Found condoms in son's room

He's using condoms, he's a smart kid, socially stupid and anxious but very smart.
The girl is really really nice, literally the nerdy type, rejected by other girls that's why my son says she relates to her a lot. He won't make her pregnant I'm sure of it.
I don't know user I was already pretty suspicious of this, he used to never go outside but in the last 3 or so months he goes out every few days with her and it's not like it's a secret, she comes over sometimes to call him to go and hang out, he's the happiest he's ever been.
That's how I want to handle it but my wife is furious. I can't not confront him because that would be letting the wife confront him herself and that's no good. I seriously don't see why she's so mad, the girl is literal copy of my wife, nice, kind, glasses, similar hair, geeky.... she's a nice girl.
I want to do that but how do I stop my wife?

Your son is a Chad user. Tell your wife to stfu.

I'm planning to talk to the son way before the wife and explain to him everything and that I'm proud of him and that his mother may give him a rough time but that she still loves him and stuff. I think it'll make quite a good bonding experience between me and him.

My son is the beta, hell he's omega.
He's literally me in his age just even worse, he lucked out I guess.

You’re in the right. If we lived in an old-timy religious society, your wife would maybe be right.

OP HERE

Guys I just wanna say that I love him even more because of this and that I'm really proud.
He's shown he's responsible.

I'm just really really happy for him. I was in a dark dark spot his age, I didn't get my firsts ( kiss, hug, sex, girlfriend ) until 21. I was really sad and didn't know what was wrong with me.
I'm a big coward and I thought about killing myself because of that. I was really depressed about it.

I was afraid he's going to turn out the same way when I realized he's a lot like me and I didn't want him to experience all the mental pain I've gone through.

I'm really happy for him Jow Forums I really love my son.

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>shown he's responsible by having sex at 15 years old not having any clue of the possible consequences and probably with a girl he won't even talk to after high school
God I feel bad for him.

That'd be good. Do this whether you convince her to calm the fuck down or not. Put emphasis on that he shouldn't feel bad or embarrassed and that you're ESPECIALLY glad he's using protection. Seriously, you have no idea how many people I know that are betas but ended up being dumb enough to get a slut preggo and now have to pay child support or fucked up their life in general. Considering he's already a fucking nerd, if your wife blows up on him it might fuck him up even more.
But yeah, best case scenario you tell him you're proud and you convince your wife she should be too. I'd also tell him to make sure it's with someone he at least knows he loves, but that's just me. CAUTION: make sure he's actually USING them before you embarrass him. Start the talk with "Oh we found condoms in your room etc. etc. You're not in trouble."

Oh nonononononono bro, you bring the wife into this fucking first step. Before you even namedrop the kid in his audible range you fucking get your wife on board.
If the two of you are divided on this, that's gonna be even more problems.

You need to get the wife on the up and up that the kid's doing it, it's done, and Hell-- maybe the condoms were an impulse thing and all he's done is like, touch her panties gently. Lord knows I didn't get any action at fucking 15, I wouldn't have known how to get it, and I was a shy introvert with awkwardness on-board.

You should try and appeal to your wife's care for the boy and tell her this is the opportunity like no other to set him on the right path and make sure once and for all he has sexual education befitting a man of his age. The birds and the bees, yanno? (I never got the metaphor teebeeach) But your wife needs to know that he's not an enemy in this, he's not 'acting out' or trying to chafe you guys or nothin' bad, he's just exploring life. Tentatively, carefully and safely, in an age where it's retard-easy to do the exact opposite without even realizing you're doing it.

No, I'd recommend very highly that you get your wife first, and make sure she understands your level on this. You also don't want to try and preempt her only to learn she's preempted you, or something, you know? You two need to be a unified body, because he-said-she-said is one game a parent really can't afford to play.

I repeat: you, as a unified parental unit, need to express to your son the proper way about sex, conduct regarding contraception, all those fun things-- but mostly that he can go to BOTH of you. None of this, "dad's not home but mom's a humongous bitch about my sitch so I'm not gonna start her bitchin' in this kitchen"-- he needs to know you are both patently his team leaders, his mentors, his sensei-tachi.

Thank you for putting up with my windy-ass posts

If that was your daughter, how would you react?

You can't spell overreacting without ovary.

Control your woman. Remind her what a joy it is to just let yourselves act like fucking animals for a bit.

I am about to turn 20 so I was in your son's shoes a few years ago. 15 is pretty young but nothing too strange. Just let him be and remind him that there could be issues if he isn't safe.

He's not going to stop even if you tell him too. I crashed my car and could of gotten seriously hurt because I was trying to sneak around my parents. He is likley not going to stop and will just try to hide it which can be MUCH worse. Ex: fucking in a car and getting a criminal record

Let him be.

>You can't spell overreacting without ovary
>without ovary
Anonymous, return my sides at once.

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He might not have even had any sex keep that in mind. The first condoms I've bought passed the expiry date.
As for your wife she has to understand that these are different times. Things like that are normal

The wife is not seeing my point of view at all. She's disgusted and she "just wants her innocent son back". I don't know what to do.

I totally understand the point the 2nd user is trying to make and kind of agree.
If I knew the guy as good as I know the girl and if he's not a maniac but a sweet nice kind geeky loving guy like the girl I'd be ok.

>young love

so beautiful

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The box isn't full, some were used. And they seem pretty newish.
>Things like that are normal
I really want her to understand that. She lost her virginity at 22 I believe, she's very shy and anxious herself so I understand why she's scared.

ANOOOOOOOOOOOOONS

I fear that if the wife scolds him on the condoms that it'll just make him stop using them, not stop having sex, just stop using condoms

And as you can imagine that's a big big problem

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>he'd be okay with his 15 year old daughter getting railed
Confirmed for being a shitty cuckold of a parent

There's a difference between the gay faggot that's railing you every night and a nice sweet guy who just wants to experience love for the first time.

What the fuck is wrong with Americans? How is that a bad thing, sex at that age is perfectly normal

Tell her that this is how he will get out of being beta and getting angry at him because he had sex might make him even more beta. Your kid is having rough time at school and he shouldn't be punished for getting a confidence boost. I had some expierence like that. You get stuck between listening to your parents and getting out of your shell. It sucks because whatever you do you feel like shit

The thing is I was in his exact shoes at his age all the way up to 21, even worse. I fully understand him but it seems like my wife doesn't.

What the fuck.
When the fuck did she lose her v-card, OP?

Then you make her understand one way or another

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This is the only right answer, OP.

As someone with parents who were "There", who cared, and who I have a great relationship with, I can tell you that the most precious moments I've ever had with my folks have been the times that they trusted me enough to make my own decisions. I don't think there's really any other way to get a positive outcome, just working from basic psychology - any self-respecting 15 year old isn't going to react any differently than any other 15 year old to being told "You can't do this" by his parents. At best, he'll take the order seriously and cripple his social life for you, always wondering what might have been and resenting you to some degree for shutting him down. At worst, he'll ignore his parents completely and proceed in an even more reckless manner just to spite you.

Instead, just let him know that you know, that you're okay with him making his own decisions, but that you're always there if you need him. Tell him you love him, and that you care more about him being happy than anything else. Maybe even show a little pride that he's going at this like an adult and being safe about it. He'll be much more likely to put that kind of thought into his actions in the future, and will probably be more open with the both of you too, knowing that you won't just come down on him any time his actions don't fit what his parents think they should be.

Just my two cents.

At 22, not to me, we didn't know each other at the time, I lost mine at 21.

That is exactly what I planned on saying and I told my wife many times that we can't scold him too much so he doesn't just stop using condoms. The wife literally said once that she's going to take away the condoms which is just purely retarded.

That poster here. It's a far cry to say my parents didn't care, but 'There' was something I was not-- I had developed such a resentment for my parents' reactions to things that I became avoidant of them in the extreme. I never brought anything to them, to the point I was running suicidal tendencies and not really having that addressed at all. I hated it and I still hate it and I still avoid them and I still stay away. I think my stepfather has done great things in making the household as a whole generally more tolerant of me (I guess is what I'd say) but I think the problem is that the reactions-- when I could project that they were negative, I could resolve the whole thing in my head-- and then, I could develop the lie I needed to make the whole situation go 'woosh.'
I'm trying to break those habits but it's tough. If nothing else, take my story to the wife: if you start now with that whole "I'm going to yell at you for shit that's completely natural," that kid is going to become very good at telling you what you want to hear, and not what's going on. It happened to me, at least, so I guess it "could" happen.

Help the kid, OP. Your wife is going to hurt him.

Also OP, to elaborate a bit on your troubles in particular, you may want to consider just taking a stand on your own ground on this, independent of your wife. You don't even have to confront HER about it, but when she demands action on your part, be calm but firm that you're not going to scold your son for this, and go to your son privately and have a talk with him one on one about your personal feelings on it.

Even parents who stick together and form a decent family disagree on some things OP, and that's okay as long as you don't cave and let her turn you into an enforcer of what she wants. If she wants to scold your son for his actions, have her share her feelings with him herself, and you share your feelings with him yourself. There's no need for any of the resentment your son is going to feel for her being controlling and hypocritical to be directed at you, and she should be responsible for her own actions.

It doesn't have to create a conflict in the family if you don't want it to. Next time she expresses an opinion to that end, just let her know that you don't agree, but if she wants to take it up with the kid, then she should do that. You do the same.

That other poster here.

You know, the funny thing about it is, there was a similar dynamic between my Mom and Dad at different points during my growing up, too. In some of my early childhood episodes, my Dad would try to be the "Good Upstanding Father" and stand behind the opinion of his wife, but in the end that pretty much just turned into him being her enforcer, and us kids (Me and my brothers) believing in a lot of cases that he was the harsh taskmaster, when in reality she was pulling rank on him as his wife to get him to whip his/her kids into the shape she wanted us to be.

Sometime during my early-mid childhood, my Dad decided that being a father was even more important to him than being a husband. He was going to stand behind his kids - and that's not to say he never scolded us for anything, because he did, but it was never for no good reason or over his own personal morals, because HIS dad had often punished him without ever giving him a clear reason or on a "Because I said so" and my Dad always hated that. So he got it into his head that regardless of what the wife said, he'd only dish out punishments he thought were justified, and he would always, ALWAYS explain why when we asked, and that's always been good enough for us kids.

Ever since then, he's been supportive of the lot of us. Sometimes we still get scolded even into adulthood, but there's always a reason, and he's always willing to back us up as a father should for his sons, whether we follow his advice or not. He gives us his two cents, explains his thinking, but the love, the support, is unconditional. He's made a point of never letting anyone, including his wife, get in the way of that.

I don't think you should either, OP.

I'm trying the best I can, I want my guy to know that I feel proud and that his mother doesn't mean everything she's going to say and that she'll be proud of him too someday.
I don't want to make my wife the house enemy... I don't want to antagonize her... that's gonna set a bad example for both my son and my daughter ( who is not 4 so it may hit her the hardest ). I don't want to have him pick favorites.

I don't want it to be a conflict but I just keep putting my 15 to 20 year old self in this situation and I keep realizing how fucked up this would make me.

I don't know what kind of a parent I want to be, I just want the best for him and for ALL OF US

I'm not suggesting that you make her the house enemy, I'm simply suggesting that you let her take responsibility for her own feelings and actions.

If she wants to make HERSELF the house enemy, then that's a mistake she should be allowed to make, and then hopefully patch up, on her own. Its crucial both to her development as a parent and his development as a son, I think, that she be open and honest about her opinion, coming from her own mouth, instead of trying to use you to show her displeasure.

As for how your son reacts to that, well, it really depends on how she presents her arguments and what kind of a son the two of you have raised. But it does him no good to let her turn you into a tool for her point of view, and it also does him no good to try and shield him from the way his own parents honestly feel.

Just have her explain her point of view, and you explain yours. The two of you aren't creating a hostile environment just because you don't agree on everything.

>Who's in the right here?
You.

What do I do?
First of all: Bitchslap your cunt wife and tell her to STFU. Secondly, don't barge in on your son, at all. There's nothing worse than parents sniffing in their children's belongings. It will make your son feel under surveillance and cut into his privacy. He's at an age where it's important to give him more and more room to form his own character. It is absolutely great that he found a girl that cares about him. Even if it hurts, but you have to accept that your son is gradually growing out of the role of 'being your son', into the role of being a man with responsibility, being a partner, being an employee, and eventually being a father himself. It is YOUR duty to aid him on that journey, without intervening in his life decisions.

In short: If the condom thing really bugs you, have a talk when the occasion arises. Don't bring up the condom, but just be casual about it. Ask him how's it going with the girl, tell him you think she's nice and that it's good to know they're being safe about their relationship. Maybe make up some silly story about your own youth how you bought your first pack of condoms and make him laugh. Whatever you do, don't make it awkward. And again, tell your wife to shut her whore mouth.

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Then the problem isn't with your son, the problem is your wife being obsessive and wanting to approach it in a (in my opinion) unhealthy manner.

If I were you I'd go talk to your son and be like "Hey, we found these, you really don't have to explain anything to me. If you're using them to protect yourself then it's okay, but your mom is pissed and wants to do x thing" and that's it

She's not a calm state at all, I have no idea what she may say.
I'll try that.
I'm not slapping her.
We were looking for some papers we needed for his school. He left them in a drawer that's quite literally the only place where school stuff is. Probably forgot them.
I do understand all of that, can't say I'm shocked as well but my wife is mad shocked and I'm happy shocked.

I can't not bring it up user. Wife is furious she's only waiting for an opportunity, she's not letting this one go by.

I kinda understand where she's coming from. She was in a very bad state in her teenage years, rejected by everyone, not fitting in, anxiety, depression, she ( just exactly like me ) spent all of her teenage years friendless and without a clue of what to do.
I used to hate people that had sex early because I was jealous, I was fully into the chad and stacy meme and I think everyone that suffered like us at that age is the same so I understand why she doesn't like this at all.

Your wife is absolutely wrong. She won’t understand unless you make her think things through. That’s because she’s a girl and she was told that sex at this age is disgusting. You don’t want your son to end up in r9k.

Sex is completely normal at that age. Hell you should be eststic that he is smart enough to use protection.

Tell your wife to get out of the fucking 50's.

>I'm not slapping her.
It was obviously a joke.

>I can't not bring it up user. Wife is furious she's only waiting for an opportunity, she's not letting this one go by.
Yeah well then talk to her beforehand and explain your position. Make it clear to her that this isn't the big deal she makes it out to be. Try to persuade her to let you handle the talk and then chat with your son alone in a chill manner like I said.

If she's hellbent on being part of the talk, perhaps go for 'good cop/bad cop' kind of scenario. Just make sure your son understands you're on his side and that you're proud of him.

But seriously, your wife sounds like a huge cunt for blowing this up so much. My mom was the same when I was young, constantly nagging and screaming. This can really cripple a boy's ego during those important years. Seriously, tell your wife to chill the fuck out.

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Seems fine to me. Just give him a speech on safe sex and the value of picking one woman for life.

Your wife is being a prude.

I am happy for him.
The son was well on his way, he lucked out and I'm really glad.
I will try all that's in my power.
I'm going to try to make her see it from my perspective and tell her how much it can damage him.
I'll do literally everything.
I want the best for the whole family.

I will give him the speech but it seems like he already understands it, he's really smart.

>picking one woman for life
Eh I wouldnt go that far. Definitely teach him the value of sex and that it shouldn't be done recklessly but the dude isn't going to find his wife at 15.

Lol like you two weren't horny teenagers once.

Op, what everyone is trying to tell you is...

ITS NOT ABOUT HER.

I understand that she's your wife, and his mother, but he's your SON. Your role on this earth as parents is to produce a decent person out of that son, someone who will survive and someday have kids of his own. Your duty to your son outweighs your duty to your wife, especially now, because she's forgetting that she has a duty to her son that supercedes her feelings.

If she wants to be angry, that's her right. Getting pissed at him for having a life really isn't. Its going to send the worst kinds of messages, up to and including "STOP LIKING WHAT I DON'T LIKE" coming from a grown adult that's supposed to be his mother, expecting him to actually comply with it when he's doing exactly what he should be doing as a 15 year old boy. (Not necessarily having sex, just chasing girls in general. I'm not saying I condone the ages people fuck at these days, but weren't you chasing tail at his age just the same?)

He literally explains midway through the thread that they were both spergos with awkwardness problems and were introverts to boot
Read for once in your disappointing life, you fucking donkey

Lolz triggered much?

Keep backpedaling, disappointment

Lol now self projecting

Not him, but kindly shut the fuck up, you're ruining a good thread with that troll shit.

I gave a legit answer to help calm the wife. Sorry i didnt read every single fucking thing

OP here

I'm going off for a bit, the confrontation won't happen today I'm sure of it because the kid is at his grandpa's place.

You need to confront her, then. Get this out and get this over with. It needs to happen. Don't let anxiety hide you.

Just reinforce that he uses HIS protection and not hers.

>Common sense
He used a condom, so that is irrelevant as the kid has it
>Good morals
Morals are genuinely subjective, albeit there are objective ones most put together people have

So shut the fuck up before pushing your subjective morals onto others and suggesting scolding to further push a kid away from something he is gonna do regardless of what someone says. It'd be different if he was about that pull out game. It seems you weren't raised strictly with enough common sense to know that scolding an individual over something like that will lead them to do it more, that's human nature, and you'd know that if you didn't have the narrow-mindedness of a damn coconut. Every damn time some stupid advice blows through its some trip that needs an identity on an anonymous board to inflate their ego

gets it, so do this OP

Dont underestimate him fuck head

Any clue? Using a condom clearly shows he has a clue.

i woldnt say anything

maybe he just bought condoms for just in case, or to try it up, or whatever
if thats the case and you gona pat him on the back hes gona feel down he disappoints you

your wife should stfu

Here is what I would do.
Well the father should do.
You should ask to talk and just mention it without asking it drilling him. He may tell you or not. He may feel embarrassed or awkward, or not. Here is what you say

"Your mother and I noticed used condoms in your room while cleaning. You are at an age where you are changing and curious. I won't ask you about it but know that you can come to us anytime to talk about it or ask questions. However at your age, if you are sexually active, we appreciate you being responsible but feel that as long as you are a minor living under our roof that you are too young for sex. When you are 18 and off the university then you can enjoy becoming an adult. Until then you must choose to stay under our roof or if you want to do adult behavior then to support yourself as an adult and any consequences that might arise."

Children aren't stupid.
Treat them like people and give them a choice and they get to decide for themselves. Forbidding something or scolding them is for toddlers. Kids these age may be naive about some things but they are smart when you treat them so and not like they aren't. He has urges but should hopefully just he jacking it for a few years first.

My parents never had the talk with me and I still was a virgin until my 20s. Ultimately it is a choice but they need to learn choices come with their own consequences and be prepared.

>banging some girls at 15 y.o.
God I feel good for him

I've kinda talked sense into my wife and I'm going to have a 1 on 1 conversation with my son. Wife won't interfere at all.
Thanks for answers everyone.

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Leave him be I had my first time at 13 and it saved me from livelong virginhood. All the people here always post about how they couldn't experience teenage love so you better leave him be

Just all about it. It’s fine. I started when I was 12, best advice I got from my parent was to stay safe.

If you punish him you are making sexy into something weird, and that may affect him for life in bad way.
How do you think people get into kinks and becomes furries?

20552092 (You)
kys you fucking tripfaggot

Yeah, sex shaming your son is a great parenting technique. Much better than being proud of him for using protection and teaching him sexual health stuff. You should take away his computer and TV too. Maybe make him go to church and pray for forgiveness from baby jesus too.

OP here

Thanks for the great advice everyone. I decided to grow a pair and tell my wife to stop being a nosy prude cunt and leave the fooken boy alone. Then I stole one of my son's condoms as tribute for living in my kingdom and fucked his mom in the arse hole. I had to slap the back of her head once for back talking during the middle of my stroke.

Things have been much better since all that happened and my son just told me how happy he is that he finally has a male role model.

The correct thing to do is to invite his friend over for a surprise party for your son but when she gets there, whipped it out and give it to her like a real man, and just fuck her crazy. Time it so your son will will walk in on you two and then declare to him "son, you shouldn't ever wear a condom as it causes you to lose sensation" then unload like a busted dam right into her tight little count.

That's what a good father would do.

Just give him "the dad talk" and as much advice as you can to avoid any pregnancy. All seems harmless unless he puts a baby in her.

They will just find away around you. Be happy hes playing it safe. Just remind him if he fucks up hes on his own.

Condoms aren't fail safe, especially with teenagers who are just discovering sex. Theres your clue.

As a parent there are no boundaries. You do what must be done. Period.

>At the least, you want him to know you're his parents, not some fucking abstract force of misery acting upon his life constantly.

It literally took my mothers death to get this through my faggot fathers thick skull. I forgave him when he apologized but fucks sake itd be nice if he had that epiphany before I was an adult.

Your wife is right obviously. Sexual activity in young people is negatively correlated with IQ and educational attainment. Your son sounds like a normie who's gonna start neglecting his studies, catch an STD, get a girl pregnant then end up doing menial labor the rest of his life. Make him focus on school, not girls.

>your son sounds like a normie
>so make him an even bigger fucking normie
God fucking damn the brain on you must be like the size of a truck

They are using condoms you mother fuckinh 50 IQ retard

Youre the right one OP.your wife is weird for wamting to scold his son because he is having safe sex . Maybe give him a little talk about sex and how dangerous it is without protection and thats all you need to do.if he has already had sex at that age he wont be a retarded cunt who wants to get laid and does anything to do so

They all do, until they get drunk, don't have condoms on them, go in raw, realize how much better it feels, start using the pull out method, and bam, pregnant. Seen it happen a million times.

faggot

Woah buddy, simmer down.

>Sexual activity in young people is negatively correlated with IQ and educational attainment.
I don't think this means what you think it means.
Sex does not make you dumb.

It's not the only cause but it's a factor. All the time you spend seeking quick endorphin rushes is time you could have spent doing something productive.

She sounds like her opinions match standard boring conservative Muslims. If you lived in a village your wife could be the first to stone someone to death. Or stands up for female circumcision.

First get everyone a reproductive and sexual education. The wife too. Have her read The Joy of Sex.

>making babies
How much more fucking productive can one get?

Tell your wife to stop being a cunt and not make sex taboo, if you talk to him openly and tell him that it's a decision with consequences. Also keep emphesasing on safe sex. Don't make it a taboo because then it be more wanted