Jealousy

I have a girl that I like here and we've been talking about going out together for a while but we've both been pretty busy.

A mutual friend and roommate of mine goes to her room to speak to her alone, sometimes for a long time. Sometimes I find an excuse to go up but find they are just chatting. How can I stop being such a paranoid asshole? I feel like I'm being a prick but I've never had a gf before so I don't want to lose her to a Hispanic, better looking, taller guy . So what do?

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Would worrying about losing her to a sexier guy prevent it from happening, or would it just make you miserable? Aren’t the best things you can do to keep her positive things that would actually make the two of you fulfilled and happy?

Also, maybe be prepared to “lose” her, because you don’t own her and most relationships don’t last a lifetime, though trying to make them last is certainly a good idea.

It's extremely unlikely to happen as she complains about him a fair bit. I do as much as I can to keep her cheerful and happy but I just get jealous when they sit in her room alone. I know it's stupid, that's why I'm asking how to stop. I can even feel it creeping in when friends jokingly cuddle or kiss her because we're waiting until we actually have a date to kiss properly.

I know I don't own her. She's an individual and I respect that. I just want her to want me, is that so bad? I want it to last as soon as possible, even after I leave the country. I plan to come back for her.

I'll up the ante and say outright dump her. There is no way for you to win this. If you tell her you think like this she'll take it as a sign of weakness and do it anyway, and if you don't your paranoia will bottle up until it explodes and someone gets hurt. There are plenty of skanks out there for you to fuck: what you need to do is figure out why it took you so long to get this one.

I think you’ve gotta stop cockblocking yourself and conscimate this relationship. Of course take your time, but get to work on it already.

>conscimate
That's the worst spelling I've ever seen. It's "consummate".

She's not the problem. She's openly said that she wants to go out with me. She's also Slovakian so I trust that she is pretty loyal. I am just a paranoid asshole and want to be better. She's the most kind person I've ever met and she's a lot like me in many ways. We understand each other enough that I know she doesn't see me as weak. I am asking this for my own sake.

I'm not cockblocking myself dude. We have both been pretty busy as we are students. I also want it to last so I am letting her set the pace. I don't want to own her, I want a relationship.

You're doomed to fail. You have to free yourself of the brainwashings of a dominant mother figure and learn to be a man. You blew it this time, but next time will be better.

Except we are going to go out on Valentines so...