Good Evening Anonymous! It's Sunday night again! Got a problem with sex and relationships...

Tell me more about that. How does this occur?
And indeed, shit will get better. You might need a little time to yourself to recover, just likevyou would with any other injury.

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>How does this occur?
I see a girl and think she's a little cute. Cuter than most girls I see. But then I think about her more, and I notice things that are not so cute about her. This, combined with my aforementioned fear of being made fun of/judged makes me think that I might be making the wrong move if I hit on her. Eventually I get over this, but it still feels like I might be dragging her into something that I'm not giving a 100% to from my side, and that just feels a little wrong. That part just keeps bugging me.

The loneliness is killing me, and I honestly don't think there's anything at all I can do about it at this point. I'm 42, my job exhausts me, I have no intrinsically social hobbies or interests and barely have the energy even for that, and online dating is a joke, and a sick one at that. Why isn't there some kind of drug I can take? I've got all kinds of meds to get me through the day, but nothing to make the loneliness stop.

I think my old romantic interest just made a fake IG acct to talk to me. Pretending to be a woman. But it could actually also be a number of people. But this thread. What do

Nobody should ever trip. Tripping is basically saying "my posts are so vacuous and empty the only noteworthy thing is that I posted them."

It's like the idea of posting something with merit is beyond them.

>>Eventually I get over this,

But it does affect you, I see. Do you lose sexual interest in All of them? Or is it different every time?
Well, for starters, you have a computer device. And with it, you are connected to anons worldwide, in this thread, and any others, too.
I know it's not the same as face to face contact with a person right there with you. But it's a start. And it can be fun and interesting, too.

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Congrats Faggot

I suggest you let your gut instinct be your guide here. If something smells fishy, it probably is.

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>Do you lose sexual interest in All of them?
I usually don't have 'sexual' interest to begin with. I usually just end up wondering whether hitting on them is a good idea at all.
>Or is it different every time?
Not really. One time I found out a girl had a boyfriend and my doubts kind of vanished. I was mad at myself for not making a move earlier.

Has there been any time when this did not occur?

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Should i move on or i give it a try with this girl, we date for a short time and after a while she tell me we should be friends instead of a relationship, after a talk i tell her than if she doesnt feel something for me anymore, then block me or delete me, then she say that wouldnt be fine and she though i was a good friend, so we continue talking but i feel is like the first times we talk

i dont know if i should move on and just be friends with her or trying to give it a chance.

I am annoyed of not getting noticed at school, and when I am noticed, it’s not very positive. What should I do?

In my opinion, it looks like you have been friendzoned. I suggest that you divert your energy elsewhere.

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What should I do? In my 22 years of life 5 girls I have really liked said that they didn’t want a relationship with me because they thought of me as a father figure? What am I doing wrong?

>>and when I am noticed, it’s not very positive

What happens, exactly?

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Evidently, you come on with an attitude of maturity and responsibility. These are good qualities. Sooner or later, one of these chicks will recognize that.

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I dated a guy and all was going well until he pulled away. First, he stopped meeting me anymore. Then the texting became infrequent although he always responded when I texted first. Then I asked what we are in his opinion, so he said we are friends with benefits. I told him I don't want to fuck anymore then and maybe we won't meet anymore. He said he's still like to be friends and meet me. Yet he's canceled on our meetings for two times in a row now. I confronted him about that, too, and said I've been really hurt about that, and sad, and that I care about him a lot. He said "the last thing I wanted to do was to hurt you" and that " he wants to have more time for me". He told me he fucked up his money issues in a bad way and has no one to talk about it to. Didn't want to talk to me about it either. I told him I have problems too, like being broken up over relationships and being so sensitive and hurt over things like canceling, but that I don't want to place too much blame on him. The truth is though, I still cry at nights over him and I'm unsure of what he even thinks or intends. I'm unsure of what to do. I don't want to give up this person completely, since he has helped me realize some of my goals and is special to me as a friend or as a lover. I just miss him too much and it hurts how distant he is being.

To me, it looks like he is slowly pulling away from you. You might have to accept the fact that he is breaking up with you.

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Any recommendations on better places to look or use my traits more effectively to get a proper relationship?

My boyfriend doesn't make time for me. He goes to school and AA meetings six nights a week and works overnights. We have one night a week to spend time together and he ALWAYS prioritizes spending time with his friends and family instead of me or me and my friends. We live together so I might see him for a brief one or two hour period most days but I dont feel like we get any quality time together. I've tried to talk to him about how I feel like I'm being neglected and he doesn't spend much time with me but he just gets defensive and angry with me about it. How do I talk to him in a way about this that makes him see that I feel like I'm being neglected by him and that we aren't spending much time together. I just feel like I'm not a priority anymore and that he just doesn't care about me or my feelings.

Let me suggest you try any place different from yourusual routine. See some different faces. Maybe a different level of maturity, too.

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Yes, he might. But it would be so much easier if he just did it already. I asked him to tell me if he doesn't want to see me anymore, but he repeatedly says he does want to. I don't get it and it hurts a lot.

How long has he been sober? In early sobriety, the recovering alcoholic needs a lot of meetings. The recommend things like 90 meetings in 90 days. After some time without the booze, he might not need so many meetings, because he is more stable in hid recovery. Then,he'll have more time to spend with you.

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It looks to me like he's waiting around for you to pull the plug. Maybe he thinks that is less painful for you.

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I've been raped and abused by women. I've been looking for a reason to care about relationships and sex. Thus far no one,not even my therapist has given me anything to go on. What have you got for me?

I was trying to. I didn't text him for a week and then he asked me for coffee. He did cancel it after, but he chatted me for a long time that day and it made me feel even worse. Why would he tell me he wants to meet me? And why would he ask me to come over to his house tonight (even though he has to work) if he wants me to end it? Maybe he's just too kind to make me suffer.

And I've told him many times I want him to end it, not me. It hurts so much more this way.

I don't know how many times he's said he wants to spend more time with me. It's not kind, it's cruel.

Just stopping to say hello, as usual.

Or perhaps he simply enjoys manipulating you. Do you get a sense of that?

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That fucking dead center look

I'm running

I go through little cycles of feeling really upset about the fact that I don’t have a partner, made worse by the fact that I know so many couples, happy ones. Hell, one of my friends is about to propose to his girlfriend of 5 years.

I feel as if I’m missing out but at the same time, I’m happy as can be, just studying as a Junior in college and having fun with my hobbies. Dating is just kinda... lost on me. I want to but at the same time, I don’t know where to start or if I’m even ready for it. I’m about to turn 21 and I’ll always be the first to say that I hate the party/club scene haha.

Got some knowledge to drop? It’d be greatly appreciated.

Not at all, no. If anything, he's too kind maybe. And that makes it all the more heartbreaking. I want him to end it if he wishes it to.

Is it valid to break up with girlfriend if she doesn't show her feelings often enough for me? I want my girl to crave me 24/7, but mine does not and is generally uninterested in me.
I still love her and she genuinely loves me too, she wants to have my babies. But I cannot help not longing for more. She also probably has bipolar but refuses to go through treatment "because it doesn't feel right". Is that also my que?
What do?

Hello and welcome to the thread! Good to see you again! Please, have a seat and get comfy!
Some things can be worked out in a 4channel thread. Some things require professional assistance. You say you've been to a therapist. For how long? And how forthcoming are you? Any type of psychotherapy depends on self reporting. If you omit certain things, or change around the facts somehow, it's to your detriment. And your own fault. Not the therapist's.

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Never. My guess is that I'm just not sure about what I think consists of 'attractive'.

Then I suggest you focus only on her good qualities. Not just her looks either. Maybe you really like her voice. Her sense of humor. Things like that.

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I suggest you Sit him down and formally break up with him. I think you should do it for your own peace of mind.

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Yes. You can Find eligible girls in some offset places, ones that are not known as dating hotspots. For example, the laundromat..

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He's coming up on three years sober really soon. I'd get it if he was still in early recovery but hes been sober for awhile now.

I'd like to keep the friendship if possible, but I can't stand the feeling that he doesn't want it and is too kind to say so. How do I ask him to find out? I'd like to see him and really break things up if things are as they fear they are.

Femanon here, I need help telling my bf hes not ugly. What should I say. Pic of him

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Sit him down and ask him flat out. Just like you did here with me.

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I'm facing homelessness and I got deported to country that I have no legal ties to
What do?

I've been going for almost a year. I haven't held much back at all. I try to honest with him.
I'm looking for a reason why I should bother going through with all of this, with psychotherapy, with digging up the bad things that have happened to me, the flashbacks, etc. No one has given me a reason to keep getting up. It's like they just expect I should, because I'm a man and men like sex. That's just not enough for me. What the hell is in it for me? Why should I keep muscling through everything?

I'd date him.
Show him this post.

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Okay, that sounds good.
Thanks Mantis

Looks like an adult elf. I hope to God his genes don't spread to the next generation.

How do I get him to meet? To let him know I'm serious about wanting these answers? I've already scared him off though by being needy like I told you.

Then its time to sit him down and tell him how you feel. Tell him you need more time together with him.

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Thanks. I enjoy your threads. I'll be lurking. =o)

Apply for political asylum.
Go to your home country's embassy.

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Lol I'm a Venezuelan in England, I used to have asylum in the us until I got deported

Tell him you need to talk. Just be matter of fact about it.

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Well, I guess it’s too bad that I don’t need to go to one since my college has free machines in the dorms’ basements haha.

Are you trying to make it a point that it can be just ‘anywhere’ that I try to meet women? That’s fair but I would say my problem doesn’t just stem from trying to meet people. It’s more like, I don’t know how to show interest or give off signals. Nor can I really pick up on those types of things. I’m very blunt about... everything, really.

What say you?

You have internets. Use them to contact your home government.

But I'm heavily against the communist government, and more importantly they're not particularly happy with Venezuelans leaving the country, Lu's being a fucking refugee Is gay I wanna have s job and go to college, pay my taxes n shit

23y/o male, working for the family business as a farmer. I live in the middle of nowhere, and it gives me a hard to connect with people. Even though I have friends, I feel empty inside. The only motivation I get in life ( it may sounds dumb) is building cars and motorcycles as a hobby. I'm terribly lonely and i've started to drink a lot lately to help with get along with theses problems. I'd like to meet new people but man i'm so bad with words and talking to females is a mess. I've been single my whole life and its starting to hurt me a lot. So yeah, sorry for the rent but it feels good to write it down sometimes. Cheers.

>>my college has free machines in the dorms’ basements haha

Girls need to use those too, don't they?
And yes, my point is that you can meet people absolutely anywhere. And practice will help you become more intuitive in your dealings with people in general, as well as girls, in particular.

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Hello and welcome to the thread! It sounds like you just need a little practice talking to people. Most of us can benefit from that. This thread is here every Sunday, and you are welcome to come and visit, and talk to whoever is around!

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Hey now, I wasn’t trying to knock the idea, I just never thought about it that way. My base assumption is that people don’t want to be bothered when it’s something like that but I won’t know if I don’t try.

I guess I’m kinda stuck in a “I won’t bother you so don’t bother me” type of mentality.

It's ok! A lot of us get stuck in little patterns of life. It'll take you a little effort to bust out of yours, but it will be well worth it!

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Don't forget that there are a lot of cute girls who are into cars and motorcycles..

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I do not mean to come across as rude but I really don't know what to do. I think I am pretty attractive but my social game is not on point and I am afraid of never getting a girlfriend again if I break it off with this one.

I want to have deep relationships with people but at the same time have this massive desire to be alone all of the time, obviously these aren't really compatible and I don't know for to break out of this because I feel like a ghost just floating through life without creating any kind of real connections

I've tried but when I do he gets super defensive about it even though I'm just trying to talk about how I feel neglected. He just gets angry whenever I bring up my feelings about things in our relationship and I dont know how to talk to him about it. I tried to use "i feel" statements and make a point of not attacking him but he still gets upset and defensive.

>>She also probably has bipolar but refuses to go through treatment "because it doesn't feel right".

This is a huge warning sign. A mental heath evaluation is confidential and private. And it could answer many questions. What could you do that would encourage her to do this?

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Are these signs someone was in an abusive relationship?

> fight all the time
> kicks him out
> she owns small business and they work together so threatens to fire him if they break up too
> has three dogs and won't let him bring his dog
> claims to be sick to force him to stay
> makes him go to church when he isn't religious
> father in law threatens him
> she is older than him
> his parents were against it
> he cries a lot

Eventually, he's going to have to talk to you about this. Whether he likes it or not. The lines of communication must always be open. Would he be more receptive talking when you're out for dinner, or comfy at home?

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I don't know if it was abusive, but it sure doesn't sound like much fun.

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That is a very good question, and she is so stubborn that I fear nothing will be able to persuade her to do it - she has to decide for it herself. Me making an ultimatum would maybe work since I am very important to her. Other than that I don't really know.
She has recently gotten off antidepressants and those were probably prescribed to her due to a misdiagnosed depression.
She really hit it off on the wrong foot with the nurse doing the evaluation for bipolar so that was why she didn't want to continue the evaluation.
Another reason why she didn't want to start treatment was also because then she would have to stop smoking weed for a few months whilst being diagnosed and also trying the new drugs. And she does not want to stop smoking, I have already tried to convince her.

It's okay to be by yourself. You may never have a huge circle of friends, but that's ok too. I've heard the old saying that goes, "I can count on one hand the number of friends I can truly count on." And I think that's true for you too.

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Well the thing is this was my ex and he relayed a lot of it to me, and since I wasn't actually there I have had trouble understanding. He hasn't outright says it was but he has called me scared and crying so I wanted to see an outside opinion.

When I talked to my friends, before knowing any of this, they said he was using me. But after they all said he was brave to reach out to you and ask for help. I mean, even my worse relationship wasn't this bad. Anyway it's over thankfully.

I think at home would be best but i just dont know how to reach him so that he understands that this is a problem for me. Ive tried a few times with different approaches and its like he just doesn't want to deal with it and it bugs him that im unhappy with a couple things in our relationship or that I want us to spend more time together. He gets mad/defensive when I'm trying to express my feelings or want to spend time together and I honestly dont know what to do or how to talk to him about feeling neglected.

There's a lot of stuff here.
It's also possible that the weed is the thing that's upsetting her moods. It might be worth it to using it for a while,just to see how she feels..

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plz
What is in it fir me?

You have to tell him. And he has to listen. And he has to understand the dire nature of this situation.
I can only hope he has the emotional maturity to understand you, and the empathy to want to fix it.

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Thanks for your input, it is greatly appreciated

The therapist will help you get through all of it. And it does involve going over things in the past. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, as they say.

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How much time should you spend trying to find a date?
I think I am doing good on my self improvement and I am ready to test if I can make it. But I don't know how to start.

Yes of course... but these girls are usually people who only value my toys other than actually me. And have been an actual problem..if you could see how many matches I get on tinder for example with and without my instagram linked in... its crazy man.

I wouldn't put a stopwatch on it. Keep your mood light and upbeat. Don't think about time at all.

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The issue is that I think I spend too much time alone avoiding people, but even when I try to reach out and connect with others they are busy or have other people they would rather hang with, or when people try to converse with me I probably come across as cold and distant. I feel lonely but don't know how to break out

Some of them will certainly be that shallow. The challenge for you is to find one who shares your interests, and is interested in you at the same time.
What's this about instagram?

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I do share a lot of my work and I got a decent following on this platform. That's why it gets their attention I guess.

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You do it slowly. Taking small steps at a time. It taking steps forward, nonetheless. Now that you are aware of this problem, what do you think is the next step to take?

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Then roll with it. If you're getting good responses, by all means, continue.

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how socially fucked am I? I'm a 24 y/o virgin and in medical school and won't have much time to date for probably another 4 years. my prospects are going to be shit, I imagine

I am not depressed or anything. I am doing fine.
I just think I need to spend more than 0 minutes talking to girls, but I wonder what I should aim at. 40h/week seems impossible so the number must be somewhere in between.
Putting a time goal has helped me tremendously with a lot of other things like work, cleaning, workouts etc. I was just wondering if it is possible to quantify something like 5h/week or something? I clearly don't know what I am doing.

Ok... I’m a sex addict. I thought I was just enjoying the game. But it’s come to the point where I can’t keep a relationship down. I have 10 fwb and a couple of sex slaves from bdsm community.
It’s to the point I can’t go to the gym because exercise will give me an erection. I always take an hour lunch so I can have sex. If I don’t get laid at least once a day I can’t even focus on work.
I’m not sure how to handle this. I know about no-fap, but that seems to be for motivation and getting out of the basement, i don’t have that issue. I’ve considered taking anti-depression pills because I hear it kills the sex-drive... idk, any suggestions?