Cheated

The divorce will ruin your life?
Girl, he trapped you and then poured mega deal breakers on you.
Your life is ruined the minute you decide to stay. If he hid cheating on you for up to 8 years, what stops him from continuing on? He even calls it meaningless.
Sorry, if sex is meaningless to him he׳d do it again and again and you are enabling it.

If he cheated on you multiple times you should be able to cheat on him multiple times or he compensate you additionally for those multiple blatant fuckups, be it some nice dinner dates or new clothes. If he's not okay with that then yeah divorce his worthless shitass.

The fact he's trying to excuse it by saying "it was meaningless" really says he's not sorry at all that he did it.

Fuck man. I'm ruined and lost.

I want to talk to someone in my family. Should I involve more people into this? If I divorce being just married I'll be judged by all of my family

Do you think cheating on him will make up for it and stabilize our relationship on the long run?

I was dreaming on a long lasting marriage and having a lot of children. He said that every guy at his job has this kind of history and it's normal in dating life.

Tell the truth as it is, he cheated multiple times, hid it, trapped you and then dropped the bomb.
What the hell.

And what does their opinion matter? So you prefer growing old in a relationship with a massive breach of trust? Where you have to worry where he goes? And seeing that slut mutual scumbag friend of yours whom he fucked and pretend as if all is well?

>I just married omg this will ruin my life.
Most likely, unfortunately.
>What will happen to me if I stay with him?
It will get worse, and one day you will snap and kill him, or you will kill yourself. There is no good outcome of staying with him.

Your best bet of having a proper life, is getting out ASAP to start over anew. Staying is a death sentence.

This is so fucked up I have no words

>He said that every guy at his job has this kind of history and it's normal in dating life.
Where does he work?

I want to make sure I never touch anyone working in that field.

Only your parents or other married family members if you trust them. Don't vent to people that haven't been married or are also new to marriage. They probably won't have good advice.

>Do you think cheating on him will make up for it and stabilize our relationship on the long run?
Lol no, but it will feel better if you're the revenge seeking type. Men are hypocritical, they want to fuck every woman but they want women to stay innocent virgins for them even though there are more men on the planet than women. It's illogical and cheaters are scum.

>He said that every guy at his job has this kind of history and it's normal in dating life.
That is incorrect and this is exactly the hypocritical shit I'm speaking of.

Again, up to you if you want to make it work but at the very least you should give him the ultimatum of making it up to you somehow if he cares about the marriage or divorce. Make him pay up however you see fit, be it with his money, effort, or time.

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Well I don't plan on seeing her ever again. And you have a big point.

I have a lot of thinking to do.

He works in the marketing department.

Odd usually is the other way around

Thanks guys, I came here for advice and also to vent because I don't know who I can't talk to about this.

I feel a bit worse given the divorce variable and I need time to digest all of this shit.

God why are people like this.

Funny thing is that he always treated me like a queen, I always thought I was the only one in his life. He never spared any effort to give me support and does everything for me. This is what's most fucked up.

I thought I was his world and he had guts to see other ppl.

Now I feel like a piece of flaming trash.

Well, they’re not the brightest and most honest and sincere people as most of us know.

Don’t blame yourself just because you were dating a talented liar who got the bright idea of telling you his fuck ups after marrying you. Hold your head high, don’t fall into despair.

Thank you.

I've added it to my list of "people I'll instantly ghost".

>Funny thing is that he always treated me like a queen
In this context sounds like he wanted to "redeem" himself, wich is still stupid because he kept doing it and never told you
He obviously wanted to wait for the weeding so you wouldn't leave. Leave now. That shit is not gonna stop. Don't bring kids into a fucked up family because of that guy's issues
Even if he loves you he's either fucked up or just plain evil and a douchebag

Divorce and take his house and car

Okay user, thank you for that.

Not really, unfortunately.
ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america

A lot of guys have this idea that it is okay to fuck around, as long as you give the most attention to your actual "primary girl". They want a harem, at the end of the day, and somehow think any girl would actually be okay with it. It's just a primal thing a lot of guys have, that they can't figure out how to deal with.

Also one more thing that is making me extremely nervous.

I married in the catholic church. If I divorce I won't be allowed to marry anyone else ever again if I ever decide to follow my religion firmly.

I'll have to choose between living a religion less life or stay single for the rest of my life. Or stay with him and try to work this within the church.

Either way I'm fucked.

>2019
>Catholic

holy shit why

South America is majorly catholic.

Is your religion more important than your mental health and well-being? It sounds more and more like he knows you too well, that’s why he confessed now.

I’m not a religious person, but is it OK within your religion to cheat? Don’t your vows include something about faithfulness?

>Follow a religion that systematically shelters and protects pedophiles.
>"They tell me cheating is wrong"

Honestly the fact that he waited until you were just married (aka legally trapped in some circumstances) is a huge red flag. He doesn’t care about you, he just wants to own you, it seems.

But you know the situation. If you’re okay with him doing this to you forever, then stay

I don't know I'm not even considering religion to be the main factora at the moment. My faith is a little shaky lately but it's another reason why I'm lost.

Wtf I'm latina too and people here divorce and marry just ok

Yo, I'm not religious but even if I was I doubt I would let a bunch of mortal fags tell me what to do

Anyways I'm sorry about what you're going through and I hope you the best. Leave that fag inmediatly. Is not worth it

OP this is all going in circles, the best thing for your well being and happiness is leaving ASAP, find strength within yourself, maybe a support group as well and just treat the wound now.
You will regret not leaving.

You can be righteous and forgive, which plenty of people do, despite what people post on the internet. Or you can end your marriage, start over with a new man who has probably cheated in his past before, too. The risk is always there.

Thank you.

Yeah that's what I'm scared. Especially here in South America its so common to see cheaters. I'm scared to go out there.

I've been in a relationship for 8 years and what if I waste my time again with another cheater.

WHAT IS LIFE?

>he wanted to "redeem" himself
no he didn't, it was part of his betrayal and how well he's honed his craft. He wanted her to believe all was great while he fucked around.

Read the post

you have a perfect case to make for an annulment

Would life be better if I lived single for ever and never committed? I feel like I would end up betrayed ad nauseam.

Why should I engage in relationships ever again, I thought I was safe in this one, thought I was the queen of his world every single day he repeated and showed me how much he loved me.

Sorry guys I'm in denial.

He only confessed after you were married. You know why that is? He wanted to trap you and make it harder for you to leave him. You were just married, people are going to want to know what happened. Wow. How underhanded of him. You should move into your parent's house, stay with a friend or get a hotel room and seriously think about this relationship. Are you really ok starting a life with a man that has deceived you so long in this way? I feel for you. I have been cheated on by a man before. I have a zero-tolerance policy but I understand how it feels to sink years in with a person. If my bf of 6 years told me he had cheated on me I'd be fucking gutted. I am so, so sorry for you OP for having to deal with this. I hope that you make the best decision for yourself, if you stay with him I would give him many limitations and work on repairing the trust. If you want to repair your relationship I would look into resourcing for overcoming and surviving infidelity. It really depends on how sorry he is and how willing he is to change and commit to you. The fact that he waited until you were fucking married to spill the beans does not sit well with me. I wish you luck.

Life is messy, unfortunately.

In Morocco, they joke that if women left their husbands for cheating, nobody would be married. It's a joke, but there is some truth in it.

You can take solace that your husband opened up to you, and that's a good sign that he wants to change his behavior. You should try to work it out with him if you actually like him despite his sexual escapades.

>its so common to see cheaters
and if you let this go it gives him the green light to keep doing it. Its all part of that macho culture shit. The women know but accept it. Will you perpetuate this? If you have a son, turn the other way because its just the way its done or if you have a daughter know and maybe prepare her for a cheating spouse?

Every single day he played a part to deceive you.

He's telling you now so you will know its just the way it is and to shut up and be a good wife.

You love him, right? Decide what's more important. That he got quick release some 8 years ago, or this life that you guys have together.

Also consider that he never had to tell you. Why did he open up? He probably feels very bad and can't handle the guilt, he respects you and thinks you should know. If your man makes a mistake, would you prefer him keep it secret from you or tell you at some point?

He did wrong. Cheating is bad and he shouldn't have done it. But everyone messes up sometimes, and if they're good people, they feel very badly when they do. If they're good people, they should be forgiven.

Just think about what's most important to you, OP before you do anything rash. He probably really loves you.

Dammit, why was I chosen to have this responsibility over my shoulders.

What a shitty situation

Keep him, it's natural for men to fuck around.

Been where you are but I'm asian and the culture accepts a "second wife" but when I discovered my husband had set another woman up in an apartment (made him a big man among all this male friends and social group) I left him. He lost face not me.

I think I have to digest this whole situation before making a decision. But thanks for your point of view. My brain is hurting from so many thoughts, the conflict between him being a good person (he is and always was great to me, as I said before) and being a flaming cheater.

I'm just scared of the future, I feel like any decision I take will end up in a fucked up reality.

I can't see any positive outcome from ANY decision I make from now on.

I did. And I responded accordingly.
I'm saying she has also cheated before, but wants us to believe that only the husband has, so as to alleviate her own guilt.

You know what would happen to you had you been the one cheating multiple times. He would fucking beat, perhaps kill, you and have help from his friends and family

Why would I want to lie to a bunch of anonymous people on the internet? There's no benefit on that if I'm anonymous. And how would that alleviate a supposed guilt, no one here knows me to approve of me.

What a shitty bait.

That doesn't sound like something he would do at all. He was never aggressive. Then again I thought I knew him well after this bomb got dropped in my lap.

I got divorced in my first marriage 7 months in. She revealed she had cheated on me when we first started dating and had recently started cheating again with a coworker. She only told me this because I started to get suspicious about changes in her work schedule and behavior. Shit sucked and I felt like ass for a long time. The people who care about you will be supportive though. He’s the one in the wrong. There’s no reason this should ruin YOUR life. Just get out ASAP and make a new start. The longer you stay the worse it will be and he WILL do it again since he clearly doesn’t care that it hurts you

The issue isn't that he cheated, it's that he doesn't appear to be very apologetic. He probably has gotten a little too comfortable around you and no longer respects you or your boundaries.
Divorce is pretty heavy, if there is a way to salvage the relationship you should try. Maybe threaten him with divorce, try to show him you won't let him walk all over you. With long term relationships (5+ years) some men forget that you can leave them at any time.

>since he clearly doesn’t care that it hurts you

FUCK MEEEEE :(

Thays not true:

dummies.com/religion/christianity/catholicism/the-catholic-church-divorce-and-annulment/

It's not bait. Unless you're not human, you derive some sort of stimulus from social interactions. Regardless of if your name is known to your audience, you will apply what is said to you by the audience to yourself. For example, when I write a bait post and people actually respond, I get a laugh out of it. They don't need to know my name for me to think I'm funny.
Now, with that, in your mind guilt may exist. Not saying it does or doesn't, just that it might for example. So, with this guilt, what are common ways of dealing with it? Well, 1st you may simply own up to it. You're thread could have been, "hey guys. I cheated on my newlywed husband and feel bad :("
The 2nd way is to shift the blame. You know you did something, but if you can convince others a greater evil exist nearby, your worry about the consequences for your own actions diminishes because your audience is distracted.
So your audience is us. As I said earlier, responses to your post trigger a response in your brain and link what's said about you to yourself. No name or personal information necessary.
So the point I'm making is: I don't believe you.

You’re stupid for asking the incel committee for help. Of course they will tell you to divorce. Your husband loves and trusts you enough to reveal his weaknesses. You should be happy that he even wanted to marry you at all after what he did. If you divorce him you’ll likely never marry again until you’re quite old. Women like you are so replaceable... men like your husband on the other hand, not so much. Have fun digging through the millions of incels to find a real man.

>who touched you
>the incel!

Yeah, I know about the requirements and my marriage was 100% valid. So if I want to follow the catholic path I'd have to stay married and solve this shit.

I'm not in the best shape faith wise recently so I need time to think this through.

>good luck with the incels
>posts the most incel reply in the thread

Divorce, there's really no other sane alternative. He doesn't respect you and he will do it again, especially when you get older and he'll start craving more young thot pussy.

Adulterers honestly deserve to be shot, but since this is a civilized society all you can do is separate. Do it, before kids come into play.

Incels aren't capable of anything other than self loathing and oneitis. You really think they'd be able to cheat? lol

>Every single day he played a part to deceive you.

I think this is the part that hurt me the most.

damn nigger I've been on Jow Forums for 10 years, but you turbo autists still manage to suprise my old ass

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Such wasted digits. Oh well. Prove me wrong

>wasted digits

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>What do???
Get checked for STDs, go see a lawyer, and get divorced right now.

Well, I'm not saying d*bs because it's against the rules outside of /b/

Leave or be a duck forever. Leave before you get stuck with a baby.
Once a cheater always a cheater. Coming from a cheater.

Damn I didn't think about this.

Fffuuuuckkkkk

>women cant be ducks

OP, please ignore all posts from Peanut Butter. He is a confirmed cheater himself lmfao. Worms his way into any cheating thread just to support the cheating party. He does this all the time. Massive faggot.

ayyy I gotchu family

>If they're good people, they should be forgiven for cheating
Another one of your terrible posts.
It's funny how you actually believe this is helpful in any way.
I would ask you to consider suicide, but it's pretty much a given that you have no conscience.

You don't know him at all

>salvage the relationship
What relationship? OP has been in a committed relationship and her husband fucks whomever he wants for the last 8 years and lies.

Very rude, piranha. If piranhas tasted good, I would be a sushi chef.

I never cheated, and I never will. Go away PCL moron

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holy autism
>peanut butter isnt a woman beater he just slapped multiple gfs and has anger issues
keked

Fuck around do even things out. And if one of the new guys turns out to be better than him, divorce and go for new guy.

Peanut butter I don't know your yep but I find your point valid. I am confused and hurt but I need to hear as much insight as I can.

Anything helps in this case where I am confused.

Anyway thanks.

He likely truly truly loves you. He told you about his sin for a reason. He felt guilty for his betrayal and he seeks to repent.

You are right to be hurt, very right. It is going to be difficult to forgive. Allow yourself to take time and consider who he truly is though, his true spirit and the man who you know at heart.

He has commited a great sin, and with deliberation if you come to terms that you cannot stay with a man who has cheated, none could fault you, but know that if reconciliation and trust is wanted, he opened this door to rebuild it and rebuild it stronger.

I know it sounds insane to say, but be did the right thing by telling you, because he has been honest about his wrongdoing. He would not have done this unless he really cared about you and really wanted to finally do right by you. When he commited these acts, he likely hadn't made the connection in his heart he's fully realized now.

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>just to support the cheating party
Also no, How you manage to miss the point of my post exceeds me.

But I help both parties. When a tragedy happens, it's all in how you handle it that counts. And you guys suggesting that she throw away this amazing man who treats her well, loves her, and she loves back; all because he made a mistake in his past... YOU guys are destroying her. There is NO SENSE behind just blindly dumping someone on a whim. There's no sense in revenge. All it does is leave everyone in ruin.

I , on the other hand, will not ruin OP. Not out of spite nor any reason.

It would be a totally different story if she came up and said he's an abusive loser, but he's not... he's a great man. You guys are anti-human in your advice sometimes. Get human and accept that we all make mistakes. You can't hold someone to the lowest moment of their life, for the rest of their life. You should recognize people for what they're great at.

In OP's case, there's a LOT on the good side and one dumb little thing on the bad side (PIC RELATED). And you guys just want to throw "dump him!" at her and PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK WHILE DOING IT. You guys are evil. Don't call me evil.

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take the ring off and walkaway

My wife that that i loved left me cause she wanted to 'move on' with her life and now she is raising kids listening to ghetto rap music still

Revenge spreads evil, forgiveness vanquishes evil.

My pleasure OP. I wish you the best.

More like he knows she's enough of a doormat to continue letting him do whatever he wants, but now he just wants to do it without the guilt so he told her. And lo and behold, she's even willing to go along, lmao.

Give him an ultimatum
Divorce or put his dick in a cage(not memeing)

This Pic related really describes the man I knew. I couldn't have been happier in this relationship and it hurts to know about this suddenly.

My world is spinning I think I need to go to a monastery and meditate or some shit.

I think you two need to go to counseling. Marriage counseling AND individual therapy. You were with him for over 8 years so that means something. I'm really sorry your hurt. I know divorce is probably not an option at this point. But he needs to be held accountable for the serious pain he's caused you. Now don't force him to go. Request it. If he refuses, then you go by yourself and find out what to do next. This is a process, not a quick fix. I really hope everything works out the way you wish for user.

Are you OP? If you are, it's still him. He's the same guy, same man you've always known and nothing changed at all. Except you now have a pinch of information. Everything else is the same.

Do what you have to do, but don't work yourself up into a frenzy.

Cheating on him won't make up for it. It'll just make things worse. Leave. Before things get to a worse point. I didn't leave when I should of. Now I'm kind of broken inside and doing everything I can to fix myself.

how can you dipshits not tell this entire thread is bait?
>anime post
>op only coming back to reply to retarded shit and copy and paste "idk wat 2 do!!" regularly
>wont shut the fuck up about religion even though there's at least somewhat of a case for annulment since it happened multiple times before marriage