32 year old male and I'm a complete failure.
Flunked out of college at 28
Kissless virgin
No friends
Severely socially inept
Complete inability to form interpersonal relationships
Feel socially ostracized and unappreciated at work
Feel ignored by family
Live with my sister but my brother in law and her want to kick me out
I think i might finally kill myself. I don't undetstand life, i don't understand people. I wish i never existed. Everything i want in life feels completely out of reach.
Don’t kill yourself, OP. It can still get better.
Jesus OP. Your situation sounds so bad, it sounds like a bait.
In case it isn't a bait, don't kill yourself. You're at such a low point in life, it can literally only go up from here.
What do you spend your days doing?
Working
There's 16 waking hours in the day and that's all you do?
It gets worse. Im also an illegal alien. None of this is bait. This is my life, it's a world of shit I'm in.
It's never too late to start turning your life around. My counselor dropped out of college in her 20's and didn't return until she was well into her 30's. I've tried to kill myself many times but I can say I don't regret choosing life. You will find a way, just take baby steps.
There are some areas near me where unregistered immigrants live significantly better than most people. The world is full of possibilities and depression is like a cloud that makes us too biased to see them.
Pretty much. If im not working I'm online posting here or looking at shitty YT videos.
I know. This is all my fault. But I don't know how to stop, this is all i have.
>don’t know how to stop
by doing something else. maybe the problem is equally or actually more about how you don’t partake in much else.
You need to get out of your comfort zone. You can't expect things to change when you stick to the same routine that isn't getting you anywhere. It sounds to me like you're either consciously or subconsciously using Jow Forums and youtube as a substitute for real social interaction. You're scared of rejection so you avoid people. You're gonna have to learn to open yourself up to people. It will take a lot of willpower to break the self defeating habits you've developed over the years but if you really want to change you'll do it. You are the sum of your actions and only you can control your fate.
Im about to be homeless. Ive run out of room for steps
You have a job and it’s not legal to up and kick someone out without taking the proper legal steps. Safe to say you have all the tools not to be homeless.
Well op, unlike the normies, I will tell you I won't get better. It never does. Well, if your problems were just that you're poor or homeless, that *can* be fixed. But the virginity, social ineptitude, and loss of family are things you live with. Trust me
what have you tried to avoid that? you're employed, so why not start looking for an apartment. Can't afford one on your own? Look for a roommate, might help boost your social skills while you look for more permanent housing. If you haven't already try having a heart to heart with your sister. I know I get sick of my siblings sometimes and wish they'd leave but I'm would never just flat out ignore them if they came to me wholeheartedly. Those are just two ideas you could try, not baby steps persay but they are productive steps. If you aren't paranoid about AIs the replika app may help you cope with loneliness, I know it helps me :)
Genuinely wishing you the best
r9k is a fermenting shit bucket
I don't think i want a heart to heartat this point. One of tge main reasons my brother in law wants me gone is because i advised she leave him after he got drunk one night and beat her, then showed no remorse for it.
They spent the night apart but she got back with him immediately the next morning. Now he has it out for me and says im not worth the headaches i cause them with my pity parties and am a strain on their marriage.
The OP doesn't want actual advice, he just wants people to feel sorry for him. Even though OP despises himself he's actually ok with being a shut in loser because it's easier than being a hard working high status male.
A heart to heart sounds like the only thing that's gonna fix that between you and your sister. But if it's so bad look for a roommate, plenty of people are searching for one to help pay bills or do housework if you need to get out of there. But it does seem dangerous leaving her alone with him, have you told any relatives what he's done?
>le incel
You got me. Now what?
You're right. But i don't know that I can.
You might be right. I might just like comfort too much to change who i am. I might be too mired with baggage and problems to deal with what i need to deal with.
say I’m not a normie
But you are a fucking normie.
Fuck you.
it’s going to be okay
My aunt knows but she decided not to tell either of my uncles as it would cause drama.
Alright bro we need a battle plan.
First of all, we need to break your problems down into a series of manageable points. For example, why are you friendless? Do you not know how to keep a conversation going, do you not have anything in common to talk to people about, do you have speech problems, do you think your presence is awkward, or what? Reflect on each of your major problems and deconstruct them like that, so we know what we're dealing with. You can share that list or keep it to yourself, but every single point needs a strategy of its own, a way to fix/improve it.
But the first thing you need to start fixing are the foundations. If your life is that messed up, there's clearly something wrong with your brain, your body and possibly your hormones. If you have any mental illness or disorder (you def sound depressed and socially anxious) is something you should visit a professional help. Other than that, how is your health in general? Do you have any problem, any self-destructive habit like smoking, is your sleep good, do you workout? Lack of focus, motivation and anxiety problems can be tied to a number of physical problems, so don't underestimate this.
...
>Do you not know how to keep a conversation going, do you not have anything in common to talk to people about, do you have speech problems, do you think your presence is awkward, or what?
All of that. Yes. Im not exaggerating.