What can I meet early-20s girls at 31 and how can I avoid coming off as that one creepy older guy...

If you don’t seem like one of them then I guess that could make it a bit harder

You can’t because at 31 you’re already the creepy older guy. RIP

So does Jow Forums think I am pretty much SOL unless I want to lie about my age in search of brief hookups? I want to have the hot young girlfriend I never had at that age. and to have a partner whose timeline fir starting a family has room for me to finish grad school. :(

Give it up. We have this thread 6 times a day. You feel like the creepy older guy because you are. Date women your own age and PLEASE leave young girls alone.

Your truly, 23/f

Dude I'm around and with girls in their 20s all the time. Go to a nightclub or bar or something.

Also i just realised that the pic is the 30 year old boomer irl

musk=30+yo boomer who lived the dream for a little while but flew too close to the sun.

women my own age inevitably complain about me studying too much and start pressuring me to drop out of grad school and go into industry bc I'll make more money that way as soon as we get serious. This has happened multiple times. -100/10 would not do again.

Like my last girlfriend (close to my age) literally called me pathetic for wanting to continur and told me if I was cut out for the type of career I wanted I would have gone to college right out of high school and finished my PhD in my 20s. She gave me an ultimatum. school or her.

I chose school.

When women say they like older men, they usually mean 5 years older, not an entire decade.

Good but date girls closer to your age. No youger than 26

I mean some of then exclusively date older dudes but relationship wise it's nothing like you think it is. Great sex, horrific everything else.

Sorry but a 28 is going to be far better than some inexperienced 18 year old

Well this makes me feel pretty hopeless - being surrounded by the kind of girls I always dreamed of dating, but they're out of my reach. Feels kinda like I ruined my life.

You're a late bloomer and women you're age are usually taken. Don't lie, but don't be judgemental either.

Lol like late 20's/early 30's women are just repulsive. You sound like one of those red pill faggots who go on about that wall bullshit

*shot out run down and worn down roastie vagina*
*19 and up tight af clean perfect pussy*
And yeah I'm 27 and banged girls 7 years younger , when I was 23 I banged a 30 year old and most were 2 year differences.
19-22 has always the best.
Maybe that's because I do most of the work tho :p.

Lol youre lying and you dont even know how vaginas work

Not sure what you mean? Yeah I am a
very late bloomer which is the crux of the problem. I spent a lot of my 20s in a crappy (super controlling) relationship which stunted my career, education, and social life. I feel like I have very little in common with most people older than maybe 26 or so, and experience bears this out. But I'm also old enough that if I hang out with people whose lives are closer to my own, I'm old enough for it to be noticeable. It feels like I "ran out the clock" and don't fit in anywhere anymore. I've had seriously awful experiences in particular dating women in my own age range. At this point I actually feel way more comfortable with the idea of pursuing someone under 25. It feels like it would just make so much more sense.

I don't think women my age are repulsive, but I would say I don't typically find them hot the way I find these college girls hot, and it makes me sad.

I mean yeah I've had some young ones that sucks but then girls who felt awful all happend to be the ones who fuck all the time so weird concidental? Idk.

So just go to a college bar

You sound like relationships are the least of your worries.

First of all you need to accept that in all likelihood you will never have one of the hot young girls you dream of.

It probably still won't happen, but they can smell desparation from the moon, so accepting it still markedly improves your chances.

Then work on your own life until you're at a point where you'll be more compatible with someone in your own age group.

It's theoretically possible you could get a younger girlfriend but the reality is "older guys" usually means a handul of years older, and no girl wants to be the symbol of your wasted youth for you to chase after.

Sorry I know what I said is confusing, but unfortunately meeting younger women is like that.

I was 23 when I lost a girl who was 21 to a guy who was 30. I'm not spiteful or anything, but I'm 27 and will likely find myself in a similar position a few years down the road since I'm working towards a pretty good future, but I won't be dating material for a year or so.

Anyway, there's a balance of acting young and having your life (income, living, and family situation) together that needs to be met. If you just seem like "the weird old guy" they'll just run away, but if you can come across like you already have it down (I'm just assuming you do) then they're more likely to stay and be less judgemental.

Maybe if he's literally pining for 18 year olds. There are plenty of young women in their early 20s who would happily date a 31 year old man. My own mom and dad were 21 and 31 when they met.

No what happens is this shit called tenting to accommodate dicks. Whores are much more comfortable with sex so they tent better. And also, vaginas on average are only as big as a quarter before stretching occurs so guys who talk about how loose women are all the time are basically admitting to have a skinny penis

Hmm... For me part of the problem is probably that I *don't* have it together, in that I'm 31 and still a poor student. The thing is this is I really want to either go into academia in my field or become a civil servant, which means finishing my PhD, and probably a relatively low-paying postdoc or associate faculty position for some time after that. I will probably be behind my peers financially and in terms of living situation at least until my 50s (at which point if I keep with it I may be one of the lucky few who still receives a pension). My hope has been that despite wasting so much of my 20s in a failed relationshipp I could "thread the needle" of going into academia and still starting a family but I realize that some women may find this all deeply unattractive. Am I forever doomed to be "the weird older guy?" I figured some women would find my passionate commitment to a goal attractive, and I love being around a younger crowd in general, e.g. I really treasure the few times I've gotten to go to parties with a college crowd (and had an awesome time when I did).

You don't sound that bad, honestly its just all the focus on wanting a younger woman so badly that comes off weird. If you can just relax about it there are loys of opportunities for you to meet undergrad girls. And are there not early to mid-20s grad students you could date? That's what you're looking for, right? "Hot young girls" aside, somebody whose life lines up with yours despite you being a late bloomer?

Thanks I guess... My field of study is very male dominated. Literally all the women in my masters' courses are taken. Literally literally, I'm not just saying that to be hyperbolic.

>Is online dating my best bet?
Online dating is almost never anybody's best bet. If you're a good looking man, or an average-to-good looking woman and all you want is sex, then they're good. They're a lot of headaches for everybody else.

I actually honestly believe I'm likely to be more compatible on a personality level with a much younger girl. I'd like to have a relationship but hookups could still be fun.

My physical attractiveness is quite high, especially for someone my age. My social skills are about average. I don't have a super active social life bcause grad school keeps me pretty busy, though. I go out with friends about once a week.

Not OP but in a similar boat, how can I make friends to go to the college bars with? I am also 31 year old and I'm in my senior undergraduate year at a major university. I really want to get just a little taste of that life, most of my friends are my age and prefer different kinds of environments and I didn't party like that in my first three years because I was in a steady relationship. I've only got another 6 months of college (although then maybe grad school like OP) and I want to make damn sure I make the most of it.

>join clubs
>ask people (either sex) if they want to get drinks

IDK join the anime club or do APO or Kiwanis or join the political club for w/e your opinions are. Just anything to get you around people.

If you're attractive then give it a shot, but prepare to see a lot of fake profiles and a lot of women who are damaged goods. Those places are full of single mothers who can't hold a relationship down.

I'm pretty damn handsome but there's not many good photos of me that aren't selfies and are relatively recent, sonce I don't get out a ton. I also have no idea where to start with writing a bio for Tinder/Bumble/etc. type apps.

Just don't be retarded, really. Women on there mostly only care about looks and will turn a blind eye to a shitty profile and conversation if you have the looks to offset it.

Bumping this cause I'm in a similar boat to OP.

31, late bloomer, another siix months of undergrad left, ended a relationship that took up most of my 20s a year and a half ago and spent the first year just getting good at academics. I also feel like I'd be a good match for someone 5+ years younger.

saving thread

Don't listen to her. Women don't really know what they want and whatever one says they want or will tolerate will vary in different situations. If you have looks, wealth, popularity/status, or some combination of those things then they often forget all their "rules" that they pretend to have.

So find someone mid to late 20s.
What creeps me out is that you are specifically targeting that age and givong the sae excuse "women my age don't like me" and it's off putting. If you just happened to meet someone young and fell in love is one thing, and this is another.

Ahahahahahhahahaha no.

Yeah as if dating literal adults is creepy. Listen buddy an adult is an adult only communists want to control what adults do with their bodies. 10 years is nothing between adults.

Just go out to bars where 20 year olds go they're everywhere.

If you're not looking for anything permanent, you can always say that you're 27 or whatever.

>Ahahahahahhahahaha no.
Yes truly a great rebuttal. I shall now reconsider my entire position on this based off a derisive deflection that you offered in place of a legitimate argument.
Typical female bullshit desu.

OP, I'm 32, and have a gaggle of girls in their early 20s all interested. Here's part of your problem though - you're a late bloomer, as you've admitted, and you're self-conscious about it. Maybe some of that self-consciousness is valid... generally the girls who like older guys like their relative maturity and the fact they have their shit together.

As of right now, while you seem like a decent dude, I don't see anything separating you from a grad student who is 23. What I'll tell you NOT to do is rely on online dating to meet these younger girls. Frankly, they all have their settings knocked well below your age.

While it's really easy to ignore the age gap when you meet someone and develop compatibility with them before you find out how old they are, it's not so easy when someone puts it down on paper and thinks about the kind of guy they want. Let's be honest, in our 30s, there's really a big separator between the guys who are already becoming their dads, and the kind that still have some youthful exuberance.

So here's the deal - go out, talk to girls you find attractive, don't bother with their ages until they're already in too deep.

Also, if girls are saying "so just how old ARE you?" it's not a very good sign.

I'm not OP but I wanted to reply to this too as the 32 year old a post up. While I'm not as vocal about it, I do kinda pursue younger women. The problem isn't that I can't attract women my age, it's just that there's a big difference in lifestyle and attitude. Most women I meet at this age are married to their careers, have the same cyclical hobbies (home for a sensible dinner, glass of wine, Netflix with their tiny dog during the weekdays, weekends are chores Saturday & Sunday Funday with their girls), and are desperate to have kids or settle into something serious really quickly.

Whereas a girl in her earlier to mid 20s is still figuring out the career thing, wants to travel, will go hit a bar on a Tuesday because why not, and hasn't hit the "baby crazy" or "oh God I need to settle down now or I'll be alone forever" phase.

But I will confirm that younger girls who think my similarly aged roommate is a fucking loser treat me a million times differently because I've kept in shape, have a great career, and know how to talk to women without spilling spaghetti everywhere.

this many 22 year olds to 25 year old women would probably prefer a stable 30 year old buff guy over a 22 year old recent scrawny graduate