How do i get rid of or cope with my fetishes?

i hate having all these weird fetish shit turning me on
my fetishes are
>ab/dl
>sissy baby
>feminization
>traps
>being turned into a girl
>castrated or sex change
>lolis/shotas
>shota traps

i've been into ab/dl since i was 7 but didn't understand it until i was a teenager with my fist fap and discovered porn

(i only look at art and porn stores and not live action videos if that makes any difference)

never had gf or friends in school since i'm an autistic loser with no close friends

i'm afraid my fetish will effect my relationship if i ever do meet a girl i like but will be too ashamed of my fetish if we try having sex and i'm not that into casual stuff and that she will leave me or treat me differently or think less of me if i tell her my fetishes
and i'm afraid i might be a danger any future children i might have

i know porn is bad but i just don't have the time and energy for a real relationship and i've never been in love with anyone before since i've only ever had porn

what should i do?
(BTW i'm 19 male and in first year of collage for context)

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Good question user, I also have some fetishes I want to get rid of.

But given that you're only 19 and all, these are some pretty heavy fetishes all revolving around the same thing. Have you considered that maybe you're not just a fetishist, but are actually gay/trans? This is something you should figure out sooner rather than later, maybe with an on campus therapist or something.

Or, experiment with your sexuality. It doesn't sound like you're particularly amped about a girlfriend, and you never have been, outside of the cultural norm.

I say this as someone who had a sissy/feminization fetish, and was hit hard by it in the past few years, part of me wishes I had just taken the plunge and experimented with a guy while I had the opportunity at that age where I could have more reasonably pulled it off. Now I'm older and muscular, and putting on a dress or something just makes me laugh at myself instead of getting a boner. Still fap to it from time to time though.

If you really want to suppress/get rid of it, I think your best bet is getting rid of porn, and making a commitment to get out there and talk to girls/have normal experiences. You're too caught up in your own head and isolation, it sounds like. What really got me over my feminization fetish was envisioning whether or not I'd like to have sex with pretty much any dude that walked by, imagining him all up on me, stinky and hairy, and realizing that's more what the real situation would be like.

That hasn't fixed my other fetishes though, which I see outside of porn all the time.

This does not have to be a problem. You are not the only one with these fetishes and even if someone isn't into them at first, doesn't mean they can't grow to love it. When my bf and I just started dating I confinced him not to be scared and pull out his 'toybox' and I couldn't have been more happy to find someone that's into kinky sex like me! The abdl I had to get used to, but I love him even more for it now.

op here
i'm 5'4 and 115lbs with a baby face so i've never been a been a big guy and have never felt manly and masculine growing up because of it which is why i used to wear leather jackets and shades and carry a knife around in order to feel like a cool bad ass but i just look like a cringe autist at best or a school shooter or serial killer at worst
also why i refuse to date girls taller than me and have tried growing facial hair like a beard so i can look older

I don't necessarily agree with you here. I think sacrificing a lot of the more important parts of a relationship for someone who will indulge your fetish is a pretty bad idea.

Especially because OP has a whole smorgasbord of gender identity issues swimming around in his head.

I have real life fetishes i can do with my wife and i have unrealistic fetishes i can only work at myself.

Learn balance.

OP here
I also had a crossdressing phase in my early teens where i would steal my mom's underwear, bra, swimsuit, or other clothes or try a bit of make up for a few seconds to see how it looked and did the same with my one female friend with her clothes
i only stopped after my brother caught me in the act and my embarrassment and shame of it made me stop

also i don't want to be a trans person or gay
maybe bi or pan would be okay
i don't want to cut my dick and balls off or mess around with my body like that

I never said anything about sacrificing other essentials in a relationship. Just that the two can go together and don't have to lead to problems. And having another genderidentity then the norm doesn't mean it's an issue.. Isn't for me Or my bf. We just connect on a lot of levens.

*levels

Sorry, I wasn't claiming that you were necessarily saying to sacrifice, just that this is the kind of fetish that is going to make many girls run screaming. Working to find someone who accepts his fetish is going to be a lot harder than just finding someone he likes and sharing... there will be a lot of challenges there.

If you don't mind me asking, what are your boyfriend's fetishes that he revealed to you? My main concerning fetish is something that I can't do with another person, so I almost don't see the point in sharing.