Well what the fuck now

Her family is reasonably well off and she's not wanting for commissary. She's never once come close to asking for money.

Basically think if your standard preppy white girl got thrown in prison and hadn't really had to deal with a day of true adversity in her life. I mean, I'm not saying I'm hardcore by any means, I'm a blonde white dude who used to work at Abercrombie & Fitch and now works in advertising, but I was at least homeless for a stint in my life, and my cousin did nearly a decade in federal fuck you in the ass prison.

More than likely, yes, she will be crushed if you simply drop her now. That's why i'm not suggesting you do so. Be her friend, talk to her, etc. She's probably really lonely in there, and rightfully so. However, that loneliness leads her to fall faster. Plus she's probably super horny in there.

Make it clear you don't think you should rush into anything romantic until she gets out. But I see no problem visiting her. She fucked up royally and that particular charge means she could be there for at least 20 years. Be prepared for that.

Yeah she's set for 15 years with the possibility of parole in 5. I haven't dug too much into that whole timeline with her because I feel like bringing up the numbers is a fucked up thing to do. I don't know if time served in jail counts towards that or anything.

I have to admit, visiting her sounds interesting as fuck. But toying with someone's emotions because I think Lockup on the Discovery Channel is an interesting show would be a total dick move.

Just tell her you don't know if you can commit to it, but you do like her. The way I've lived my life so far (and I've been a junky, a college graduate in STEM, a "player", among other things) is to just be fucking honest about my feelings and intentions. If you're genuine and honest, even if someone gets hurt, then so be it. It is what it is.

If you somehow get a conjugal I'd probably just go for it but keep steadfast in the fact that you can't commit to someone you won't be able to genuinely be with. I doubt it'd get that far, though.

Just keep it friendly. You say you have interesting conversations, so keep at that. If she starts to get flirty or amorous, nip that shit and change the topic

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Ask her about prison lesbian rape stories. They are hot af.

She ran away and thats the reason why she got 15 years instead of 5.

>Involuntary manslaughter
Way too long sentence for that kind of crime.
Have you checked the papers from the court?

I feel like, for a sentence that long, not only do you need to kill someone, but also need to kill someone in a very brutal way.

But hey, this is america where private corporations make profits from long sentences.

To put it into context, a thai friend of mine accidentaly some boy with her car. The parents wanted one million bath, she paid everything she had and the court accepted that. No prison sentence or anything like that.

It is so easy to say, "I cannot do this because of that." This is how to live life like un unrecognized puss. Is there any story where the hero made excuses and sat on his ass? Thats what rabbit holes are for dude.

She ran away, thats why she got max sentence. You dumfuck!

She ran from the scene. And there was alcohol involved.

I'm not sure what this means. Is this a "go all in" post? That's what I'm guessing, but sitting on my ass is mostly all I can do here with this girl.

>You dumfuck!
Chill dude, he had not posted that yet when i replied this.

Every person I was ever friends with encouraged me, no, forced me to get drunk with them to "be cool" , and then they would never give time to sober up and never would be there if you needed anything. Shut the fuck up if you are some prep school douche who doesnt know what life is, in reality this is how most people are. It's amazing how American culture is centered around chugging beers and doing risky shit or you will be completely isolated, then these same people act like you are a monster when you do what they told you to do.

Nobody should fucking ever drink alcohol. It's only benefit is numbing yourself to pain from traumatic events. The people you meet at bars are fucking lowlifes. Make the switch to kratom and weed today. These two combined can help kill stress and help you adjust to a life not being invited to parties.

Just like cigarettes, anti alcohol movements make people want to use those substances more. The "rebelliousness" attached to doing these two retarded activities is pushed on everyone in movies and ads, and so naturally dumb fucks see it as an escape. The truth is people need substances to escape , it's just GASP the government pushes the two substances that kill us when we have weed lsd mushrooms kratom etc. Fucking retarded shit. Fuck this world. There's a difference between seeking out somebody to murder and following your countrymen then making a mistake. It could have easily been me , so I have nothing but sympathy for people forced to medicate with alcohol and forced to drive to not go completely fucking insane. Should note this only applies to normal people not douchebags.

How the fuck do you kill somebody by accident?

>go all in
That is unwise. Im not saying to be stupid. Im saying taking action is better than not. I have more regret for not making stupid decisions than I do for making them. And this is a very rare thing that you have here.

Because she had zero intent to kill. Hence "involuntary". But she drank and drove. So it's serious jail time.

>a story to tell
Well you are playing with the emotions of a woman in a fragile situation. You can't just shrug that off as entertainment and hope she won't get hurt by it if she wanted more.
>let me figure that out without someone reading everything I write
I asked the question because I want you to answer it. Not to me, but to yourself. You need to figure out what you want so you can plan your actions to move towards that.

>That's a long fucking time to wait for someone
Well I aired the possibility because a lot of people here don't think waiting 3 years is a big deal. If you are not one of those people, good for you. But then why are you seducing a woman who is almost as attention starved as the guys on this site.

She actually had the right of way and the guy was in the street. But killing someone while DUI and running pretty much trumps that.

I don't actually talk to her about it, I just looked up the details.

Pretty sure you're on something right now if you think that its better to smoke weed and drive or do enough Kratom to have a noticeable effect and drive.

Learn to read

>Hit a pedestrian and then panicked and ran.

OKAY here's how i see it
you can hit someone by accident
But the minut she choose to drive away and Not help the person she hit, she CHOSE to let the person die.
Sorry but how can't you see that
She choose to drive drunk (HER CHOICE)
she hit someone (ACCIDENT but when drunk she probably drove like shit)
She drove away leaving the person to die (HER CHOICE)

No longer involuntary.

Well, I'm in love with her and I don't even know her.Fucker, nobody knows what they would do until it happens to them. And reactions to fear are pretty much involuntary.

>Well you are playing with the emotions of a woman in a fragile situation. You can't just shrug that off as entertainment and hope she won't get hurt by it if she wanted more.
Valid. Honestly, I was naive and didn't even consider that someone in prison that wasn't a dude would be thirsty for this kind of thing.

>I asked the question because I want you to answer it. Not to me, but to yourself. You need to figure out what you want so you can plan your actions to move towards that.
Also valid. I have a day or two to think about it. I really don't know if I should bring friends in for their opinion... they'll probably all think I'm fucking crazy. And not believe that I did this as a lark, since this girl is exactly my type, and I had a drinking problem myself. Again though, I didn't put thought into it.

>If you are not one of those people, good for you. But then why are you seducing a woman who is almost as attention starved as the guys on this site.
Yeah, I'm not the kind of person to desperately wait around. I think I also let my ego get the best of me, it was kinda nice to get the "why the fuck are you writing someone in prison, you have a ton to offer" kind of reaction. Selfish of me.

Are you kidding me....
Omg you know not to drink and drive cause that not only puts your life in danger but others too

And you should as a nice person at least have enough empaty not to fucking drive away when you hit someone omg..

Have you ever hit a deer or something?
I could never drive away before knowning it was dead or okay and someone is gonna get it. And a deer is not even a human

A human omg i would cry like crazy and do everything in my power to safe that person who died because of MY RECKLESS DRIVING

Maybe that person could have survived omg..

It's a horrible thing to do and honestly you not thinking that is horrible

He died on impact. I mean, I don't know if she was certain of this or not, but yeah.

>She choose to drive drunk (HER CHOICE)
Bad choice, but not like it's premeditated murder here. I probably shouldn't defend her, but I get it. I've done it, my friends have done it, my parents have done it... it seems like everyone has done it. Not an excuse, but very specifically human, and not done with evil intent.

>No longer involuntary.
Not done on purpose, so literally the definition of involuntary. Not trying to defend her really, just... it is what it is. She's certainly remorseful.

>He died on impact. I mean, I don't know if she was certain of this or not, but yeah.
How the fuck should she know that SHE DROVE AWAY omg.

>Bad choice, but not like it's premeditated murder here. I probably shouldn't defend her, but I get it. I've done it, my friends have done it, my parents have done it... it seems like everyone has done it. Not an excuse, but very specifically human, and not done with evil intent.

maybe all you know have done it, it's no excuse.. she did it and killed somebody. you don't drink and drive how hard can something like that be honestly

>Not done on purpose, so literally the definition of involuntary. Not trying to defend her really, just... it is what it is. She's certainly remorseful.

No the hit was an accident, i agree
But you have to understand the choice to drive away not trying to save the person you just drove into was a choice, when you make a choice it's no longer involuntary period.

WOW she's remorseful, what a relive, the persons family probably forgives her for that and think it's okay for AT LEAST SHE'S REMORSEFUL

omg...

People make mistakes. There are probably none so much as her, that know what she did wrong. Plenty of people make those mistakes their whole life and never face consequences. I think OP started off with no details about her crime because he was not asking for a judge of character. There are some sober drivers that are much worse drivers than a lot of drunk drivers. Shal we take your license if I outperform you after a couple beers?

Fight/flight/freeze are natural instinct. It is not a decision. It takes training and discipline to overcome fear and that happens at different times for different people. If you think that it is so cut and dry, you can also think that she has received her punishment and the situation has been corrected.

I have to agree with this

I have an interesting story to tell

I had this girl who did (to my knowledge) the same thing

When I found out I was mortified cause I just thought she was cute and I wanted to ask her on a date- nothing more. We couldn't talk in person cause her funds were always low, but mine were lower and I would have done ANYTHING at this point in my life to get a fucking date cause I am just that starved for attention. Plus I liked her cause she seemed nice in person.

I thought she just had a DUI at first, but when her I walked her along this court thing I kinda got a hint that these charges are a bit more serious then I thought.

I mean to be honest I've driven buzzed before, but it was after doing uber in its testing stages in my town and people would just insist on tipping me in weed or alcohol so I would take one drink or joint and immediately jet back home and call it a night

My friend wrecked my car cause I stupidly let him drive after I drank a couple and was like "yeah sure you can practice driving my car"

I worked really fucking hard for that car though and it was my livelyhood so it's real fucking dumb of me to do that.

Nobody was hurt in my accident besides me and we backed into a wall

I had to get surgery

I know how dangerous it is to drive drunk

I didn't leave the parking and got maimed

This girl I was talking to definitely wasn't as good of a driver as I was and I have a feeling her mother is a drunk too

I feel really bad for ghosting her when she is in a time of crisis, but I am in one too honestly and although I will never know if she did kill somebody the charges seem serious enough that she did

I don't have a phone anymore anyway cause of what felt like gangstalking to me

I'm stuck here alone worried and I feel like this girl is probably really really hurting and most likely very much resents me

I did my best to try and get a date from her- that's all I wanted in the first place

clearly OP have his own doubt since asking for adv. in here
so honestly it's really not wrong to point out that what she did was a horrible thing

yes people make mistakes but seriously she killed someone KILLED thats not just a "ow people make mistakes bla bla"
It's fucking serious

and yes she is reciving her punishment but how do you think the family feels? she can be in jail for the rest of her life, she still ruined the life of not only one person but many others

>I'm a social outcast
>got my social fix by emailing an inmate
>become romantic due to social ineptitude, meet her mother
>lack social skills to know anyone who can point out the obvious matter of prison women trying to milk money from multiple men at one time
>tell myself that she made a big mistake as if drinking and driving wasn't the first of many
>Do I visit? do I try and friend zone a woman who I couldn't get past being friends with over a counter or letters? do I give her money? I don't know, she made a mistake right? so I can try and marry her in prison

OP you're a social outcast, your best relationship with a female who isn't related to you is via the prison mail system, you can't be involved with her for at least a few years, you can't know her until she gets out provided she doesn't have someone else lined up or someone better wherever she lives when she gets out, she won't owe you anything when she gets released.
You're trying to be captain save a ho and see her after meeting her mother while also trying to talk yourself out of it.
Source: I'm a prison officer

you sound like you got a good chuckle out of that one officer

Pretty sure the family forgives because anything else is revenge and they probably realize this by now. If you can hit a deer, you can hit a person.

Might just be me, but I don't think that is true at all

yes you can in reality hit everything, but you at least have the emapty and morale to fucking stop and do what you can, call the police, ambulance etc.

you don't just drive away thats makes you a shitty person

i think of my small-mid size town and the kids coming out while everybody around me driving fast now and all the people are drinking more

It's just a matter of time before a kid gets run over- multiple

If you actually have the means to save her then go ahead. Do you make enough money to support a family? If you want to make it work then by all means. It's a weird situation, but if you feel like she is worth it then try it out.

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If anyone thinks people don't make money in prison then they are naive, OP will be sending her money before he knows it to pay for her letters/to get her something nice on her canteen before their visit/to get her out of debt (prison debt gains interest at whatever rate the creditor wants).
She will be buying two of every body wash on the canteen and keeping it on show in her cell in the best case scenario to show she is a bad bitch with money, the worst case is that she is in debt and cleaning cells and giving away one of her meals each day to keep herself from getting into more debt and having to assault another inmate or an officer (which will massively affect her chances of parole, it will be brought up for at least 5 years after the event every parole hearing) or risk being slashed with a bic razor melted into a toothbrush.

I have seen some women get multiple visits from different men trying to tell them that their visit orders are being used by family visiting all the time, they had the best stuff, the guys ate it all up because they wanted to believe they were in for a relationship with a woman who has a great family relationship and family values who will be grateful to them.

I'm not that user, but I feel like I am in a get it off my chest thread here cause I relate to the topic so much

Let me do another Larp

Regarding the girl in my question

There is no fucking way I can make enough money

I guess the least I can do is tell her I'm sorry and I hope things go well for you cause things ended so badly, but I am not messaging her again cause I do not want to re-establish contact cause to be honest she failed my shit test desu

I wouldn't want her near my family

I've dated some nice girls before

I was pretty much engaged at one point so I am not new to dating and actually kinda consider myself a widower

So I just feel like a grandpa watching all this and shaking my head

MY SITUATION NOT OPS

OPS IS BLACK AND WHITE- BAD

It doesn't mean the family should forgive her at all... it doesn't absolve her of anything. But what's done is done. Not sure what else you think should be done now. Executed herself? Shunned from society?

I'm not a social outcast by any means. This isn't my "best female relationship." But I'm sure because you see some bad stories, you can tell exactly who I am and what I'm about.

I have more than enough money to support a family, but at no point in time will I be supporting this girl financially. 100% hard pass on giving her any kind of money.

Continuing on the money theme, like I said earlier in the thread, her family is well off and there's no ask for any money. I'll 100% say no fucking way to any kind of monetary compensation in any form. Were she ever to ask, I'd immediately tell her that it's the last letter I'm writing, and not to contact me again.

>I'm not a social outcast by any means. This isn't my "best female relationship." But I'm sure because you see some bad stories, you can tell exactly who I am and what I'm about.
If you're not a loser why would you want to write to an inmate? if you can talk to any woman in the world why talk to one that you can't have a real relationship with?

>Continuing on the money theme, like I said earlier in the thread, her family is well off and there's no ask for any money. I'll 100% say no fucking way to any kind of monetary compensation in any form. Were she ever to ask, I'd immediately tell her that it's the last letter I'm writing, and not to contact me again.
I hate to break it to you but if her family was "well off" she wouldn't be waiting a few years for parole. Women get amazingly short sentences all over the developed world, even less when they have money.

You're a long job, she will ask for money down the line, there's no other reason to talk to you unless she likes autistic boredom busters or sharing your letters with everyone in the prison.

>I don't know what it is in me inside, maybe it's some kind of superhero complex, but I can't help but shake the idea that this would break her. Part of me wants to just pretend for her sake
What ever you do, DONT LEAD HER ON unless you have deep feelings for her too, if it starts to get romantic, she’ll want to do more with you when she gets out and it’ll be akward and tough to tell her “yeah, I really never loved you in her first place”, if you just want to be friends, make it clear as soon as possible

Isn't this a tactic they use to get money sent in for them?

If you bothered to even read the OP, I wasn't necessarily looking for a female inmate. I decided I wanted to do something interesting I hadn't done before. I'm into watching shows like Lockup and whatever, so I felt like it would be fun.

Not a single bit of this was to get some pussy. I went on a date last week.

>I hate to break it to you but if her family was "well off" she wouldn't be waiting a few years for parole.
Dude, I don't really know jack shit about the system. All I know is that when I found her on the writing site, it said the first shot at parole was five years after sentencing, with a 15 year sentence. If that can be changed, cool, great, whatever. I haven't written a single fucking sentence about when she's getting out, or hanging out when she's out. I haven't written anything slightly romantic, we just talk about what's going on in the outside world and shit. Again, if she asks me for money, I'll cut her off.

I don't know why you're so insistent I'm sitting here with my quivering dick in my hand hoping to fall in love. I'm literally here asking about how to deal with the unexpected romantic interest.

Gotcha. As it stands right now, I'm leaning towards just letting her know I'm not sure meeting is the right idea and letting her decide if she still just wants to shoot the shit. I'm not going to send anything until Tuesday, since I don't want to kick her while she's down on Valentine's Day or something.

>Part of me wants to just pretend for her sake.
That's her problem, not yours. You can't internalize other people's problems because it's emotional suicide.

Exceptions of course being your wife or kids. But that's it.

>do I give her money?
user read the thread she's from a well-off family

I understand you. You are right.

I want to do this too user. Would you post a how to?

>[If she requests money] that it's the last letter I'm writing, and not to contact me again.
Bit of overkill. It's too tempting for a girl to test boundaries, I think. You shouldn't snap at just one request.

Let her ask once, then set the boundary, then hold this conviction. If she asks again, do whatever you want.

It'd be ironic if you couldn't forgive your prisoner friend.

>I wasn't necessarily looking for a female inmate, I watched TV shows about prison then looked up the website and picked out a woman I wanted to write to, I have no romantic interest but I'm invested enough to meet her mother and considering meeting her, I want to know how to deal with unexpected romantic interest after I got so involved but I'm not romantically interested in her, I just picked her off a website and wrote to her
Fixed that for you.

If you don't want to talk to her, cut contact and tell the prison you don't want any more contact with her, you don't owe her closure or an explanation if you don't want her. Go on more real dates with real women.

Wow
Read the thread where I pointed out
>if her family was "well off" she wouldn't be waiting a few years for parole
before you post stupid shit.

That's more or less what I meant. Just that there's not going to be any money going that way, simple as that.

The website actually came up on reddit in a discussion about prisons that I was looking at. I didn't do any major research. I'm not saying I want zero contact, I didn't approach this romantically and I didn't expect romantic interest. Why's it so crazy to think there could be something interesting to learn here? Or help someone hear something about the outside world?

>Why's it so crazy

Not them but It ain't so crazy

Ppl get mrsa in prison.