relationship and then inviting me to dinner with her parents (and the holiday, but I had to reject that because I don't have enough money to go to the Dominican Republic for a week, I'm poor, and I don't want her rich parents to pay for it)?

>I know her parents will want to pay for dinner tomorrow. Do I insist in paying my share, or should I let them pay?

>Do you think having sex will leave her more comfortable for a real relationship? We've already fooled around plenty of times, including oral, but no actual penetrative sex yet

That's a really poor and unfair assumption to make. I don't understand how you can act like giving advice is equal to making assumptions.

Anyone else?

27 Year old female here, I can do my best to answer some of these things

>what's the point of not having an official relationship and then inviting me to dinner with her parents?

She's testing the waters and still deciding whether or not she wants to pursue her feelings for you, this is common in younger girls

>I know her parents will want to pay for dinner tomorrow. Do I insist in paying my share, or should I let them pay?

Insist on splitting the bill and pay for your own stuff

>Do you think having sex will leave her more comfortable for a real relationship? We've already fooled around plenty of times, including oral, but no actual penetrative sex yet

She sounds scared and unsure, don't push her for full on sex, just be there for her, be close to her, be a good close and understanding friend, smile a lot and act happy around her and she'll let you know when she wants to be in a full on relationship

You got this, remain confident and happy and positive.

But it's the truth. If you find all men are super insecure, maybe it's because you hang out with insecure men.

My advice is: Look at yourself and the people around you. See if you can do anything about the toxic atmosphere that surrounds you.

That's kinda vague. When women are present, they are responsible for a lot of choices men make. What are these insecurities and how is it taken out on you?

>what's the point of not having an official relationship and then inviting me to dinner with her parents
she's not ready yet, take it step by step, but she's putting the last step tomorrow. So she will be ready for an official relationship tomorrow

>I know her parents will want to pay for dinner tomorrow. Do I insist in paying my share, or should I let them pay?
offer them to pay for the drinks

>Do you think having sex will leave her more comfortable for a real relationship? We've already fooled around plenty of times, including oral, but no actual penetrative sex yet
no, see

I'm trying to get over my fear of rejection. I read in the FAQ that I should try practicing and exposing my self to it a little but the problem is i don't have any idea how to practice or expose myself to it. Anyone have any ideas?

All men are intimidated by me.
Random men in public doing their own thing no, but as soon as they have any interaction with me they get shy or flirty or whatever. I am not as far as I know in any way intimidating..When I ended up dating guys they treat me well until they start to think I can do better, get insecure, and take it out on me. Then it backfires and they emotionally breakdown. Like... I don't choose these people to surround myself with, it annoys me. I've talked to gius with high confidence, good careers, popular, tall, attractive, any sort of thing but it is always there in the end. And I don't think I am better than them. Actually one time.I was honesty on a low confidence period of life and ended up with someone more into themselves and showing me off. So the times I have been confident they aren't like that and seem put off that someone like me would even want them.

Whatever I don't know how to explain it.
I have just been taking a break from it all and focusing on myself, my goals, my happiness, my future.

Riddle me this, Jow Forums

I follow two girls on Instagram. Both of them lead good social lives, etc, but:

>Girl 1
>Has a pretty face and is quite photogenic, but is also chubby, definitely not the body of a supermodel
>600+ followers
>Every photo gets at least 40 likes, even body shots

>Girl 2
>Genuine stunner, at least an 8/10, has a perfectly slim body, steals every photo she's in and is objectively very good looking
>Not even 200 followers
>The only pictures that reach over 20 likes are ones where she's with her boyfriend

Do men just have low standards?

That's the problem.
Women are not responsible for what choices men take. Are they not their own person? Did I force them to do anything? No. Men should take their own responsibility then. I think this better clears up what I meant though.

>boyfriend
Why does this need to be explained to you

>All men are intimidated by me.

Always rememver to add "that I know".

>All men that I know are intimidated by me.

And again, ask yourself where you get these men and why they are all manchildren. Why would only manchildren hang out with you?

> Like... I don't choose these people to surround myself with

Yes you do. They way you live your life, the places you go to, the friends you have, the way you act, all those things make up the kind of poeple that spend time with you. So owe it up.

How do I find a femdom sizequeen gf? The overlap is smaller than you'd expect.
I guess this might be a bit of a humblebrag, sorry.

If your real life is like your ability to communicate in writing, we may have found a problem.

Thank you for your replies, that makes me feel a bit more reasurred about all this

This is why I knew it was pointless to continue with you. You don't read and you make assumptions because once again, you want to blame women for how men behave.

I'm over this pointless discussion.
Don't reply unless you decide to read thoroughly..Like explain how it is that I know every random person on the street and how I chose to randomly be approached by them? Men should own up. I didn't even do anything except exist. Why is my existing such an issue?

Women:

So my ex dumped me 5 months ago. We were going out for a year. We never really fought and got along well. We used to be really good friends since we were kids before the relationship.

For the past three months, she has been spying on snapchat stories, despite not being friends on there. So she has to manually look me up when I post public stories (I post public stories for work related reasons). It seems that she has been doing this daily for the past three months, hardly missing a post.

I also heard she's always talking negatively about me. (cry me a river lol)

So I'm curious and I also don't get it. Why is she soo hung up on spying on me daily and talking negatively about me 5 months after we broke up? We haven't spoken at all since the break up and I thought we ended it maturely.

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>You don't read and you make assumptions because once again, you want to blame women for how men behave.

When did I talk about "women"? I'm talking about you, specifically. Men can surround themselves with toxic women, too. This is not gendered.

>Like explain how it is that I know every random person on the street and how I chose to randomly be approached by them?

So, you think every single men is insecure and hates you for existing? That soundsl ike paranoia to me.

My answer to your question is that only the insecure men actually pursue you after talking with you. So you never get to know the good ones. Because the good ones have better things to do than you.

You literally just said and I quote

>"When women are present, they are responsible for a lot of choices men make. "

No they aren't.
You made a state and I disagreed.
Communication couldn't be more clear.

Ask out someone you barely know.

Why do most women wear thongs and not granny panties? If I was a woman I’d be wearing those all the time. I’m a guy and I find them way more sexier, thongs are just a piece of string with a bit of fabric

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>I'm trying to get over my fear of rejection.

Where does it come from?

But it is true. It is also true that how anybody acts is influenced by anybody in their surroundings. We are mirrors to those who look at us.

It's strange how much you have misinterpreted and twisted everything. But I don't think you have enough life experience to understand. Thanks anyway.

Maybe I'm misunderstanding you but have you thought that maybe everyone is insecure?

Do girls like having their nipples sucked (a little)?

You are the one deflecting. I wasn't the one making sweeping statements about "all men". Deal with your delusions of grandeur and your paranoia.

I used to get bullied a lot when I was little. One day i decided to send a cute little love letter to some girl I liked. Next day she showed it to everyone and laughed at me. Whoever wasn't in on bullying me back then sure as hell was after that

He means women are often the factor that impares men's decision making. His choice of words was poor. He means it like
>Alcohol is 'responsible' for car accidents.
ie alcohol causes car accidents, even though the blame rests entirely on driver's shoulders.

I think she's taking issue with the word 'responsible', not the idea itself.

You are not a kid anymore, you can't live like you are.

A lot of them do, but not all.

When you see how "everyone" is "always" acting, you are seeing a reflection of yourself in them.

Yes actually I largely think that.
Women are insecure too but I ask about men because I date them, or fond them attractive.

But I'm not insecure so I don't get it.
It's not that I am full of myself or think I'm perfect, I own up to my weaknesses, I own up to being a shy and insecure child at times, but I just kinda don't care about things I could be insecure about. I find it incredibly hard to find anyone like this, I thought people outgrew this at a certain age vut nope even the most confident people break down on front of me. I have mental weaknesses at times but only over someone I truly loved and cared about. So I related this to these guys all having some sort of attraction or feeling towards me and becoming insecure that I wasn't insecure over them.

Also it's late here and I have been recovering from illness and busy so this is like pre sleep rambling.

Yeah this overly defensive reply full.of evenmore assumptions. I have to remember that if someone seems clueless in the first reply to not engage lol.

Silly Jow Forums lads

>wear granny panties and boy shorts
>get laughed at by girlfriends
Pls be in london
Ill meet once I get a dank ass

If everywhere you go it smells like shit, check your own shoe.

>Yeah this overly defensive reply full.of evenmore assumptions

It's not "assumptions" when you literally show your paranoia for all to see.

Yeah but she's only been with this dude like a year. Before then she'd be lucky to manage 15 likes.

This girl is like a whole other level to a lot of "Instagram models." A natural beauty who could probably get anyone she wanted.

So I'm kind of friends with this girl. We're in the same major so we work on homework and shit together, but not much else. I think I like her, but idk what the gameplan should be here. Should I straight up just ask her out? Or should I try to become better friends with her first? And how do I do this without being creepy? I clearly don't have any experience with this.

What do you expect? How do you think this plays out?

I know you lack experience, I'm just trying to see what kind of ideas you have built already.

Nope not European :(, sorry

You're right about that but i still need some advice for what i should do to start getting over it

Are you that triggered that you're going to keep spamming replies for attention? You.made assumptions and they were wrong. Move on. Next. Ciao.

Yes you are right..People act a certain way around people they are attracted to but that it still their own responsibility to deal with. The wording did bother me.

So onto that point, I wonder why people always deflect their insecurities onto others. With women, if they do it towards other women they aren't close to them, but men seem to do it to their partners. I can't say how men treat other men but I think it's similar to women towards other women. And as for women towards men, I'm not insecure, so all I can speak for are others experiences of which again I don't understand. If I was insecure I would leave that person not stay together and be insecure.

Anyway I can't stay awake anymore.. maybe come back if this is around later.

There are no dominant women worth dating. Same goes for size queens.

>Are you that triggered that you're going to keep spamming replies for attention? You.made assumptions and they were wrong. Move on. Next. Ciao.

You quoted a guy that's not me. But hey, I'm not the one that's trying so hard to have the last word. Don't worry, I promise I won't reply to your next post. I can see you put your wall of denial so it's worthless to try and help you. Enjoy the life you've created.

There's no "12 steps to get over bullying" dude. Try therapy and remember you are not a kid anymore. A change of perspective is what it takes.

Most men I meet stare right into my eyes for long periods of time, why do they do it? Women don't do it. I'm autistic and I would like to understand, I'm a woman. My eyes are not special in any way. And what should I do when they do it? I can't keep eye contact it makes me feel bad

I'll keep that in mind. Thanks man

Maybe they don't want to look anywhere close to your tits so they don't look like perverts. It happens, sometimes we get self concious about that sort of stuff.

Don't most women wear boyshorts or french knickers these days? Both are unsexy desu.

That's a good question. I feel like if I just ask her out now that it would put her in an awkward situation because, well, we're not super close or anything. And I also don't want to get rejected and then not be friends anymore, which is why I think becoming better friends with her first could be beneficial.

As far as how this gets done, I have no idea. It's hard to look at objectively.

>I can't keep eye contact it makes me feel bad
This is why, at least for me. I'm trying to compensate for some combination of shyness, ADHD, and boob staring, and I end up overcompensating.

I thought about it but I always wear dark, large clothes up to my neck, I never wear anything revealing, it must not be the reason

You are being judged. Act naturally and be judged correctly. All eyes are special.

Trust me, if you have boobs I'm gonna try not to look at them and fail miserably. Doesn't matter what you're wearing.

Ok, so you want to know her better, that's doable, right?

Now, about that idea where you get to know her with the plan of asking her out, and even if she rejects you you still are friends, that's unrealistic.

Good way to find girls to hook up with outside of tinder? Or I guess I should say, how do I actually go about that, as opposed to standard dating or some shit

I mean, you are the one with the boobs, do you really think they are not notisable? I notice them in all girls, I've never met a girl with clothes that made me not notice her breasts. I mean, yeah, a box robot costume hides them, but I'm talking about regular clothes.

I need an answer within five minutes: is phone sex breaking NoFap?

Got a new gf Jan 30th, started NoFap Feb 1st, but my balls are getting blue and she's getting teasier by the fucking minute. Like, nude shower Vida that show just barely enough to get me rock hard. We've been regular video chatting every day since the 30th, I think it'll escalate tonight

I want to add that if a girl literally has no tits I'm gonna look at her lack of them.

So they might stare at my eyes because they are shy and to avoid staring at my breasts? Do you also "look" there if they wear winter coats?
I act naturally but I always end up covering my face like a child because their stare feels like it is looking at my soul.
I never take off my winter coat, there is nothing to be seen, it is too thick.

>I never take off my winter coat, there is nothing to be seen, it is too thick.

Well, I change my theory. If I met a girl that never takes of her coat even inside I'd probably be worried she is hiding something in there. As soon as your eyes twitch I'd dive away. What kind of crazy person never takes of their coat?

No

>Do you also "look" there if they wear winter coats?
If her boobs are sufficiently large, yes.
It's also just trying to look interested in general. I don't want to seem rude and try balance the right amount of eye contact, I just inevitably overdo it. Or at least I think I do.

So are you saying there's no scenario where I get rejected and we remain friends?

And how would I go about getting closer to her without coming off as weird or creepy?

>So are you saying there's no scenario where I get rejected and we remain friends?

You built your friendship as a platform to get closer to her. So yeah, it's unlike the friendship would survive the rejection.

There was a girl in one of my classes last semester that I got along with and she seemed to be into me. I wanted to ask her for her number before the class ended but I never got the chance/chickened out.
I would ask her now but I literally never see her on campus anymore. However, since we were lab partners I do have her last name, and she has an instagram account. Would it be creepy if I followed her now?
I haven't spoken to her in 3 months.

>Girl used to text me instantly and constantly
>Until one time I forgot to reply for a week
>Swore I did, but fuck I didn't
>Text her apologizing and try to restart the conversation
>Never replies again
What the fuck happened? She was so cool.

If that's the case is it even worth the effort?

It will probably look bad. But hey, what do you have to lose? Just don't expect much to come out of a last ditch effort like this.

What pictures do I use on tinder and other dating sites if I never go outside and therefore don't have any? I suppose bathroom selfies won't pass.

>If that's the case is it even worth the effort?

This is a problem in your views of male/female relationships. You can't only spend time with women that you think will date you, because you don't know jack shit about women yet. You need to live more.

Make friends, ask girls out, have fun. Don't go to interactions with a goal in mind.

>What pictures do I use on tinder and other dating sites if I never go outside and therefore don't have any?

If you look a bit harder, you'll see the solution to your problem is in your question.

That's just mean user.

I do not take my coat off because it's not necessary, it's cold outside everyone keep their coats even when they're going inside buildings for short amounts of time. Is it less weird? When I take my coat off I get stares because my breasts are big, but when it's on you can't notice they are here, and they don't even look at them.
I was in a meeting recently with a man and another woman, and even when the other woman was talking, the man was looking at my eyes.
I don't understand because I don't notice it happening to other people. And when I ask the people if they know why the men did it they don't know, even if they saw it happen.

The thing is, I think I saw her the other day and we walked past each other. She's pretty shy and I wasn't 100% it was her so we didn't say anything at all.
I can just use that as an excuse, right? Like, "Hey, I'm pretty sure I saw you the other day and I began to wonder how you've been" or something.

What's the longest amount of time you have spent taking a break from persuing a relationship?

Though I've been mildly interested for the past year or so, I feel so behind and fucked in life that I may have to take time off from even attempting to talk to and entertain girls. Is such a thing normal or feasible? If it complicates things, I'm an oldfag too, so my family may raise questions

>When I take my coat off I get stares because my breasts are big
Well that's probably it.

>When I take my coat off I get stares because my breasts are big

I mean, I don't know what kind of magic coat you have but big tits are hard to hide.

Dude, if you slide into her DMs it's obvious what you want. Don't lie to us and yourself about it, she will know what's going on.

I've taken a break for damn near 20 years.

I just don't want to come off as desperate.

Should I pass and then?