How do I overcome fear of rejection?

How do I overcome fear of rejection?

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Alcohol
Anti anxiety pills like benzos
Practice makes perfect
Online dating
Arranged marriage

What happens if you do those and you're still too scared to ask out girls?

>Practice makes perfect
Best advice. Learn to accept that some people just aren't interested in you

>practice makes perfect
>do thouse
How many girls have you asked on date this year user?

None cause i cant even muster up the courage to go and ask out one

Get rejected. A lot. You'll learn that there's nothing to fear

You know what? Take piece of paper and write on it

>Hello, my name is user. I am terribly shy. But that doesnt mean I am a monk. And yes, i find you fancy. So in case you are willing to give me a chance, pls text me when you feel like it.
>phone number

And then give it to some girl and then run away like a coward you are. Yes it is very silly idea, but maybe after you do this few times, you will be less scared of women. And who knows, maybe she is into shy bois :-)

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That's not very good practice

same way you kill any nerve, by badgering it till it dies.
Or you could learn to pick up on subtle signs and flirtation.
go to a bar, get slightly hammered than walk up to someone you find attractive and say "hay, wanna fuck?" there by kinda self destructing your chances, but you need the bash a little, do at least two more that night

How long until I get used to it? It just feels worse and worse each time

I cant do it no matter how hard I try. I nearly give myself a panic attack just thinking about asking out girls

I don't know user, it's gonna be different for everyone. I'm still not completely past the fear, I'm very much an introvert. Just remember that the worst thing that can happen is that she says no. Good luck

>It feels worse and worse
Stop putting so much weight on every single girl

Psychologist. Bonus points if the doctor will be female.

Tried it, they don't tell me anything that helps my fear.

This. After you've gone through a couple you realize that it isn't a big deal.

Today I felt the first time of jeliousy of a girl I like. She hangs out with douche bags that don’t give a fuck about her but she thinks they do. I care but that’s not how the cookie crumbles. You don’t you just get used to it.

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When I ask they say you are the greatest, kindest mannered guy I know. But gets shot down because you need to be abusive to get girls.

>you need to be abusive to get girls
That works so well for r/niceguys now doesn't it

MAYBE, and this may sound crazy, girls don't want to make a decision on which your entire self-esteem rides. Maybe.

r/niceguys just want sum fuk. I don’t expect anything from the girl, just being a nice person. I was brought up by old people so I picked up on their ways. I do crazy things it just doesn’t involve sex, drugs and alcohol like a lot of people want.

Think about what makes you afraid of rejection.
Remember that if you don't try you can only lose. But if you do try, there's a chance you win or you lose.
Whose rejection do you fear? If it's a girl don't worry about it, her rejecting you just means you can quickly move on to find another girl, without wasting any more time. Oh and don't be one of those "I don't wanna ruin our friendship" kind of guys. If you want her and like her there's no point in having a friendship, it will only hurt you more in the long run.

Get rejected honestly

The more you reveal yourself to be a reclusive loser the more we're going to assume latent homosexuality

>Being scared to ask out girls makes me gay

What?

If I was gay it'd be simpler for me, I'm not scared talking to guys. But girls make me terrified precisely because I'm attracted to them

Here's my advice, I've posted it before and some anons here claimed it's immoral but they can get fucked.
You should ALWAYS have 1 or 2 backup plan girls. These are girls that you think you may have a chance with. That way, when you ask one girl out, it won't matter so much if she rejects you, because you still will be able to think "oh well doesn't matter, I can just ask girl B or girl C and try my luck". Almost everyone has this mindset and there's nothing wrong with it at all. You should never ever commit to someone before dating them. Before you date them you need to have options, you need to know that if this one girl turns out to reject you, you still know other girls who you can try your luck with. And so on.
This is how normal people deal with rejection. So basically you gotta meet as many girls as you can so you can have the feeling that there are some other girls you might have a chance with if the one you want right now rejects you. If you don't want it to be girls you could think about it as interests. For example if the girl rejects you but you have 2 or 3 hobbies it won't matter so much because you still have your hobbies.
You could think about it as legs of a chair. If it has 4 or 5 legs the chair won't fall. But if a leg gets broken (for example if a girl rejects you, or if you can't do a hobby anymore, that's a broken leg) and you don't have enough extra legs, then the chair will fall and you'll hit your butt on the ground and hurt. You gotta have 4 or possibly more interests at all times. These can be potential girls, hobbies, projects, dreams, your job, your family, etc. Stuff that will keep you from falling and hitting the floor.

Anyone else also scared you won't be rejected but will regret asking her out and not really like her?

Yes. There was this one girl that definitely liked me. She also liked some other guy though. I didn't like her that much but then I thought I should try because it might be the last time I get a girl to like me. She was actually quite cute but we didn't have any interests in common. I took forever but eventually asked her out. She said yes but then cancelled the date. And soon afterwards started dating the other guy. I'm kinda glad though, I would have been a terrible boyfriend.
To be honest my standards are very specific, which is not the same as "high" in terms of general quality but for practical reasons it's the same. I want someone with my same interests, with whom I have endless deep conversations to have. I met a girl like that once but she rejected me too haha.

I said LATENT homosexuality.

But FFS user, looking through this thread you don't seem to actually be heeding any of this advice. You keep deflecting everything, arguing that it doesn't work (and absurdly assuming that shit you haven't tried wouldn't work). Truth is that YOU don't work. You've identified the problem but you haven't actually realized what it means. Your defect isn't that you're afraid of rejection, but rather that you're incapable of taking ownership of your shortcomings. Once you learn to actually make an effort to grow as a person, then bring rejected wont be such a big deal.

Holy shit yes.
Funny thing is that's how I thought about my wife at first

You went to a shit therapist then. Try another or try meds.

oh fuck. i wonder if that's why gay guys keep hitting on me at work.
gotta start asking girls out asap.

It is literally impossible for me to be homosexual when i've spent my entire life feeling sexual attraction towards women. I cant even hug a girl without getting a boner.

Case in point though. You're 100% ignoring the advice that was given to you.
I hope you die in misery you faggot

So far I'm seeing a lot of "do X and it will get better" or "you eventually get used to it". But I don't buy that.

One way to look at things is that good and bad things are like a meal. Rejection is going to be brussel sprouts. No one likes that shit. And you would go insane if that were the only thing on your plate.

What you have to do is to find other things in your life that will represent tastier food. This could be anything from having some alone time, indulging in hobbbies, meeting friends or watching a dumb TV series. If you have a "balanced meal", so to speak, then you'll be able to swallow the sprouts without even noticing.

Another way of saying this is that these things never become less painful, or less difficult. The only thing that changes is our perception of how painful or difficult they are - and that is a function of how many other things we have to "distract ourselves from" or "compare the experience to".

Are you the guy who keeps complaining about not having a girlfriend but also you've asked like 0 girls you're entire life and you also refuse professional mental health help? You suck, man

Why are you berating depressed teenagers on an internet help board? Does that make you feel funny in the pants? Real smooth man

I was asking a yes or no question

You need to realize you're idealizing that girl you've been eyeing at. You know the one.

I once mustered up the courage to ask out the girl I had a crush on for months. She said yes and we started dating. She was the worst girlfriend ever. She couldn't make any decisions, never spoke up about anything, was always too shy about sex, and put in little to no effort. Her looks were her only quality. I thought I loved her for who she was, but in actuality I loved that made up ideal version of her in my head. The actual her was awful. Once I realized that I broke up with her and realized I didn't see these issues much sooner. I was torn up for months that she wasn't the girl I thought she was.

That importance you build up is a facade. Stangers don't become important until you spend intimate time with them. Until then they're just an attractive face that don't matter. When it comes to asking girls out, go into it thinking "I don't know them yet, they could be incredibly uninteresting or shitty people." This will bring them back down to Earth and you can talk to them like any other person. Seriously, it's fucking insane to me that people think they know the love of their lives when they've never even spoken to them. YOU DON'T KNOW THEM, how can they be the love of your life? You're in love with your idea of them.

P.S. stalking them and reading their Facebook isn't "getting to know them," you only really know how they are when you've spent a great deal of alone time together and seen how they act around you.

Finally, understand that rejections give you clarity. That shit aint ever happening. Glad we figured that out, now we can move on to the next person.

You're entirely missing the point. This is the equivalent of me telling you that being a billionaire isn't as good as it's made out to be, and ending with "glad we figured that out" without ever getting a taste. You're oblivious to how fortunate you are that she said yes, and you got to figure things out. A lot of people will be stuck in the dark on these things and take it to the grave with them.

Well if only kissless virgins would realize that most women are shit anyway. You're right I am lucky that she said yes and I found this out myself. I wish I had that foresight before spending months swooning over this woman and mustering up the confidence to ask her out, because it wasn't worth it at all.

Virgins still have to learn to bring women down to Earth. I guess it comes with experience but it makes rejections and approaching a hell of a lot easier.

I appreciate you being cool about it. Don't take this the wrong way but there is always a patronising vibe when people make it to the top, and then tell others to "just XYZ". I mean it's so simple lmao. This is literally the same way billionaires think about life. If you were to take away their money, they would make it right back because they have the right skillset, habits, knowledge, and discipline.

Telling people that it's easy and that you wish you knew that before you made the same mistakes (before, by the way, being bailed out in exactly the way you wanted), is the least convincing and least helpful thing you can do. It will only make people dig their heels into their superstitions and do whatever it takes to repress the anguish further.

Well, I was hoping I'd give foresight of what I wish I knew before going in. Hopefully it would ease some nerves. But if it doesn't then nevermind.